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Post by bluepoprocks on Jun 23, 2016 0:03:27 GMT
An ex co worker invited me to her wedding. I have known her for a little over a year and I've know the person she is marrying since we were children. I don't know if how long I've know them matters. I want to give them a money gift because they have lived together forever and don't need anything plus who doesn't like money. I was thinking $50 would be good but someone else told me I should give $100. Do you think I'm being cheap should I give $100?
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Post by myshelly on Jun 23, 2016 0:08:40 GMT
Totally depends on your own personal financial situation.
Personally, for me, a $100 is in the only for close family category.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:45:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 0:11:42 GMT
I think $50 is fine based on your friendship.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 0:45:11 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2016 0:12:08 GMT
Is she only inviting you or you + a guest?
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Post by hollymolly on Jun 23, 2016 0:12:40 GMT
Unless that somebody else is in charge of your finances, they don't get a say. Do what you feel comfortable with.
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Post by bluepoprocks on Jun 23, 2016 0:19:01 GMT
Is she only inviting you or you + a guest? I'm going by myself.
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Post by Chips on Jun 23, 2016 0:23:51 GMT
A gift should be an amount that your able to give. I have been to weddings that have been parties in the backyard and then black tie extravagant events. I am not the "rich person" who can give tons of money but I do give what I can. Do I give more when the event is extravagant - yes.
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Post by littlemama on Jun 23, 2016 0:28:21 GMT
Whatever you feel comfortable with and can comfortably afford. 50 is fine if that is affordable. If not, 25 is fine, too. 100 would be a very close family member for us.
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,969
Jan 4, 2015 1:47:52 GMT
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Post by AnotherPea on Jun 23, 2016 0:55:23 GMT
A gift should be an amount that your able to give. I have been to weddings that have been parties in the backyard and then black tie extravagant events. I am not the "rich person" who can give tons of money but I do give what I can. Do I give more when the event is extravagant - yes. I agree with most of this. But how extravagant the event is has no bearing on my gift. I'm not who believes the cover your plate bit.
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
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Jun 27, 2014 4:11:36 GMT
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Jun 23, 2016 1:06:21 GMT
I'm of the school of thought that the giver should give a gift that they can afford. If you can comfortably afford $75-50, that's what I'd give.
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Post by myshelly on Jun 23, 2016 1:08:10 GMT
A gift should be an amount that your able to give. I have been to weddings that have been parties in the backyard and then black tie extravagant events. I am not the "rich person" who can give tons of money but I do give what I can. Do I give more when the event is extravagant - yes. How extravagant the event is has NOTHING to do with what I give. I really don't get that.
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Post by annabella on Jun 23, 2016 1:15:42 GMT
$50-$100
When my friend got married last year and had been living with her husband for years, she still complained that she got few gifts. I guess she wanted to experience of opening presents.
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Post by Woobster on Jun 23, 2016 1:18:28 GMT
Totally depends on who is getting married, and what we can afford. It can range anywhere from $50-$200. Most are on the lower end of that.
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Post by Really Red on Jun 23, 2016 1:27:49 GMT
I usually give $100, but for a distantish co-worker, it would probably be $50. That is a fine gift.
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Post by KikiPea on Jun 23, 2016 2:23:49 GMT
I do not have a set price, no matter who it is. I will pay whatever I can afford at the time of the wedding.
My brother got married last July, and I spent probably a total of $75, MAYBE $100 on their gifts. I would never spend that much on an ex-coworker.
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,560
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Jun 23, 2016 2:24:52 GMT
I remember when we got married a family friend on my husband's side, his mom sent us a cheque for $25. She wasn't even invited to the wedding! Just a small town, everyone know everyone and I guess she felt like she wanted to. And I still remember that "small" amount from this elderly lady living off her pension. Just like I remember the people who gave us cheques with 3 digit numbers.
It's not a contest, give what you feel comfortable with/can afford.
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The Birdhouse Lady
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Moose. It's what's for dinner.
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Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jun 23, 2016 3:59:25 GMT
I think 50 bucks and a nice card is totally acceptable!
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Post by ~summer~ on Jun 23, 2016 4:02:27 GMT
someone I'm not close to = $50 Someone I am close to = $100-150 Someone I'm close to and our entire family of 5 attends wedding = $150-200
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Post by smokeynspike on Jun 23, 2016 5:35:47 GMT
I don't care who you are, $50 is usually the most I will do for a gift. If you are just a casual acquaintance, you will get a gift off of your registry that costs $20-$25.
That being said, weddings around here don't cost a lot, for most people. And I don't subscribe to the pay-for-your-plate idea either.
Melissa
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Post by bluepoprocks on Jun 23, 2016 19:20:29 GMT
I think I'm going to go with the $50. I'm not that close with her. I've known the person she's marrying for over 30 years but we have never been close either. I'm only going because she doesn't have a lot of family and was talking about how sad it was that she didn't have hardly anyone on her side while the other person has a huge family.
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Post by chirpingcricket on Jun 23, 2016 19:27:14 GMT
I was thinking that you should let the price of a place setting of china help you decide, but then I looked up a random Lenox place setting, and the booger was $186!!!! Noooo!!! So, yes, I think $50 is fine. Oh, my goodness. I clearly haven't been invited to any weddings in twenty years.
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Post by wrongwayfeldman on Jun 23, 2016 21:09:26 GMT
Hijacking here for a minute to ask the Peas what you think of this scenario: a co-worker recently told me about a wedding she attended a few months ago. It was very formal, out of town, and the reception sounded beautiful. She not only attended the wedding, but a breakfast the next morning and a bbq before departing the next afternoon. She raved about the amount of food, the music, the venue, and the lovely hotel they got for a song because of the group rate. When she mentioned that she brought her sister along, as well as her adult daughter, I asked if they all three were invited or just her? She said only her, but she didn't want to go alone so she brought the two of them without a thought. Of course, nosy me, I asked what gifts they all brought, and she told me that she alone gave a check for $25. I was surprised at the small amount of her gift, knowing she was spending the weekend at so many events that would be of little cost to her otherwise. Her sister and daughter did NOT bring a gift. She basically got a spa-like weekend for the cost of a $100 hotel room. She said there was no way she would ever pay more than $25 for a wedding gift, no matter the size of the event. I felt like since she basically had three meals on the bride and groom, this was a case where the "cover your plate" rule would certainly apply.
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Post by caspad on Jun 23, 2016 21:25:38 GMT
wrongwayfeldman I don't think the price of your co-worker's present needed to match the amount of meals served to her. I do need clarification on the two extra people situation. Did the daughter and sister just come to hang out at the hotel with your co-worker? Or did they also attend the reception and breakfast? I have no problem with three people splitting a hotel room. Heck, I have no problem with the other two watching the ceremony and then going out for dinner on their own. But unless they were invited, they should not have crashed the reception or any of the other festivities. (Unless someone said "hey, your sister and daughter should join us for breakfast/bbq. We have tons of food ordered!)
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Post by Citygirl on Jun 23, 2016 21:28:04 GMT
Personal choice, but per plate costs usually start at $50 these days (for those of you who haven't planned or paid for a wedding recently). Not talking about a backyard BBQ either.
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,649
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:09 GMT
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Post by basketdiva on Jun 23, 2016 23:08:51 GMT
Personal choice, but per plate costs usually start at $50 these days (for those of you who haven't planned or paid for a wedding recently). Not talking about a backyard BBQ either. Do you mean the cost of the gift should/must equal the cost of the meal provided? If I followed that therory for the wedding this weekend, my gift cost would be $10-$15.
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Post by pierkiss on Jun 23, 2016 23:53:27 GMT
We're going to my husbands cousins wedding this Saturday. I have never met this cousin, and I don't think my husband has seen her since he was like 10, if that old. I'm getting her a $50 gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond and calling it good. You give what you want to give and can afford. Don't let other people dictate what you should do.
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Post by Citygirl on Jun 23, 2016 23:55:59 GMT
Never used the words "should" or "must". It's a personal choice. Some people do like to cover the cost of their plate plus extra for the bride and groom. Never been to a catered event that cost $10/plate. My guess is neither have you.
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basketdiva
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Jun 26, 2014 11:45:09 GMT
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Post by basketdiva on Jun 24, 2016 0:47:34 GMT
Not a catered affair. It's an early afternoon wedding with a dessert bar ( and some light appetizers), no alcohol and most of the food prepared by family. Friends are helping with the serving.
I agree it's a personal choice and was just seeking a bit of clarification.
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scorpeao
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Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Jun 24, 2016 1:22:30 GMT
I'd say $50....unless you are a 1%'er, then you're being cheap
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Post by bluepoprocks on Jun 24, 2016 2:14:50 GMT
I'd say $50....unless you are a 1%'er, then you're being cheap I haven't gotten around to checking my Powerball ticket yet. Maybe I should do that before I decided for sure.
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