Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 5:14:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2016 2:21:58 GMT
The child will go to prison.
What can we do for the family ?
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Post by txdancermom on Jun 18, 2016 2:24:04 GMT
continue to be a friend. they are going to need friends now more than ever.
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Post by danor98 on Jun 18, 2016 2:28:49 GMT
Talk about him, ask about him, don't pretend like he doesn't exist anymore. If your friend doesn't want to talk about him, she will tell you. He/she is still her child and your friend still loves her child...be a good friend  |
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Post by mom on Jun 18, 2016 3:34:24 GMT
Keep doing what you've always done....dont act any different. Ask about their child. Be nonjudgemental.
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Post by mlynn on Jun 18, 2016 5:53:58 GMT
There was a woman, Leslie, that I knew through my uncle. Her son David was incarcerated...vehicular homicide, if I remember correctly. It was a hefty sentence too. I moved out of the area, but on a visit back home I ran into her at a restaurant. I asked how she was and then asked after her son. You should have seen the look on her face. She said no one ever asks her about David. So I would say, ask about the son just like you would if he were not incarcerated.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jun 18, 2016 12:07:12 GMT
I'll echo the previous posters and say to still ask about their child. Listen about their grief in missing their kid. Be there for them.
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Post by mellowyellow on Jun 18, 2016 12:10:28 GMT
My nephew is in prison and it looks like he will be there for quite some time. I know it's different since he is family but I write him, send him cards and money so he can buy the things he needs. No one else writes him. He's made some really bad decisions but he had a really bad childhood. His dad drank himself to death and his mom has always just had her head in the clouds. My nephew tells me all the time how much he appreciates me writing him.
I would do like the others have said. Ask about him. Ask if there is anything he needs. Maybe write him.
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sueg
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,050
Location: Munich
Apr 12, 2016 12:51:01 GMT
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Post by sueg on Jun 18, 2016 12:14:01 GMT
Is there going to be a trial? If so, your friend will likely need support during that time, whether she decides to attend or not. If she is attending, does she need/want company, or could you help with meals or other household chores to keep things running smoothly on the home front.
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Post by Penellopy on Jun 18, 2016 12:15:23 GMT
I work with a woman who's son is on Death Row. She got the call at work when the incident happened. We stood with the family as they have gone through the trials, sentencing, and appeals. We all still ask from time to time how he is doing. How they are doing. If there is anything they need, we are all there to lean on. She told me through the ordeal, they were shunned and talked about by some, but they were grateful for those that still continue to support them, ask about him. She told me it is nice to have those she can talk to without being judged for what he did. He is still her son.
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 18, 2016 14:25:55 GMT
Talk about him, ask about him, don't pretend like he doesn't exist anymore. If your friend doesn't want to talk about him, she will tell you. He/she is still her child and your friend still loves her child...be a good friend Yes, reach out to your friend. Our DS was arrested at 18 for something he did that was just plain stupid. I'll never forget the one person that asked about him and us, from our group of parents we were friends with through his friends. It meant so much to me. I wish more people had asked, as most of the rumors were not true (based on what our DD was hearing at school). |
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Post by mom2jnk on Jun 18, 2016 15:44:08 GMT
Talk about him, ask about him, don't pretend like he doesn't exist anymore. If your friend doesn't want to talk about him, she will tell you. He/she is still her child and your friend still loves her child...be a good friend Yes, reach out to your friend. Our DS was arrested at 18 for something he did that was just plain stupid. I'll never forget the one person that asked about him and us, from our group of parents we were friends with through his friends. It meant so much to me. I wish more people had asked, as most of the rumors were not true (based on what our DD was hearing at school). I second this. Please reach out to your friend, ask them what you can do for them. Take your friend out to lunch or coffee, ask about her child, send her a text.
Most importantly, make it a priority to be visible and vocal in your support for them. It matters!
Our DS struggles with depression and during one particular bad spell, so many of the people that were in our friend group completely walked away from us and were on the forefront of the horrible rumor machine in our town and school. The betrayal of these people during one of the lowest points in our family's life cut more deeply than the depression. Be a friend now. They need you.
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 19, 2016 12:28:02 GMT
Yes, reach out to your friend. Our DS was arrested at 18 for something he did that was just plain stupid. I'll never forget the one person that asked about him and us, from our group of parents we were friends with through his friends. It meant so much to me. I wish more people had asked, as most of the rumors were not true (based on what our DD was hearing at school). I second this. Please reach out to your friend, ask them what you can do for them. Take your friend out to lunch or coffee, ask about her child, send her a text.
Most importantly, make it a priority to be visible and vocal in your support for them. It matters!
Our DS struggles with depression and during one particular bad spell, so many of the people that were in our friend group completely walked away from us and were on the forefront of the horrible rumor machine in our town and school. The betrayal of these people during one of the lowest points in our family's life cut more deeply than the depression. Be a friend now. They need you.
Oh, boy, that is awful. I'm sorry. The rumors were so hard on our DD, who was still in HS at the time. They were so ridiculous and far from the truth. |
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Post by maryland on Jun 19, 2016 13:35:49 GMT
That must be so hard! I would just be there for your friend and let her talk about her daughter/son when she wants to. She will probably appreciate someone who supports her without judging.
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828 
Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on Jun 19, 2016 16:14:23 GMT
Just be the same friend you have always been.
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
Posts: 3,074
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Jun 19, 2016 16:33:57 GMT
There was a woman, Leslie, that I knew through my uncle. Her son David was incarcerated...vehicular homicide, if I remember correctly. It was a hefty sentence too. I moved out of the area, but on a visit back home I ran into her at a restaurant. I asked how she was and then asked after her son. You should have seen the look on her face. She said no one ever asks her about David. So I would say, ask about the son just like you would if he were not incarcerated. This. And you might want to tell her that if she'd rather not discuss it that that's OK, too. I would assume that there's some embarrassment associated with having a child who's in prison. She may just want to talk about it with someone who will listen and not be judgmental. |
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