|
Post by Zee on May 4, 2016 1:06:26 GMT
Very low-key. We flew off to Lake Tahoe and got married outdoors, quite lovely, no family except his sister and BIL since they lived close enough to be our attendants.
We came home and had a celebration for all friends and family in the basement of a local bar, very low-key and relaxed. There were sheet cakes, party sandwhiches, decorations from the card and party store, tons of free beer, and a DJ. I wore my wedding dress but everyone else was free to wear anything they liked. I still have people tell me how much fun they had so I don't think anyone minded at all that I didn't have a fancy affair! We paid for it all and it was obviously very easy to plan, no stress whatsoever that I can recall other than MIL and I had to go over the next day and clean everything up and I had a bad headache. And someone had painted a penis on my car, which I didn't notice until MIL and I got back home and I went upstairs, looked out the window, and noticed the artwork. LOLOLOL MIL and I drove all around town with a dick on the car and "bite the weenie" written on it.
|
|
moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,247
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
|
Post by moodyblue on May 4, 2016 1:08:18 GMT
I was 42 when we got married, my first wedding, his second.
We had the wedding in front of a waterfall at the local botanical center, late morning. We had a limit on guests of 20, I think, not counting the wedding party. We each had one attendant, his best friend, my sister, plus we had my goddaughter holding the rings - and we got married on her 7th birthday.
I had a pantsuit made, ivory crepe and peachskin. I had never, even as a child, been able to see myself in any kind of traditional wedding dress. This suited me and cost about $250, I think. I told my sister to wear what she wanted and the same for Hannah; I suggested blue as a color, because that has always been my favorite.
The officiant was one we got from a list the center had, and the ceremony was totally non-religious, even though she was an ordained minister.
We had lunch at my parents' for the family and friends who were at the wedding. Then we had an afternoon open house type reception at my brother's house, the one I grew up in on the family farm. He has a huge deck and there are acres of gardens that my mom has developed over the years. It was in July and it was the one weekend in July that year that was really nice without being swelteringly hot. It turned out perfect for a casual reception that was mostly outdoors. We had lots of very good cake and munchies and beverages and it was all very relaxed. There were about 130-150 people who came. After the reception we opened gifts and a bunch of family stayed for that part.
Neither of us wanted a big traditional wedding. And, we had just bought a lot and were starting the building process. In fact, we didn't go on a honeymoon because we got married on a Saturday and they started digging for the house on Tuesday. We were much more focused on the marriage and house than on spending a ton of money on a wedding and reception. We did spend on the cake, but not as much as people probably thought (older woman made it and it was delicious, all five flavors) and had nice flowers including fresh flowers to decorate the cake. We didn't have to decorate the facility since the waterfall and foliage at the botanical center were enough. My husband's first wife and her husband took pictures for us (they are actually good friends of ours), so his ex was one of the limited number of guests at our wedding.
It worked for us, and it cost a minimal amount of money; people had a good time and we didn't do any of the traditional stuff except cutting the cake. We did have a separate birthday cake for Hannah and a special gift for her, so we acknowledged her birthday too.
|
|
|
Post by Woobster on May 4, 2016 1:11:34 GMT
DH and I had a lovely downtown wedding, with dinner and dancing for 135 people. It was fairly traditional, but casual and relaxed... It was perfect for us. We paid for everything (with the exception of my dress and our photographer, which were gifts from my parents and his), so we had total control over everything. We did without some of the extras (i.e. limo, videographer), but we spent our money wisely and had a lovely evening.
Looking back, I'm not sure there's much I would change. It really was the perfect day.
|
|
|
Post by laureljean on May 4, 2016 1:19:07 GMT
It was fun. I shook like a leaf all the way down the aisle, lol. Friends and family were there. No real drama. The ceremony was what we wanted, and the reception was a huge, party. We were very happy with it.
|
|
|
Post by tuva42 on May 4, 2016 1:30:35 GMT
We got married in 1989. It was a big wedding, about 200 guests, but I knew, or DH knew, every single one of them. All of our family, aunts and uncles, grandparents, family friends we'd grown up with, our co-workers. We both worked at jobs where we had lots of friends and they all came. I remember standing at the entrance to the church, ready to walk down the aisle and grinning like a fool, because everyone I loved was all in one room at the same time. I loved it.
It was not super expensive, though. Maybe $3,000. We were pretty traditional. I wore a long, white gown, that I got at an amazingly cheap price. I had 4 attendants, DH had a few more. We didn't do a sit down dinner, just lots of appetizers at a hotel ballroom reception. Mom had input into the plans, but mostly we agreed on things. She insisted on a receiving line at the reception which I didn't want, but she was right. We didn't make the attendants stand in the line, just DH and I and our parents. But we got to greet every single guest and have a little time with them that way, and it worked out well. DH's favorite part was that the hotel owned a vintage Rolls Royce and that was the car that took us from the church to the reception and from the reception to the hotel we spent the night in.
The one odd thing we did was that we didn't leave on our honeymoon for 2 or 3 days. We had a lot of relatives who came in for the wedding, so we stuck around and spent a couple of days with them, then flew off to St. Croix on Monday or Tuesday. I remember sitting around the hotel pool with my mom, aunt, grandmother and some cousins, and my maid of honor opening up all the wedding gifts the day after. My grandmother just loved that. Some of my little cousins and nephews had a ball helping me unwrap things in between dips in the pool.
|
|
psiluvu
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,217
Location: Canada's Capital
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:26 GMT
|
Post by psiluvu on May 4, 2016 1:33:43 GMT
Married in 1996. A catholic wedding mass followed by a sit down dinner at a hotel. We had 100 people. Both my parents walked me down the aisle. My SIL did a reading at church and my brother was the MC. We had 3 groomsmen and were supposed to have 3 bridesmaids but one was supposed to be very pregnat at that time turns out she had him early and had a 3 week old. She was named as an honourary bridesmaid. One of the groomsmen's wives was a stand in for pictures requiring couples.
We planned and paid for everything. One of the bridesmaids moms made the dresses for my girls. We had a blast and partied most of the night and then left for our honeymoon in Bahamas at noon the next day. We had it where we were living and not the cities where we came from so that meant most of the guests were from out of town they stayed in the same hotel we had dinner and the reception and sometimes now still hear how much fun it was. I don't think I would change a thing.
|
|
|
Post by llinin on May 4, 2016 1:44:20 GMT
I'll throw mine in since I don't think I have seen it. We told everyone we were going away that weekend to get married on Jan 8, so we wanted to have a big dinner with everyone in town on Jan 6. We rented out a super cute little restaurant and told everyone to wear jeans, just a casual get together.
Had hidden my wedding dress, my husband's suit, the wedding cake, favors, champagne, etc. in back with help from the restaurant.
After the dinner buffet, we told everyone we had to go in back and we'd be back out to do thank you's and dessert.
Came out a few minutes later having changed in to a wedding dress and carrying a bouquet and my husband changed in to his suit, and announced "Did we mention dessert was going to be wedding cake?" and then they moved the screens at the front where it was decorated for our ceremony. The pastor stood up and then we got married while everybody picked their jaws up off the floor from surprise.
My parents had died 2 years before, I didn't want anybody to be sad that nobody was there to walk me down the aisle, didn't need gifts, didn't want the fuss, etc.
So, we threw a surprise wedding and it was perfect. The restaurant and a few friends were in on it, couldn't have pulled it off alone.
|
|
|
Post by refugeepea on May 4, 2016 2:07:40 GMT
I was married in an LDS temple. Only temple recomend holders were allowed. I think the biggest room could only fit 50 people.
The ceremony is the exact same for anyone that gets married. You have to repeat vows. It was overwhelming because it's so "sacred" you're basically told NOTHING of what will be going on. It is very vague information.
It was especially a very anxious time since I'd only taken out my endowments (whole other story) the day before. My brother lied to me about one part of the ceremony and I was laughed at for my naivety because I believed him. I was humiliated in the temple, the house of the Lord.
It was the worst decision of my life. I wore weird underwear for way too long.
The only plus was that it was a gorgeous building.
|
|
styxgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,932
Jun 27, 2014 4:51:44 GMT
|
Post by styxgirl on May 4, 2016 2:10:46 GMT
We got married in Vegas. Just me and DH. It was awesome!
Our family took us to the airport to see us off. This was back when they could go with you into the terminal.
We got married there in our hotel chapel. It was very cool.
Then had a big family/friends party reception when we got back.
|
|
|
Post by Delta Dawn on May 4, 2016 2:16:01 GMT
I don't have a photograph of our wedding that is better than this. My kimono was white. I don't know why she is wearing red. Normally a bride wears white, red, multicoloured and then a party dress.
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 4, 2016 2:31:08 GMT
We got married last month at City Hall (it was about time). It was my parents, my kids and my grandmother and my best friend, DH's mom, brother and his two best cousins flew in from England. We all went out for high tea on a weekday afternoon and it was lovely. I wore a red wrap dress, nothing fancy and I will wear it many times again. A couple of days later we had about 30 friends and family members to the bar by our house and partied. The second party appeased some of DH's family that we didnt invite to city hall but lots of people are still pretty pissed at us. Ah well, they will get over it eventually. Dh's family is indian and they do weddings... Big. His brother had 1200 people at his! His cousin that came from England for the wedding spent 100,000 POUND on his first wedding. Insanity. We spent 1% of that, LOL. I helped organize a birthday party for a 1 yr old Indian boy, jungle theme, for over 40 tables of 8 people at an upscale golf course. The flowers on the table (all fern, banana leaves ,etc.) were easily $1000!!!! All the Indian celebrations were HUGE, ornate, sumptuous and over the top!
|
|
|
Post by ilikepink on May 4, 2016 3:27:20 GMT
Great stories! Wedding #1--1982. Very traditional, long princess-y dress, 4 attendants each 120 people. My mother was there to guide me, but was rather hands-off. My grandfather paid for it (I was his only grandchild). We wanted to be married outside in a park, but XH1 is Catholic and the church would not allow it. Ended up getting married in my childhood church (made grandfather happy) with a Catholic priest assisting. MIL was a pill through it all--wanted a different time, wasn't initially happy about the reception site (local hotel) - but she was so unhappy about it being in my church and the appearance of lack of Catholicism that at the rehearsal she threatened to not come. By that point, I didn't care any more, but she was there The reception was fun - went down in family history as a great party! Wedding #2 - We did this ourselves. I would have been happy just getting married, but he wanted a wedding. It was outside (persistence on my part!), officiated by the mayor (who was a friend) and a reception for 120ish people nearby. We had a horse and carriage to take me to the ceremony and us to the reception, which was cool. Because I had my boys, it was very important that it was more than just us, it was five of us becoming a family. It was also a good party; and we had a nice honeymoon in Hawaii. I don't think I would do anything different for the weddings. Even the grooms - Each taught me a lot, and I have 3 great sons as a result. But I'm never, ever, ever doing it again!!!
|
|
|
Post by lancermom on May 4, 2016 4:44:54 GMT
We had a very traditional wedding. Less than 100 invited. DD was flower girl. My mom wanted to plan it, but since I was paying she didn't get a vote! MIL wanted an expensive photographer. It was out of our budget, she insisted, so I told her she had to pay. She did. Now 20 years later I have become friends with the photographer. If I could do again...I would have an evening wedding. Simple ceremony and just a dessert reception.
July will be our 20th anniversary, I already have my friend lined up for pictures. I want them done on our actual anniversary. Since we were his first wedding, he is just as excited!
|
|
mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
|
Post by mallie on May 4, 2016 11:19:04 GMT
Big white New York wedding. Great food, great (open) bar, great band, great fun. No one left early; in fact the band stayed past their time and the banquet staff were doing the tarantella with us at the end. Our guests still talk about our wedding. My parents had their flaws, but they knew how to throw a party!
|
|
grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
|
Post by grinningcat on May 4, 2016 12:47:36 GMT
What was your wedding like? Small, personalized, fun, perfect. A little bittersweet since my dad died 3 weeks before but it was good.
Were you in control or did your family (or your partner's family) have a lot of control? We were in control. His family tried to dictate everything from having a church wedding in their church (one, I'm an athiest so it would be hypocrtical and really, their church would not be my first choice), to a church hall reception (if I wanted basketball hoops in my wedding venue, I'd have a basketball themed wedding. Not to mention I didn't want mediocre church lady food), to the guest list (no, I'm not paying for 300 strangers, if we don't know the people they aren't invited. Period), to who was supposed to be in the wedding (no, I'm not having his stuck up sisters in my wedding party. I'm not interested in their input nor paying for their clothes. I'll have my man of honour and that's it. He'll keep me sane, they won't). They ended up being in the dark for most of the planning because they couldn't control it so the info stopped. My family actually respected our ideas and desires and would actually help us rather than tear us down.
What (if anything) would you have done differently? Other than telling his family to STFU earlier than we did? Probably nothing. Hmmm... maybe order less cupcakes. We went a little overboard with that. We really enjoyed our wedding.
|
|
|
Post by ScrapsontheRocks on May 4, 2016 13:46:14 GMT
I have been married twice, like others here and my weddings were chalk and cheese. Probably because I / my ex had little control the first time and the opposite was true the second time. My first wedding was in 1986. I was that career girl who had insisted I was going to wait until I had both my degrees behind me (just some postgrad stuff left over) and I was more than halfway through my obligatory articles of clerkship. My parents were very traditional and paid for the white wedding, I remember dancing with my beloved Dad so very clearly. My Mom was not a bad seamstress but she had her BFF, who was truly outstanding, make my dress and three more (MOH buddy from law school and two younger girls, both from DH to be's side). MIL to be was a widow, I never knew FIL, and she was quite religious so she took control of the service stuff and all of her friends from Bible study decorated the church, they were great! Our reception was a sit down dinner with speeches, a mix of family, friends and some people from work as we were both under articles and building a career we went to Cape Town on honeymoon. My second wedding (I was 33) was planned as being much smaller. My DH's family were flying over from Wales as they were an intrepid lot, my parents were elderly in comparison and not fit to travel. We planned it so they would come out on the 10th of December, we would tour around with them, chill with my lot then get married on the 2nd January, by which time they would fly home so we could honeymoon. Sadly, the day my in -laws to be were flying out was the day of my beloved Dad's death. We couldn't contact them as they were being driven from Wales to Heathrow. We decided to go ahead but scaled back a lot of things, I skipped the touring around and my husband's best man (he was amazing- born on the same day as me) travelled to CTown and the game reserve with the in-laws. My husband joined them at the battlefields of Isandhlwana and Rorke's Drift as that was a trip he really wanted to do with his Dad and it was unforgettable. The actual second wedding was in the curved window of a restaurant with a stunning African bush view- waterhole with Acacia tree lit up with lanterns. After the ceremony they put our top, rectangular table into that window and replaced the ceremony chairs with round tables for our guests. Everyone was so supportive, especially to my Mom. We took all the flowers including my bouquet to my Dad's grave the next morning and left for our honeymoon on Rovos Rail to Vic falls so we had a lot of privacy and downtime. We spent very little time in the lounges, I preferred to lie in the bath with my toes pointed out of the train window. My new DH had a lounge area just outside the open bathroom door and he was in charge of pouring champagne. Wow, this turned out long, what a great thread! ETA grinningcat I liked your thread and I get you on the bittersweet thing.
|
|
pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,648
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
|
Post by pudgygroundhog on May 4, 2016 13:59:53 GMT
My husband and I got married in 2003 by a justice of the peace at a local inn followed by dinner with our parents and a few friends were there (nine guests total). Little planning, low cost, no drama, no issues - perfect for us. A few weeks later we hiked the Tour du Mont Blanc for our honeymoon.
I would do it the same way again. My only regret is that I wish we would've paid good money for a good photographer for some photos.
ETA: our parents gave us monetary wedding gifts and that amount would've been the same whether we had a big wedding or not (and we never would have expected/asked our parents to pay for a wedding). If we had had a big wedding, it would've mostly been on us to pay and financially, I'm glad we didn't fork over that kind of money.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 22:23:53 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 4, 2016 15:11:03 GMT
We were living in San Diego, I wasn't going to try and plan a long distance wedding back in Iowa nor did DH want to plan anything where he was from so.......
Las Vegas Baby! then a week stay at the Wrigley Mansion on the island of Catalina. We had SO much fun!
|
|
|
Post by debmast on May 4, 2016 15:30:47 GMT
We got engaged on July 19th. Got married on August 9th (no, I wasn't pregnant - which is always the first question). 10 days later he left for a year in Korea (stationed on DMZ) and I stayed back home with my folks.
We had known each other 9 months, dated for 6 and had never lived in the same state while we were dating. I had just turned 21 in June and he was 20.
We had a very small church wedding, went away for the weekend, and returned for a casual family & friends reception/celebration at a VFW hall.
Not much planning was involved.
We'll celebrate our 31st anniversary in August. And I'd do it all over again the same way.
|
|
|
Post by maryland on May 4, 2016 15:51:15 GMT
We had a very small wedding! We were 26 and 28 so we didn't want our parents to have to pay for a wedding. My parents paid for my college and law school, and his parents paid for his college, so we were debt free and wanted to save for a house and kids instead of a wedding. We got married in our church and went on a dinner cruise. We only had our parents, siblings, grandparents and 2 best friends. It was wonderful! No arguments and everyone had a great time! We got married out of state where we live so they had to travel and stay with us.
|
|
|
Post by femalebusiness on May 4, 2016 17:16:59 GMT
Vegas Baby! Loved my wedding. Both sets of parents and all of the siblings on both sides were there. We got married then went out and partied.
|
|
|
Post by cath4k on May 4, 2016 17:17:12 GMT
I was married in an LDS temple. Only temple recomend holders were allowed. I think the biggest room could only fit 50 people. The ceremony is the exact same for anyone that gets married. You have to repeat vows. It was overwhelming because it's so "sacred" you're basically told NOTHING of what will be going on. It is very vague information. It was especially a very anxious time since I'd only taken out my endowments (whole other story) the day before. My brother lied to me about one part of the ceremony and I was laughed at for my naivety because I believed him. I was humiliated in the temple, the house of the Lord. It was the worst decision of my life. I wore weird underwear for way too long. The only plus was that it was a gorgeous building. I'm sorry. That sounds awful.
|
|
|
Post by cath4k on May 4, 2016 17:34:40 GMT
For those of us who were married in the 90's or earlier, I find the cost of our weddings amazing compared to what they cost now. What some of you describe could never be pulled off for that amount of money now (even accounting for inflation.)
|
|
|
Post by scrapsotime on May 4, 2016 17:44:21 GMT
Small and casual. It was 1985. We got married in my parents house with just immediate family, but that was still about 30 people ( I have four siblings - dh has 8). I wouldn't change a thing. The wedding wasn't important to us. Being married was and we are still together over 30 years later. And yes, I am 8 months pregnant in that picture.
|
|
|
Post by birukitty on May 4, 2016 19:03:31 GMT
We got married in Jamaica on the beach. It was just the two of us. It was my second wedding and DH's parents had already passed. He wasn't really close to his two siblings and so this was perfect for us. My parents babysat my 4 year old son for one week. DH and I booked a resort in Jamaica that included weddings for free. We were very lucky because even though it was free they did an amazing, beautiful job and everything was perfect. I am a former wedding photographer and met DH when he was working at the pro camera shop in Washington DC where I'd go to rent my back-up equipment whenever I'd shoot a wedding. Because of this we decided to do our own wedding photos. I posed him and took his photos. He took my photos, and we set the camera up on a tripod (this was 21 years ago, back in the film days way before I phones) on a device that tripped the shutter every few seconds and I posed the both of us, or it took photos during the ceremony, cake cutting and first dance. After our wedding we honeymooned at the resort for the rest of the week. I don't think I'd do it any differently except I think I'd choose a different island. Maybe Hawaii. Although we haven't been yet. Debbie in MD.
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on May 4, 2016 19:12:32 GMT
First wedding: I was 20 and the 5th daughter to get married, so I knew what kind of wedding my family would provide. It was in the time when (at least in my community) everyone had punch and cake reception. Probably 100 came (our family is large). I selected colors, wore the dress my sister had worn for her wedding 5 months earlier. All was good.
Second wedding: We planned to have minister marry us with just parents in attendance. My mother invited all my siblings so we had about 30 relatives and perhaps 10 friends. I'll skip some crazy details but it was a punch and cake reception. We paid for everything, of course.
|
|
|
Post by Lindarina on May 4, 2016 19:32:51 GMT
Small, personal, and So much fun! It was a church wedding with the white wedding dress and father and bride walking down the isle , but the formalities stopped there Our menu was a creol buffet, the speeches over by 9 o'clock and the music mostly rock. About 50 guests, and we were in total control of the guest list. I'm pretty laid back and my life philosophy is that it's the imperfections that make the best memories. My two year old daughter spent the whole ceremony on my lap trying to eat her ( non toxic) bouquet
|
|
|
Post by Linda on May 4, 2016 19:42:18 GMT
we eloped to the local courthouse - invited one of his brothers and his mum to come as witnesses - our oldest was the 'flower-boy' and the JP had him sign as a third witness (he was almost 8). Went out to lunch and home for cake (a round one from Winn Dixie - I worked there and the girls in the bakery did a lovely job because they knew it was for me). Had to call my mum from a payphone to tell her I was married because the grader cut our phone lines (underground) grading our (dirt) road. I wore a cream dress I already owned, he wore a suit he already owned, we 'exchanged' rings that we already owned (his was a graduation gift from his mum, mine was a 21st birthday gift from mine). I think it cost us $200 in all between license, cake, flowers, and lunch. No honeymoon - we couldn't afford it and I didn't have the time off available from work anyway - I had worked that overnight/morning (midnight-9am) and worked the following one as well.
We convalidated our marriage 5 years later in the Church (Catholic) - a few more people were invited...my mum, my best friend, the friend from church that was his witness and his family (wife +3 kids) and our two children. We didn't have a Mass, just a ceremony but it was very nice. Then cake and punch back at the house. This time the cake came from a local bakery but it still wasn't a traditional wedding cake. I wore a silver dress. Again we spent about $200 ($100 on the dress) not counting the money he spent to upgrade HIS ring...he got a nice ring that matched mine (claddagh) - I've never told him but for the longest time, I was hurt that he chose to buy himself a new ring and not me - he meant it as a nice gesture for us to have matching rings and surprised me at the ceremony...I've never gotten a ring (engagement or wedding) and the ring I wore for both ceremonies no longer fits so I don't wear it either.
|
|
|
Post by cath4k on May 4, 2016 20:38:47 GMT
we eloped to the local courthouse - invited one of his brothers and his mum to come as witnesses - our oldest was the 'flower-boy' and the JP had him sign as a third witness (he was almost 8). Went out to lunch and home for cake (a round one from Winn Dixie - I worked there and the girls in the bakery did a lovely job because they knew it was for me). Had to call my mum from a payphone to tell her I was married because the grader cut our phone lines (underground) grading our (dirt) road. I wore a cream dress I already owned, he wore a suit he already owned, we 'exchanged' rings that we already owned (his was a graduation gift from his mum, mine was a 21st birthday gift from mine). I think it cost us $200 in all between license, cake, flowers, and lunch. No honeymoon - we couldn't afford it and I didn't have the time off available from work anyway - I had worked that overnight/morning (midnight-9am) and worked the following one as well. We convalidated our marriage 5 years later in the Church (Catholic) - a few more people were invited...my mum, my best friend, the friend from church that was his witness and his family (wife +3 kids) and our two children. We didn't have a Mass, just a ceremony but it was very nice. Then cake and punch back at the house. This time the cake came from a local bakery but it still wasn't a traditional wedding cake. I wore a silver dress. Again we spent about $200 ($100 on the dress) not counting the money he spent to upgrade HIS ring... he got a nice ring that matched mine (claddagh) - I've never told him but for the longest time, I was hurt that he chose to buy himself a new ring and not me - he meant it as a nice gesture for us to have matching rings and surprised me at the ceremony...I've never gotten a ring (engagement or wedding) and the ring I wore for both ceremonies no longer fits so I don't wear it either.
You need to let your man know that you would love to be surprised by a nice ring at some point!
|
|