Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 12:35:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 14:45:19 GMT
I have a friend who I love dearly. She has a heart of gold, but ... It's sometimes exhausting to be around her. Always has to talk, drags her stories out, jumps from one person to the other, always has to invite everyone to everything. Sometimes I would just love to have her undivided attention, but that never happens. If you can't come to one of her "events" you hear about it, but if you do go you may never even get 5 minutes of her attention. Just curious, is there one in every crowd?
Ann
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Post by airforcemomof1 on Aug 3, 2014 14:55:32 GMT
Not exactly a friend but someone in the office where I work. The few times I've been in a social setting outside of the office, I notice it more. It's all about her. I'm sure I'm not the only one that sees it.
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Post by leslie132 on Aug 3, 2014 15:00:15 GMT
Yes. It is exhausting. But, I have now realized that I don't have to keep up with anyone. I go and do events that I want. If I get to spend time with her, then I do. If not, I'm social enough that I can enjoy her other friends.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Aug 3, 2014 15:01:04 GMT
I used to, but now I keep my distance. My time is valuable too.
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,432 
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Post by YooHoot on Aug 3, 2014 15:01:19 GMT
I work with one. It's exhausting.
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,955
Location: North Idaho
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Post by Nink on Aug 3, 2014 15:09:14 GMT
Yup. We've been friends for more than 30 years and there are times I'm just exhausted from it. Love her dearly and she has been there for me through some of my worst times, but, yes what you described is her usual personality.
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Post by Goldynn on Aug 3, 2014 15:18:05 GMT
I have a friend who constantly tries to convince me that she's the center of everyone's attention. She talks endlessly about herself, her Facebook posts and friends, the people she thinks are living vicariously through her. Kinda crazy, kinda interesting, definitely exhausting sometimes.
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on Aug 3, 2014 15:41:39 GMT
Have you tried inviting her to coffee at your house or somewhere there will not be others that she knows. Then perhaps you could have the personal/one on one attention you seem to want from her.
Perhaps she finds one on one uncomfortable so she likes having a crowd so she can work the room without fear of having to have a real conversation.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 12:35:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 16:36:18 GMT
Yes, I used to have a friend like that. The sun rose and set on her life, her family, etc, etc. I'm over it and we are no longer friends.
ETA: I guess I'm a throbbing member now...eww!
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Post by leannec on Aug 3, 2014 16:43:00 GMT
Yes, there is at least one in every crowd  I run a ladies meetup.com group that I love but there are two or three ladies who try to dominate the conversation at any event that they attend ... my best friend and I consider it a challenge to change the subject whenever they get out of hand  |
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Post by peasful1 on Aug 3, 2014 16:46:22 GMT
I'm curious, why do you so desperately want alone time with someone who doesn't seek the same from you?
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Post by CarolT on Aug 3, 2014 16:47:10 GMT
Yes - we've been friends for a couple of years, and I'm really just fully realizing it now.
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Post by Penellopy on Aug 3, 2014 16:53:28 GMT
Yes, but it is a co-worker. I keep my distance. Ask what I need and leave. Takes up to much of my day to listen to her go on and on.
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Post by giatocj on Aug 3, 2014 17:14:33 GMT
Oh, yes, I did. She had to be the center of everything and was a control freak, to boot. It was exhausting being her friend.
We are still cordial sometimes on FB but no longer the close friends we once were. There are times I miss her dearly, but my life is much calmer now.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 3, 2014 18:04:54 GMT
Small doses of people like that. They invite the drama into their lives but we don't have to let their drama into our lives.
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Post by annabella on Aug 3, 2014 18:06:21 GMT
I have a friend that has to invite everyone to everything! I didn't know this was a bad thing I could complain about but it really annoys me! lol I invite her to something and she shows up with a friend, doesn't tell, maybe I just want to hang out with her! I like all of her friends, but that's not the point.
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Post by chlerbie on Aug 3, 2014 19:15:09 GMT
Yes, I definitely have and I just couldn't be around her anymore. Everything she did was THE BEST. Everywhere she lived was THE BEST, etc. I just couldn't deal with either the constant bragging or constant need for affirmation. It just wore me out.
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Post by M~ on Aug 3, 2014 19:22:41 GMT
Yes. She's a very nice person, no malice in her whatsoever, but she exhausts me sometimes. I'll give you an example: about a week or so ago, I was discussing some legal issue with two other attorney friends of mine (we're all friends) and in comes this other person. We all said good morning, explained to her what issue we were discussing, and went back to the conversation. All of a sudden, she starts asking (keep in mind 3 other people in the room are discussing the same thing) whether her jeans would look better rolled up or not rolled up. She asked the same question over and over again from each person until the 3 of us gave her our "undivided" attention, then she shot off to another topic and another topic, etc.
She does this ALL THE TIME.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
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Post by scrapaddie on Aug 3, 2014 19:42:49 GMT
My sister and she does it with medical conditions . No matter what happens to you,it has happened to her and I is worse. Our father was in the hospital dying and she was telling him how her heart attack ( was actually a stroke). Was just soooooo awful!!!
I probably minimize things too much in response!
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on Aug 3, 2014 19:52:24 GMT
My sister and she does it with medical conditions . No matter what happens to you,it has happened to her and I is worse. Our father was in the hospital dying and she was telling him how her heart attack ( was actually a stroke). Was just soooooo awful!!! I probably minimize things too much in response! Two of my four sisters are like that. Think about how much fun family get togethers are. |
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Post by ChicagoKTS on Aug 3, 2014 20:14:49 GMT
Oh yeah, it's a co-worker but fortunately she's in a different office so I only have to deal with her on the phone. She's one of those who always has to play "one up". No matter what, she's always has one better, worse, bigger, smaller, so on and so forth.
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 12:35:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 3, 2014 20:28:58 GMT
I have a friend who's live is constant drama. (No it's not me!) She is a good friend but between the what happened this week (she fell, hit her head trying to avoid stepping on the cat's tail. She was unconscious for 6 hours and then came to. She didn't want to go to the hospital). Then there was more drama this weekend.
She is a faithful friend but very dramatic!
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Post by jenjie on Aug 3, 2014 21:32:44 GMT
I don't think I have to be the center of attention but I do like to make other people feel wanted and included. It comes from being on the outside so long. I don't want other people to feel that way.
I'm actually reining it in because I don't want it to be all about me or have anyone think that. But I would be the one to say hello and try to connect with everyone. It's an effort to stop because quite a few people have said "you're the first one who talked to me", "you made me feel welcome". But I've realized I can't do it all and ought not do it all.
There are some things I will include everyone and some where it's one on one or just a few.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,580
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Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Aug 3, 2014 21:40:49 GMT
I'm actually reining it in because I don't want it to be all about me or have anyone think that. But I would be the one to say hello and try to connect with everyone. It's an effort to stop because quite a few people have said "you're the first one who talked to me", "you made me feel welcome". But I've realized I can't do it all and ought not do it all. There are some things I will include everyone and some where it's one on one or just a few. Hmmmm.... I don't get why you're reining in these efforts. They sound like a friendly, inclusive thing to do. |
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Post by jenjie on Aug 3, 2014 22:02:36 GMT
I'm actually reining it in because I don't want it to be all about me or have anyone think that. But I would be the one to say hello and try to connect with everyone. It's an effort to stop because quite a few people have said "you're the first one who talked to me", "you made me feel welcome". But I've realized I can't do it all and ought not do it all. There are some things I will include everyone and some where it's one on one or just a few. Hmmmm.... I don't get why you're reining in these efforts. They sound like a friendly, inclusive thing to do. Thank you Sharla. That's what I thought. But I guess there's a difference between saying hi to everyone in your immediate vicinity and going to the opposite end of the room and saying hi to everyone there too. We're not talking 20 people, it's more like 200. It bugs dh and I'm starting to see how it might appear that I'm trying to draw attention to myself. Besides that, I've spread myself too thin and am doing too much. Something's gotta give. If I have the option to have a surface connection with a lot of people OR make a personal connection with fewer, yet have a deeper impact on those few, I'm going deep every time. It probably sounds all disconnected but inside my brain it makes sense. LOL |
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Post by salem on Aug 3, 2014 22:08:30 GMT
I did. I just couldn't put up with it anymore. She was a very spoiled only child and had pretty much no concept that her needs did not come first. It was exhausting to be in situations where she wanted to be in the spotlight - always.
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SuPeaNatural
Full Member
AUSTRALIA
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Jun 27, 2014 8:49:11 GMT
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Post by SuPeaNatural on Aug 3, 2014 22:12:37 GMT
I think everyone knows someone like that. With my friend, it's all about her kids\grandkids and the 3 dreadful DIL\SIL. Every single conversation turns to them, or starts with them. She might listen to me for a few minutes, then the talk switches back to her. And she'd prattle on for hours if i let her - hardly draws breath! We've known each other for over 25 years, and thankfully she's one of those casual friends that I rarely see other than bumping into in the street. So I just let her go. But when I go to the shop for milk and get home 1 1/2 hours later, my son says "did you see R again?"  |
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bklyngal62
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Post by bklyngal62 on Aug 4, 2014 0:45:27 GMT
My SIL is just like that to the "T". Worst part is that if she finds herself losing the attention, she talks louder to make sure the attention comes back to her. She always wants to take part in everything as well.
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