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Post by pinkgreen on May 18, 2016 2:13:07 GMT
Girl drama has entered our lives. To compound issues, the other mom involved is way too involved, wanting to continue to stir the pot. It's so hard to try to guide your girl to not engage, but I do remember being that age. I wish I could make it better without responding to what is basically baiting. Sigh. Darned if I do, darned if I don't.
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Post by epeanymous on May 18, 2016 2:15:52 GMT
Hang in there. I have an eighth grader. We had girl drama last year (thankfully, this year has been placid) and it was made *that much worse* by some of the parents who were involved (or, really, egging their kids on). It sounds like you are doing a good job of guiding her to rise above it.
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Post by Really Red on May 18, 2016 2:19:00 GMT
I hate it! My girls are pretty much zero drama, but it was everywhere and it made them pretty bitter  about a lot of things. It makes me sad. Sorry you're going through it.
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Post by mom on May 18, 2016 2:19:32 GMT
Oh I am sorry! My mom always stayed out of my drama. And honestly? It was the best thing looking back.
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Post by kluski on May 18, 2016 2:19:55 GMT
Ughh...I'm so sorry.
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Post by pinkgreen on May 18, 2016 2:25:12 GMT
I am just afraid that the "rising above it" is about to end. The mom in the scenario has been talking about her to other parents, even to other girls. My girl is about to snap - she really wants to confront the mom herself. Not a good idea, I know! It's so hard to balance standing up for yourself with rising above. It's a fine line. So glad her relationships with everyone else are not influenced.
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Post by nepean on May 18, 2016 2:32:47 GMT
Urgh...I am sorry you are facing this. My DD is 8th grade also, and socially it has been an awful year! I feel your pain
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on May 18, 2016 2:39:30 GMT
Ugh - I'm sorry you're dd is going through this.
My dd is in grade 5 and I've seen it start with some kids. I'm petrified.
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Post by Merge on May 18, 2016 2:49:54 GMT
As the mom of a 7th grader and 9th grader, I agree! Not looking forward to having one in 8th grade again next year. We've already had some drama in 7th grade.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 19:53:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2016 3:08:44 GMT
My ds has had a rotten 8th grade year. A kid he's known since elementary school decided to bully him and my son tried for 6 weeks to handle it by himself. He was becoming more and more withdrawn and sad. It got to the point we we're looking for a therapist for him. DS finally let us know what was going on. I had to call the school and get them involved so far the bully has backed off and our son getting back to being his normal happy go lucky self.
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Post by pinkgreen on May 18, 2016 3:13:25 GMT
School is aware. Unfortunately, with cell phones, the world is a different place. When I was her age, I could go home and ignore. No longer so. School is out in two days, so at least there's that.
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Post by 950nancy on May 18, 2016 3:27:44 GMT
I raised two boys, but saw drama with girls in the classroom. My sons would say the most appealing quality in a girl was that she didn't get involved in drama. I think most guys hate it. Good luck to your daughter. It is hard enough to stay out of it let alone have someone dragging you into it. That whole "will this even matter to you in a year" is always a good thing to remind your child.
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Post by partridgeinapeartree on May 18, 2016 3:47:55 GMT
I find mothers to be worse than the girls most of the time. My best advice: be a listening ear; encourage taking the high road, express a lot of love! So sorry you are dealing with such troubles.
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Post by gryroagain on May 18, 2016 7:52:44 GMT
Oh gosh, it does! That was last year for DD, and she had such a mean girl picking on her. And her mom was so super pushy and involved, I wanted to scream. Her daughter was 2 years older, too, so to be that involved with your daughters social life at 15-16 is just super weird. I got a completely serious text asking why DD did not invite everyone in the class to her birthday and excluded her daughter- after we had stopped a carpool with them months previously and the girls were clearly NOT friends, mind you. And DD was turning 14- these kids were not 4! It was crazy- her DD was nearly 16, the instigator, and anyway we can invite whoever we damn want, or not! Book length texts, talking to other kids and parents, just so much drama from this mom. One of my friends whose DD also had a problem with this girl DID engage though, and it was awful. So my advice is ignore the mom and stay the he'll out of it.
So, so glad we moved and that ended having to deal with them.
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Post by beachhappy22 on May 18, 2016 14:14:12 GMT
My ds has had a rotten 8th grade year. A kid he's known since elementary school decided to bully him and my son tried for 6 weeks to handle it by himself. He was becoming more and more withdrawn and sad. It got to the point we we're looking for a therapist for him. DS finally let us know what was going on. I had to call the school and get them involved so far the bully has backed off and our son getting back to being his normal happy go lucky self. Similar story here but it is an 8th grader who has decided to bully my 7th grade DS. We got the teacher and principal involved as soon as he told us. He tried to handle it himself but it was escalating, the kid was knocking things out of his hands, swearing at him, saying degrading remarks to my DS. The teacher downplayed the whole thing which sent us to the principal and it was addressed. My DS is a quiet and laid back kid so an easy target for a bully. He had an issue last year as well with a different kid. I hate this!! DS is such a loving and happy kid.
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Post by gypsymama on May 18, 2016 14:42:02 GMT
Eighth grade mom here, omg drama daily!!
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Dalai Mama
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Post by Dalai Mama on May 18, 2016 14:52:26 GMT
I am just afraid that the "rising above it" is about to end. The mom in the scenario has been talking about her to other parents, even to other girls. My girl is about to snap - she really wants to confront the mom herself. Not a good idea, I know! It's so hard to balance standing up for yourself with rising above. It's a fine line. So glad her relationships with everyone else are not influenced. Why isn't it a good idea? Rising above doesn't mean ignoring. As long as your daughter can keep her emotions in check and not lower herself to the mother's level, confronting her might be exactly what's needed.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on May 18, 2016 16:02:25 GMT
I am just afraid that the "rising above it" is about to end. The mom in the scenario has been talking about her to other parents, even to other girls. My girl is about to snap - she really wants to confront the mom herself. Not a good idea, I know! It's so hard to balance standing up for yourself with rising above. It's a fine line. So glad her relationships with everyone else are not influenced. Why isn't it a good idea? Rising above doesn't mean ignoring. As long as your daughter can keep her emotions in check and not lower herself to the mother's level, confronting her might be exactly what's needed. ^^^ I was going to ask the same thing myself. When a tween knows good behavior better than someone else's MOM, why isn't it okay to confront the mother and actually call her out for her bad behavior?? As long as it's handled in a civil manner by your daughter??
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Post by salem on May 18, 2016 16:03:20 GMT
I am just afraid that the "rising above it" is about to end. The mom in the scenario has been talking about her to other parents, even to other girls. My girl is about to snap - she really wants to confront the mom herself. Not a good idea, I know! It's so hard to balance standing up for yourself with rising above. It's a fine line. So glad her relationships with everyone else are not influenced. Why isn't it a good idea? Rising above doesn't mean ignoring. As long as your daughter can keep her emotions in check and not lower herself to the mother's level, confronting her might be exactly what's needed. I agree. Let her go at her. Why should she take any crap from a grown woman? Let your DD call her on it. I would think it's a great lesson in standing up for herself and not letting mean girls or their freak over involved Mommies win. I'm always amazed at how some adults never seem to mature past middle school and get involved in their kids drama. Good luck to your DD. I have an 8th grader too. I get it.
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The Birdhouse Lady
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on May 18, 2016 18:54:02 GMT
I find mothers to be worse than the girls most of the time. Unfortunately I have to agree with this.
My daughter was involved in some drama in the 7th grade. The others girls mother was the worst. Here we are three years later and I just recently caught wind that this mother is bring this drama up again. Unbelievable!
I feel your pain, just be happy school is almost out.
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Post by refugeepea on May 18, 2016 19:01:07 GMT
My daughter had more issues with boy bullies than girls in the 8th grade. One was so relentless with her and others that he was suspended. There were 2 other students who went to the administration to tell them what he was doing to my daughter.
Now 6th grade? It sucked. I specifically requested she not have 2 kids in any of her classes for her 7th grade year. One girl was so bold she made fun of my daughter *in front of me*. We were at a stop light, in our van and she was on the sidewalk. She started pointing and laughing.
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Post by refugeepea on May 18, 2016 19:03:42 GMT
Unfortunately I have to agree with this.
My daughter was involved in some drama in the 7th grade. The others girls mother was the worst. Here we are three years later and I just recently caught wind that this mother is bring this drama up again. Unbelievable! That is so sad! My sister has a neighbor who stirs up drama because nobody likes her daughter. They never include her. The reason why she isn't asked to do things as often anymore? The KIDS can't stand her mother! They don't like what she says about them and their own moms. I told my sister to flat out tell her the issue is with YOU!
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Post by pinkgreen on May 18, 2016 21:38:24 GMT
Thanks for all of the encouragement. She made it through another day! Tomorrow is the last day of school, so daily interaction will end for a while. She and another girl had a great visit with the principal and now dd feels better. She has her "speech" ready if the mom tries to interact with her, as the mom actually did grill the other girl about dd. So ready for this season to pass!
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Post by mags243 on May 18, 2016 21:42:16 GMT
So sorry you're dealing with this! My twin boys are in 7th grade, and are switching schools because of bullying. One particular boy targeted my one son and the school did nothing about it. We dealt with this the last half of last year and all of this year. Once the bully and his friends found out the twins were leaving it got much worse for both of them. It's a horrible situation, and I'm just heartsick over the whole thing.
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Post by pinkgreen on May 18, 2016 23:18:04 GMT
So sorry about your twins! Here's to hoping HS is better than MS.
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Post by Delta Dawn on May 18, 2016 23:22:43 GMT
There was girl drama at my son's school in Grade 8, too. The mother came to me asking about this one girl in the class. I liked her but she was the "ring leader". The girl who was on the receiving end I loved. I am not sure why the mother came to me. I have a boy so I don't know girl drama these days. I am sure it is different from when we were kids.
The ring leader is a lovely girl now. She comes from nice people and she has turned out really well. (I am secretly hoping DS will decide he likes her as she is just so wonderful). The receiving end girl turned out lovely, too. I really liked her and her family. (They ended up leaving the school part way through the year which I thought was too bad).
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tincin
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Post by tincin on May 19, 2016 0:58:09 GMT
pinkgreen I will hold your earrings if you'd like to have a little talk with the mom.
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