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Post by whopea on Jun 14, 2016 17:11:29 GMT
I'm so sorry your son had to endure that. If he could hear what that kid was saying, couldn't the other players on his bench, his coach, and the umpire hear it, too? Why didn't THEY tell him to shut up so your son didn't have to? I'm glad the coach and some of the players apologized, but I would respect them more if they'd had zero tolerance while it was happening. I agree with this. Personally, I think the opposing team should be forced to forfeit the game. There is no room for that type of behavior in sports.
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Post by mollycoddle on Jun 14, 2016 17:18:25 GMT
We highlighted the positive behavior of the other coach (who we have known in baseball for at least 9 years) and the teammates who came and apologized. The crazy thing is that the dad is FB friends with my DH and the kid has been on our son's team in the past. My DH is filing a complaint against the umpire and trying to get him removed from umpiring any other games for our league. We would love to have the kid banned also but that is less realistic. What happened was unfair and cruel, but I think that you did the right thing by highlighting their behavior. None of them had to apologize; they chose to, which makes their apologies more meaningful. Sadly, there are a few racist asshats still out there. But more and more people seem to be refusing to sit on that bench. Hugs to your boy.
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Post by ilikepink on Jun 14, 2016 17:26:11 GMT
I am outraged for you! How horrible for everyone involved; having the season end like that. Good for you to pull the best out of it - those who stood up for the correct behavior.
When my sons were in the town little league, their final year, they were playing in the championship series (small town/league, only 4 teams..lol) The coaches of the other team (friends/neighbors/fellow scout dads) didn't like our coach, and were determined to win the championship for their kids. To the extreme that the night before the final game (series tied), they went out and bought $400 titanium bats ('cuz the bats are gonna help??). Our coach is a good guy with the attitude of play your best, play like a team, and we will do as well as we can. Of course, we win - and the other coaches were not happy. The teams line up to high five each other, and those two coaches walked the line, but would not shake hands with kids or our coaches and even "flipped the bird" toward our coach at the start of the line. One of those coaches was a police officer in town. Had to then explain to my children respect, sportsmanship and behavior of adults. One of my sons said, "Mom, I've lost respect for that coach. That wasn't right". You don't want that for your children, ever.
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Post by maryland on Jun 14, 2016 17:54:51 GMT
Sorry your son had to hear that jerk! If my daughter was there, she would have wanted to beat some sense into that kid! She has no tolerance for racists!
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Post by shescrafty on Jun 14, 2016 23:01:27 GMT
Thank you all. Our team crushed the other team so at least that was good. Our coach emailed the commissioner and other parents have also done so in defense of our son and also to express their disgust that the other kid was not removed. Hopefully the umpire will be removed and possibly start to understand that what he did was condoning the actions of the child yelling slurs,
My son said he wished he has punched him, but we told him that if that had happened then we would. Not have been able to focus on the umpire and kid and work to get them out of our organization and instead the focus would have been on his actions. Altjpugj in the future if the kid plays again I can't guarantee that my son won't throw one of 85 MPH fastballs at him!
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Post by pierkiss on Jun 14, 2016 23:20:24 GMT
File a complaint about the ump to your league right now. That is a giant ball of crap!!!!
I'm so sorry all of this happened to your son! What a horrible kid those people have on their hands!
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,538
Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
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Post by RosieKat on Jun 14, 2016 23:41:49 GMT
I know the rules sometimes don't say what I think they should say, so I'm going to leave it at if any rules were broken, I hope they are fully enforced. That's just disgusting behavior, but I do also agree with those who were wondering why no one stopped the kid sooner. It kind of sounds like no one cared until it was a problem. No matter what, it's crappy and nasty. lucyg, so first I read your post as saying he was "part-time Cambodian," and I was really trying to figure out how that worked! So if (and when) it comes up, here's something I did when my son when he finally noticed his skin is darker than the rest of ours. (I think he was around 4?) He didn't have a problem with the way he was, it just bugged him that we weren't all the same. By the grace of God, I had both white eggs and brown eggs in the fridge, and I took him out to the kitchen and had him crack one of each into a bowl. The simple demonstration that they were the same on the inside seemed too simple to me, but he was able to go to sleep that night. Next morning, he dragged his Daddy out to the kitchen and showed him very proudly that while some of us are browner on the outside than others, we're the same inside.
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
Posts: 7,799
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Jun 15, 2016 0:54:01 GMT
Congratulations to your son's team! Adults should make certain youth sports are fun & instructional; there should be ZERO TOLERANCE of such unsportsmanlike conduct from everyone involved. Our now-14 y.o. has played various sports since he was 4 y.o. Uncertain the age of your son, but we noticed a change in the attitude of players & their parents at age 10/4th grade; kids, their parents, & the coaches were demeaning kids, & parents were exchanging words & discussing strategies for college scholarships. It certainly was the age when kids chose their sports & learned that not all kids are friends & adults supportive. Our son is often called all sorts of derogatory names, usually by other parents, during AAU tournaments (conversely, the kids - whether playing or watching until their game time - are often well behaved & supportive of their peers). While he has learned over the years to focus on the game & laughs it off, I wear noise-cancelling headphones to not hear the comments hurled at our son (& wish my husband would do the same)! What? I suggest discouraging him from planning to retaliate. Not only is it unsportsmanlike, but it confirms the taunts bother him & guarantees they will continue.
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Post by keesha on Jun 15, 2016 0:58:36 GMT
I am sorry this happened to your son and for all to witness. But you called the other kid "a prick" which is where you lost me.
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Post by lucyg on Jun 15, 2016 1:24:11 GMT
I know the rules sometimes don't say what I think they should say, so I'm going to leave it at if any rules were broken, I hope they are fully enforced. That's just disgusting behavior, but I do also agree with those who were wondering why no one stopped the kid sooner. It kind of sounds like no one cared until it was a problem. No matter what, it's crappy and nasty. lucyg , so first I read your post as saying he was "part-time Cambodian," and I was really trying to figure out how that worked! So if (and when) it comes up, here's something I did when my son when he finally noticed his skin is darker than the rest of ours. (I think he was around 4?) He didn't have a problem with the way he was, it just bugged him that we weren't all the same. By the grace of God, I had both white eggs and brown eggs in the fridge, and I took him out to the kitchen and had him crack one of each into a bowl. The simple demonstration that they were the same on the inside seemed too simple to me, but he was able to go to sleep that night. Next morning, he dragged his Daddy out to the kitchen and showed him very proudly that while some of us are browner on the outside than others, we're the same inside. that! Thanks for sharing. So far he's not complaining, just noticing in passing. We'll see where it goes. This town is very diverse with lots of Asian/Filipino/mixed families, so I don't think he'll ever feel out of place.
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Post by lucyg on Jun 15, 2016 1:29:11 GMT
I am sorry this happened to your son and for all to witness. But you called the other kid "a prick" which is where you lost me. Well, I guess it's a good thing you didn't read my post where I threatened to strangle the first kid who talks that way to my kid. Seriously ... THAT was your takeaway? I'm going to give her a pass on calling the kid who made racist remarks to her son a bad name based on his behavior, not his ethnic makeup, on a message board frequented by adults who don't know her in person. Not to the kid himself, not to his parents, not in front of her kid or anyone else that we know of ... just in this supposedly safe place.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Jun 15, 2016 1:31:11 GMT
That's awful. Kudos to the little racist b**** 's coach for benching him. Maybe he learned a lesson.
I'm sorry your son had that happen to him.
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Post by shescrafty on Jun 15, 2016 3:19:20 GMT
I am sorry this happened to your son and for all to witness. But you called the other kid "a prick" which is where you lost me. The "kid" question is 14 years old and about to enter high school . He is not a young kid who doesn't know better. When you chant about rice and Ching Chong and tell my son to get on a boat and go back to where you came from then you will be called a prick by his mother on a message board. Especially when he was given the opportunity to apologize and instead looked at my son and said in a sing sing voice "I'm sor-reee" in such a nasty manner that another coach had to tell him to walk away from my son. So I'm sorry that I lost you but given the option of what I could say I am ok with calling him a prick. Someone else above asked if there were other adults around and why no one else stopped him. We honestly don't know why they didn't. Apparently the other kids on the team were telling him to knock it off but I don't think he really cares about what anybody else says.
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Post by keesha on Jun 15, 2016 15:11:48 GMT
I want to apologize to you for commenting without knowing details - I was picturing a younger person. And, you were venting here not saying it to his face. I have seen too many kids sporting events get inappropriate and it brought back not so good memories. For those who wonder why no one stopped him I believe this could happen because I have witnessed this behavior before. Baseball (at least in my experience) brought out the worst in what were already not nice people and for some reason it was tolerated.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Jun 15, 2016 16:15:25 GMT
Oh my goodness is that horrible! I am sorry your son, frankly all of you, had to deal with that. I sat here reading your post with my mouth open.
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Post by shescrafty on Jun 15, 2016 17:02:13 GMT
I want to apologize to you for commenting without knowing details - I was picturing a younger person. And, you were venting here not saying it to his face. I have seen too many kids sporting events get inappropriate and it brought back not so good memories. For those who wonder why no one stopped him I believe this could happen because I have witnessed this behavior before. Baseball (at least in my experience) brought out the worst in what were already not nice people and for some reason it was tolerated. Thank you keesha I appreciate it. We have been involved with this organization for 10 years. We have never had anything like this happen before. At this point we have to push forward with our organization because they dint feel like they can do anything to the umpire who ejected our son since it is the end of the season. What we would like (and are working towards) is for that person to not be allowed to umpire for our league anymore in the future. The father of the boy did send my husband an email asking for our family information. We don't know if we even want an apology letter but I do appreciate the father reaching out to us. I am sure he is humiliated. Y his son's behavior (as we would be).
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