Post by cycworker on Aug 2, 2014 19:56:55 GMT
My uncle died of cancer yesterday (Friday) morning. It was a very surreal experience, the way it happened. I've actually been trying to post since last night.
When I got up my mother called. I was stupid, in that I should have clued in she was in an exceptionally bad mood, because she started in on me right away, to the point of hanging up on me. I think we did that 3 times before I finally had the sense to disengage.
So as I was about to leave, my phone rang and it was a friend of mine. I should've told her I'd call her later, but I knew she was upset. So we talked. Thank God I finally got her off the phone when I did, as I would have been too late otherwise. I've been beating myself up about that a bit. I mean, I did make it in time, but I could've been there 20 minutes earlier.
Got there & the doctor was there. He said something about how it could be next Tuesday before he past (passed?) and that we needed to not burn ourselves out, etc, and take shifts, etc., etc. There was this sigh from my uncle only a couple of us noticed. In good Eastern European fashion, the women all kept nattering away after the Dr. left. Finally someone noticed that he seemed to not be breathing... no blanket movement. He basically died as he lived, quietly in the background. He liked it that way. We always seemed to understand each other... he was the only one who could get away with teasing me re: how reserved I can be at times (esp where hugs & such are concerned).
He died, oh 10:45 in the morning. We hung out in the room until the funeral guys came at 1:00 pm. Well, they did. I was in and out, texting my brother, also contacting a few family members who were at work. My mother's phone doesn't have texting and she wouldn't know how to use it if she did. Let me tell you, playing go between for Ma & Bro was fun.
I think this experience has hit him re: the one thing that does suck about them living 3 provinces away. And it doesn't help that the 3 of them went away for the weekend to Minot, North Dakota.
Actually, in all seriousness, the one nice thing is that it has rejuvenated my closeness with my brother. I think we'll finally get into a groove re: keeping in touch better now that I text & have his [HASH].
The funeral planning is getting complicated, but they will figure it out. I am staying so far away from those conversations...
I'm just showing up where I'm told, in the clothes I'm told to wear. 
Now, normally I don't let my mother give me wardrobe suggestions, but hey... if it makes her day easier, what the hell... I'll survive. I'll even wear make up, even though I absolutely hate how it feels on my face in this weather (it's hot right now... mid 80s and up).
On another note: What is in Minot, North Dakota that would make someone want to drive 10 hours from Saskatchewan? LOL!
When I got up my mother called. I was stupid, in that I should have clued in she was in an exceptionally bad mood, because she started in on me right away, to the point of hanging up on me. I think we did that 3 times before I finally had the sense to disengage.
So as I was about to leave, my phone rang and it was a friend of mine. I should've told her I'd call her later, but I knew she was upset. So we talked. Thank God I finally got her off the phone when I did, as I would have been too late otherwise. I've been beating myself up about that a bit. I mean, I did make it in time, but I could've been there 20 minutes earlier.
Got there & the doctor was there. He said something about how it could be next Tuesday before he past (passed?) and that we needed to not burn ourselves out, etc, and take shifts, etc., etc. There was this sigh from my uncle only a couple of us noticed. In good Eastern European fashion, the women all kept nattering away after the Dr. left. Finally someone noticed that he seemed to not be breathing... no blanket movement. He basically died as he lived, quietly in the background. He liked it that way. We always seemed to understand each other... he was the only one who could get away with teasing me re: how reserved I can be at times (esp where hugs & such are concerned).
He died, oh 10:45 in the morning. We hung out in the room until the funeral guys came at 1:00 pm. Well, they did. I was in and out, texting my brother, also contacting a few family members who were at work. My mother's phone doesn't have texting and she wouldn't know how to use it if she did. Let me tell you, playing go between for Ma & Bro was fun.
I think this experience has hit him re: the one thing that does suck about them living 3 provinces away. And it doesn't help that the 3 of them went away for the weekend to Minot, North Dakota. Actually, in all seriousness, the one nice thing is that it has rejuvenated my closeness with my brother. I think we'll finally get into a groove re: keeping in touch better now that I text & have his [HASH].
The funeral planning is getting complicated, but they will figure it out. I am staying so far away from those conversations...
I'm just showing up where I'm told, in the clothes I'm told to wear. 
Now, normally I don't let my mother give me wardrobe suggestions, but hey... if it makes her day easier, what the hell... I'll survive. I'll even wear make up, even though I absolutely hate how it feels on my face in this weather (it's hot right now... mid 80s and up). On another note: What is in Minot, North Dakota that would make someone want to drive 10 hours from Saskatchewan? LOL!
I do think that just your brother coming is the most practical thing.