|
Post by mommaho on Jun 2, 2016 14:49:52 GMT
Memorial Day was in the 80's for us, and late in the afternoon DH decided he would get up on the roof to trim a tree that overhangs the gutters. He climbs up in knit shorts with his pruning pole and hedge clipper, all a grand idea. Until he figures out that to use the pruning pole he needs to sit on the black shingle roof. I just keep hearing him say, Wow, that is hot - Damn this roof is hot (still trimming away) Shit, this roof is really hot. Climbs down and discovered he burnt his ass on the black hot (did I say it was in the 80's which makes it about 20 degrees hotter on the roof) shingles.
I did not laugh at him, just the situation. I got out the Aloe Solarcain (sp?) and yes, I put it on his ass for him. I told him it would be best if he let it air out some. No, I'll be fine . . . so as he walks about he is muttering Shit, Shit, Shit . . . .
That evening I got out the Dermaplast and he let me spray that on so he could sleep. He told me I must have been hiding this stuff and keeping it all for myself because it is a miracle drug.
He is doing better day by day - still walking gingerly with a non-stick gauze pad clinched in his crack so as it heals it won't stick to his shorts.
What if men had to have babies?
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:38:25 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2016 15:02:48 GMT
Recently, dh sprayed weed killer on our entire garden instead of fungicide. Yep, killed the whole garden that was just starting to sprout. Killed his super beefsteak tomato plant. Damaged his young peach tree. Killed my new hostas I planted in a new flower bed we built. Damaged the hops, killed the new seedlings.
We spent memorial day buying new seedlings and replanting them along with the seeds.
Can't do much about the tree or hops other than hoping the damage isn't too bad.
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Jun 2, 2016 15:07:53 GMT
When we had our conversion van years ago, the lock on the spare tire rusted. DH drove to the hardware store, rented a bolt cutter, drove home, and cut off the lock. Then he had to drive back to the hardware store to return bolt cutter. I asked him "Why didn't you cut off the lock AT the hardware store?"
His latest was he was running a temp of 102 and didn't want to call the doctor. Seriously? He's the guy with cancer that had a heart attack 2 months ago. We called the doctor.
|
|
garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,770
Location: So. Calif.
Jun 25, 2014 23:22:29 GMT
|
Post by garcia5050 on Jun 2, 2016 15:12:57 GMT
DH was looking for the bag of preflossed teeth pickers in the designated drawer but didn't find them, so he proceeded to berate the kids who denied moving them. I finally looked myself,and they were there all along, way in the back of the drawer. And no, apologies were not handed out.
|
|
|
Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jun 2, 2016 15:15:35 GMT
Climbs down and discovered he burnt his ass Aww, poor guy.
|
|
|
Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jun 2, 2016 15:16:28 GMT
DH was looking for the bag of preflossed teeth pickers in the designated drawer but didn't find them, so he proceeded to berate the kids who denied moving them. I finally looked myself,and they were there all along, way in the back of the drawer. And no, apologies were not handed out. That's shitty.
|
|
schizo319
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,030
Jun 28, 2014 0:26:58 GMT
|
Post by schizo319 on Jun 2, 2016 15:20:33 GMT
I once went through the sales paper and wrote down all the things that we needed that were on sale at store A (including some things that weren't "needs" but were good deals) - he went to the wrong store and bought all the items on the list at store B for full price. From now on I put prices in parentheses on any grocery list he'll be using.
Another time, he accidentally flushed a stick of deodorant down the toilet (he swears it jumped off the shelf behind the toilet and plunged in right as the water was flushing) - the stick of deodorant ended up getting stuck inside the toilet and we had to buy a new one.
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 2, 2016 15:27:12 GMT
Memorial Day was in the 80's for us, and late in the afternoon DH decided he would get up on the roof to trim a tree that overhangs the gutters. He climbs up in knit shorts with his pruning pole and hedge clipper, all a grand idea. Until he figures out that to use the pruning pole he needs to sit on the black shingle roof. I just keep hearing him say, Wow, that is hot - Damn this roof is hot (still trimming away) Shit, this roof is really hot. Climbs down and discovered he burnt his ass on the black hot (did I say it was in the 80's which makes it about 20 degrees hotter on the roof) shingles.
I did not laugh at him, just the situation. I got out the Aloe Solarcain (sp?) and yes, I put it on his ass for him. I told him it would be best if he let it air out some. No, I'll be fine . . . so as he walks about he is muttering Shit, Shit, Shit . . . .
That evening I got out the Dermaplast and he let me spray that on so he could sleep. He told me I must have been hiding this stuff and keeping it all for myself because it is a miracle drug.
He is doing better day by day - still walking gingerly with a non-stick gauze pad clinched in his crack so as it heals it won't stick to his shorts.
What is men had to have babies?
Oh Sweet Jesus, I just peed a little reading this!
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:38:25 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2016 15:30:32 GMT
Oh, and he froze his beer.
We have a small chest freezer with a temperature regulator on it to keep it at 34 degrees instead of freezing. There's a probe that goes inside it to ensure it stays at the right temp. Necessary to prevent the kegs and bottles from freezing as well as his live yeast that he was saving for a later batch.
While re-arranging things to make sure the new keg would fit, dh managed to pull out the probe and didn't see it. The freezer ran like it's supposed to and froze everything. 10 bottles of beer frozen. Two of them exploded in the freezer. The one keg of what was probably one of his best batches yet froze. That was a fun clean up.
I swear, he's absent-minded and often has tunnel vision. He also lost the baggie of screws we had that is for the window a/c units. I have to keep track of more than I'd like to.
|
|
|
Post by vspindler on Jun 2, 2016 15:31:16 GMT
My dh works for a paint store. One day he decided to push down on a box for some reason. That box was full of metal mud trays and the top of the box caved in. He basically attempted to fillet his pinky finger in the edge of the tray. The U shaped cut was 6 cm long and could be seen on the opposite side of his hand. He ended up with 12 stitches and even Workers comp questioned how you could get a 6 cm cut on a pinky finger. To add insult to injury, it ended up infected.
|
|
gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,092
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
|
Post by gsquaredmom on Jun 2, 2016 15:50:00 GMT
When we had our conversion van years ago, the lock on the spare tire rusted. DH drove to the hardware store, rented a bolt cutter, drove home, and cut off the lock. Then he had to drive back to the hardware store to return bolt cutter. I asked him "Why didn't you cut off the lock AT the hardware store?" His latest was he was running a temp of 102 and didn't want to call the doctor. Seriously? He's the guy with cancer that had a heart attack 2 months ago. We called the doctor. Hope he is ok
|
|
|
Post by lbp on Jun 2, 2016 16:22:23 GMT
This weekend I pass the upstairs bathroom to find DH standing there with the window open shooting crows out of the cherry tree! We are in the boonies, no one is around, but really. Just go outside and shoot crows!
|
|
|
Post by dewryce on Jun 2, 2016 16:26:58 GMT
One of the most memorable was when he locked the keys in the car. We were at the end of the honeymoon, on the way to the airport, just stopping for some last minute gifts. This is not an infrequent occurrence with him and now both of us carry spare keys in our wallets just in case he strikes again.
Another was when he ignored my concerns, our tire flew off the vehicle, and we ended up having to walk for 4 hours in the rain to get to a hotel. No cell phones back then. Turned out to be a lovely, relaxing weekend that we needed towards the end of our wedding planning.
|
|
josie
Full Member
Posts: 217
Jul 29, 2014 20:47:33 GMT
|
Post by josie on Jun 2, 2016 17:25:45 GMT
We started a remodel on our kitchen. I cleaned out the freezer etc on Saturday since someone was coming to haul our appliances away on Sunday. I used the last of the beef and made tacos. On Sunday we packed up 90% of the kitchen. We will basically be living with no kitchen for 5 weeks. Sunday at 4pm, DH goes on and on about tacos and he wants them again...he disappears for 30 minutes and comes home with a grocery bag - full of beef. WTF? What are you going to do with this? He says, well your tacos last night were really good I want them again ....ummm look around...how would you like me to cook the meat? We have no stove.... He just had this bewildered look on his face. I really wanted to yell at him but I couldn't help but laugh.
|
|
|
Post by jameynz on Jun 2, 2016 17:27:17 GMT
Once, when the Internet was new..... We had a cat who was pregnant and neither of us knew how long a cat's pregnancy is - he decided to look it up on the Internet. Only, he didn't know what to search for....pregnant pussy is NOT recommended
|
|
georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
|
Post by georgiapea on Jun 2, 2016 17:36:36 GMT
There have been many incidents but to me the absolute worst was leaving his wallet on top of a gas pump. Fortunately it was at an airport and the next user of the pump turned it into the FBO, which called home and I was able to pick it up. When he got where he was going for the hundred dollar hamburger and discovered he had no money he called and I was able to let him know I already had the wallet.
|
|
pridemom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,843
Jul 12, 2014 21:58:10 GMT
|
Post by pridemom on Jun 2, 2016 17:43:21 GMT
8-9 years ago (this week!) he ruined our anniversary weekend trip by falling off a ladder and shattering both wrists. He had climbed a 6' ladder to check out the attic opening in our 12' high garage. I spent our anniversary sleeping next to his hospital bed, he had surgery to rebuild the wrists, and then I got to be his personal nurse and attend to his hygienic needs for two weeks.
|
|
|
Post by crimsoncat05 on Jun 2, 2016 17:59:43 GMT
^^^ pridemom , oh my gosh!!! That's "manly math" I guess-- 6 foot ladder, 12 foot ceiling-- yup, it'll work! (not!) My boyfriend did something similar with a ladder, except he only got a hairline fracture in his leg when he landed on the cement driveway.
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Jun 2, 2016 18:04:33 GMT
When we had our conversion van years ago, the lock on the spare tire rusted. DH drove to the hardware store, rented a bolt cutter, drove home, and cut off the lock. Then he had to drive back to the hardware store to return bolt cutter. I asked him "Why didn't you cut off the lock AT the hardware store?" His latest was he was running a temp of 102 and didn't want to call the doctor. Seriously? He's the guy with cancer that had a heart attack 2 months ago. We called the doctor. Hope he is ok Yes, he is better, thanks! He spent three days in the hospital, though.
|
|
pridemom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,843
Jul 12, 2014 21:58:10 GMT
|
Post by pridemom on Jun 2, 2016 18:04:37 GMT
^^^ pridemom , oh my gosh!!! That's "manly math" I guess-- 6 foot ladder, 12 foot ceiling-- yup, it'll work! (not!) My boyfriend did something similar with a ladder, except he only got a hairline fracture in his leg when he landed on the cement driveway. Yup. It really doesn't work when he's 5'8". It's a great story now, but really sucked at the time.
|
|
|
Post by giatocj on Jun 2, 2016 18:27:48 GMT
There may not be enough room in one post to list them all, so I'll just name some of the biggies. -Put an axe through the top of his foot while chopping wood at a campground in the ass end of nowhere. Six stitches done at no charge by the local vet ! -Nearly put his eye out with the plug of an electric shovel that he yanked out of the outlet instead of walking over and unplugging it. -Fell out of the shower and dislocated his finger as he crashed through the towel rod AND the top of the cat box (damn cat!! LOL!!). -Landed wrong during a skydiving outing and got a compound fracture of his left ankle requiring surgery, hardware and all the fun follow up. I love this guy with all my heart, but I think I equally love the fact that we have great insurance.
|
|
lindas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,277
Jun 26, 2014 5:46:37 GMT
|
Post by lindas on Jun 2, 2016 20:32:02 GMT
It's a pretty long list so just some of my favorites.
Fell off a ladder - 7 broken bones in his foot 2 was before we were moving.
Tripped over the dog because he didn't want to turn on the light and disturbe said dog - broken wrist.
Decided to put a coffered ceiling in our family room back in November, he's still on the scaffolding. Enough said.
Crashed my 11 day old new Cadilac through the front garage wall into the back of his Covette which proceeded to crash into a refrigerator in the garage. You should have heard him explaining that to his insurance agent. BTW, I was the agent!!
After 46 yrs he still never ceases to amaze me with dumb stuff.
|
|
|
Post by snappinsami on Jun 2, 2016 21:17:19 GMT
It's a lengthy list full of both funny and not-so-funny things. Funny (or at least easily forgivable) are the countless pairs of sunglasses that he's lost over the years in dumb ways. There was the pair lost when his kayak flipped in the ocean. Or the pair that was on the roof of the car when he drove off one day.
Speaking of the roof of the car...
Thanksgiving 1996 - I had flown back to Philly to see my parents for the holiday, and DH stayed home by himself. On Thanksgiving morning, he put his bike on the roofrack of the car and went off for a bike ride. That night when I talked to him, he sheepishly said, "I did something stupid." Yeah... He had come home from his ride and pulled into the garage as usual, but FORGOT THE BIKE WAS ON THE ROOF! (Now, this car had a moonroof that was always open, so I'm not sure exactly how he missed that important detail.) The bike was fine - the trip computer on the handlebars was broken, but that's it. But my car! (And yes, it was MY car.) It had four dimples in the roof from where the rack attached to it. DH promised me that we'd get it fixed asap. Yeah, no. Three years later, right before we had to turn it in at the end of the lease, was when they were finally fixed.
Gotta love 'im.
|
|
|
Post by bwife on Jun 2, 2016 21:35:30 GMT
My husband has not done a ton of things... but a few.
he broke his toe on the side of the bathtub while we were in vegas for a friends wedding, an hr before he had to wear tux shoes.
He climbed on the roof of our old house to cut a limb down from the tree. We sold the house and that 1 limb was on the inspection and the new peeps wanted it taken care of. he decided he could take care of it. Unlike the OP, my husband did not burn his butt, but I thought I was going to have to call 911 and get the fire dept to come and get him down. he got up there, laid down and started sliding. he was freaking out.
Him and my uncle were trying to fix something on our house. My husband was holding, while my uncle was cutting with the sawzall, damn near cut his finger off. DH refused to go to the ER. I think that is also the time I had to patch him up with liquid bandage and he thought he was going to pass out. lol.
I am thankful that my DH does not seem as accident prone as his brother. lol
|
|
|
Post by papersilly on Jun 2, 2016 21:36:57 GMT
not my DH but a friend's. she told her DH to mail her old cell phone to her sister. he packs it up and mails it. the sister calls a few days later and asks where the phone is. oh, there it is..in the mailbox at home....because he mailed it to my friend. we will never let him live that down.
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jun 2, 2016 21:51:57 GMT
The story mommaho told about her husband sounds like the male version of the "waxing the hooha" story that makes its rounds periodically, Lol.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:38:25 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2016 22:14:10 GMT
A long time ago....hubby saw that I had pinned an engagement ring I loved. So hubby orders it, put our home number down as his contact, not work or cell but home. The company calls and asks for him, I respond he's not here this is his girlfriend can I help you. The girl responds, yes this is blah blah from blah blah wanting to confirm his order for the engagement ring and wedding band set. It took all of my strength to not tell him I knew. I waited untill after he got it and told him. He was pissed at the company, he called them and got me some pretty nice earings for free.
He now always leaves his cell number.
|
|
|
Post by scrapqueen01 on Jun 2, 2016 23:47:32 GMT
A couple of years ago Dh was complaining of an ear ache. I told him he probably had an infection and needed to go to the doctor to have it checked. He ignored me. Two days later at 9 pm I got home and noticed blood coming out of his ear. The ear that dh said was hurting. I told him about it and that his ear drum has ruptured. So his sister goes with him to the hospital. Two hours and $150+ later (would have only been $20+ if he had gone to the doctor like I said) he's home. Ear drums take a long time to heal. Dh already has hearing loss but now it was worse because of this. I wasn't amused.
|
|
|
Post by padresfan619 on Jun 3, 2016 0:05:47 GMT
I'm afraid I am the one to do dumb stuff in our relationship. Like the time I crashed his SUV unto a cement wall. I still cringe about that and it was a post 2 years ago.
|
|
|
Post by myboysnme on Jun 3, 2016 1:31:03 GMT
I have many great stories to choose from, but I'm going to go back quite a few years for this one. My mother always sent a gift and card for my birthday the week before. I kept saying to my DH, "I wonder why my mom 's gift hasn't arrived?" My birthday came and I remarked several times, "It's not like my mom to miss my birthday. I wonder if the package got lost?" My DH just acted sympathetic.
Finally a few days after my birthday I said, "I'm going to call my mom and see if she sent something because I think it was lost." I called my mom and asked her about sending me a gift. She said, "I gave your gift to your DH when we were down last month." I couldn't believe he would just let me keep wondering and actually ask my mom about it when he had it the whole time.
I said, "My mom said she gave you my present last month." He looked at me like a deer in headlights. He was like, "Oh wow. I totally forgot." He went to his clothes closet and pulled down my gift from the top shelf.
Now how does a husband hear his wife asking over and over again about a gift from her mom and not have it register that he has the gift. I really think that is truly stupid.
|
|