Educate me about sororities, etc

My kids have been in them. They all were required to keep a certain gpa, have study hours and participate in campus activities and philanthropies. Yes, there were a lot of social functions, as well. It's a great way to meet people and also provides a network when they graduate and begin job hunting.

My younger daughter was in one and loved every minute of it. I believe that she has made some lifelong friends.

Some of us who come from a certain era have a prejudice against sororities, I think. I always looked at them as groups of girls who are in school for their Mrs. degree, probably wealthy, kind of snooty....etc. And maybe there are still groups like that. My dd says that it depends a lot on which university you're attending. My dd's sorority has the reputation at other schools of being unfriendly to "outsiders" yet at her university it's not at all like that.

I totally changed my opinion of sororities when my dd joined one during her freshman year. Her school is very Pan-Hellenic and unlike some other schools at hers all the sororities get along and do things together. In fact her apartment -- dd and three other girls -- has four different sororities there. They even had their photo taken for one of the Greek events during rush week last year. 

It has given my dd leadership skills that she never had before. She's an officer in the sorority, a Greek Ambassador, and serves on the Pan-Hellentic Council. She has met a diverse bunch of girls and as someone said above she now has a network of friends, and sisters who she doesn't even know personally. 

They have a philanthropy that they support -- both the national one and then one that their chapter supports. Her chapter is the Alpha Chapter (the founding chapter) so that gives them (in their eyes) extra responsibility to represent the sorority well. Dd has learned all sorts of things about working with a group, leading a group, running a group, she's learned to interact with adults as equals (which is something not everything learns in high school, lol). They have a required GPA that they have to maintain, but if they don't the sorority doesn't just kick them out. Instead they rally around and help the person who's having troubles. Dd said there was one girl last year who hit the "sophomore slump" and Chemistry at the same time and was really struggling. The girls helped her be in touch with the tutoring center at school, and they organized among themselves to help her other times. She pulled her grade up, and I thought that was a wonderful lesson to all the girls about helping when people have troubles. 

Her dues aren't even very expensive, which dd says is because they don't have houses. There's one dorm that's the sorority dorm and each sorority has a section in it (or some live off-campus, like dd). Dd said the sororities who live in a house usually have more expensive dues because they have the upkeep, utilities, etc. on the house. 

Anyway... I have nothing negative to say about my dd's sorority experience.

eta: I just read this thread to my dd and she says she hopes those of you have a negative opinion would explore them further if you have a daughter who is interested. She also says that any fraternity stories you've heard are probably true and that has nothing to do with how the sorority girls act. lol. But then she added that she does know some nice fraternity men. She says there is a different between "frat boys" and "fraternity men". lol

That's about all I had heard too and seen back in the 90s. LOTS of parties and crazy wild times. Also secret stuff with the sororities, girls grades dropping and that mean girl mentality. Though the people that were involved in Greek life are still friends with each other now.

I am not sure how much has changed since then, but the news only of course reports the bad stuff.

BUT from reading things posted on 2peas, it has opened my eyes to the good things and some people love what they get out of it. It can be positive experience for some young people. Of course I think it has a lot to do with the part of the country the college/university is in and also how much of a party school it is.

Before college it wasn't even on my radar.  Once I decided on a school and was put in touch with some current students I learned that they were very big at the University I was going to attend.  I did some research over the summer, but wasn't 100% sure going into rush.  Rush was an amazing experience.  I pledged and was a very happy member during my 3 years at that university.  I transferred colleges at that point and then new school I attended did not have a chapter of my sorority.  I definitely missed it as I was finishing school.  I got re-involved 5 years ago with my local alumna chapter and have been very involved ever since. 

In college - there was a very strict gpa requirement, if you had a bad semester you had a semester probation where you had to attend mandatory study sessions in the house and you were paired with an older girl to help you.  They were very strict about under age drinking, no boys allowed overnight in the house. We had a certain number of service hours that needed to be completed every semester. Everyone was very involved in other activities on campus and very well rounded.  

I am still friends with many of the girls that I pledged with and would encourage my own daughter to explore her options when she heads to college.

Meh! My college had a big greek system. It was very exclusionary. There were greeks and GDI (g*d d*mn independents) and not much interaction. There were crazy parties and typical greek BS. That, being said, I did join, but couldn't get past having peers boss me around. I'm not against rules, but things like I needed to do xx hours of study hall in a place near kitchen and front door with the rest of the house being loud so you couldn't study and then they'd get mad if you went somewhere to actually study so you could keep your grades up. We did have a charity. I guess I'm just not one of those joiner type people. I gave it a go, but in the end the cost/benefit ration was lacking.

I had a very positive experience. I'm an extroverted introvert so it definitely helped me to meet friends! It's almost been 20 years since I pledged (good grief!) but there's a core group of us who are still very close. In fact, my little family and another "sister's" are spending Memorial weekend together at a lake!

No hazing, no forced anything. NONE. Had to keep up a GPA above 3.0 at a very tough school to remain active. I think this is a positive, motivating thing though! I also had access to other members who were willing to tutor and help study. I would have flunked calculus without that accessible, no-judgement & FREE help. I got a B! I in turn tutored girls in my major later on as well.

We watched out for one another at parties. I didn't find the Greek parties to be any better or worse in terms of drinking & behavior than non-Greek parties. If you want to party, you'll find a party, KWIM?

DH was in a fraternity and he is older than me. After he graduated and I was still on campus, the guys in his fraternity treated me like their sister. I never had to walk home alone at night or drink crappy beer at their house. They were very gentleman-like. I always felt safe there, although there was one house on campus where I didn't and i ever went there.

Post college, I met many friends through alumnae groups in all the various cities we've lived. It's pretty awesome to have an instant network while job hunting in a new city too.

My sorority's philanthropy is CASA (court appointed special advocate) for children. DH and I have collectively done more for them post-college than we would have ever dreamed, just bc of my connection to them. It's pretty cool to see other alumnae do the same thing, even if it's just choosing that org as their United Way beneficiary through work planned giving.

As a CASA, I can't tell you how awesome it was to read this!!

I too was relieved when neither DD went to a university with the Greek system. I wasn't involved when I was in college (paying my own way and trying to make enough to eat didn't leave any $s left over for dues, tshirts, parties, etc)

DH and I were involved in Greek life in college and so were both of our boys.  It was a positive experience for all of us.  My closest friends now are still my sorority sisters from 30+ years ago even though we are spread across the country.  I went to a school that had a lot of very wealthy students.  There were also middle class and lower class (I was on the very poor end) and my sorority was a mix of all three.  I was never made to feel like I was less than anyone because I came from nothing.  

As for the drinking and sex, yes, it happens a lot in fraternities and sororities.  But it happens alot in all aspects of college life even if there is no Greek life.  My kids' friends who were not in frats tell stories about things that happened on their campuses that rival any fraternity or sorority story I have ever heard.  My oldest still talks about how the wildest parties he ever attended were held at the houses of female sports teams.  

I think we must be "sisters." CASA is a wonderful organization and I'm proud it's our sorority's philanthropy.