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Post by gar on May 26, 2016 8:07:41 GMT
Well, never ignore your instinct but take other things into account too and if you're really not happy then maybe see if you can find somewhere else for him. Did this place come on recommendation from someone? That's always a good place to start I feel
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Post by bearmom on May 26, 2016 11:36:54 GMT
Have you talked to the provider to see how he is acting during the day?
My younger dd is very introverted and when she started a new day care it took her a few weeks to adjust and she would be very quiet and in-cuddly (unlike her) when she got home because all her energy to adjust to the new setting. I kept in contact with her room teachers to make sure she was doing okay. After a few weeks, she was back to her normal self.
On the bruises, I get bruises that I can't explain so seeing a strange, random bruise on dds never concerned me.
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Post by Merge on May 26, 2016 11:47:55 GMT
As I recall, when you "babysat" overnight for someone else's kids a while back, they didn't sleep as easily as you thought they should or eat the way you thought they should. Am I misremembering that? Seems like your child has similar, normal difficulties in adjusting to a new environment.
Why is he in day care? I don't recall you ever mentioning a job.
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momto4kiddos
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Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on May 26, 2016 12:06:31 GMT
Give it some time, it's an adjustment for all of you. I was amazed at just how exhausted my kids were when they went to HALF DAY kindergarten. They'd been to preschool, similar hours, hadn't napped in years, but the first couple weeks of kindergarten were rough. They were exhausted. New routines are going to need some adjusting to, give it a few weeks and assess.
The bruises I wouldn't be too concerned about, he's in a new environment, playing with new kids he likely just got bumped around. Unless it continues, then I might ask about it.
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gloryjoy
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Jun 26, 2014 12:35:32 GMT
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Post by gloryjoy on May 26, 2016 13:00:55 GMT
I work in daycare and although your concerns are valid, what he is exhibiting is common.
No one can adjust to a different routine in two days, not even an adult. Depending on how many days children attend daycare, it can take up to a month. Napping in a new place is difficult for some children, there can be noise or activity still going on that would prevent him from settling down. As for eating, lots of small children don't eat at daycare the same as they do at home. There are many children that want to go and play because other kids are done eating and have left the eating area.
The bruising, I would talk to the daycare provider about that just to clear it up. Not in an accusing way, but just in a "hey I noticed my son had a couple brusies" way. Children do get bumps and bruises so it's okay to ask.
I think you need to give it at least two weeks, but more like a month.
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caro
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Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on May 26, 2016 13:36:54 GMT
2 days is way too early for his adjustment. I teach this age in our church preschool 3 mornings a week. We give the child 6 weeks to adjust. Many, many times the child has adjusted well after 2 weeks.
Is this a center or in home daycare? Everyday and how many hrs a day? Has he ever been away from you for short periods of time like church or gym nursery? My guess is, this is huge for him. Give it time.
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Post by AN on May 26, 2016 13:44:23 GMT
Trust your gut. Not a mom, haven't dealt with daycare, but I'm a huge believer in trusting your gut.
While the actual things you are noticing may be common, may need more time, etc - I strongly believe your brain can pick up cues you aren't even consciously aware of, and that can give you that uneasiness. Now, if you're a huge worrier all the time with lots of unfounded things, maybe your gut is just an unnecessary worry wart. But if you aren't usually a worrier and something is giving you pause - listen to it.
The Gift of Fear is a great book, even if this daycare turns out to be fabulous and wonderful.
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Post by Skellinton on May 26, 2016 14:00:27 GMT
You haven't answered if he has ever been in care before, nor if this is a home daycare or a center? The reason I asked about the location of the bruise was exactly for the reason above, if it was on his face or upper arm or wrist that *might*'be more reason for concern, a bruise on the leg is very common and as I said I don't know any children, especially boys, who don't have a bruise on the body at some point or another. I really think you don't want him in care and are looking for excuses to pull him, which is probably normal, but not necessarily healthy for him or you.
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Dalai Mama
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Post by Dalai Mama on May 26, 2016 14:09:16 GMT
yesterday when i got him he was super quite and when we left he started hitting and head butting. he did not go in today since he was running a fever and got sick last night. Uhm, maybe that's your answer?
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Post by darkangel090260 on May 26, 2016 14:47:46 GMT
Center based, the teacher said he is doing fine no he has not be with anyone be side DH or my self. Monday is a half day Tuesday is a full 9 hours Wednesday is half day and none of Thursday and Friday a full day.
with the food thing. I only packed thing on his top 5 list to make sure he did eat. Tuesday he did not even eat his yogurt or meat balls.
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Post by boatymcboatface on May 26, 2016 14:55:54 GMT
Trust your gut. Not a mom, haven't dealt with daycare, but I'm a huge believer in trusting your gut. While the actual things you are noticing may be common, may need more time, etc - I strongly believe your brain can pick up cues you aren't even consciously aware of, and that can give you that uneasiness. Now, if you're a huge worrier all the time with lots of unfounded things, maybe your gut is just an unnecessary worry wart. But if you aren't usually a worrier and something is giving you pause - listen to it. The Gift of Fear is a great book, even if this daycare turns out to be fabulous and wonderful. I would never tell a mom not to trust her instinct but I will also say that there are times that trusting your instinct will lead you to a conclusion that actually isn't true just an example my oldest dd went into a threes room when I went back to work and her behavior changed radically she started doing baby talk again and having bathroom accidents. Well my mom instinct was whoa this is all wrong she was potty trained a whole year and had a very grow up vicabulary and now this. I spoke to her teacher who said it was very common for children who were with adults all day but then entered a childcare situation to revert their behavior to more match the kids around them where they used to match the adults they were with all day. It was correct she adjusted and was fine and was not actually making a regression my mom instinct tried to make this a much bigger deal than it was. Mom instinct is useful it is not always the answer though sometimes you have to apply other wisdom beyond trust your gut.
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Dalai Mama
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Post by Dalai Mama on May 26, 2016 15:05:50 GMT
Center based, the teacher said he is doing fine no he has not be with anyone be side DH or my self. Monday is a half day Tuesday is a full 9 hours Wednesday is half day and none of Thursday and Friday a full day. with the food thing. I only packed thing on his top 5 list to make sure he did eat. Tuesday he did not even eat his yogurt or meat balls. Loss of appetite is pretty common for toddlers who are sick and running a fever. As is quietness and irritability.
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Post by jamielynn on May 26, 2016 15:17:19 GMT
Is your daycare licensed by your state? Did you look if they have any infractions?
I know my child plays hard at daycare. Trips over the sandbox and gets bruised, normal and okay for the age. A few small bruises never really concern me given that.
My child also is hit or miss eating. I'd say after 2 days maybe he's just busier socializing than eating lunch? Mine is opposite, most of the daily eating is huge meals and snacks at daycare with friends and more nibbling at home. Maybe send a water bottle if he's really thirsty and ask for access during his day.
I truly feel daycare is great for kids it can just take a few weeks adjustment.
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Post by finally~a~mama on May 26, 2016 16:33:35 GMT
Center based, the teacher said he is doing fine no he has not be with anyone be side DH or my self. Monday is a half day Tuesday is a full 9 hours Wednesday is half day and none of Thursday and Friday a full day. with the food thing. I only packed thing on his top 5 list to make sure he did eat. Tuesday he did not even eat his yogurt or meat balls. I think you have your answer right here. He's NEVER been with anyone besides mom & dad and he was left for half a day Monday and 9 HOURS on Tuesday. He was with strangers so he was SCARED and he can't tell anyone that. Plus he was getting sick. I don't mean to bash you. I have a recently turned 3 year old DD & I stay home with her. I also have a 6 year old that I wasn't able to stay home with. I hated that she was in daycare so I know how that feels. I think I mentioned earlier that my 3 year old DD does go to an in-home daycare every once in awhile. This is the daycare provider who watched our eldest child full time for us. I know my DD age 3 doesn't eat much when she is there and is quiet. But I don't worry about it because a) DD is used to being with mama so it's different and 2) I trust this woman completely with my child. My point is the things you described are normal - especially for a child that hasn't ever been away from mom & dad and is coming down with an illness. Get to know the people at the daycare and see if you trust them.
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