paminmn
Shy Member
Posts: 24 
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Post by paminmn on May 20, 2016 5:22:07 GMT
Hi,
I thought the Peas had a list of things women should do before getting a divorce. I know you need an attorney but I thought there were other items to do. My friend is considering divorce and I want her to have all the information she needs. Thanks in advance for any information you can give me to forward to her.
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Post by mom on May 20, 2016 5:42:20 GMT
*gather all documents you can (SS, retirements plans, bank info, credit cards, etc) and make copies
*put items you want to safeguard with a trusted friend (photos, sentimental, etc)
*don't show your hand until you are ready to leave and not come back
*document, document, document
*again, make copies of all important papers (listing this again as its extremely important!)
*don't make threats that you aren't willing to do
*if violence is an option, get to a safe place then file for divorce
*no sharing of lawyers - it may be cheaper upfront, but in the long run you're gonna get screwed
*do not tell anyone anything unless you are absolutely certain they won't blab to your ex
*do not store the documentation (from above) on the same computer your ex has access to
*for good measure, pull a credit report so you know what bills are out there that you might not know about
*be careful what you say online (instagram, Facebook) - sometimes that can come back to bite you
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:35:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2016 6:58:38 GMT
Hi, I thought the Peas had a list of things women should do before getting a divorce. I know you need an attorney but I thought there were other items to do. My friend is considering divorce and I want her to have all the information she needs. Thanks in advance for any information you can give me to forward to her. list is great!. I would add to her advice: get a post office box. That way you can start diverting personal mail about your single life such as documents that have to be mailed from the lawyer's office to your personal mail can't get hijacked by the stbx (soon to be ex) Make print outs of all online statements. Do NOT trust the idea you can just log in and get information. If is very simple for stbx to go in, redirect an account to a different email or change the password and you no longer have access. |
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CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 4,063
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Post by CeeScraps on May 20, 2016 10:11:27 GMT
Just wondering....is there a spot on this site where a list could be created and it would remain in that spot.
All of this information is great. If there was a way to create I guess a thread that remained at the top. Then other peas could add to it when they thought of things or encountered something.
Just a thought......
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Post by gailoh on May 20, 2016 11:21:24 GMT
Yes we need a Master list so peas can go there for info...
If she had valuables, get them out a little at a time...take pictures of bigger items
Don't for get the pets, they are not a toy to be thrown away
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:35:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2016 12:06:45 GMT
In some ways a master list would be great. But, the need to ask questions brings people out of lurkdom that might never "speak up" if they didn't find a NEED to ask a question. This is s topic that tends to bring out new posters and they find out we don't bite  |
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Post by chirpingcricket on May 20, 2016 13:02:00 GMT
If she had valuables, get them out a little at a time...take pictures of bigger items Not if you live in Tennessee. Do not do anything to dissipate the marital estate if you live in Tennessee. These laws vary widely from state to state. Consult an attorney before you do anything. |
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Post by gailoh on May 20, 2016 13:28:36 GMT
Yes each state is different but if you have pictures or maybe a piece of jewellery that was past down you may want a bank box even...my ex destroyed pictures and back in my time they were gone forever,old school here...
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Post by mom on May 21, 2016 6:53:03 GMT
Yes each state is different but if you have pictures or maybe a piece of jewellery that was past down you may want a bank box even...my ex destroyed pictures and back in my time they were gone forever,old school here... I agree. My xDH broke all of my moms wedding china and the china I collected while living in Russia. Broke my heart and quite honestly, was the meanest most hateful thing he could have done. |
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Post by Hayjaker on May 21, 2016 16:56:19 GMT
In some ways a master list would be great. But, the need to ask questions brings people out of lurkdom that might never "speak up" if they didn't find a NEED to ask a question. This is s topic that tends to bring out new posters and they find out we don't bite I so agree with this! And through the question asking process a poster can receive invaluable support from a connection that is removed from the day-to-day situation. This can be a very safe place. |
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Post by *leslie* on May 21, 2016 18:53:06 GMT
Yes each state is different but if you have pictures or maybe a piece of jewellery that was past down you may want a bank box even...my ex destroyed pictures and back in my time they were gone forever,old school here... I agree. My xDH broke all of my moms wedding china and the china I collected while living in Russia. Broke my heart and quite honestly, was the meanest most hateful thing he could have done. That's awful. A friend of my husbands brought a few things over to our house to store for him after his wife filed for divorce. They were not valuable but items that were his mom's, so were sentimental. She didn't even notice they were gone but probably would've fought for them if they were there, as she was pretty vindictive throughout the divorce process. |
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MissChris
Full Member
Posts: 371
Jul 14, 2014 0:46:04 GMT
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Post by MissChris on May 21, 2016 21:37:33 GMT
Family law paralegal here. Before you do anything, like remove property, remove funds from a bank account, charge excessively on a credit card, TALK TO AN ATTORNEY! Your actions could seriously hurt your position on the disposition of assets and debts later on in the divorce. Also, don't automatically assume that you (general you) will stay in the house. You may very well have to leave and your stbx will remain in the house. So, before you may have to leave, go through the house, room by room, and prepare a property inventory list, listing anything and everything of value that will need to be divided in the divorce. Take a video as you go through each room, or take pictures. Like others have said, make copies of as many things as possible--tax returns, pay stubs for you and stbx, passports, SS cards, birth certificates, financial account statements, credit card statements, mortgage statements, car loans, car titles, etc. I second one of the other posters that said to get a current credit report. I see too many women come in to our office and they have no idea what they have (retirement accounts, investments, or even just general checking/savings accounts), what they owe, where they bank, or anything. Become informed before it's too late.
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