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Post by mikklynn on Apr 30, 2016 13:31:11 GMT
I'm a bit surprised by the replies. This is the mother of his 8 year old dd and his disabled son. He'd have to be an asshole to not step up and help his children's mother. This was my thought, too, assuming he has the money.
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Post by seikashaven on Apr 30, 2016 13:57:27 GMT
His only obligation is to ensure the emotional and financial needs of his children are met.
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Post by txdancermom on Apr 30, 2016 14:00:12 GMT
If he were inclined to help a friend in a similar situation, then yes, otherwise no.
He should support the kids emotionally - let them know that as their father, he is there for them.
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,969
Jan 4, 2015 1:47:52 GMT
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Post by AnotherPea on Apr 30, 2016 14:21:03 GMT
I'm a bit surprised by the replies. This is the mother of his 8 year old dd and his disabled son. He'd have to be an asshole to not step up and help his children's mother. His only legal obligation is what is written in the divorce decree. Moral obligation would be up to him. Which is what the question was - moral obligation. And my response. I didn't say he needed to be tossed in jail or have his wages docked. Just that he'd be an asshole.
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Post by leslie132 on Apr 30, 2016 14:42:50 GMT
I'm not divorced, but my husband had the brain tumor. Size of a racquetball!! There is no way her children can be cared for in the first weeks (possibly longer depending) in a manner they would need. I should add I'm basing this off of what my husband went thru.....so maybe I'm wrong.
Having said that.....financially. No, I wouldn't give a penny. She made the choice to end that responsibility. Those children though, did nothing of the sort. He should step up in the caregiving of his children. No ways around my answer there!
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,840
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Apr 30, 2016 14:44:10 GMT
His only legal obligation is what is written in the divorce decree. Moral obligation would be up to him. Which is what the question was - moral obligation. And my response. I didn't say he needed to be tossed in jail or have his wages docked. Just that he'd be an asshole. No information was given about what his relationship & role is with the children. The divorce decree stipulates the legal obligations. The information about this situation is from a 3rd party and I do not assume that all the information is complete & accurate. There could be many mitigating factors (unkown to us) why the ex may not or could not contribute funds. The only statement was that a Go-Fund-Me account was set up by the oldest child. This child probably doesn't know about other means of raising funds. Do not judge as the entire story isn't given. It is easy to be a keyboard/armchair quarterback. You have no skin in this game. Therefore, his moral obligations are up to him to decide.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Apr 30, 2016 15:05:11 GMT
No not at all and if I was the Ex with the tumor it wouldn't even cross my mind for him to help me out.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,987
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Apr 30, 2016 15:30:23 GMT
His only obligation is to ensure the emotional and financial needs of his children are met. Exactly. Like I said before, he has zero obligation to her.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Apr 30, 2016 15:32:32 GMT
No.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,569
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Apr 30, 2016 15:35:08 GMT
Actually, I do feel that he should help if he can, They share children together, and, what hurts her hurts them. How would their children feel to know their father could easily have helped ther mother --assuming that is true--and he didn't? I'm very surprised at most of the responses so far. My ex was a lying, cheating bastard, and I would still feel that, as the father of my children, I would and should help him if I could. I don't think he is obligated but I do think if it will affect his childrens quality of life he should help out. It's a medical bill, not like she is out spending the money on designer purses and now can't afford to feed the children.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Apr 30, 2016 15:48:44 GMT
I find the $20,000 amount suspect. The actual surgery I would think would be much more than this, what about health insurance? I know there are some high deductibles out there, but $20k? Something is very "off" unless I'm off the mark in wondering about this amount. I was thinking this as well. Maybe some of the funds would be to help with expenses if she is unable to work for awhile?
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MsKnit
Pearl Clutcher
RefuPea #1406
Posts: 2,648
Jun 26, 2014 19:06:42 GMT
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Post by MsKnit on Apr 30, 2016 18:29:28 GMT
No. He has no obligation to his ex-wife.
However, I do believe he should help with the children while she is recovering from surgery.
It sounds like the 19 year old is taking on responsibility. However, she shouldn't have to do it all. If dad is a decent man, he will make sure he shoulders at minimum some responsibility for the 8 year old and 16 year old.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Apr 30, 2016 18:37:27 GMT
what happens after the divorce is final to one of the people involved is not the other persons obligation. As long as there is nothing in the divorce that says different.
As in my divorce the medical issues I have before the divorce he has to help pay for but I get no help after the divorce is final for any medical issues that happen after the divorce is final. but he still has to pay for the medical bills predating the final divorce decree.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Apr 30, 2016 18:39:50 GMT
I'm a bit surprised by the replies. This is the mother of his 8 year old dd and his disabled son. He'd have to be an asshole to not step up and help his children's mother. This was my thought, too, assuming he has the money. It doesn't matter what anybody on here says. he is not obligated in any way. as long as she got sick after the divorce is final. That being said he would be an ass if he didn't help. there is so many ways he can help her.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 2:17:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2016 20:10:00 GMT
He has no obligation to help the ex-wife, but he does to make sure HIS children are taken care of, even if that means that he pays for utilities and food.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 29, 2024 2:17:33 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 2, 2016 18:20:14 GMT
No more than anyone is obligated to help out to the best of their ability.
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Post by annabella on May 2, 2016 19:46:07 GMT
I don't know about the gofundme page, but he should do whatever he can financially to help the mother of his children with medical costs if she is unable to get the proper care. Or maybe the issue is she can't take time off for surgery or time after surgery for recovery because she needs to work? I don't know. If she dies his children lose a mother which means he'll have to take the kids in so yes which he doesn't see much you say so yes he better chip in for her survival.
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Post by brina on May 2, 2016 19:59:15 GMT
He could do the right thing and step up and be a better dad. I don't think he has any financial obligation towards her medical costs. Not sure I would feel obligated to help with medical expenses for the person who cheated on me.
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Post by papersilly on May 2, 2016 20:00:40 GMT
out of respect to the mother of his children, I would hope that he helps out. for nothing else, do it for the children, if not for the ex.
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Post by brina on May 2, 2016 20:02:06 GMT
Actually, I do feel that he should help if he can, They share children together, and, what hurts her hurts them. How would their children feel to know their father could easily have helped ther mother --assuming that is true--and he didn't? I'm very surprised at most of the responses so far. My ex was a lying, cheating bastard, and I would still feel that, as the father of my children, I would and should help him if I could. I don't think he is obligated but I do think if it will affect his childrens quality of life he should help out. It's a medical bill, not like she is out spending the money on designer purses and now can't afford to feed the children. I could also wonder how they felt about the fact that their mother broke her marriage vows to their father. Isn't that the definition of a moral obligation that was not met?
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on May 2, 2016 20:38:52 GMT
I'm a bit surprised by the replies. This is the mother of his 8 year old dd and his disabled son. He'd have to be an asshole to not step up and help his children's mother. His only legal obligation is what is written in the divorce decree. Moral obligation would be up to him. I would hope he would step up and help with the kids more. If he were my Dad I would like to see him help.. by at least making a small donation.
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