BarbaraUK
Drama Llama
Surrounded by my yarn stash on the NE coast of England...............!! Refupea 1702
Posts: 5,961
Location: England UK
Jun 27, 2014 12:47:11 GMT
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Post by BarbaraUK on Aug 3, 2014 15:38:04 GMT
Even thought they are rude to not close the door that doesn't excuse rudeness on your part. Say please.
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Post by gar on Aug 3, 2014 15:40:15 GMT
As a child of the south, I tend to preface or end all requests with a please/thank you without even thinking about it. Gah. Now I have Barney in my head singing "please and thank you, they're the magic words..." I think the majority would do the same wherever they were born wouldn't they? To answer the OP - I would say please, your tone can convey any further 'message' you might wish to convey.
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purplebee
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Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Aug 3, 2014 15:40:44 GMT
Yes, please and thank you are always appropriate, though I can see where you're coming from.
To avoid a repeat, print and laminate a small sign and post on the exit door at eye level:
Please Close This Door. Thank you!
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Post by Darcy Collins on Aug 3, 2014 15:47:35 GMT
I've never lived in the south, and if a coworker shouted, "Darcy Door!" at me, I would think they were out of their mind. Seriously, even when my annoying children forget to close the garage door - which they've done 5,432 times, I manage to throw a please in there - although it might be a touch exasperated in tone.
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 3, 2014 15:48:32 GMT
As a child of the south, I tend to preface or end all requests with a please/thank you without even thinking about it. Gah. Now I have Barney in my head singing "please and thank you, they're the magic words..." I think the majority would do the same wherever they were born wouldn't they? To answer the OP - I would say please, your tone can convey any further 'message' you might wish to convey. Yes...absolutely many do. I think, though, those of who grew up in the south with certain types of parents had it drilled into us so deeply that we do it automatically-and sometimes don't even notice it. I didn't mean at all to imply that I/we were the only ones who do, just that for me, some things are so deeply ingrained and I wouldn't have not said it. Whether or not I meant it. LOL
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nickle831
Junior Member
Posts: 93
Jun 26, 2014 2:28:36 GMT
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Post by nickle831 on Aug 3, 2014 16:02:36 GMT
Yes, please and thank you are always appropriate, though I can see where you're coming from. To avoid a repeat, print and laminate a small sign and post on the exit door at eye level: Please Close This Door. Thank you! There is a sign.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
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Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Aug 3, 2014 16:22:52 GMT
Say please. And this isn't a hill to die on. Choose your battles wisely. Lol oh I'm not dying on the hill over this one. We are at work, at a police dept. I'm in dispatch and was working on paper work the officer walked out and I just yelled out hey "ofc insert name" door. He came back in and flipped out that I didn't say please. So of course I went on the defensive and said okay fine please close the door that you left open after having to open it to begin with to come into the room. He Cussed, slammed the door and left. I'm not worried about it though he's had a bad day and I'll remember to say please next time. We are in the south. I was afraid it was a husband.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 3, 2014 16:39:10 GMT
Is it just me or has there been a rash of "I was raised in the South" prefaces lately? I don't mean to single out anxiousmom, it just so happens that hers is the one on this thread (I really like anxiousmom!), and today is the day I bristled at it enough to post.
I was raised in the north, with a certain type of parents, who drilled automatic manners deeply as well. I truly don't understand the broad generalizations with regard to manners and geography. ESPECIALLY when we're just talking please and thank you (and not sir, ma'am, Miss, Mrs., Mr., etc.).
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Aug 3, 2014 16:56:29 GMT
I say please because that's who *I* am. It has nothing to do with whether the other person "deserves" the please or not.
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Post by gar on Aug 3, 2014 17:09:35 GMT
Is it just me or has there been a rash of "I was raised in the South" prefaces lately? I don't mean to single out anxiousmom, it just so happens that hers is the one on this thread (I really like anxiousmom!), and today is the day I bristled at it enough to post. I was raised in the north, with a certain type of parents, who drilled automatic manners deeply as well. I truly don't understand the broad generalizations with regard to manners and geography. ESPECIALLY when we're just talking please and thank you (and not sir, ma'am, Miss, Mrs., Mr., etc.). Sometimes I will read it, go then remind myself that I nothing about 'the south' other than what I've read on here really - I don't even live in the same country - but other times yes, it grates a little. I did appreciate anxiousmom's explanation though.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 22:16:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 17:12:32 GMT
Say please. And this isn't a hill to die on. Choose your battles wisely. This.
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purplebee
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Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Aug 3, 2014 18:12:52 GMT
Is it just me or has there been a rash of "I was raised in the South" prefaces lately? I don't mean to single out anxiousmom, it just so happens that hers is the one on this thread (I really like anxiousmom!), and today is the day I bristled at it enough to post. I was raised in the north, with a certain type of parents, who drilled automatic manners deeply as well. I truly don't understand the broad generalizations with regard to manners and geography. ESPECIALLY when we're just talking please and thank you (and not sir, ma'am, Miss, Mrs., Mr., etc.). Yes, I agree. I was born and raised in NY, by VERY manners-conscious parents. After 30 years of living in "the south" the only geographic difference I have seen as far as good manners are concerned (other than the general lapse in good manners everywhere) is the fact that I was not raised to address adults as Ma'am or Sir. But respect, and deference to adults by children, waiting to speak, saying please and thank you, all those things and more were a foregone conclusion. No forgetting my good manners and common courtesy, or my Mom would have been after me!
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 3, 2014 18:25:50 GMT
Is it just me or has there been a rash of "I was raised in the South" prefaces lately? I don't mean to single out anxiousmom, it just so happens that hers is the one on this thread (I really like anxiousmom!), and today is the day I bristled at it enough to post. I was raised in the north, with a certain type of parents, who drilled automatic manners deeply as well. I truly don't understand the broad generalizations with regard to manners and geography. ESPECIALLY when we're just talking please and thank you (and not sir, ma'am, Miss, Mrs., Mr., etc.). I'm SO sorry! I never, ever meant to imply that other geographic areas are raised without manners. I am horrified that someone would ever think that. I hope that I can explain this right, because I don't want to make it worse...in part, some of the "south" thing is poking a bit of fun at myself. I grew up in a house where very stereotypical "southern" manners were valued- for example, I grew up in an area where people still send their children to cotillion, myself included. It can be, when viewed from the outside as a bit strange and oddly formal. It is almost...I don't know, a cultural thing? And I don't mean culture as in sophistication, I mean a thing based on my geography. Maybe I could compare it in a way to how the Japanese cultures bows in greeting? I wish I could articulate this a little more.
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scrapaddie
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Posts: 5,090
Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on Aug 3, 2014 18:31:28 GMT
A little politeness doesn't cost a thing and goes a long ways on smoothing relationships
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Post by lucyg on Aug 3, 2014 18:37:56 GMT
I agree with the others that a please would have been in order, even though you shouldn't have had to ask. You say he was having a bad day already. Twice the reason to be gentle with him. ETA and now that I've read page 2 that I didn't even notice before not to gang up on anxiousmom or anything but I was also raised by a manners-conscious Northeastern mother and an off-the-deep-end manners-conscious California grandmother.
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J u l e e
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Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 3, 2014 18:40:02 GMT
Aww, anxiousmom, I'm truly not meaning this personally to you. I've just seen it said A LOT lately. From lots of posters, so it seems to be a thing. A given. It just strikes me odd every time I see it in response to manners or how people are raised. I know the north and south are different with regard to things. Again, it's just odd to read it being used in reference to being mannerly.
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,971
Location: NW PA
Jun 25, 2014 23:50:38 GMT
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Post by Judy26 on Aug 3, 2014 18:40:23 GMT
Only if I have to say "Please put the toilet seat down!"
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Post by *Scrapper*Stamper* on Aug 6, 2014 1:38:11 GMT
Even thought they are rude to not close the door that doesn't excuse rudeness on your part. Say please.
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Post by jenjie on Aug 6, 2014 20:02:49 GMT
You say he was having a bad day already. Twice the reason to be gentle with him. This is what I thought when I read the OP but couldn't articulate it. Well said, Lucy.
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Post by scrapmaven on Aug 6, 2014 20:05:48 GMT
Why make a small thing a big thing? Please would be nice, but I'd let it go.
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bomo
Full Member
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Jun 26, 2014 15:54:49 GMT
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Post by bomo on Aug 6, 2014 20:08:38 GMT
It's amazing how far a "please" and "thank you" can get you.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Aug 6, 2014 20:09:14 GMT
Of course it all depends on what kind of day I am having, but the real answer would be to say please.
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mimima
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Jun 25, 2014 19:25:50 GMT
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Post by mimima on Aug 6, 2014 20:11:04 GMT
Please is always warranted.
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SuPeaNatural
Full Member
AUSTRALIA
Posts: 424
Jun 27, 2014 8:49:11 GMT
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Post by SuPeaNatural on Aug 6, 2014 20:11:01 GMT
Good manners never go astray. Can you put a "please close the door on leaving" sign on the inside of the door?
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smartypants71
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Posts: 5,818
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Jun 25, 2014 22:47:49 GMT
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Post by smartypants71 on Aug 6, 2014 20:16:12 GMT
I'm not sure that saying please or not is even the answer. If someone said, Hey, smartypants, door! I would totally ignore them. If they said, Hey, can you shut the door? I would have done it.
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Post by Dreamsofnyssa on Aug 6, 2014 22:10:07 GMT
I'm another one here that would say "Please," and that's coming from someone that was raised in the Wild Wild West. ;-)
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 6, 2014 22:41:33 GMT
I think if the dumbass has done this over and over and you're sick and tired of the non-door closing dumbassery, you're exempt from nicety. I was just thinking that if was my son… I might forget please and thank you. Almost all others deserve the consideration. My children have been told repeatedly.
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Post by melanell on Aug 6, 2014 22:46:42 GMT
I think any command, demand, or request is better with a "please". It's pretty easy to say "Please close the door.", right? Now, if this is someone who has gone in and out of the room several times already, and has left the door open every time, despite your several previous polite requests to close it, then I'm all for taking a new approach.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 6, 2014 22:49:39 GMT
Is it just me or has there been a rash of "I was raised in the South" prefaces lately? I don't mean to single out anxiousmom, it just so happens that hers is the one on this thread (I really like anxiousmom!), and today is the day I bristled at it enough to post. I was raised in the north, with a certain type of parents, who drilled automatic manners deeply as well. I truly don't understand the broad generalizations with regard to manners and geography. ESPECIALLY when we're just talking please and thank you (and not sir, ma'am, Miss, Mrs., Mr., etc.). I teach in the midwest. I get lots of kids from all over the US. You cannot miss a child that was brought up with very southern manners. I have never seen it from anywhere else. Yes, other children are very polite, but the southern children… they stand out with their manners. I think it is because no matter what you say to them, they respond with an ultra polite response even if if does not need one. Example: Have a nice weekend. "Yes mam, I will. I hope that you a good weekend with your family also." My more midwestern children would say thanks and maybe you too now and then. Both of them are polite; one stands out.
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caro
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Refupea 1130
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Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Aug 6, 2014 22:51:06 GMT
I think Please close the door is a message that will be received better by the intended. If someone says to me, "Close the door" after I haven't, then it seems more like a chastisement. I agree with this.
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