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Post by shaniam on Apr 29, 2016 13:28:56 GMT
I am the volunteer coordinator for my son's high school band. When I signed up for it, I thought it would be just sending a few emails here and there. Little did I know it meant when no one would sign up, I got stuck with the job. There are about 250 students between band and color guard so plenty of parents to help out. There is a Jazz fest this weekend and our band is in charge of the hospitality room. I also got lumped with providing and planning snacks and meals for this. Two people signed up. Two. Really need two people there all the time but looks like I will be working it mostly solo. Can't rope my husband into helping since he is already aggrevated I have to purchase about $600-$700 worth of food and drinks and then wait to be reimbursed (which usually takes a month or longer). I even put a request on Facebook hoping the band moms I am friends with there would see my desperation and help me out. One of the two that signed up offered to help me extra. No one else on the board is stepping up to help. Everyone has planned. I didn't exactly plan to spend my whole weekend there either though. I thought I would take a laptop and work on some band stuff but have decided to spend the time watching Netflix and such that I don't have time for. The things I was going to work on, I have decided I don't have time for and someone else will have to do them.
Rant over! Thanks for listening.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137 
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Post by rickmer on Apr 29, 2016 13:32:44 GMT
do what you can do. if someone has the audacity to complain, you can reply sweetly "really? i asked for help and no one volunteered".
it can be pretty thankless job to volunteer. after being in your situation before, more than once, i am *very* clear on the parameters of my involvement when i step up to assist.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 6:33:26 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2016 13:35:09 GMT
I have to purchase about $600-$700 worth of food and drinks and then wait to be reimbursed So much nope to that. The money for that should have been raised somehow it shouldn't come out of your pocket wether it will be payed back or not. |
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Post by AN on Apr 29, 2016 13:35:09 GMT
That's some BS in a band that big!! Consider yourself validated. I'd probably be tempted to send a not-very-veiled bitchy email that said something like "We need to increase our fundraising goals, because I'm going to have to hire 3 temps to help with the hospitality room since no one else was able to assist. I've researched it and the cost for the temps is $20/hour, and I estimate we need 24 man hours = $480. Do we have this in the budget, or are there people who can cover some of the shifts?"
That is majorly sucky.
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Post by debmast on Apr 29, 2016 13:35:41 GMT
Go to the band director. Tell him your situation and that you are unable to be there all weekend so unless he can help drum up some volunteers, the hospitality room won't be happening.
I know with my daughter's soccer team, when the "team mom" asks for volunteers, there are a few of us who step up. When the coach indicates that he needs parents to volunteer, suddenly many more come out of the woodwork.
Sadly this type of position is really thankless and it's sad that more parents are unwilling to help out!
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Post by peasapie on Apr 29, 2016 13:37:14 GMT
I wouldn't do all that. At all.
Can you put out an APB that says you need more volunteers or hospitality will be cancelled? Sounds like folks are sitting back waiting for someone else to do it.
If 497 parents can't see fit to pitch in, maybe they don't think it's important. In which case, why are you killing yourself?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 6:33:26 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2016 13:37:17 GMT
Go to the band director. Tell him your situation and that you are unable to be there all weekend so unless he can help drum up some volunteers, the hospitality room won't be happening. I know with my daughter's soccer team, when the "team mom" asks for volunteers, there are a few of us who step up. When the coach indicates that he needs parents to volunteer, suddenly many more come out of the woodwork. Sadly this type of position is really thankless and it's sad that more parents are unwilling to help out!  |
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Post by luvnlifelady on Apr 29, 2016 13:38:35 GMT
Oh I can relate. My kids are in band (about 200 kids total) and there are a few select mom/dads that step up repeatedly. Ridiculous. It got so bad that I ended up cutting back. Was tired of putting in the time and others taking credit too.
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Post by lancermom on Apr 29, 2016 13:41:07 GMT
I agree with asking the director for advice. Our band has a scholarship program. Part of the requirements are volunteering. We understand financially they may not be able to a lot. However time they probably can. It is day, evening and weekends so work can't always be an excuse.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 6:33:26 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2016 13:42:02 GMT
Until you create a pain point for the others, there won't be any change. While it's tempting to do it all anyway, because you want things to go well, you're not doing anyone any favors. I'd send out an email that there will be a hospitality booth open from X to X, those being the limited hours you're willing to be there and or the others who actually volunteered.
And I'd be peeved too about put out $600+ Again, I would create a budget based on previous events and ask that something be paid directly to the vendor or suppliers.
I'm guessing you'll just suck it up this weekend because it's tomorrow! But I would step down and walk away afterwards unless changes are truly made to prevent this.
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Post by cmhs on Apr 29, 2016 13:46:19 GMT
I feel your pain. I am heading up a roadside cleanup tomorrow to fundraise for one of DD's HS activities. This group has at least 50 kids involved but only 5 kids and one other parent volunteered to help tomorrow.
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Kerri W
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Posts: 3,788
Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Apr 29, 2016 13:51:49 GMT
That's some BS in a band that big!! Consider yourself validated. I'd probably be tempted to send a not-very-veiled bitchy email that said something like "We need to increase our fundraising goals, because I'm going to have to hire 3 temps to help with the hospitality room since no one else was able to assist. I've researched it and the cost for the temps is $20/hour, and I estimate we need 24 man hours = $480. Do we have this in the budget, or are there people who can cover some of the shifts?" That is majorly sucky. So much awesomeness in that idea! My band days are over fortunately (band is such a HUGE time commitment!) but I really believe the boosters worked well because of the role the director played. He made it understood from day 1 that parents were needed to help and it was really more of a family activity than just an extra-curricular for your kid. For the most part, the parents in our boosters were involved but occasionally they'd be short handed and the booster chair and the director both were very direct in approaching parents in person at pick up and asking "have you had a chance to sign up to help this weekend?" Have you addressed your concerns with the director? Though I have been on committees where nobody stepped up--you have my sympathies. |
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
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Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Apr 29, 2016 14:04:15 GMT
I'm the volunteer coordinator for a professional children's choir - 11 choirs, with hundreds of kids and LOTS of performances. A bit of advice? Get the conductor on board - they need to hammer home the importance of volunteers to the organization at every parent meeting, every social event, every correspondence. And those who do volunteer need to be publicly thanked.
And you need to (nicely) bug the shit out of people until they start stepping up. Talking to parents one-on-one makes it harder for them to say no. To be honest, 90% of my job is fostering the community - chatting with parents, making their volunteer experience fun, planning volunteer socials, anything to get people to volunteer more. Actually coordinating the volunteers is a very small part of my job.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Apr 29, 2016 14:17:15 GMT
No one appreciates a martyr, so stop being one. Go to the band director and outline what is happening. Tell him that unless he can convince other parents to participate, there will only be a hospitality room open when you are able to staff it with the 2 volunteers. Nothing is going to change unless you speak up with the director.
As for the large amount of money out of pocket? Wouldn't be happening here. Heck, DH won't even front his company travel expense money. If they want him to travel, they will provide a company credit card or cash advance. You need to let the band director know that this is a major imposition on your family budget and expect payment ASAP - not a month or more down the line.
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JustTricia
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Posts: 2,842
Location: Indianapolis
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Post by JustTricia on Apr 29, 2016 14:21:13 GMT
Is the hospitality room for just your band or for everyone involved in Jazz Fest. If just your band, I would send an email that either it will be limited hours or none at all and explain why.
If it's for everyone, I Would send an email that says:
Band Parents~
As you know, our Band is in charge of the hospitality room for all the bands attending Jazz Fest. The room will be open 10 am to 10 pm and will need to be manned at all times. As of the moment, we have three volunteers, so Vol A will work from 10 - 6 day one , Vol B from 6 - 10 day one and 10 - 2 day two, and Vol C from 2 - 10 day two. As you can see, that is one person at a time for eight hours. Please let us know if you have any time frame available so we can keep our parents from having to work eight hour shifts, it would be greatly appreciated. Out of a group this size, we really should be able to have 3 -5 volunteers at a time working only four hour shifts.
Thank you.
People always think others have volunteered. By putting it in writing how many and how long and hard they will have to work, hopefully some will step up.
I would also give a head's up to the other volunteers that they isn't necessarily the schedule first.
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Post by mellowyellow on Apr 29, 2016 14:26:59 GMT
Dang...this really stinks! I'm sorry you are dealing with this but why have you let it go on this long? I would have went to the director awhile back if nobody was stepping up. And I definitely wouldn't be shelling out my own personal money to later get reimbursed. Good luck to you!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 6:33:26 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2016 14:32:58 GMT
I'm really surprised that you have to front the money. Our band boosters pay those bills directly. If I've had to buy something that they couldn't pay directly, I have a check in hand within a day or two.
I have to say, I wouldn't front $6-700. I'd arrange for wherever the money is supposed to come from to pay that bill up front.
Sounds like perhaps the band might have to bow out of this since there aren't funds or volunteers to take care of it. I really think you're being taken advantage of.
ETA I can really hear the stress in your post. It's rare that all the peas are in agreement. It's time to take care of yourself and let this happen as it will with the funds and volunteers that are available. Don't take all the hours, don't front the money. Tell the students they are responsible for their own snacks or have the band buy them themselves. You know that your husband is right -- that's a LOT of money to wait for months to be reimbursed. Speak to the band director and come up with a new plan that doesn't involve you doing and paying for everything.
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Country Ham
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Posts: 3,314
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Apr 29, 2016 14:36:43 GMT
Dang...this really stinks! I'm sorry you are dealing with this but why have you let it go on this long? I would have went to the director awhile back if nobody was stepping up. And I definitely wouldn't be shelling out my own personal money to later get reimbursed. Good luck to you! This. I personally sign up in March for my turn in the concession stand for MAY with one of my kids' groups. The person in charge will not even start league play until every. single. spot is filled with volunteers. I assume you have been asking for volunteers for at least a month now for this weekend. I think I would just say there will not be a hospitality room and each band/color guard member is responsible to bring their own snacks. |
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Post by monklady123 on Apr 29, 2016 14:52:13 GMT
Yes to what everyone else has said. Definitely stop doing everything, and when it hits home to people that something won't happen because no one stepped up to help then I bet they will step up. Back when my kids were in elementary school a friend and I ran the school pictures event, fall and spring. We did it for two years, and at the end of the spring pictures day the second year we decided we wanted to move on to something else. We sent a letter home telling parents that we were done with it and that someone else would need to run it in September. Silence. So we sent another letter home. Nothing. So, with the principal's blessing, we sent one that said "Dear Parents, We know how much you love your child's school photos. They make lovely Christmas gifts for grandparents and provide a year-to-year chronicle of your child's growth. Therefore we are sad to inform you that there will be no school pictures next year because we have not been able to find anyone to volunteer to run them." hehehehe  Well what do you know.... parents stepped up after that. Sheesh. So yeah, I feel your pain, and I would just stop doing what you're doing. People want a hospitality room? Then they need to help run it. And no way would I be putting up all that money ahead of time. That kind of money needs to come out of the budget. |
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,274
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Post by iowgirl on Apr 29, 2016 14:55:27 GMT
Guilt works. Don't just put a post out there on Facebook asking for help. Find people and ask them in person. Have your clipboard ready at events the parents are at. Show them the signup dates and as when they are available. Their needs to be a hard and fast rule that volunteering is mandatory.. LOL
Get something set up for a booster club that has money available to spend. It is best that two people - not relegated and not "besties" have to sign the checks, so there is no monkey business going on with the funds.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,233
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Apr 29, 2016 14:59:29 GMT
No way would I be fronting the money to pay for the food and drinks. The band should have a budget for that. I agree with the above poster who said to talk to the band director. Tell him this is how many hours we will be staffed. Do NOT apologize. Do NOT staff the thing the whole time by yourself. Remember, you teach people how to treat you.
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LeaP
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Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
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Post by LeaP on Apr 29, 2016 15:22:08 GMT
You've gotten some great advice here. Volunteering is often a thankless job. It makes me crazy when people say "we should..." meaning you. AN , Country Ham and monklady123 ideas drive the point home. |
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Post by stampinbetsy on Apr 29, 2016 15:24:39 GMT
It happens with really big bands, too, but maybe not as noticeably.
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Post by stampinbetsy on Apr 29, 2016 15:27:01 GMT
Ugh silly phone. What I was going to say was we have a 700+ member band, and it seems like the same 40-50 or so parents do all the work. We don't get a ton of requests for help, and they can usually fill spots without too much trouble, but it seems like we don't have as much involvement as we could. But I guess because we're so big, the attitude is that there is always someone else to help.
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oldcrow
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Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on Apr 29, 2016 15:34:43 GMT
I have to purchase about $600-$700 worth of food and drinks and then wait to be reimbursed So much nope to that. The money for that should have been raised somehow it shouldn't come out of your pocket wether it will be payed back or not. Absolutely. |
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,569
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on Apr 29, 2016 15:44:05 GMT
Nope none of what you said would be happening. A real bitchy email, post or statement would be said simply stating that there is no way in hell that with 250 families I would be putting out all that money, buying all that stuff, sitting there all fricking weekend. It will all be canceled because there certainly are enough parents to go around.
I would just sign parents up and if they come complaining just state you have to be here or find someone to fill your spot or trade with. Everyone needs to help out. I've made a schedule once, I can't keep switching it to accommodate everyone's needs. If you don't care for the way I'm doing it you can be the coordinator next year, or take over this year.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,569
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
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Post by milocat on Apr 29, 2016 15:49:23 GMT
Ugh silly phone. What I was going to say was we have a 700+ member band, and it seems like the same 40-50 or so parents do all the work. We don't get a ton of requests for help, and they can usually fill spots without too much trouble, but it seems like we don't have as much involvement as we could. But I guess because we're so big, the attitude is that there is always someone else to help. Definitely the easier to guilt people in smaller groups/organizations. We live in a small village so everything is tiny and everyone has to pitch in. 80-100% help is needed so it's not an option to not help it's just a matter of which job you are going to do. |
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Post by mrssmith on Apr 29, 2016 16:07:16 GMT
BTDT but maybe not as bad. It is very frustrating for people to not help out. However, if YOU are the volunteer coordinator, isn't it your responsibility to drum up volunteers? I agree with calling people personally, even to just volunteer for an hour, or maybe someone who can't be there that day can do the food shopping. AND have the director send a message ASAP.
For next year, I would also get the band committee/leaders together to list all the volunteer shifts needed for the year and make it clear each family has to sign up for XX shifts. For my son's soccer team (little kid AYSO soccer), every family has to take a week doing goal pickup and snack. That is what is expected for participating.
Also, speak to the treasurer and ask for a check or cash up front to cover the cost of food and then turn in a receipt and give back any overage. OR, ask for the check to be cut that very day to reimburse you. Why on earth would it take a month? Does that go through the school? No way could I front $700 for a month. That is a ridiculous amount to ask of someone.
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Apr 29, 2016 16:08:02 GMT
This doesn't help you this weekend, but for summer/next fall if you are still stuck with this again, assign every child's parent to a time slot during the semester then tell them it is there responsibility to find substitutes and let you know ahead of time who will be substituting. Send the schedule out at the beginning of the season then reminders each week. It is a lot of work on you, but you will probably have people show up. Many will be too lazy to find a substitute, so they'll show up.
I have a 7th grader who won't even be in the high school band for 2 years, and I am already on the rotation for football game concessions (no volunteering - they told me when my child needed to have a parent present to work). There are some parents (the band booster officers, I think) who are there every time, but most of the parents do their assigned shifts and feel grateful that it isn't more frequent.
I would also have a big talk with the treasurer or whoever writes the checks about reimbursing immediately. That is too much money to delay reimbursement, IMO. If they can't reimburse immediately, the treasurer would find themselves in charge of the purchase the next time.
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
Posts: 7,798
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Apr 29, 2016 16:15:37 GMT
Unfortunately, I've had similar (non-band) volunteering experiences. It wasn't until I realized that other parents were able to have an enjoyable time, socialize, & support their children during these events, while I was busy - sometimes solo - making it happen. I decided my child deserved better! I continue to volunteer, but never take responsibility for the entire project. If others don't sign-up, the event doesn't happen.
In your specific situation, I recommend immediately contacting the band director. Communicate the estimated cost of the food & drinks & the number of volunteers to date. Indicate that it appears the band will be unable to staff the hospitality lounge at this weekend's festival due to the cost & lack of parent participation. Since this will reflect badly on her/him, I suspect s/he will be willing to recruit volunteers & donations for the event. Best wishes!
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