MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Jul 6, 2016 20:03:14 GMT
Well, she handled it! She has an appointment on Sunday to meet/view a house with a returning soccer player - and it's within budget! Seems the soccer player's roommate graduated and there's a vacancy! Feeling a lot better today. Thank you for the advice and support! Next stop, College! ------------------------------------------------------------------- It's really difficult. We're having to watch as our youngest (recently graduated from high school and trying to get claim her volleyball scholarship) struggles to break away. Her college is a community college and doesn't offer dorms or housing - just a useless list of local apartments that won't lease to a student (we're more than willing to sign a lease for her - as long as we don't get caught holding the bag so all parents of roommates have to co-sign as well). She started looking with her team a few months ago - they had a house lined up! GREAT! Submitted the application...everything. Then one of the roommates (6 total) decided, "nah, I'm gonna follow my boyfriend to another school. See ya!" Then, they lost another roommate...then they lost the house and were scrambling to try and find an apartment. Days go by and now DH and I are getting a little panicky. She's two months out and still no place to live. DD continues to make plans, tries to rely on others in the local area to the college to get it together because they say, "we've got you! Don't worry!" Two more roommates drop out. Now costs go up exponentially. She's looking about paying $500+ a month in rent! We can't afford that, she certainly can't...but we're pushing through anyway hoping for the best and another roommate to materialize. It's a big team, right? Someone else must need a place to live! Right? Just now, her last roommate bails. She has nowhere to live and cannot afford to live on her own. We cannot afford to foot the entire bill. It just may be that she really isn't ready to do this. If she stays home an additional year, she could work and stockpile all that money and then next year she can live on her own. No idea if her scholarship will still be there though. The coach cannot directly assist as it's against sporting regulations. I wonder if he will anyway because this is ridiculous. She had 5 roommates "locked in" and now, nothing. And he really wants her on his team. I'm so stressed out. Not sure what's worse, not being able to step in and make it work or, knowing that doing so would actually set her up for failure in the long run and that she HAS TO struggle through this to learn how to "adult". Can't wait for this month to be over.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jul 6, 2016 20:05:51 GMT
Ugh.. that is tough.. I am surprised they don't have someone on campus to help.
Good luck
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Post by christine58 on Jul 6, 2016 20:06:12 GMT
Is it too far to commute?? I'd ask the coach for some help. Not sure why he cannot. I'd hate to see her not go because of the no roommate. Where did they all find housing??
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Jul 6, 2016 20:09:30 GMT
Oh man, that just really stinks. I really hope she can make something happen in the next couple of months. I bet she isn't the only one scurrying last minute to find housing. Hopefully she can hook up with some other people in the same position.
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Post by nicole2112 on Jul 6, 2016 20:09:37 GMT
How far away is the Community College in which she got her scholarship? Is it commuting distance? Do they have a Craigslist or Apartment/Roommate finders there in the town? She can find a roommate that isn't necessarily a student or rent a room somewhere if she needs to.
Gosh, I'm so sorry! I'm sure you've thought of all of this... just want you to know that you are heard and I'd feel the same way!
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Post by mzza111 on Jul 6, 2016 20:09:51 GMT
Is her college not local to home? Unfortunately, kids at that age are unreliable. In the end, these are good life lessons she is learning.
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 6, 2016 20:14:02 GMT
I don't believe if you step in now that you are setting her up for failure. I think you are being glossed a parent.
She doesn't have to struggle through this. She will have other struggles to face.
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Jul 6, 2016 20:14:29 GMT
It's up to the students to find their own housing...this Community College doesn't offer any and their "help" consists of a .pdf page of phone numbers for local apartments. They don't know anything and can't help...so, so useless.
I'm waiting to see how the coach responds. He cited league codes as a reason that he isn't allowed to get too involved - something to do with unfair advantage since helping the athletes that directly would amount to bribery for being on the team or something like that. I get that, but I bet he does something, I mean, if he really wants her on the team and all.
She's just reached out to their athletic coordinator and to the team in a group text. We'll see.
Sadly, too far to commute. It's 2 1/2 hours north. She's down to the wire - needs to be there by August 1st. It's coming down to a nail biter!
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Jul 6, 2016 20:16:57 GMT
I don't believe if you step in now that you are setting her up for failure. I think you are being glossed a parent. She doesn't have to struggle through this. She will have other struggles to face. The problem with stepping in right now would be us over committing financially - we just can't fiscally do it for her 100%. It's not possible or responsible for us to do so. We'd jeopardize our house and everything. Just can't. We can help though - but it won't be enough at this point...unless she digs up some more roommates with is still possible. Focusing on that right now.
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 6, 2016 20:18:17 GMT
I don't believe if you step in now that you are setting her up for failure. I think you are being glossed a parent. She doesn't have to struggle through this. She will have other struggles to face. The problem with stepping in right now would be us over committing financially - we just can't fiscally do it for he 100%. It's not possible or responsible for us to do so. We'd jeopardize our house and everything. Just can't. ah, I thought stepping up as in helping her find a place, talking with other parents... Can she work study or work part time?
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jul 6, 2016 20:19:01 GMT
Are there any families in the area renting a room, kind of like exchange student would?
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Jul 6, 2016 20:28:01 GMT
Are there any families in the area renting a room, kind of like exchange student would? Not that we've found. She will have to but we've worked it out so she only has to work 2 -3 days a week/40 hrs a month.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jul 6, 2016 20:35:43 GMT
If her College has a facebook group, have her join. My Niece who will be off to College next month, found her new, future room-mate that way.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,775
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Jul 6, 2016 20:38:53 GMT
No advice, just well wishes.
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Post by christine58 on Jul 6, 2016 21:14:25 GMT
Where is she headed MizIndependent?? I bet there's a pea or two in that area that might be able to help.
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,637
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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Post by valincal on Jul 6, 2016 21:20:06 GMT
If her College has a facebook group, have her join. My Niece who will be off to College next month, found her new, future room-mate that way. That's how my son found roommates when he did a semester in France. Good luck...I hope it all works out for her!
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Post by Merge on Jul 6, 2016 21:30:15 GMT
Is Craigslist completely out of the question? Could she contact some people looking for a roommate on CL and make a trip over there one day to meet several of them/look at their places? You or a friend could go with her just for the safety aspect. That's how I found a roommate in grad school (but with the classified ads, because I'm old).
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Post by deekaye on Jul 6, 2016 21:38:29 GMT
Has she checked the good ol' fashion bulletin boards on campus? She doesn't need to room with her teammate(s), does she? There probably is another student or two who need a roommate.
Also, hang in there Mama. It's so hard to let them figure it out themselves!
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Post by hop2 on Jul 6, 2016 21:57:36 GMT
Maybe she should look for a room & a job perhaps there's a family locally that has spare room & could use a mother's helper?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 2:45:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 22:29:08 GMT
Does she have to live with teammates? Maybe she could call the apartments on the list, explain she is looking for roomates and maybe they have a few others they can put together. You may get in with a yucky group but it's worth a shot.
Sorry this is so stressful.
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Post by mom on Jul 6, 2016 22:38:52 GMT
Have you checked with local churches? C all them and ask - the secretary will know who has rent houses, etc and possibly put you in contact of other students would they know of that needs a roomie.
I think its time to focus on not having a teammate as a roomie. Look beyond the small circle that is volleyball. Someone, somewhere, needs a roomie.
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basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,619
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:09 GMT
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Post by basketdiva on Jul 6, 2016 22:45:41 GMT
I'm sorry you and your daughter are in such a tough spot.
There really is nothing the coach can do to help because if he finds her a space, it will be considered impermissible benefits. College Athletic rules are complicated. Being that is a community college most students probably live at home.
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 7, 2016 0:54:45 GMT
I just want to say I hope something works out for your DD!
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Jul 7, 2016 16:04:03 GMT
You've all given such great advice. Thank you!! We're looking into all of it. Hope to have a good report next week. Thank you!
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,517
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Jul 7, 2016 16:13:43 GMT
Hang in there, Mama! That all sounds SO stressful!
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Post by eversograceful1 on Jul 7, 2016 16:22:47 GMT
I hope it all turns out ok!
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Post by mollycoddle on Jul 7, 2016 16:28:30 GMT
Good luck to her, and to you, too. That's a nail-biter for sure, but as usual, the Peas have good advice!
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Post by sunnyd on Jul 7, 2016 16:29:40 GMT
That sounds really stressful! I hope she can find something soon! What state/area does she need to find housing in?
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Post by whopea on Jul 7, 2016 17:05:17 GMT
That sounds really stressful. I'm so sorry.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,506
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
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Post by MorningPerson on Jul 7, 2016 19:10:07 GMT
Glad to read your update!
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