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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Aug 1, 2014 22:34:33 GMT
manipulation? I don't have a lot of details. The husband left the wife and moved in with his parents. Wife is desperate and a tad crazy. She wants him back. She supposedly called a counseling place to have him committed. The police and ambulance arrived at his place of employment and the police sent the ambulance away as it wasn't needed. From what I understand, the wife signed something to say that she'd be responsible for him. He didn't argue.
I'm surprised this was so easy. Would it be that easy for a man to do to his wife? He has been so unhappy and finally decided to leave. He isn't a danger to anyone. She manipulates him and will threaten to commit him. He believes her. Is it that simple to call and tell a story and get what you want? Scary!
Is there anything the family can do to help? Would the police do a well check? Is there legal help that can be obtained for him inexpensively? She basically doesn't want to let him out of her sight and she'll try to find a way to beat the system so he gets paid instead of working like he is capable of doing.
Crazy. My life was fairly drama free until this situation.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 4:21:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2014 22:52:32 GMT
While she may have attempted to have him committed that may not be what happened. He may have agreed to go for observation and then he will be able to use this event to his advantage as to why he needs to leave the marriage.
In most states you can't be involuntarily committed unless a doctor in mental health and a judge see evidence of you being an immediate danger to yourself or someone else. By sending the ambulance away he isn't an immediate danger to himself. If he voluntarily checks into a psychiatric ward he can check himself out at any time. So it is better in that respect to go check yourself in.
Do you think there is a reason to have the police do a well check? A well check on him would indicate the wife is right that he might harm himself.
Your post leaves a whole lot of holes (I'm not asking for more information) Just that it is confusing and hard to figure out exactly what you are tying to ask.
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Aug 1, 2014 23:19:43 GMT
Thanks. I really don't have much info. I guess a well check wouldn't necessarily be to make sure he is safe. She took his phone. She won't let family in, I'm sure. I'll think he'll take the path of least resistance and act like a dog that has been beaten down. When it all blows over in a year, he'll probably leave and go far away. Who knows. I guess, I'm looking for a way to get him help if he chooses to change his mind and to let the wife know that he has support and options. Meanwhile, I'm sure he won't have any freedom to drive, or money and basically be kept in the house. Obviously, his own choice, but she will manipulate him into thinking God wants this. She won't let him get divorced. So, we may just stay out of it, however, once she pulled the police stunt, she involved my family's business (a business, not nosiness  and by not allowing him to work she has created an issue for us. We'd like to see him happy and back to work enjoying life. I'm just shocked that someone could create such a scene with no prior history etc. I also wonder what paper she signed and if it really has an legal backing. Can he just walk away and say, "Screw you!" ? Thanks for your input. |
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 4:21:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
Ok, I have a better understanding of what is going on. Yes, he can just walk away. It won't be a divorce but he can leave if he choses to do so. There are ramifications in reguards to property owned, joint accounts and what not that he will need to get his name or her name off of. But he can walk.
If you can hold his job for a few days/week (even if it has to be without pay) so he can come back to it that will be a big help. You may want to talk to the police about ways to handle it if she sends them to the business again. Ask him if he wants his paycheck to still go into the same direct deposit account or if he would like a different pay option.
In the end though it is all up to him. Just like emotionally abused women have to finally stand up and say "enough" he will too... and only he can determine where that point is for him.
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Aug 1, 2014 23:38:43 GMT
Yep, we will hold his job until it gets too busy. To be honest, I don't think he'll be back to work with us. She will attempt to have him claim unemployment. He has to pick up the check, so he needs to figure that out. She takes and spends all the money. He got to keep $10 a week. We thought he had finally said, "Enough!" I wish he'd just say screw the paper and walk away, but then we'd never see him again. He just needs to call her bluff.
Thank you for your input.
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SuPeaNatural
Full Member
AUSTRALIA
Posts: 424
Jun 27, 2014 8:49:11 GMT
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Post by SuPeaNatural on Aug 2, 2014 0:05:13 GMT
That poor man! I find it amazing that she was able to take it all that far without at least his doctor being involved.
I would just let him know that you are there to help him if he needs it, even if he doesn't work there any more. Maybe he feels alone and overwhelmed, so knowing there is someone in his corner might be the impetus he needs to start getting himself out of this toxic situation.
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Post by traceys on Aug 2, 2014 0:11:47 GMT
Am I understanding correctly that he went back to her?
If she was willing to lie and could do so convincingly, it's possible that she could get an order to have him evaluated. But that is only for a few days until a doctor can do an evaluation and determine if he is a danger to himself or others. She can't just have him locked away indefinitely based on her say so.
If this is the card she's going to try to play, and he really wants out, I think I would probably try to help him gets his ducks in a row before he leaves again. He needs to see an attorney (and I certainly wouldn't tell her) and let him/her know what has gone on to see if there is anything that can be done to head it off next time. Might not be a bad idea to see a mental health professional of his own choosing to establish that he is of sound mind. If he wants a divorce, she can't stop him from getting one eventually, but it sounds like he needs to proceed carefully and plan ahead if she's willing to go to these extremes.
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Aug 2, 2014 0:48:04 GMT
Yes, he willingly left work, the police followed them somewhere, maybe back to the house. (to the counseling place to sign papers) He went back to her. I really don't know. He has agreed to an evaluation as far as I know. They did some blood work. I have no doubt he has depression, but this isn't anything new. His sugar levels were high and that's all I know. She'll try and blame some supplements on his issues. Again, there really nothing is new medically, he just chose to walk away this time.
Hopefully, he gets a full evaluation along with some counseling and then they can determine is just miserable in this marriage and has been.
She is playing every card she has and manipulating any way she can. I'm sure she's pretty convincing when talking to others such as the police. Quite frankly, it pisses me off she had them go to the business to handle it. I was able to stay out of all of it and I understand she is hurting etc, but you involve the business then I'm done being cordial.
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and by not allowing him to work she has created an issue for us. We'd like to see him happy and back to work enjoying life. 
