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Post by Chips on Jun 20, 2016 14:16:19 GMT
Asking for a friend - WWYD but first the back story.
My friend's family member gave her some furniture 8 or 9 years ago. Family member was moving into smaller home and could not fit this furniture in their new place. Friend rents a van and moves furniture to her home. Over the years friend has said to family member that if they want said furniture back they are more than welcome to come and get it.
Other the years Friend and her family member sometimes have a very strained relationship and it is currently strained. Family member now wants this furniture back. Friend reminds family member that she has said to family member that she is welcome to come and get this furniture.
Well family member denies that friend every said this and in the process is telling the family that friend refuses to return the furniture. My friend is very hurt by this and feels that family member is just out to make her look bad.
Part of me wants to tell friend that she's had the furniture for years and she can do with it as she pleases i.e. donate it, sell it or put it at the curb.
WWYD?
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Post by mari on Jun 20, 2016 14:20:06 GMT
I would give the family member a deadline to pick up the furniture if they wanted it back. I would put the message in writing (text, email, or letter). After the deadline, I would no longer entertain discussion about the furniture.
I'm glad my friends/family members aren't this petty.
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Post by Merge on Jun 20, 2016 14:21:18 GMT
If I were friend, I would hire someone to load up the furniture and drop it off in family member's front yard.
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,417 
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Post by YooHoot on Jun 20, 2016 14:22:12 GMT
I would give the family member a deadline to pick up the furniture if they wanted it back. I would put the message in writing (text, email, or letter). After the deadline, I would no longer entertain discussion about the furniture. I'm glad my friends/family members aren't this petty. That. Tell them to come get it or it will be donated by XX date. I wouldn't want something in my home that caused me stress and anxiety. |
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,129
Location: New York, NY
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Post by christinec68 on Jun 20, 2016 14:24:36 GMT
If I were friend, I would hire someone to load up the furniture and drop it off in family member's front yard. This^^^ It's ridiculous the family is making trouble for your friend with other people. So giving the furniture back will shut it down. |
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jun 20, 2016 14:29:28 GMT
Whether the relationship is strained at present or not, both parties agreed the furniture would be returned if the original owner ever wanted it back. So... return it.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Jun 20, 2016 14:33:12 GMT
I would take a picture of said furniture on fire in my front yard and send it in my Christmas cards.
LOL
Actually, I'd probably tell them they have until XX day to come get it or I'm giving it to good will. I'd never hold on to someone else's belongings for that long ever again either. That's bullshit. If they want it and don't have room, rent a storage unit.
I'd be sure to yell "YOU'RE WELCOME" as they drove away.
I also would never speak to the asshole again.
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Post by Chips on Jun 20, 2016 14:37:04 GMT
Whether the relationship is strained at present or not, both parties agreed the furniture would be returned if the original owner ever wanted it back. So... return it. My friend was given the furniture and My friend was being nice over the years saying if you want it back it's yours but family member said to keep it. Sorry that was not clearer. |
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Post by secondlife on Jun 20, 2016 14:42:45 GMT
So what I'm getting here is that Joey and Jane gave Kate a piece of furniture, Kate said if you ever want it back let me know, it didn't fit in Kate's new house so she gave it to Laurie, and now Joey and Jane are mad at Kate for giving the furniture to Laurie?
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Post by Chips on Jun 20, 2016 14:52:51 GMT
So what I'm getting here is that Joey and Jane gave Kate a piece of furniture, Kate said if you ever want it back let me know, it didn't fit in Kate's new house so she gave it to Laurie, and now Joey and Jane are mad at Kate for giving the furniture to Laurie? Leave out the Joey and Jane part. Furniture did not fit in Kate's new house so she gave it to Laurie. Laurie still has it and over the 8 or 9 years has offered it back to Kate but Kate said no. Now Kate wants it back. |
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 20, 2016 14:55:33 GMT
Tell her to come and get it, it will be awaiting her arrival in the driveway, front lawn, front porch...
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Post by oliquig on Jun 20, 2016 14:57:43 GMT
Tell Kate she is welcome to come get it when it is convenient to Laurie. Yes Kate is being snooty and mean about it, there really isn't anything Laurie can do to fix it.
Although a bonfire would be fun! Lol!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 20, 2016 14:59:43 GMT
We had a similar situation with my mom's 14 year old car. My brother had been driving it because he lived with mom and she couldn't drive anymore. After she died, no one else wanted the car and it wasn't worth much so most of us thought brother should be able to keep it. Well, my one sister (the executor of the estate) felt differently and said that if he wanted it he could pay the estate $2K for it, which he didn't have and which was more than what it was actually worth. So he told her thanks but no thanks, come get it. If he were to drive it out to her house, he wouldn't have any way to get back and she lives a half hour away from everybody else. She didn't go get it, so it sat in his driveway for months until the license tabs on it expired and then he REALLY didn't want to drive it anywhere. I think he ended up driving it over there in the middle of the night and left it blocking her driveway with the keys under the mat because even after all of that she was still going to take the $2K out of his part of the inheritance. Nice.  I think with the situation in the OP, if I was the friend I would let the relative know that I was putting the stuff out in my front yard at a specific time and date, and if they didn't make arrangements to come get it on or before that time I'd be putting a curb alert on Craigslist the next morning. I wouldn't go out of my way or at my expense to give it back, if they want the stuff they can come get it themselves. |
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Post by whopea on Jun 20, 2016 15:00:35 GMT
If I were friend, I'd put this statement in writing "Your furniture will be available on the driveway on <date / time>. If it is not removed within six hours, it will be donated."
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Jun 20, 2016 15:00:53 GMT
And how does she know that the original furniture owner is telling the other family members she won't return the furniture? If they are repeating this to her, she just needs to say up front that she has offered to return it many times over the years. Then she should tell original furniture owner she needs to come and get it ASAP and be done with her. Life is too short to put up with cr@p like this.
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Post by SockMonkey on Jun 20, 2016 15:01:28 GMT
For sure I would call the family member and say, "I'd like to drop off your furniture. Does tomorrow work for you?"
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Post by secondlife on Jun 20, 2016 15:01:40 GMT
So what I'm getting here is that Joey and Jane gave Kate a piece of furniture, Kate said if you ever want it back let me know, it didn't fit in Kate's new house so she gave it to Laurie, and now Joey and Jane are mad at Kate for giving the furniture to Laurie? Leave out the Joey and Jane part. Furniture did not fit in Kate's new house so she gave it to Laurie. Laurie still has it and over the 8 or 9 years has offered it back to Kate but Kate said no. Now Kate wants it back. Seems to me if I gave someone something nearly a decade ago the time might have passed to ask for it back. Is it an heirloom of some sort? |
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Post by Chips on Jun 20, 2016 15:05:20 GMT
Leave out the Joey and Jane part. Furniture did not fit in Kate's new house so she gave it to Laurie. Laurie still has it and over the 8 or 9 years has offered it back to Kate but Kate said no. Now Kate wants it back. Seems to me if I gave someone something nearly a decade ago the time might have passed to ask for it back. Is it an heirloom of some sort? It is not an heirloom at all - it was purchased at a garage/estate sale. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 14, 2024 11:16:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2016 15:12:03 GMT
Well.....Your friend kept saying if you want it back, it's yours. How can she complain now that the original owner actually took her up on it? This is a no brainer. Give it back.
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Post by miominmio on Jun 20, 2016 15:13:15 GMT
If Kate repeatedly has said she didn't want it back, it is now Laurie's. If Laurie wants to give it back, that's entirely her decision, but I have to admit there is no way I would do it in this scenario. A bonfire would be fun....it is summer solstice after all.  |
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Post by disneypal on Jun 20, 2016 15:15:35 GMT
Family member now wants this furniture back. Friend reminds family member that she has said to family member that she is welcome to come and get this furniture. It seems like a simple solution. If the friend is willing to return the furniture and the family member wants it back - the friend should just say - sure....come get it - just let me know when you are coming so I can make sure to have it ready for you. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 20, 2016 15:18:50 GMT
Well.....Your friend kept saying if you want it back, it's yours. How can she complain now that the original owner actually took her up on it? This is a no brainer. Give it back. She said come pick it up and the original owner won't go get it, but has been lying and complaining on social media that the friend won't give it back. If the original owner really wants it back they should just go get it and be done, not try to make the recipient look like a jerk to everyone they mutually know online. |
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Jun 20, 2016 15:22:51 GMT
Laurie still has it and over the 8 or 9 years has offered it back to Kate but Kate said no. If Laurie has constantly told Kate that if she wants it back she can come get it then why is she complaining when Kate takes her up on it? It seems simple to me. Don't offer to give it back if you're going to pitch a fit when you're taken up on your offer! |
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,665
Location: Ohio
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Post by StephDRebel on Jun 20, 2016 15:34:40 GMT
I don't believe anyone really gives a dang about a ten year old couch that was purchased from a yard sale over 10 years ago unless the cushions are stuffed with hundred dollar bills.
I would advise her to have a conversation and find out what the real issue is.
It's crazy how much nonsense in life would be avoided by having a 15 minute conversation that might be uncomfortable.
People are willing to be uncomfortable and live with tension for this long in order to avoid conversations that could make life so much easier.
There is a chance there isn't something else to talk about, but if there isn't...someone being that big an ass over a yard sale couch that no one really cares about is a pretty clear sign that someone should move on.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Jun 20, 2016 15:36:49 GMT
Well.....Your friend kept saying if you want it back, it's yours. How can she complain now that the original owner actually took her up on it? This is a no brainer. Give it back. She said come pick it up and the original owner won't go get it, but has been lying and complaining on social media that the friend won't give it back. If the original owner really wants it back they should just go get it and be done, not try to make the recipient look like a jerk to everyone they mutually know online. Post on social media. "I have repeatedly offered it over the years and you repeatedly said no. If you really want the furniture now, please let me know when you will come in the next two weeks to pick it up. Bring a truck and people to help move it." |
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Post by christine58 on Jun 20, 2016 15:48:15 GMT
If I were friend, I would hire someone to load up the furniture and drop it off in family member's front yard. YUP!!!!! |
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 20, 2016 15:51:32 GMT
She said come pick it up and the original owner won't go get it, but has been lying and complaining on social media that the friend won't give it back. If the original owner really wants it back they should just go get it and be done, not try to make the recipient look like a jerk to everyone they mutually know online. Post on social media. "I have repeatedly offered it over the years and you repeatedly said no. If you really want the furniture now, please let me know when you will come in the next two weeks to pick it up. Bring a truck and people to help move it." THIS. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 14, 2024 11:16:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2016 15:56:23 GMT
I'd load it up and put it on their yard/driveway/wherever. I wouldn't want it in my home a second longer.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Jun 20, 2016 15:56:47 GMT
Laurie still has it and over the 8 or 9 years has offered it back to Kate but Kate said no. If Laurie has constantly told Kate that if she wants it back she can come get it then why is she complaining when Kate takes her up on it? It seems simple to me. Don't offer to give it back if you're going to pitch a fit when you're taken up on your offer! Laurie isn't pitching a fit, she told Kate to come and get it which Kate refuses to do. In the meantime Kate is talking smack about Laurie to mutual friends. |
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Post by epeanymous on Jun 20, 2016 15:59:42 GMT
Meh, there isn't anything you can really do in that situation.
If you spend money and rent a van or hire movers or whatever, they will complain that you left the precious furniture in their yard.
If you white glove it into their house, they'll complain that you dinged their walls and that you ruined the furniture while you had it.
If you tell them they can come get it, they won't, but they'll complain you won't bring it back.
It's not about the furniture.
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