Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:38:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2014 22:50:37 GMT
And this completes the traditional "TwoPeas Bell Curve Response to Craziness:"
Phase 1 - all the nice peas offer sympathy and condolences Phase 2 - the cynics come out and call Bullshit Phase 3 - then doubt sets in, and the nice responses resurface.
Depending on the thread, repeat several times.
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Post by Aheartfeltcard on Aug 4, 2014 22:51:51 GMT
The behavior whether real or embellished makes me feel sorry for her.
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AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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hello
Aug 4, 2014 23:00:20 GMT
Post by AmeliaBloomer on Aug 4, 2014 23:00:20 GMT
Wow - lots of drama this weekend! I have questions about some of the things mentioned here. First off - someone contacted Mrs. Tyler's employer? Really? When did this happen and did anyone figure out who it was? That is completely unbelievable to me (not that I am doubting the story - but WHO does that???) I'm not that surprised. All she sdeven, lynlam, skybar etc have to say is "boo" and the vitriolic harassment follows. Seriously? Are you serious? (Okay, I wrote a lot more, but re-thunk it and deleted - in keeping with the theme of this thread. )
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psiluvu
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,217
Location: Canada's Capital
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:26 GMT
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hello
Aug 4, 2014 23:07:31 GMT
Post by psiluvu on Aug 4, 2014 23:07:31 GMT
Wait....Benem is Mariah and Mariah2??? What?? How did I miss that?? ::slaps forehead::
I know I can't read every thread, but I remember Mariah well. And well, with PJaye's summary (thank you by the way!), I think I have connected the dots. I didn't before, but now it makes sense.
I have nothing more to add except that this place is positively entertaining and THIS is exactly why it is so good we all found a new home for our own brand of craziness. Exactly this!!!!
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MaryC
Full Member
Posts: 213
Jun 25, 2014 21:52:55 GMT
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Post by MaryC on Aug 4, 2014 23:17:16 GMT
But for all we know, Benem's situation isn't fake. Granted there are red flags in her posting history, but like the saying goes, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean someone isn't out to get you. If she was meeting / corresponding with people like the creepy CL guy, one of those contacts could have spun out of control. Yes, it would seem crazy to most of us to go back to the internet if you'd been threatened on the internet, but the reality is that people make lousy choices about their personal safety all the time. I work with victims of violent crime, and if I had a dollar for every time someone has disregarded our safety recommendations, I'd have a nice saving account built up by now.
I have no idea whether her story is true or not, but it seems like she's been tried and convicted in the court of pea opinion - and if there's the slightest chance her situation is for real, then the reaction she's gotten may stop her from ever reaching out for help again. That's a risk I don't think any of us should be willing to take.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Aug 4, 2014 23:25:40 GMT
Let me make a short leap for you all.
Benem posted here about creepy sadist hot guy and then starts chatting him up. For all we know, maybe they became friends. We all continue to talk about creepy sadist guy. Someone from here emails him the link to the thread on the bucket and it spins out of control from there.
Which is totally just a random made up story on my part, but it is completely possible. So her being completely honest is not illogical. I think at best she overshared. At worst it could all be true.
There's one thing I know about this place, that no one really has your back.
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kikinichole
Shy Member
Posts: 39
Jul 7, 2014 17:00:57 GMT
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Post by kikinichole on Aug 4, 2014 23:37:52 GMT
I started on the last page and it sure did seem there was some concrete proof that her story had been made up...so I went back and read. All 11 pages. And ended up with the same feeling.
Kind of ironic that people are upset about Benem making up stories while they make up stories.
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Post by elaine on Aug 4, 2014 23:42:51 GMT
Let me make a short leap for you all. Benem posted here about creepy sadist hot guy and then starts chatting him up. For all we know, maybe they became friends. We all continue to talk about creepy sadist guy. Someone from here emails him the link to the thread on the bucket and it spins out of control from there. Which is totally just a random made up story on my part, but it is completely possible. So her being completely honest is not illogical. I think at best she overshared. At worst it could all be true. There's one thing I know about this place, that no one really has your back. Okay, I know that I am dense at times, but I don't understand what you are saying. Why would Sadist guy be upset with what she wrote on the Bucket? Especially if they became friends? I'm completely lost.
If we are going to start blaming refupeas for this current situation, as some seem ready to do, I have typed out several times over the past day and then deleted that I think that the people egging on the Darcy stories and demanding daily updates, have played their very small part in creating the situation. The vast majority of the responsibility lies at Mariah/Benem's feet for her behavior, but there was a set of peas, who encouraged what many could see was unwise/bordering-on-unsafe behavior for their own personal amusement/vicarious enjoyment.
I think there are many lessons to be learned through this whole episode, and I hope a number of people on this thread, myself included, look at our internet behavior more closely and how we interact with others here and other places online.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Aug 4, 2014 23:54:29 GMT
I agree Elaine! How many posting on here were encouraging Benem to post the Mr Darcy stories? There was actually threads asking for them?!
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Post by annabella on Aug 5, 2014 0:22:46 GMT
[/font][/quote] That should include exhibiting kindness to someone not in a good place. We all don't need to prove that we were right about her or the first to see it, we can just let this die. Right now all I see is a bunch of grown women gossiping over every story they know about her. I think the admin should lock this thread and we can move on to a new topic du jour.
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,006
Jun 25, 2014 20:53:57 GMT
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Post by blue tulip on Aug 5, 2014 0:27:33 GMT
I agree Elaine! How many posting on here were encouraging Benem to post the Mr Darcy stories? There was actually threads asking for them?! can't speak to everything else, but i did read some of the Mr. Darcy threads and just have to say, so what? she never shared where she was working or his real name, and since when is it not ok to talk about a potential love interest? personally i liked hearing them, certain conversations reminded me a lot of DH and I just before we started dating, when we were coworkers. people overshare much more personal or damaging things than that.
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hello
Aug 5, 2014 0:28:30 GMT
Post by lovemybabes on Aug 5, 2014 0:28:30 GMT
Sweetie, I am so sorry. I hope you get this figured out quickly, and stay safe. ((hugs))
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craftchickapowpow
Full Member
My Circus My Monkeys
Posts: 206
Jun 26, 2014 16:12:18 GMT
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Post by craftchickapowpow on Aug 5, 2014 0:32:31 GMT
I'm not that surprised. All she sdeven, lynlam, skybar etc have to say is "boo" and the vitriolic harassment follows. I have two more pages to read, so maybe this has been addressed already, but: Sabrina, don't you dare try to lay that one at the feet of the liberals! We were limapea's first and continuing victims. Mrs. Tyler was a sidetrack for her. She may call herself a liberal, but she is a flaming wacko and we don't take responsibility for her. Actually, Theresa has been a flaming liberal, a flaming conservative and a flaming wacko...all in the same day.
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Post by elaine on Aug 5, 2014 0:33:23 GMT
Annabella, I don't disagree. I purposefully didn't focus in Benem/Mariah in my last post because I was honoring your and admin's requests to not do that. But honestly, I've had enough of the hand-slapping by a number of the peas who I think actually helped to create the situation and wanted to comment in that aspect. My post was about them, not Mariah. As I said earlier, I do hope that Benem comes back and continues to be a part of our refu-pod in a safe way.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 5, 2014 0:53:49 GMT
And this completes the traditional "TwoPeas Bell Curve Response to Craziness:" I've always thought of it like a pendulum swinging from one end, out to the other, then back again. But I love your title and will from here on out, think of the craziness here like that!
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momto3es
Junior Member
Posts: 50
Jun 26, 2014 23:47:54 GMT
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Post by momto3es on Aug 5, 2014 1:14:02 GMT
I just want to post on a epic thread. Been around for a long time have read alot of crazy stuff on two peas.
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Sweets McPea
Junior Member
Posts: 75
Jun 25, 2014 23:03:39 GMT
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Post by Sweets McPea on Aug 5, 2014 2:15:20 GMT
I don't agree with Benem's politics or religion(s) but I found her pleasant, interesting and engaging. If she wasn't honest then her fiction is simply eye-rolling. I don't see any malice. Mostly back-peddling regret. No reason for tar and feathers.
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Post by doesitmatter on Aug 5, 2014 2:29:05 GMT
My only contribution to this thread :
Where's the haiku???
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:38:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 2:31:56 GMT
I don't agree with Benem's politics or religion(s) but I found her pleasant, interesting and engaging. If she wasn't honest then her fiction is simply eye-rolling. I don't see any malice. Mostly back-peddling regret. No reason for tar and feathers. But do you see the harm in her coming here and creating speculation by saying that she was being stalked and that it was/could be someone from this board?
That's the problem - not the Mr. Darcy fantasy.
And who knows - maybe she is being stalked. But it's not someone from here. However, she started that speculation in her first post and there are many people who won't read past the first post so at the very least, she should come back and make it clear right from the beginning.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:38:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 2:32:28 GMT
Please don't use her as a judge for all Pagans.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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hello
Aug 5, 2014 2:35:05 GMT
via mobile
Post by caro on Aug 5, 2014 2:35:05 GMT
How many pages will this thread have? Will it be a new record? Well , at least if will here but what was the longest thread at the pod ?
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hello
Aug 5, 2014 2:41:53 GMT
Post by mzza111 on Aug 5, 2014 2:41:53 GMT
But do you see the harm in her coming here and creating speculation by saying that she was being stalked and that it was/could be someone from this board? That's the problem - not the Mr. Darcy fantasy. And who knows - maybe she is being stalked. But it's not someone from here. However, she started that speculation in her first post and there are many people who won't read past the first post so at the very least, she should come back and make it clear right from the beginning. Actually, in the OP it says "I am now maybe 90 percent reassured that no one here has been involved". I don't see that she's harmed anyone.
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hello
Aug 5, 2014 2:45:23 GMT
Post by SnowWhite on Aug 5, 2014 2:45:23 GMT
But do you see the harm in her coming here and creating speculation by saying that she was being stalked and that it was/could be someone from this board? That's the problem - not the Mr. Darcy fantasy. And who knows - maybe she is being stalked. But it's not someone from here. However, she started that speculation in her first post and there are many people who won't read past the first post so at the very least, she should come back and make it clear right from the beginning. Actually, in the OP it says "I am now maybe 90 percent reassured that no one here has been involved". I don't see that she's harmed anyone. Sure, but at the same time, it didn't say that originally and there's no indication the OP has been edited and even if there was, many people who are reading the new updates to this thread may have never seen that had you not mentioned it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:38:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 2:48:36 GMT
But she did say that the "Peas were used as a weapon" and she leaves that 10% speculation that it was someone here.
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Sweets McPea
Junior Member
Posts: 75
Jun 25, 2014 23:03:39 GMT
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hello
Aug 5, 2014 2:50:46 GMT
Post by Sweets McPea on Aug 5, 2014 2:50:46 GMT
But do you see the harm in her coming here and creating speculation by saying that she was being stalked and that it was/could be someone from this board?
I did not know this. It's completely uncalled for. I guess I missed that point.
Also - I need to learn how to quote.
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craftchickapowpow
Full Member
My Circus My Monkeys
Posts: 206
Jun 26, 2014 16:12:18 GMT
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Post by craftchickapowpow on Aug 5, 2014 2:50:59 GMT
How many pages will this thread have? Will it be a new record? Well , at least if will here but what was the longest thread at the pod ? At first glance I read your post as "how many pagans will this thread have?" Now I'm just posting to get to 12
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hello
Aug 5, 2014 2:54:20 GMT
Post by Scarlet Ohana on Aug 5, 2014 2:54:20 GMT
And this completes the traditional "TwoPeas Bell Curve Response to Craziness:" Phase 1 - all the nice peas offer sympathy and condolences Phase 2 - the cynics come out and call Bullshit Phase 3 - then doubt sets in, and the nice responses resurface. Depending on the thread, repeat several times. Spot on!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:38:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 4:01:34 GMT
Therapea was someone who was known for drama, too. Later she passed away, and her son came to 2peas to announce her death. Some people didn't believe it to be true and were pretty mean to her son. The obituary was posted, and those peas were feeling pretty bad. That, and it has colored how I've viewed potentially similar situations ever since. I consider the cost to me if what I'm being told is untrue and I believe it, versus the cost to the other person if it is true and I am unkind to them because I assume it to be untrue. I haven't yet come across a time where the cost to me for giving the benefit of the doubt is the greater of the two. I think that is a really good attitude to have. It costs us nothing to show compassion. I think some just feel manipulated emotionally. I have had peas call me out on things that were true and the pain it brought me at a time in my life when I was already kicked to the ground is something I will never forget. I do think that as far as Benem goes she either has a complete internet addiction and that is making her put her well being in jeopardy or something isn't right. Either way I wish her no ill will and hope she gets the help (whatever it may be) she needs.
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hello
Aug 5, 2014 4:17:12 GMT
Post by mzza111 on Aug 5, 2014 4:17:12 GMT
Sure, but at the same time, it didn't say that originally and there's no indication the OP has been edited and even if there was, many people who are reading the new updates to this thread may have never seen that had you not mentioned it. Actually, when a post has been edited, it does say. The OP has not been edited.
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Post by wholarmor on Aug 5, 2014 4:21:20 GMT
How many pages will this thread have? Will it be a new record? Well , at least if will here but what was the longest thread at the pod ? The longest thread was 100 pages. It was a thread killer contest, and I won.
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