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Post by vspindler on May 24, 2016 22:05:53 GMT
My ds is just finishing his sophomore year of hs. He had kind of a meltdown this evening because he is stressing about growing up and having to have responsibilities. (His words.) He was pretty upset, crying and all. I know part of it is because finals are coming up and I am sure his sleep schedule (or lack thereof) doesn't help. But anybody have any wise words they want to share that might help me help him? I did ask if he would please go to bed a little earlier tonight since being tired can make anxiety worse (btdt!!!) but I was one of those kids who liked responsibility and such so I don't know how to approach this.
TIA!
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Post by Linda on May 24, 2016 22:09:43 GMT
(((Hugs))) my dd is also finishing up sophomore year and we've had similar meltdowns this year - I've found that a hug, some chocolate and a good night's sleep seem to help
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AnotherPea
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Post by AnotherPea on May 24, 2016 22:21:54 GMT
 . No advice but I am sympathetic. |
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scorpeao
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Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on May 24, 2016 22:28:08 GMT
Sophomore year is the year my dd ended up in counseling. I have no advice except that group counseling gave her the tools necessary to deal with the stress of being a teen.
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theshyone
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Post by theshyone on May 24, 2016 22:59:22 GMT
I'm not sure what sophomore is, but nearing the end of grade ten for my DD and emotions are at an all time high. The next month is going to be trying.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
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Post by scrapaddie on May 24, 2016 23:04:49 GMT
Maybe piecing it out will help. He doesn't have to grow up today, but you can help him,prioritize the responsibilities he has to fulfill today.. Like studying for exams, sleeping, eating breakfast. Sometimes everything just becomes overwhelming... Once those are done, you can help him plan for the next chunk. School is demanding if a student cares...the future is scary.... But it is only going to come one day at a time
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scrappinghappy
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“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
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Post by scrappinghappy on May 24, 2016 23:05:12 GMT
I just told my kids that unless pregnancy was involved, they didn't have to grow up too fast and that responsibilities would come at a pace they could handle and that we would always, even if pregnancy were involved, be there to support them.
With finals and all, this is a very stressful time. A good diet and enough sleep and some hugs and reassurance got us through for the most part.
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Post by maryland on May 24, 2016 23:38:16 GMT
Poor guy! But that is very common with boys and girls in high school. Our superintendent had a town meeting and she mentioned that 10th grade is very hard emotionally, especially for the boys. So you are not alone! I think it's normal for kids to worry. There is so much pressure for them to know where they want to go to school and what they want to do at such a young age.
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Post by Rachel on May 24, 2016 23:41:06 GMT
I work at a high school and this is pretty common. It will happen again as seniors if they don't know what they will be doing after school ends. I don't have any advice but he's not alone!
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Post by ceepea on May 24, 2016 23:45:28 GMT
The same thing happened with my oldest son. I let him get all of his fears out in the open and then we just went through them one by one. I told him that all of these responsibilities were coming, but not all at the same time. It was up to him how fast they came. He just had to focus on what was right here in front of him now, don't worry about getting into which university, focus on high school right now. When the time comes for college he will be older and more ready to handle it. Jobs, cars, insurance, mortgages, etc. are not his concern right now. His father and I will always be there to help him any way we can.
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 25, 2016 0:08:50 GMT
My sophomore just had a breakdown a couple of weeks ago. She said the stress of juggling her lacrosse schedule, her new boyfriend, and all honors classes she was overwhelmed. I just reassured her lacrosse is almost done and well, better to go slow with the boyfriend
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Post by Really Red on May 25, 2016 0:44:11 GMT
My 15yo has one more day left. He was slightly short-tempered with me yesterday, which is unusual, so I understand. Today he was a dream. I think you just need to make him fun snacks, don't give him any chores (take them off his hands) and wait until finals are over. Then give him a few days and then you can talk. I'm sure he'll be much better. It's a LOT right now. Good luck. |
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Deleted
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Jun 23, 2024 19:32:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2016 1:04:57 GMT
My 18yo DS is a worrier. Always has been, probably always will be. When he has his 'meltdown' moments, we spend time helping him pinpoint what is stressing him out the most. Then, like ceepea said, we go through the worries one by one. Offer coping skills advice and assure him that we have ALL been through those unsure moments. Yes, even Mom and Dad had moments where we didn't know our butts from holes in the ground. It's the only way to learn what you don't know. We always start out thinking the sleepless newborn nights are the hardest, then it's the terrible twos and after that the pre-teen years knock us about. Truth be told, the teen to young adult adult years are the most treacherous. And they were for most all of us. Based on knowing that, I just try to identify with my teen's fears, give the best advice I can and step back. Sink or swim, but standing by with the floating ring if they ask for it. L |
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Post by Outspoken on May 25, 2016 1:53:39 GMT
I have 2 finishing up 9th grade. One boy, one girl. They go to different high schools. Talk about stress! Last day is tomorrow and they have exams tomorrow as well. I told them both last week that I would not be as rigid about their room and laundry until Friday of this week. I told them to chill out, get rest, unload their minds. I told them that Thursday would be a day they could sleep all day, stay in PJs, snack or whatever they wanted, but Friday, we would be back to a semi-routine for the summer. It has helped them a lot just to know in advance what the plan was and I have left them alone to chill out. It seems to be working!
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scrappinmama
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Post by scrappinmama on May 25, 2016 2:00:39 GMT
Poor kid. It sounds like he is overwhelmed. I think that kids can spread themselves too thin with school, extra curricular activities and volunteering. I think just talking and reassuring that he doesn't have to tackle it all now. If he has too much going on, he may need to cut back on things. And he needs to know that he doesn't have to grow up over night.
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Post by bc2ca on May 25, 2016 2:47:32 GMT
IMHO there is way too much pressure on HS kids to be on the right track with GPA, advanced clasees, the right extracurriculars, knowing what you want to study at college and figuring out where you want to go. I'd encourage him to get more sleep, eat healthy and let him slack off the chores until school is done. Is he playing any sports right now? DS(17) goes for a run or to the gym everyday and finds that really helps keep him from stressing.
It sounds like everything just came to a head and he needed to let some of it out and it is great that he let you in on that. Sometimes you just need a hug and to know someone is on your side.
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luvnlifelady
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 25, 2016 3:22:23 GMT
I have a sophomore DS also and he started counseling recently. Unfortunately, it hasn't seemed to help his anxiety (at least IMO) but he says it has. Sophomore year was also when my DD started seeing someone but things with her got worse before they got better.
I like the idea of more sleep and more hugs. Couldn't hurt.
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Deleted
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Jun 23, 2024 19:32:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2016 4:04:01 GMT
My ds is just finishing his sophomore year of hs. He had kind of a meltdown this evening because he is stressing about growing up and having to have responsibilities. (His words.) He was pretty upset, crying and all. I know part of it is because finals are coming up and I am sure his sleep schedule (or lack thereof) doesn't help. But anybody have any wise words they want to share that might help me help him? I did ask if he would please go to bed a little earlier tonight since being tired can make anxiety worse (btdt!!!) but I was one of those kids who liked responsibility and such so I don't know how to approach this. TIA! Sleep is a good perspective realignment. But, remind him he has been growing up since the day he was conceived (or born since most teens don't like to think about their parents doing the matress mambo) He isn't required to grow up TODAY and take on all the responsibilities of the entire world. But each day will be a small change toward growing up... just like he has been doing his entire life. By the time he is actually grown up he will have learned the skills he needs and it will all be ok. Then I'd look to where is the pressure coming from. At his age the school (and parents) can put a LOT of pressure on for getting great grades, getting set up for an exclusive/competitive university and figuring out what he has to take NOW because it affects his entire life. Back that pressure way way off. |
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Post by lbp on May 25, 2016 14:38:54 GMT
My DS did the same thing. We just assured him that everybody was able to make their way in this world, one way or another. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to find a job and take care of himself. He is now 24, completed college, has a great job and is in his own house! I would just let him know that many people feel the same and he will be fine and you are always there for him to talk it our with.
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. No advice but I am sympathetic. 
