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Post by dewryce on May 9, 2016 0:12:20 GMT
My DH, 44, has a lifelong goal of competing in an Ironman race. He ran his first marathon at 30 and since then has done more marathons, long distance bike races, and a couple of small triathlons. None of them recently, and he has had some injuries and gained quite a bit of weight. I am so excited because his injuries have healed and he finally took my suggestion and got a coach!!!
I want to do everything I can to support him and to help him. I know I have been with him through training before, but so much of what he was able to accomplish was sheer willpower and not always great training practices. He's older now so he can only will his body to do so much if he doesn't prepare it for the race. Here are some of our issues and my thoughts, I would really appreciate advice about ANY aspects of this whole process. Am Doing & Planning To Do- Financially I am prepared and more than happy to do this. That is one of his big concerns and one of the reasons why he didn't want a coach to begin with. But I finally showed him where we could save money not eating/snacking out like we were. And more importantly, the impact it would have on his health. That would help us financially too. The races have entry fees and travel costs and we decided that we would use these as our vacations.
- I know that his training will take a lot of time every week, and that we will need to consider not only working those hours into our schedule but thinking about what we do before long training sessions so as not to deplete his energy.
- This will sound crazy to some, but something I have found recently that really motivates him...a form of coercion. His willpower and motivation isn't where it needs to be, and more importantly not where he wants it due to a couple of different reasons. I have some major health issues, weight being one of them. So if he doesn't feel like eating healthy for dinner or wants to grab a snack he knows he shouldn't I tell him that's fine, to get the same thing for me. I asked him about it and he is more than onboard with that kind of "help" because it goes both ways. If I don't want to eat healthy, he won't either. Basically, we worry about the others' health more than our own so this works. In the past couple of weeks we have shared one Dr. Pepper, and we got the smaller can instead of the bottle. Will monitor closely but so far is working well.
- When he needs gear I do a lot of initial research, talk to him about my findings to narrow it down, and then find great deals and places for him to try things.
- Reading and learning about triathlons and training, and will be taking a couple of online courses with him so that I really understand what needs to happen and what he is going through
- When DH met with him the first time he came out and said that he had no problems calling the spouse LOL. I am planning on going to a session on Tuesday with them to meet him and ask him what I can do
GUH, can't fix formatting.
Concerns
- I have fibro, psoriatic arthritis and back issues among others so physically I can't do much. He does our cooking and we are working towards a lot of food prep so he has more time during the week. Ideally in time I will be able to help a lot more with this but right now it is a lot on his plate so any ways of streamlining would be great.
- What should I NOT do? What demotivated you from friends and family?
- I don't know enough to know the real questions I should be asking what am I missing?
Basically, please give it to me straight. Please share your experiences, what has worked for you, what hasn't. What your family and friends have done to help, hinder. Must have gear. Anything would be appreciated!
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melissa
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,912 
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Post by melissa on May 9, 2016 1:51:49 GMT
Wow! Kudos to you and your spouse! My dh does marathons. Hasn't done one in a while but is planning one this year. He's 52. He knows what he needs to do and does it most of the time. He researches and chooses his own gear, etc. I have no role in that at all. He also does the cooking and food shopping, so I am not involved with that either. All I do is cheer him on.  In the past, when he was having some issues with cramping around a certain mile, I did devise a program of supplements and food to try to circumvent that. It included having me stationed at key points in the race to get him bananas. Lets just say the NYC marathon was not the most conducive place for that. LOL. Easy to catch him in Brooklyn and Queens. Much harder in Manhattan! I have a friend who does triathalons. She loves her training group. It's a large group of women who really motivate each other and train together. w |
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Post by beaglemom on May 9, 2016 2:21:31 GMT
Having a great coach is huge! A good coach will be providing him his workouts a week ahead a time. He'll have one, maybe two rest days a week, if he's lucky. Weekends will be 9-10 hours workouts - both days. The last full iron man dh did dd was 17 months old and I was pregnant with ds. I was ready to kill him art the end. He was working full time, then working out - so getting home late, rarely seeing dd. Then weekends he was gone working out most of the day both days. I told him no more fulls till our kids are all older. That said he did the race in Wales, it was fun getting to go over there and the run portion was spectator friendly. He does 2-5 half iron men a year. I would really recommend your dh start with one of those - or even a couple Olympic distance races first. They are still a huge accomplishment. I've done a half after each of my kids were born and I'm currently trying to figure out what race I'm going to do next year (ds3 is 6 weeks). Gear - find someone that specializes in fitting for tri bikes. A good person will evaluate his form and set him up on the bike that is best for his body type and size. They will also set the bike up down to the tri bar angles, seat height and angle, handle bar height and distance, and other stuff. Tri bars make a huge difference!!. Dh and I have found for us that we do much better with real food rather than the processed athlete food. We have loved the book Feed Zone Portables good diet will make a huge difference in training and performance. I know I'm missing stuff... Feel free to pm me! |
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on May 9, 2016 2:23:36 GMT
You are so very thoughtful and supportive.
I am far from what you'd call an endurance athlete but I train for marathons and am starting to train for a 50k. I don't need a whole lot in the area of support as I just train for fun without a lot of expectation. But my husband knows that I will be TIRED and to expect me to crawl into bed at 8PM some nights. For sleep.
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Post by jenjie on May 9, 2016 2:34:14 GMT
Wow you are so supportive! I'm sure your dh appreciates it. I don't know anything about this and I hate to sound like I'm pushing a product that is new to me. But if time cooking is a big deal you may want to consider a pressure cooker. Read up on some of the pressure cooker threads. I just got mine and haven't made a whole lot in it yet but it takes a fraction of the time in the pressure cooker. And it's very much set it and forget it. Just something to think about.
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Post by dewryce on May 9, 2016 2:39:09 GMT
He researches and chooses his own gear, etc. I have no role in that at all. He also does the cooking and food shopping, so I am not involved with that either. All I do is cheer him on. It included having me stationed at key points in the race to get him bananas. Lets just say the NYC marathon was not the most conducive place for that. LOL. Easy to catch him in Brooklyn and Queens. Much harder in Manhattan! I have a friend who does triathalons. She loves her training group.I am having serious formatting issues, I tried to separate 3 of your points. I don't work and we don't have children (yet!), and he has a lot of the physical responsibility at home right now so I offered to do things like research for him to save some time. He does the fun part and picks 'em out based on what I've found and what he wants. oh yes, his very first marathon was in NYC on his 30th birthday. His parents and grandparents came and we were running around trying to catch up with him at various points. It was crazy, I can't imagine trying to do that at points dictated by need rather than ease! i am hoping he will eventually feel confident enough to join a training group. Right now he's just getting back into it and feels old and out of shape. But Saturday he and his coach are going to be out where a lot of triathletes do their open water training so he will at least get some exposure. |
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Post by dewryce on May 9, 2016 2:54:25 GMT
The last full iron man dh did dd was 17 months old and I was pregnant with ds. I was ready to kill him art the end. He was working full time, then working out - so getting home late, rarely seeing dd. Then weekends he was gone working out most of the day both days. I told him no more fulls till our kids are all older. He does 2-5 half iron men a year. I would really recommend your dh start with one of those - or even a couple Olympic distance races first. They are still a huge accomplishment. I've done a half after each of my kids were born and I'm currently trying to figure out what race I'm going to do next year (ds3 is 6 weeks). Gear - find someone that specializes in fitting for tri bikes. We have loved the book Feed Zone Portables good diet will make a huge difference in training and performance. I know I'm missing stuff... Feel free to pm me! So...you don't suggest it while we are trying to have a child? LOL. Actually we are going through surrogacy right now and that's one of the reasons I'm glad he is getting back into this. Something to keep his mind busy through all of the ups and the many, many downs. I didn't realize I didn't specify, his A race goal this year is an Ironman 70.3 in Austin in October, and his coach will have him doing several sprints and at least on olympic before then. Then another half in the spring (hopefully Boulder) and the full Ironman in Phoenix in the fall. Go you, what an accomplishment! I walked a half marathon once and thought I would die. I didn't train much and had a blister the size of an egg on my foot. Can't even imagine a triathlon! Must be very hard with both of you training. He has had his bike professionally fitted and you're right, said it made a huge difference. We are doing the same with the food, with a modified Paleo for my inflammation and his diabetes. Will order that book tonight,mthank a for the recommendation! I also appreciate the offer of peamail, I will keep that in mind when I have specific questions |
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Post by dewryce on May 9, 2016 3:00:33 GMT
You are so very thoughtful and supportive. I am far from what you'd call an endurance athlete but I train for marathons and am starting to train for a 50k. I don't need a whole lot in the area of support as I just train for fun without a lot of expectation. But my husband knows that I will be TIRED and to expect me to crawl into bed at 8PM some nights. For sleep. LOL I'd call a marathon and 50K endurance level races and would argue until I was blue in the face with anyone who didn't think so! I remember one year my cousin was running her first marathon. After we cheered her start we went and had breakfast, relaxed around the hotel for a while, had a leisurely lunch and then went to find a place around the finish line. I just remember being gobsmacked that she was running the ENTIRE time! Yes, sleep. I have a feeling after getting into his training I won't have to argue with him about getting more sleep, it will just come naturally  Good luck with your 50K! |
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Post by dewryce on May 9, 2016 3:04:29 GMT
Wow you are so supportive! I'm sure your dh appreciates it. I don't know anything about this and I hate to sound like I'm pushing a product that is new to me. But if time cooking is a big deal you may want to consider a pressure cooker. Read up on some of the pressure cooker threads. I just got mine and haven't made a whole lot in it yet but it takes a fraction of the time in the pressure cooker. And it's very much set it and forget it. Just something to think about. No pushing, this is the kind of helpful info I need! Besides elaine is the pressure cooker enabler and has already worked her evil ways  But I came to a decision about which to purchase with her help and thought I had bookmarked the thread. But I can't find it there or in my history! So thank you for the reminder, I will peamail her so we can get this ordered and in use! |
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Post by elaine on May 9, 2016 3:33:35 GMT
I've sent my Instant Pot link!
I did a few half-marathons before my Graves started up again. I am close to being able to start up running again after my eyes heal from this surgery. Probably in another month.
For me, the biggest training issue was finding the time. Those long runs you need to get in once a week get longer and longer, and it was sometimes challenging when my husband didn't want me to be gone for 3.5 hours on a Sunday. So, I would add that if you could make it as easy as possible for him to spend those very long hours training, in addition to work, that would probably be very helpful.
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Post by dewryce on May 9, 2016 3:51:27 GMT
I've sent my Instant Pot link! I did a few half-marathons before my Graves started up again. I am close to being able to start up running again after my eyes heal from this surgery. Probably in another month. For me, the biggest training issue was finding the time. Those long runs you need to get in once a week get longer and longer, and it was sometimes challenging when my husband didn't want me to be gone for 3.5 hours on a Sunday. So, I would add that if you could make it as easy as possible for him to spend those very long hours training, in addition to work, that would probably be very helpful. Received and ordered thank you, thank you, thank you! I am sorry for the health issues that has kept you from running and hope you're able to get back to it soon. DH was out for quite a while with a clot that ran the entire length of his right leg. Said there was nothing more frustrating than having the drive to do it but your body telling you no. When he he first started training when we were much younger I found the long training run a lot more frustrating. But now, with all of the serious health issues we have had, and having our biggest life goal of having children so far remain out of reach, I can really understand better just how important this is for him. I'll be the one pulling up in the car giving him water and something to eat during his long training runs, his personal support crew. And if he doesn't feel like doing it I have a secret weapon. He has a couple of songs that are super motivating for him (Chariots of Fire and Eye of the Tiger) so I will play those! I have only had to do it once, when he was having a hard time sticking to his physical therapy for an injury so I pulled EOT up in the iPad and he smiled and got out of bed  I am not above following him around with the window rolled down playing his music! |
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Post by elaine on May 9, 2016 4:01:53 GMT
I've sent my Instant Pot link! I did a few half-marathons before my Graves started up again. I am close to being able to start up running again after my eyes heal from this surgery. Probably in another month. For me, the biggest training issue was finding the time. Those long runs you need to get in once a week get longer and longer, and it was sometimes challenging when my husband didn't want me to be gone for 3.5 hours on a Sunday. So, I would add that if you could make it as easy as possible for him to spend those very long hours training, in addition to work, that would probably be very helpful. Received and ordered thank you, thank you, thank you! I am sorry for the health issues that has kept you from running and hope you're able to get back to it soon. DH was out for quite a while with a clot that ran the entire length of his right leg. Said there was nothing more frustrating than having the drive to do it but your body telling you no. When he he first started training when we were much younger I found the long training run a lot more frustrating. But now, with all of the serious health issues we have had, and having our biggest life goal of having children so far remain out of reach, I can really understand better just how important this is for him. I'll be the one pulling up in the car giving him water and something to eat during his long training runs, his personal support crew. And if he doesn't feel like doing it I have a secret weapon. He has a couple of songs that are super motivating for him (Chariots of Fire and Eye of the Tiger) so I will play those! I have only had to do it once, when he was having a hard time sticking to his physical therapy for an injury so I pulled EOT up in the iPad and he smiled and got out of bed I am not above following him around with the window rolled down playing his music!  Since music is motivating for him, consider getting him a subscription to Rock My Run - it is an awesome app that has running mixes of all sorts of genres and eras. All the mixes are mixed by dj's, so they don't run the whole songs, usually only 2-3 minutes before it melds into another song. No blank air space. It is like running to your own soundtrack and since they have hundreds of mixes, he will never get bored! |
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Post by dewryce on May 12, 2016 0:21:50 GMT
Since music is motivating for him, consider getting him a subscription to Rock My Run - it is an awesome app that has running mixes of all sorts of genres and eras. All the mixes are mixed by dj's, so they don't run the whole songs, usually only 2-3 minutes before it melds into another song. No blank air space. It is like running to your own soundtrack and since they have hundreds of mixes, he will never get bored! Eta: I just remembered he has speakers for his bike, so he can use it on there also That sounds perfect, thank you for the suggestion! |
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,546
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Post by RosieKat on May 12, 2016 1:32:21 GMT
Just as an FYI - Austin in October can still be pretty dang hot. If we're lucky, we get our first "good" cool front at the end of the month, but for most of the month, we can still be hitting highs in the 90s and sometimes even 100s.
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In the past, when he was having some issues with cramping around a certain mile, I did devise a program of supplements and food to try to circumvent that. It included having me stationed at key points in the race to get him bananas. Lets just say the NYC marathon was not the most conducive place for that. LOL. Easy to catch him in Brooklyn and Queens. Much harder in Manhattan! 
But I came to a decision about which to purchase with her help and thought I had bookmarked the thread. But I can't find it there or in my history! So thank you for the reminder, I will peamail her so we can get this ordered and in use!
I am not above following him around with the window rolled down playing his music!
