Are you less mad when your kids fess to wrongdoing up front?

I will always give a more lenient punishment to a kid who fesses up and takes responsibility than one that tries to lie and hide about something wrong they did. I will punish the lying and the original offense if I need to but come to me and say you messed up and you're sorry and we will find an appropriate consequence but it won't be near as bad as if you try to bs me.

 Some things are just kids being stupid (or accidental) but lying is intentional. Lying is definitely the worse offense.

Yes. DS is an only child and STILL won't cop to stuff we know the dog or cat can't possibly have done, not having opposable thumbs and all. It drives me nuts.

Lying sends me over the roof (and intentionally leaving out information falls into the lying as well).

Of course.

Yep, and at school, too. Nothing irritates me more than a kid who stands there and insists that he was not doing the thing that I just stood there and watched him do. The smarter kids in my class (and in my house) learn pretty quickly that the best way to avoid trouble is to own up, say sorry and stop doing whatever it was.

Yes.

Doing dumb shit is just part of the learning of life.

Lying is a character flaw that I won't tolerate and makes me think less of a person.

Absolutely. Everyone makes mistakes (I was the queen of doing dumb shit). Owning our mistakes is a sign of maturity.

My girls always know, do something you shouldn't, there will most likely be punishment. Lie about it, and the punishment will increase!

Good kids do stupid things sometimes. It happens. But I agree with the person who said lying is intentional!

Yep.

I just spent a fortune on dance stuff for my daughter. I asked her to be VERY careful with the tights. As it would be nice for them to last for the 6 times she needed to wear them.

She wasn't. She took them off at a show because she was hot. ( I get that) But she was rushed putting them back on and now couldn't be worn for the dance recital.

When does she choose to share this nugget with me. THE NIGHT BEFORE THE DANCE recital dress rehearsal.

I was very annoyed. Not because she ripped them, but because she withheld this information, which meant a special run to the dance shop, on my lunch hour, and they cost almost twice as much as ordering on line.

Guess who paid for them!!

If she had told me when it happened I would have been annoyed, but now I was pissed!

I think handing over the $23 for the tights made her realize that it was not worth hiding from me.

now the question is how many pairs for two weeks of theatre camp??

...and just as a random check...never discount sitting down to dinner and asking 'is there something that you need to tell me?' with a cocked eyebrow and a questioning look...

(my poor gullible children fell for that one more often than they should have...)

I always told them if you lie, there will be twice as much punishment.

And even as "adults" I issued some punishment: Before I moved south, I cleaned out a lot of stuff. There is a church-run charity in a city about 30 min away that I routinely donated to. All the boys have been with me one time or another to donate; we found about it through their scout troop. They have met the nun who runs it. So, I ask two of my offspring (25 and 23) to bring these things to this donation center. I gave exact directions (they may not have driven there on their own before). That night at dinner, I asked how it went, did they get lost, etc. And I got a silent response. Then some hemming and hawing, followed by the "fine, why would ask" deflective response. Turns out they dumped the stuff in a donation box at Target rather than making the "long" drive. I was annoyed at the donation (those boxes mostly have the garments made into rags, and these clothes were still usable) but I was Livid at the lies - You lie to your mother about donating to a nun?? Guess who did the dishes, floors and whatever else I asked for for days? And I still get on them about it.

I still love them, even if they are going to hell for lying about a nun.

My DD got in trouble for telling a kid to butt out of her conversation while they were riding the bus home. He told his mother and my daughter got in trouble but totally fessed up that she wasn't very nice to him.

Thank God she did because since she didn't get into trouble, he then turned around and told his mother that she's been swearing on the bus. She denied doing it but has been punished anyway because the other mother raised such a stink. Great way to show her that it pays to tell the truth

I just liked to sit up there. I did it for years before they put in some kind of alarm that notified the police - oops. Luckily my 12 year old self just got a talking to- I'm not sure my parents ever knew.