Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 8:15:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 0:55:55 GMT
It definitely was not the norm in my circle, but was talking to a couple that I became friends with as an adult, and the husband told me that both he and his wife were expected to leave home at 18.
I think that in his case it was a little bit of a rocky situation, but in the wife's case, it was just a matter of finances and space in her family home.
I wonder how many here were expected to or told to leave at 18?
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,987 
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Post by Nanner on Aug 3, 2014 1:02:23 GMT
We were not, but I did have a friend who was. It really saddened me.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 3, 2014 1:05:27 GMT
Nope.
Not me or my DH.
Nor do I expect (or even want) my kids to.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,408
Location: Dallas Texas
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Post by SabrinaP on Aug 3, 2014 1:07:07 GMT
I was expected to go to college, but my parents would have let me live there during college.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 1:13:23 GMT
I graduated and moved out before my 16th birthday. I did move back in for a couple of months around 18, but only because my place was being taken over for imminent domain demolition and I hadn't found a new one yet.
It wasn't that we were expected to leave home at/by 18 or any other age. My dad was recovering from a massive stroke (at age 39!) and my mom was going through menopause and I was a teenager with a huge attitude. It was a pretty ugly scene with three people with the emotional capability of thirteen year olds. SO... since I could, I did. It worked out well, mostly, and we all became much closer to each other with having the distance.
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Post by mightyme on Aug 3, 2014 1:28:09 GMT
Not in my family. But ds, gf was. Well they actually changed their mind. But they had pretty much had her moving out after graduation. Not sure what made them change maybe it was ds. Who still lives at home.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 8:15:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 1:46:10 GMT
My parents always said we were welcome to live in their home as long as we wanted to, provided we showed them respect and cleaned up after ourselves. Stuff like that. My brothers stayed until they got married. One was 21, the other was 19. I stayed until I was 26, when I took a job out of state. My husband's mother once told me she asked him to move out when he graduated from high school because she needed his room for their foster children. DH told me he moved out voluntarily to get away from her domineering ways. I believe his version. |
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Post by Linda on Aug 3, 2014 1:55:01 GMT
I was expected to pay rent (below market value) if I lived at home after I turned 18. I moved out (to college) shortly before turning 18 and moved back in for 8-ish months when I was 20/21 (basically summer plus fall semester - I had my son that Oct) and yes, paid rent. My son pays rent (only $150/month plus cooks one dinner/wk (on his dime) for the family and has chores). We didn't charge the rent part while he was attending school full-time (he graduated high school at 18y7m and community college at 20y7m - we started charging rent the month before he turned 22). The idea is that once he moves out on his own he will be responsible for paying rent, buying and making meals (and one dinner for a family of 5 is roughly equivalent to a week's dinners for a single) and taking care of his place (chores) so this is practise  |
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Post by bdawnb on Aug 3, 2014 2:02:03 GMT
Ha! My mother was upset when I moved out when I was twenty. I had a perfectly good home, why would I want to leave? 
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Post by joylynaroundthebnd on Aug 3, 2014 2:04:26 GMT
No, I was not told to leave, but left when I married DH at 21. He however was told that he needed to go to college or move out. He joined the AF and went to Basic 2 weeks later. (Age 20)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 2:04:35 GMT
I moved out when I was 17. I had just graduated, my mom was taking a nap, and I just left. It was an abusive home and I didn't thing that there was any other alternative. I had graduated and I was done.
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Post by mama2three on Aug 3, 2014 2:07:42 GMT
Ha! My mother was upset when I moved out when I was twenty. I had a perfectly good home, why would I want to leave?
My mother still holds this over me - that I never moved back in like her friends' kids did (and my sister did) after college. She still says that maybe she shouldn't have let me go away to college. She wants to know why I never moved back "home", and would I consider it? Um, I have a house, DH, 3 kids, cats, dog, & a job in a different state....I am not moving back in with her.
ETA - I was not expected to leave, but we were expected to go to college. My mom had lived at home during college, so she was surprised when I didn't want to do that (my college was over 2 hrs from home) and surprised when I didn't move home afterward (I wasn't turning down a full ride for grad school in another state).
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Post by gonewalkabout on Aug 3, 2014 2:20:26 GMT
I left after high school, when I was married (in Australia) and came to the US.
We are still welcome to live at home, even after being gone for a very long time. My parents didn't believe in making kids leave, and in any given situation, we all know we can go back. We are expected to pay board though, the amount depends on the situation. I have the same belief. I couldn't make my kids leave.
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387
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Post by cycworker on Aug 3, 2014 2:26:36 GMT
Not us. I didn't leave until 27, but that was due to lack of accessible housing. My brother moved out around age 22.
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Post by chaosisapony on Aug 3, 2014 2:26:42 GMT
I was not expected to leave at 18. I was expected to go to school and living rent free was my parent's way of helping me do that. I stayed at home until I was 24 when I had been able to save up a down payment and bought a condo.
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Post by peasapie on Aug 3, 2014 2:30:04 GMT
I was expected to stay home, go to college (not allowed to live at college) and then either get married or get a job, live at home and pay rent. My parents were very, very strict and didn't approve of me living on my own, so I got married after college just to get out of the house - never a good thing.
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Post by librarylady on Aug 3, 2014 2:35:29 GMT
I was definately NOT told/hinted that I had to leave. Going to college was strongly encouraged/expected. So, I graduated in May and entered college in September. After college I found a job--happened to be in another city--and I never returned to live in my parent's home. (Same for 2 siblings)
When our son was in his teens, things were turbulent. (short version of what happened) We told him if he was not going to college he could stay at home, but had to pay rent ($100/mo). Eventually he kept creating drama and we told him he had to move out. He was angry and didn't believe me. We had reached a breaking point. He moved in with his best friend's family....stayed a year and then came home. He was willing to act responsibly then and we were all happy. He stayed home 3 years and then joined the Navy....and has not returned to live with us.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 2:57:40 GMT
I was 18. I was expected to go to college, which I did, and that was the permanent move out. I did spend a little time there over winter break/Thanksgiving - because, again - I was told I must be there - I did not spend much, if any, summers/breaks at home. I certainly did not 'live' there; all of my stuff was in a dorm or apartment. My college education was not funded by my parents. Had I chosen not to attend college, I was expected to move out and get a full time job. I was always told I could move back in in the event I was washed out/failed/was broke/etc. but somehow that always seemed more like a threat/torture device than a safe haven. Frankly, any time it was brought up, the thought always propelled me forward and I figured out my problems. So, anyway, I was forced to be out of the house and self-sufficent at 18. OTOH, I am a heck a creative problem solver with a lot of common sense, and I can certainly take care of myself.  |
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