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Post by nepean on Jul 5, 2016 23:54:35 GMT
You have received some great advice regarding your son that I can't add to, except to say I'm sorry you all saw that and are dealing with it.
I wanted to encourage you though - thank you for springing into action, and doing what mattered most in the moment. It sounds like you and DH kept calm , and did what needed to be done to get help quickly, make the area safe, tend to the patient quickly and assist police. That is something that will stay with your son also. He saw you deal with a crisis calmly, that is a big deal.
Be kind to yourself also, seek counseling for you and DH too if you are not coping.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 12, 2024 16:38:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 0:04:52 GMT
I would you use it as a teaching moment. Since your son will soon be driving it's the perfect opportunity to explain how dangerous vehicles are. Explain that driving is a huge responsibility and life can be gone in a moment. Explain to him about wearing a safety belt. I would ask if he would like to talk about. Absolutely. And definitely tell him that you'd be happy to talk to him about anything as he wants to.
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Post by craftsbycarolyn on Jul 6, 2016 0:05:39 GMT
You got some good advice. Sorry you had to see that.
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Post by mom on Jul 6, 2016 0:18:55 GMT
No advice, other than to talk about whats he's feeling and reassure him that you did the best you could to help. Hugs, Mama.
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Post by Penellopy on Jul 6, 2016 0:32:22 GMT
My niece lived with us and had her license about a month when she was hit head on by a drunk driver. The drunk driver turned out to be a classmate of hers and our next door neighbor. It took her a few months to drive again. I asked at the hospital that night how do I comfort a 16 year old who recently lost her father and has now been hit head on and lost a classmate and friend. The advice I got was to ask her gently the details of what she remembered happened. To listen and asks how she felt during the ordeal. Once she started talking, she opened up. But she had fears that the neighbors would blame her and their other son did blame her by telling her if she hadn't been coming home from work, his brother would still be alive. I could not lift those fears by myself. She did have a lot of guilt that was placed on her and it shouldn't have been. I talked to our youth pastor and he agreed to meet with her outside of youth group to help to bring peace to her inner soul again. He also recommended a child therapist that had experience in this type of situations. Between the 2 of them, she was able to let go of the undo burden that was placed on her. Listening to her fears and getting her to talk was our first step.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Jul 6, 2016 0:36:49 GMT
Thank you for caring and helping in this horrific situation. Hugs to all of you for witnessing something that so few do. I cannot add to good advice you've received.
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Post by hop2 on Jul 6, 2016 1:00:50 GMT
I'd say "I'm kind of still upset about what we saw the other night. How are you doing?" And then listen. I'd go this way too. I might mention what ways I use to help process things like that, i.e. Keeping busy, journaling, prayer, counting and confirming my blessings, connecting with my loved ones etc. And maybe follow up in a bit, a few days or a week, to be sure he's dealing. After that point if make sure he knew im always open to conversation ... But I'm Sure your kids already know that you seem to talk to them all the time.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 12, 2024 16:38:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 1:52:49 GMT
I would you use it as a teaching moment. Since your son will soon be driving it's the perfect opportunity to explain how dangerous vehicles are. Explain that driving is a huge responsibility and life can be gone in a moment. Explain to him about wearing a safety belt. I would ask if he would like to talk about. I disagree strongly with this advice. peabay has great advice. Let him direct the conversation based on what is actually worrying him (if anything), not what you think should worry him.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jul 6, 2016 2:07:11 GMT
I'd say "I'm kind of still upset about what we saw the other night. How are you doing?" And then listen. This.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,391
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on Jul 6, 2016 2:11:03 GMT
I agree, he needs to lead the conversation about how he feels.
I also like the advice to actually ask him what he saw. What he saw, and what you think he saw may not be the same.
I wouldn't use it as a teaching lesson for driving though...it may backfire and scare him so much that he won't want to drive ever.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,732
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Jul 6, 2016 2:28:05 GMT
Hope some of these replies will be of help. Traumatic for everyone to witness, hope your Ds saw less than you thought. Thank you and your Dh for coming to the aid of those involved.
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Post by destined2bmom on Jul 6, 2016 2:52:36 GMT
You have received great advice already. I can't think of anything to add to it. But I want to tell you that I am so sorry that your son witnessed this horrible accident. And you and your husband are wonderful for stopping and helping as much as you did. You may want to at some point let him know; that in times of crisis, sometimes the best thing that you can do is to get help and to try to help.
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sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,592
Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
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Post by sweetpeasmom on Jul 6, 2016 3:08:00 GMT
I have no advice. I have been thinking of you guys today though and wondering how all 3 of you were doing but especially him and Les. I hate that any of you witnessed that. I hope he'll open up and talk about it. If not with you, with Les.
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Post by kernriver on Jul 6, 2016 3:12:40 GMT
Might be a good time to reinforce the use of seatbelts. When you fly out of a moving vehicle you definately didn't have your seatbelt on.
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my3freaks
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,206
Location: NH girl living in Colorado
Jun 26, 2014 4:10:56 GMT
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Post by my3freaks on Jul 8, 2016 21:28:58 GMT
How are you doing Steph?
I think you've gotten some good advice here. I'm sorry you guys witnessed that. I think it's great that you and your husband stopped to try and help. Too many people are afraid to get involved or are too wrapped up with themselves to bother.
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Post by debmast on Jul 8, 2016 21:34:33 GMT
Sorry you all to witness that! My advice would be ... listen when he wants to talk.
Haven't seen an accident like that, but my 15 year old dealt with something somewhat similar last fall. Shortly after school started, one of her very close friends lost his brother in an auto accident. It hit her (& many of her friends) very hard. Sometimes she wanted to talk about it, sometimes she didn't. I didn't push her, but listened when she needed to talk. And hugged her. A lot!
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