motherlemur
Junior Member
Posts: 98
Jul 20, 2014 14:35:45 GMT
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Post by motherlemur on May 3, 2016 20:45:42 GMT
Hello again... Not sure if anyone remembers from before, but I asked about on-line schools for my daughter about a year ago. She is now a Junior with about a month and a half left of school and struggling. She's been out of school sick the last week and a half and stressing about everything. I know it's not a good time to decide on anything when she's not feeling well but this has been an on- going thing.
My daughter is 17 and has dealt with anxiety most of her life. It got bad when she hit middle school and worse when she hit high school. Every day is a challenge to get her to school. She has missed a lot of days. She sees a great therapist who she lives and sees a psychiatrist. She has tried several meds but nothing helps and some have even hurt so she has missed days due to meds changes.
ANYHOW.... just wanted to give some background..
Doing on-line schooling for her senior year has come up again. I know nothing about it. I just requested info from one place for our state - MA. Her bff is graduating this year and she has been the one who helped her get through the day. She is completely stressed out about getting through next year. Right now I am concerned about the mental state of my daughter. She gets herself so worked up and so emotional and things just get worse. I am really at a loss of what to do for her.
Any help or experience with online schooling would help.
TIA
Jill
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Post by Patter on May 3, 2016 20:51:58 GMT
My girls did online school through their entire high school years. They loved it, I loved it, and it really prepared them for college. They did The Morning Star Academy. They all got scholarships into college, and will now be seniors in college this Fall. Is this something she wants to do?
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motherlemur
Junior Member
Posts: 98
Jul 20, 2014 14:35:45 GMT
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Post by motherlemur on May 3, 2016 21:06:12 GMT
She believes that's what she wants to do. My worry is that it's an "easy" way out. Do we give in to what she wants or do we force her to do what we want her to do - finish high school at her public school. If we let her do on-line are we keeping her down or helping? This is a kid who does no outside activities, no school groups, can't hold a job since she can't complete her school work even without one, got her permit but not her license after all her friends have theirs. If we keep giving into her are we helping or hurting? But it breaks my heart to see her when she's so upset. I have a bit of social anxiety but it doesn't stop me from doing things. Hers seems to be crippling at times. She does have friends but has lost others due in part to canceling plans at the last minute because she was anxious. Before friends drive we would have to pick her up at their houses because she was anxious about staying over. She has done things but the anxiety comes back. I am really at a loss on how to help her.
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Post by Patter on May 3, 2016 21:38:39 GMT
If she has an anxiety issue that is crippling her, forcing her into it doesn't help IMO. It could actually make it worse I think. What does her therapist say? I would definitely get the therapist involved and see what they think. What does she enjoy, and is there something that helps her thrive?
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,969
Jan 4, 2015 1:47:52 GMT
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Post by AnotherPea on May 3, 2016 21:47:25 GMT
In my experience, online classes *are the easy way out. They do not offer much rigor at all. But, they are better than nothing, so if your child is choosing online versus dropping out due to anxiety, then online is the way to go.
A couple of examples - at my former school the teacher next door to me "taught" an online class. It was through our state's department of education and she had students from all around the state in her online class. She never taught the class before, had never taken a college or even high school course in the subject. She knew nothing about the material. But since her role as an online teacher was more of a moderator/facilitator, she did not need to know anything. The students took online tests (set up so they could use their notes) and completed projects. The projects were graded according to a rubric that was so general that a teacher like my colleague, who knew nothing about the topics, could grade them.
I currently have four students whose parents frequently email me about their grades. The parents do not understand how their kids could have C's when they got A's in the online pre-requisite last year. I don't have an answer because I don't understand how the system can do that either.
I had one student last year, a freshman, that was taking an online AP course. She was barely passing my class yet had a high A in the AP class.
Some kids are going to be academically successful no matter what. They'll get an A in every class. Having them take easy online classes won't set them back much because they can rise to any challenge down the road. Some kids really need a strong foundation in classes to be prepared for the next level. If you believe your daughter can be successful in college regardless of her courses next year, I say go for what will cause the least amount of anxiety.
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motherlemur
Junior Member
Posts: 98
Jul 20, 2014 14:35:45 GMT
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Post by motherlemur on May 3, 2016 21:56:31 GMT
She's very talented in art and writing. Has wanted to go to college for art therapy. Honestly, at this stage I can't see her going off to school. We have a small college in the next town over and I suggested she go there a year or two to get some core classes completed. She would get part of the experience of college but be a commuter. (She wants to go to school in Boston, an hour a way and live on campus)
With her anxiety I am not sure which would help her better - making her do something out of her comfort zone - or do something that would "rescue" her. My heart wants to protect her, but my head is afraid that if I always rescue her she won't learn how to get through tough things in life.
She has discussed this with her therapist and will again next week. Right now I wish she would feel better (diagnosed with bronchitis) and that her new meds from last week would help her calm down. When she's so upset then everything is awful and she projects into the future and being a failure. I tell her over and over that she doesn't have to plan her whole life at 17....
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Post by Patter on May 3, 2016 22:32:49 GMT
In my experience, online classes *are the easy way out. They do not offer much rigor at all. But, they are better than nothing, so if your child is choosing online versus dropping out due to anxiety, then online is the way to go. I totally disagree. As a parent that had her kids in public school through 7th grade and then homeschooled 8th and started online school with my girls in the 9th grade, online classes are not the easy way out at all. There are many, many different programs. Some kids learn better in different environments. My girls learned better at home instead of being taught to pass the state test. My girls were always on the honor roll in public school and the same for online school. Their classes were difficult, and they have thrived in college getting degrees in chemistry and forensic science and biology and computer science. Both are on the honor roll and will graduate next May. It's not that they are just always academically successful. They have had to work hard for their grades. They were completely prepared for college whereas a lot of their friends that graduated with honors from public school were not and are barely passing. Several have dropped out of college. There are pros and cons of both sides. One is not better than the other they are just different, and you have to find what works best for your child.
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Post by chaosisapony on May 3, 2016 23:35:28 GMT
I think there are a lot of variables including the student and what specific online school you go with. For example I have one niece doing online high school that is on track to graduate at 16 and already has a college scholarship in place.
Another niece stays home without supervision doing the online high school every day. Her days are spent smoking pot and having sex with her boyfriend. She likes the online school because it's "easy" and she doesn't have to get out of her pajamas.
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Post by gracieplusthree on May 4, 2016 0:16:42 GMT
My daughter actually works in enrollment for online schools.. I just messaged her and they do enrollment for Massachusetts Virtual Academy, you can call 866-968-7512 and get more info. Her name is Julie,but there's no way for you to request her or anything just depends on who answers, . I texted her and asked if MA was one of the states that has free online schooling and she said yes. btw I hope my posting that above info is ok, I don't benefit from it at all just passing along info btw whoever above said that it was a *way out* is just wrong, these schools are as hard as you want them to be with honors classes and AP classes.. slackers are slackers either way.
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Post by cmpeter on May 4, 2016 0:34:45 GMT
I don't have experience with online classes, but I do have a teen daughter who suffers from anxiety. Have you looked into getting her an IEP at school? We started one this year for dd. She'll have anxiety attacks in class. When that happens she needs to leave her class and go to the counselor's office as it's a safe place for her to cry, freak out, calm down...whatever she needs. She was struggling with how to leave class in a non-disruptive way and without getting grilled by her teacher at a time when she could barely hold back the tears. With her IEP, she can just get up and leave. The counselor then emails the teacher to confirm she came to her office. It does help that she has a great relationship with her counselor and is comfortable talking to her. On occasion they decide together that her anxiety is too severe and I should come pick her up.
Not sure what medications you have tried...we have been through a few. She's currently taking Ambilify and having good luck with that.
I understand the struggle you have trying to decide if you should push her or not. It feels like a delicate balance between being supportive and enabling. It's helpful to remember that it's a medical condition. Forcing her won't cure the illness, it's more likely to have the opposite affect.
Good luck momma, it's really hard to watch your child struggle.
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Post by shamrockpea on May 4, 2016 0:59:25 GMT
I taught online high school (as well as I teach full time gen ed) and have had my daughter take 2 online classes. Online high school failure rates are quite high especially when a district has them outsourced to "big" schools with out of area teachers. In my daughter's case, PE was handled by a local teacher and it was just fine and a good way for her to avoid her anxiety about undressing in front of other girls which I personally think should be outlawed.
I taught Algebra, Geometry and Advanced Algebra online and can tell you that if there was no local teacher and I did not have the freedom to amend the online course so it mirrored the content and amount of work required in the regular classroom, everyone would have failed. Some crazy person puts together a ridiculous amount of work and them farms it out to schools as a package. Awful! Even then, at least one third of the students have a very hard time self motivating.
Failure rates in large online schools such as K12 are over 50% but they try to bury it.
My daughter took sophomore English through her district/"K12" and the amount of work required was easily over 300 hours where a regular semester class would be closer to 120 total hours (90 classroom + 30 homework). She has taken English before and since and each course might have 2-4 smaller essays and 2-3 big essays. This one had 20 long writing assignment and projects. Each "assignment" had 4 document that needed to be read to understand the assignment. (From the lesson, a detailed rubric, a sample with comments, and a 2 page description). It was crazy! I also think some of the online classes make it too easy to get a D/C but extremely difficult to get and A. Also the tests and quizzed were very poorly written and contradicted each other.
I would not let my daughter take online school full time for sure unless she was one of those extremely rare highly motivated students.
Since I teach high school I have multiple English teachers around me and they were aghast when I showed them the workload.
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Post by shamrockpea on May 4, 2016 1:05:29 GMT
Do you have a running start option. My daughter started at her local community college this winter as junior and loves it! Also, each quarter of 15 credits counts as a full semester of high school, so your daughter could make up some serious credits. Also, instead of being in school for 30-35 hours (7:30-2 5 days a week) each community college class usually meets for 4-5 hours and there are 3 of tem in my daughter's case. She is sooooooo happy and loves it. peamail me if you would like to talk as we have gone through some of the same issues and I would be happy to share a shoulder!
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 4, 2016 4:37:05 GMT
My BFF's daughter went to public school for 9th and 10th, but hated all of the cliques and social BS involved so she did the online option for 11th and 12th. She loved it. I believe she also took advantage of dual credit community college classes during that time and knocked out quite a few college prerequisites so it definitely wasn't an easy way out. This girl is very smart and very self motivated so it was no surprise that she did well with that kind of a system. The experience set her up to do well in college where students have to be self motivated.
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Post by refugeepea on May 4, 2016 5:15:24 GMT
There are pros and cons of both sides. One is not better than the other they are just different, and you have to find what works best for your child. My daughter is at a charter high school. Kids do online classes in a classroom. Depending on the child, they may do it full time at the school or part time. It works awesome for my daughter who needs structure, so she's there all day. Great for other kids to do part time if they are really motivated, have a few credits left to graduate, have medical issues, or are attending the local applied technology center as well. My daughter (Autism) was increasingly becoming overwhelmed with the noise, the bullies, and the constant changing of routines in Middle School. There have been issues, but overall it's been better she stays in the same class each day and there are very few students.
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Post by anxiousmom on May 4, 2016 14:21:58 GMT
Florida has changed the rules for graduation recently and it now includes a requirement for taking at least one on line class through the state's on-line school system. There is no cost to the family as it is consider an alternative to public school. From what I have seen, the classes are like any other-with good and bad teachers, easy and difficult assignments, etc.
I think the key is finding the 'school' that works for your child and that it is fully accredited.
I would also encourage you to consider looking into college courses at the local community college. In my state the costs (including books and fees) are completely covered by the state and the kids come out with college course work as well as credit towards high school. My son will graduate from high school with all of his basic course work completed. His girlfriend is only a couple of classes shy of her AA. Our local CC has an actual dual enrollment high school affiliated with it-students go into it as juniors in high school and graduate with both their high school degree and an AA.
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Post by gryroagain on May 4, 2016 14:41:47 GMT
My kids are both high schoolers now (wow, that is weird) and have had a combination of just home schooled, online, college and public school classes. We have always used Keystone for the high school online classes, though there are many options. My oldest took classes at a public high school in Northern Virignia, top rated district, and was disappointed by the lack of rigor compared to her online and home schooled classes. Assignment grades tossed out if most of the class did poorly, etc. She felt grades were inflated at the schools, but not in her online classes- you did all the work, point blank, or you didnt pass. I don't think they are substandard at all. (I do think they are boring, as does DD, but she only took online classes for things I did not want to teach because I don't enjoy them, and she is very much like me so she also did not enjoy them!).
High school isnt the real world. If she doesn't do well in that environment, it does not mean she will fail at life- life is t like high school! Perhaps empowering her to make a different choice to reach her goals (graduation) is how you can view it, instead of running away from her problems. She is t running away, maybe she is running TO. (this is just my late night opinion, and I do t know you or your situation, of course).
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 4, 2016 14:51:22 GMT
My kids are both high schoolers now (wow, that is weird) and have had a combination of just home schooled, online, college and public school classes. We have always used Keystone for the high school online classes, though there are many options. My oldest took classes at a public high school in Northern Virignia, top rated district, and was disappointed by the lack of rigor compared to her online and home schooled classes. Assignment grades tossed out if most of the class did poorly, etc. She felt grades were inflated at the schools, but not in her online classes- you did all the work, point blank, or you didnt pass. I don't think they are substandard at all. (I do think they are boring, as does DD, but she only took online classes for things I did not want to teach because I don't enjoy them, and she is very much like me so she also did not enjoy them!). High school isnt the real world. If she doesn't do well in that environment, it does not mean she will fail at life- life is t like high school! Perhaps empowering her to make a different choice to reach her goals (graduation) is how you can view it, instead of running away from her problems. She is t running away, maybe she is running TO. (this is just my late night opinion, and I do t know you or your situation, of course). This was my BFF's kid's situation. She did well in school, wasn't bullied or anything, but she was pretty introverted and was just so over all of the typical high school drama and wanted to just get DONE so she could move on. It worked for their family under those circumstances. I was a lot like that in high school too and I *SO* wish I would have had that opportunity.
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