The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,348
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jun 7, 2016 18:24:29 GMT
It was a group text to 4 people
"Today is mom and dad's 58th wedding anniversary if you care to say Happy Anniversary to them"
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Post by mlynn on Jun 7, 2016 18:25:33 GMT
a little
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psiluvu
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,217
Location: Canada's Capital
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:26 GMT
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Post by psiluvu on Jun 7, 2016 18:25:54 GMT
Yep sounds like someone has a bug up there butt because people are not celebrating as the texter sees fit.
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Post by gar on Jun 7, 2016 18:27:14 GMT
Snotty, a bit blunt, yes....the sender obviously has an underlying meaning.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jun 7, 2016 18:27:28 GMT
Yes - I think that's classic - can't tell tone from a text. It could be a totally informational text - but it comes off a bit snotty.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 19:29:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2016 18:28:00 GMT
if it were from my sister, yes! No one seems to care as much as she does LOL.
otherwise, something like "don't forget today is mom and dad's 58th" is much less snotty but gives the same info!
(I've had to work very hard lately with things like this personally not interjecting my opinion into a fact.....so yes, I would say snotty!)
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Post by nicole2112 on Jun 7, 2016 18:28:32 GMT
"if you care to..." is snotty for sure.
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Post by littlemama on Jun 7, 2016 18:28:51 GMT
Yes, it is snotty.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 19:29:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2016 18:30:47 GMT
Maybe a little brusque but without any background it's hard to tell. If I received that text from my brother I'd read it in his douchey tone and would be able to tell his meaning.
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Post by melanell on Jun 7, 2016 18:33:39 GMT
Unfortunately, some people do use the phrase "care to" in place of "want to", "wish to", "desire to". So there exists the possibility that they were really trying to simply let people know that today is the anniversary if they wanted to say something to the couple. However, I think it can it can absolutely be read as snotty. I think this is definitely a situation where if you know the person well who sent the text, you're going to read it based on your relationship or past experiences with this person. And if you do not know them well you're going to read it based on your past life experiences in general. The first situation will likely mean that, unless the sender was acting differently than usual, you might be spot on to say they were being snotty. The second situation, however, could lead to unfortunately thinking someone was conveying an attitude that they didn't really have.
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Post by lucyg on Jun 7, 2016 18:34:22 GMT
It sounds a little snotty, OR maybe just as if the bossy oldest sister was saying it. (Can you tell I'm the bossy oldest sister?)
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 19:29:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2016 18:42:28 GMT
Does not sound snotty to me - just informative.
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loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,662
Jun 26, 2014 16:15:45 GMT
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Post by loco coco on Jun 7, 2016 18:43:19 GMT
meh- not really. If the person is normally snotty then I could see how it comes off that way
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Post by STBC on Jun 7, 2016 18:44:41 GMT
Could be snotty, but maybe not. Depends on the sender.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,409
Member is Online
Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on Jun 7, 2016 18:52:29 GMT
I guess I am a big ole bitch then since I send reminder texts to my 2 siblings often. Of course they thank me since they never remember dates.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Jun 7, 2016 18:54:21 GMT
I vote snotty. I don't care for the care to. It's your Mom and Dad, of course you care. OP - I hope it wasn't you that sent that text
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
Jun 26, 2014 12:25:29 GMT
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Post by oldcrow on Jun 7, 2016 18:55:12 GMT
I assume it was sent to the *children* who should not need any encouragement to acknowledge the event.
So my guess is it was meant to be snotty in hopes of shaming someone into acting they way the sender thinks they should.
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Post by gar on Jun 7, 2016 18:57:02 GMT
I guess I am a big ole bitch then since I send reminder texts to my 2 siblings often. Of course they thank me since they never remember dates. Sending a reminder doesn't necessarily make you snotty...its all in the delivery:grin:
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Jun 7, 2016 19:06:04 GMT
It's one of those things that I think could easily be read both ways. Try it, it can sound like a bitch or it can sound very nice.
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IAmUnoriginal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
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Post by IAmUnoriginal on Jun 7, 2016 19:06:41 GMT
It sounds a little snotty, OR maybe just as if the bossy oldest sister was saying it. (Can you tell I'm the bossy oldest sister?) I read that as snotty. If it stopped at reminding of the anniversary, then it wouldn't be. I'm the bossy older sister, too. My brothers would reply to that text "Moo, moo Bossy Cow."
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Post by melanell on Jun 7, 2016 19:11:58 GMT
Could be snotty, but maybe not. Depends on the sender. Or the reader.
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Post by disneypal on Jun 7, 2016 19:12:50 GMT
Doesn't sound snotty at all to me....sounds like they were just sending a reminder to everyone in the group.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,570
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Jun 7, 2016 19:13:43 GMT
Unfortunately, some people do use the phrase "care to" in place of "want to", "wish to", "desire to". So there exists the possibility that they were really trying to simply let people know that today is the anniversary if they wanted to say something to the couple. Perhaps it was just a misuse of care versus want or wish. I think it sounds like the sender is saying I am telling you it's mom and dad's anniversary and if I don't remind you you won't call them and wish them a happy day since a)people I have sent this text to have forgotten before or b)I think that just because I have forgotten other people's special days that you will probably forgot theirs.
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Post by pastlifepea on Jun 7, 2016 19:14:18 GMT
Nope...not to me. However, I am not easily offended and have often had people say to me, "OMG, I can't believe so and so said XXXXX to you. You must have been so mad." It's usually passive aggressive stuff that I don't notice probably because I don't do it, so it never occurs to me when other people are.
As far as "care to", I wouldn't be offended by that either. I use that phrasing regularly and mean nothing by it. For example, I'll ask my husband, "Would you care to open that window over there by you?" To me, it's just another way of saying, "Would you please...."
I'd probably just reply thanking them for the reminder.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,348
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jun 7, 2016 19:15:42 GMT
It is from my sister in law whom I have had issues with for the last several years. I read it as totally snotty but I thought maybe it's me. Apparently not since most of you agree with me! It was the line "if you care to" that got me and I was immediately pissed off.
Recently I had to let her know I would not be in attendance for something and she sent me a text that said "as you wish" that also pissed me off!
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,348
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jun 7, 2016 19:18:44 GMT
I assume it was sent to the *children* who should not need any encouragement to acknowledge the event. So my guess is it was meant to be snotty in hopes of shaming someone into acting they way the sender thinks they should. Exactly!
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Post by myboysnme on Jun 7, 2016 19:18:59 GMT
For me it's exactly the same as saying "...if you would like to wish..."
But if you know the sender meant it a certain way then I can imagine saying "if you would like to" could sound snotty too.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 19:29:55 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2016 19:20:21 GMT
No. I send reminders to my sibling like this all the time so they remember to acknowledge birthdays and anniversaries. I'm the oldest. It's in the oldest sister job description.
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Post by melanell on Jun 7, 2016 19:20:40 GMT
If it was truly meant to just be informative, then it's a good reminder to use extra care when choosing the wording for written communication. If I was sending out a reminder about extended pool hours, for instance, I use "care to" to mean "want to", with no issues at all. Just a reminder that due to the high heat index today, the Pleasant Mount Pool will be opening at 7am if you care to come for a swim. Nothing snotty happening, because when talking about an inanimate object--the pool--no one is going to read "care to" to mean something emotional. But when you say "if you care to say Happy Anniversary", you are now referring to human beings, and relationships, and emotion, so when you say "care to", it can now take on some unwritten meaning, such as "if you care enough to" or "if you care ( about them or their special day, and want) to". That's why some of us get ourselves into trouble here. There's little way to be sure of tone. There's little way of being sure of intent. There's, at times, the belief that people are more likely to try to be nasty than not. And then toss in differences in meanings of words & phrases based on location, and we're practically primed and ready for miscommunication at every turn.
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calgal08
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,519
Jun 27, 2014 15:43:46 GMT
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Post by calgal08 on Jun 7, 2016 19:21:55 GMT
I'm usually pretty blunt, but that's snotty.
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