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Post by miss_lizzie on Jul 7, 2016 0:28:25 GMT
Could you have the party at a park or restaurant? Everyone could attend that way.
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Post by littlemama on Jul 7, 2016 0:30:20 GMT
NO!! Hell no!!!
And I can't believe your little guy is about to turn one!!
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marimoose
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,282
Jul 22, 2014 2:10:14 GMT
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Post by marimoose on Jul 7, 2016 0:37:54 GMT
I agree with miss_lizzie. It is the safest thing to do under the conditions. It is such a hard call as you can be in an elevator, sitting in a booth at a restaurant, at thre movies, etc, all of which you have no idea if bed bugs may have been left behind there but knowing that there is an issue and 1 week is little time to know they completely ridded their belongings of them..... yup, another location sounds good and you can offer a variety of excuses if you would prefer the real reason doesn't come out.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,175
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jul 7, 2016 0:39:35 GMT
Two words. Chuckee Cheese!
There is no way I would want to even have a slight chance that we might get bed bugs!
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Post by tmarschall on Jul 7, 2016 0:46:29 GMT
I have everything planned out for an at home party. Decorations, most of the food has been purchased, cake ordered, etc and the party is in a week, so moving it is not an option. Only you know what's really possible/manageable, but may I gently suggest what you've described sounds perfect for a party at a park with a shelter. Maybe you could enlist some help to put up your decorations and bring good your food...we have reserved a shelter right by a playground and it was perfect...party games, then food and pictures, them the playground to run off steam. Just a thought...good luck!
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jul 7, 2016 0:53:31 GMT
I hope someone who has had bed bugs posts what absolute HELL they are to get rid of.
My sister took three days of cleaning, every single thing in her house. They had she, her husband and two professionals, they worked over 36 hours in three days. They sent every single piece of fabric furniture, clothing toys etc out to be fumigated. And they had to be out of their apartment for a few days.
She said if she had been renting she would have moved rather than go through that again.
I would not let them in my house until they are sure that they are gone. I should say my sister only ever saw one. But both she and her husband had bites.
Don't do it.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Jul 7, 2016 0:55:14 GMT
We have friends that had bed bugs and became somewhat paranoid as a result. They came to visit us when we lived in Canada. When they travel they keep everything in a vacuum sealed bags. When stuff is opened in a hotel room, it is considered tainted until it is laundered and dried. They brought in the post hotel stuff and I laundered it.
Could you launder some of their clothes and have them change when they get to your house?
Also, in the tail end of their infestation my daughter went for a sleep over for their daughter. We did the laundry thing then and did not "catch" the bed bugs.
ETA: I never thought I would be thankful that we "only" had lice. You find gratitude in the strangest of places.
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tincin
Drama Llama
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Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Jul 7, 2016 1:04:50 GMT
I don't believe that having them in your home for a couple of hours is going to infest your home with bed bugs. If I were them, I would be horribly offended if you told me to change my clothes to come into your house. At the most, I would move the party outside to the patio or backyard.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 0:24:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2016 1:07:29 GMT
Couple thoughts: First, I am an entomologist and the nature of my work is that I have all the monitoring stuff and treatment material at my disposal - so in general we tend to worry less than other people who don't work in this field. That said, I'd have to move the party away from my house to prevent them from coming in - because to get them is that much of a pain in the ass. Second, in a pest control seminar I was in earlier this year, we were talking about not only the financial price of dealing with an infestation, but also the inconvenience and frustration mentioned in a previous post, but *also* the shame and emotional toll of an infestation. Asking someone to change clothes before coming inside or leave their belongings outside, or worse, not come at all - ugh. I understand the reasons, but that would really hurt. Really. So tread carefully. I would be cautious but also recognize that these folks may already be going through hell and being the family outcast right now might be really poor timing. I have no idea your family situation of course. I hope it works out! And how is your baby 1?!
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Post by llinin on Jul 7, 2016 1:09:02 GMT
I have everything planned out for an at home party. Decorations, most of the food has been purchased, cake ordered, etc and the party is in a week, so moving it is not an option. Any cost and aggravation you may go through by moving the party PALES in comparison to what you will go through if you wind up with bedbugs! I would move my party somewhere like a park, anywhere but my house. I would make up some excuse why we were moving it (the weather is too nice out, got a great deal, whatever!) and would just suck up the hassle and extra cost. No way in hell I would have people at my house that I knew were battling bedbugs, no way, no how. The thought of bedbugs FREAKS me out.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 0:24:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2016 1:13:18 GMT
Eek. I'd change the party location. Since you said you already have food, decorations, etc. I'd move it to a park or some kind of room that could be rented.
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carhoch
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Be yourself everybody else is already taken
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Jun 28, 2014 21:46:39 GMT
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Post by carhoch on Jul 7, 2016 1:15:45 GMT
Your son will not remember who was present on this first first birthday ...
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Post by elaine on Jul 7, 2016 1:18:40 GMT
The first birthday party isn't really for the child - he or she won't remember it - it is for the family.
That said, I'd have the party at a location away from the house so that all the various in-laws can come and you don't have to worry about bedbugs.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
Jun 26, 2014 16:09:34 GMT
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Post by brandy327 on Jul 7, 2016 1:20:06 GMT
OH man. What a crappy situation all the way around. But I'd have to agree with those that have said I would try to move it out of my house to a public location like a park. I hope you can find something workable for everyone.
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Post by mom on Jul 7, 2016 1:22:04 GMT
Ok, just throwing this out there - if they are treating the bedbugs now, would they be gone by next week? (I honestly have no clue how long it takes to get rid of them).
I would move the party to a park. Yes its a hassle. No, it wont be the same as having it at your house. BUT if you uninvite family, you could really hurt your relationship. Is it worth it? I know its a hard place to be in, but sometimes a little sacrifice is better than offending family (even if you have good reason to).
Let us know what you decide!
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Post by littlemama on Jul 7, 2016 1:33:16 GMT
Your son will not remember who was present on this first first birthday ... He won't.:.but MIL will never forget it. There's a Hampton Inn near us that I know has a meeting space..and an indoor pool. I can call them in the morning and see what's Available. I don't want to hurt anyone. My mom suggested to me that we say that we are so sorry they are going through this and how difficult it must be but how about we have a party in a few weeks with just DH's side of the family (DH's sister can't make the party either due to being out of town). That way they can all come at once and we can have a second party. Ugh. This is awful. Your MIL has already acknowledged that she knows that you and your dh may not be comfortable with having them over under those circumstances. With it being grad party season, plus with you having everything done already, moving it doesn't seem like a viable option, especially to a park. I would just take her up on her suggestion that they should not come, but express that you absolutely want to celebrate with them, so the week after, you will treat them all to dinner at a restaurant. That way, you still celebrate with them close to the bday, you don't have them in your home, and they can watch your ds demolish and ice cream sundae at Red Robin (or whatever).
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Post by elaine on Jul 7, 2016 1:44:40 GMT
Your son will not remember who was present on this first first birthday ... He won't.:.but MIL will never forget it. There's a Hampton Inn near us that I know has a meeting space..and an indoor pool. I can call them in the morning and see what's Available. I don't want to hurt anyone. My mom suggested to me that we say that we are so sorry they are going through this and how difficult it must be but how about we have a party in a few weeks with just DH's side of the family (DH's sister can't make the party either due to being out of town). That way they can all come at once and we can have a second party. Ugh. This is awful. I mean this in the gentlest way possible - but, MIL and you and DH will find this birthday less and less monumental in terms of needing to have a perfect party as he ages and there are more and more milestones to celebrate. First Easter egg hunt, first day of school, first school dance, first homecoming, graduation, marriage, etc. This party will fade into memory. I, personally think that family relationships and not damaging them is much more important than whether this is the perfect first birthday party or not.
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Post by christine58 on Jul 7, 2016 1:55:18 GMT
Can you just have the party outside at your house?? If an exterminator is coming this week and your party is next week---it might not be an issue. I'd also be having DH talk with his brother.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Jul 7, 2016 2:11:52 GMT
Is this the same BIL who's getting drunk at his kids bday party? If so I wouldn't worry about offending him much, clearly he didn't give much thought to offending people with his invite. I'd at the very least move the party outside/to the garage if the park isn't an option.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 0:24:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2016 2:56:02 GMT
Is this the same BIL who's getting drunk at his kids bday party? If so I wouldn't worry about offending him much, clearly he didn't give much thought to offending people with his invite. I'd at the very least move the party outside/to the garage if the park isn't an option. Yes, this is the same brother. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I actually feel like the brother would understand but I don't know that my MIL would. And I couldn't bear to hurt FIL. And MiL calls the shots. And that's part of the reason her and I butt heads...she wants to call the shots for everyone.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 0:24:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2016 3:15:28 GMT
Yikes! But it seems like you were just sharing first pics of that little cutie, how can he be a year old already?
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Post by kellybelly77 on Jul 7, 2016 3:26:26 GMT
Oh h3ll no! Bed bugs are hitch hikers. We have had employees bring them to work before and they then infest our buildings. Once in the buildings they travel on pant legs, vacuums,medical equipment, wheel chairs to all areas of the building. It costs us tens of thousands of dollars every year to treat these when they crop up. There is no way in hell I would let them come to my house. No way.
When our big guy comes to treat he wears a jumpsuit type thing that completely encases his street clothes and once outside the building he strips it off and throws it away to prevent them from coming home with him.
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newlywoods03
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Blessed Beyond Measure
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Jun 26, 2014 3:09:09 GMT
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Post by newlywoods03 on Jul 7, 2016 3:28:09 GMT
Ummm, how is he almost 1?!! Man, kids grow up fast!
I understand that you don't want to hurt feelings or have anyone miss out on anything, but you also need to think about what is best for your family. If you really want them all to attend the party, I think it needs to move outdoors or to another location.
I'm not sure I would take the chance of my home getting invaded by bed bugs. Now way, jose! If it did happen, it for sure wouldn't be the highlight you'd want to remember from his first birthday.
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Post by anniefb on Jul 7, 2016 6:29:22 GMT
Since bedbugs can be spread by someone wearing clothing that's been infested, I'd be a bit wary about a party at my house, unless I knew everything had been eradicated.
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Post by littlemama on Jul 7, 2016 11:08:05 GMT
Is this the same BIL who's getting drunk at his kids bday party? If so I wouldn't worry about offending him much, clearly he didn't give much thought to offending people with his invite. I'd at the very least move the party outside/to the garage if the park isn't an option. Yes, this is the same brother. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I actually feel like the brother would understand but I don't know that my MIL would. And I couldn't bear to hurt FIL. And MiL calls the shots. And that's part of the reason her and I butt heads...she wants to call he shots for everyone. Put it this way-do you have the time and resources to eradicate your home of bedbugs? How would you feel if your baby woke up covered in bed bug bites? If you had to get rid of his favorite stuffed animal that can't be replaced? Your MIL gave you the out, take it!!! This isn't a cold, this is a potential infestation of difficult to eradicate bugs in your home. I completely understand not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, but they clearly know that going to someone's home (or a hotel) when they have bed bugs is wrong! As a bonus, maybe they will still have their issue at the time of their 1year old's drunken bday party and you can use that excuse again!
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Post by christine58 on Jul 7, 2016 12:35:53 GMT
What I don't get is WHY I'm having to deal with this. If it were me, we would politely decline the invite and celebrate with them at another time. I really think your DH needs to have a conversation with his brother. You should NOT have to change your plans.
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TankTop
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Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Jul 7, 2016 12:49:40 GMT
@mochimochi
As an elementary school teacher, I am seeing more and more bed big cases each year. Last year I had 4 students who had them in their home. They are not excluded from school. The only precaution the school takes in putting their coat and bag in an alternate location in a trash bag each day.
Keep in mind these are the cases we are informed of.
I would assume schools across the country are dealing with the same issue, so how does one protect themself when out in the community?
What precautions do you take? What would you do first if you were exposed? If they were found in your home, what would your treatment plan be?
I feel it is only a matter of time before I have an issue from one of my students.
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Post by stampinchick on Jul 7, 2016 13:14:17 GMT
Put it this way-do you have the time and resources to eradicate your home of bedbugs? How would you feel if your baby woke up covered in bed bug bites? If you had to get rid of his favorite stuffed animal that can't be replaced? Your MIL gave you the out, take it!!! This isn't a cold, this is a potential infestation of difficult to eradicate bugs in your home. I completely understand not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, but they clearly know that going to someone's home (or a hotel) when they have bed bugs is wrong! As a bonus, maybe they will still have their issue at the time of their 1year old's drunken bday party and you can use that excuse again! I don't think they did think not to go to someone's house, because they went to MIL's house and camper. We are looking at moving the party at the moment. I'm just hoping it doesn't cost us a small fortune to do it...though it would be cheaper than exterminating. What I don't get is WHY I'm having to deal with this. If it were me, we would politely decline the invite and celebrate with them at another time. But by moving it to another location you now risk a public area becoming infested and they still could be carried on clothing and then latch onto your clothing and you bring them home anyway. MIL needs to just suck it up buttercup and stay home.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 0:24:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2016 14:03:43 GMT
@mochimochi As an elementary school teacher, I am seeing more and more bed big cases each year. Last year I had 4 students who had them in their home. They are not excluded from school. The only precaution the school takes in putting their coat and bag in an alternate location in a trash bag each day. Keep in mind these are the cases we are informed of. I would assume schools across the country are dealing with the same issue, so how does one protect themself when out in the community? What precautions do you take? What would you do first if you were exposed? If they were found in your home, what would your treatment plan be? I feel it is only a matter of time before I have an issue from one of my students. This is a complicated one because schools are subject to special rules about pest control - for bed bugs, you want the pros: a company that knows how to deal with bed bugs. Just saying that in case you ever have an outbreak at school - suggest they call a pro and don't deal with it on site, such as with grounds crew or other staff. I don't know how anyone can protect themselves if you come in contact with someone who is carrying them and you aren't aware. That could happen to anyone (oh god, airports). I travel for work, so I do some things in hotels, but for out-in-the-world exposures you have to know to be able to do anything. If I'm worried I might have been somewhere they were, I get undressed in the garage and leave my luggage out there - everything goes directly into the wash on hot and gets dried with steam for an extra load (this is hell on your clothes, btw). I go over my bags and other things with a light and a scope before they come inside, but I'll often leave them in the garage for a long time to get hot-cold-hot a few times. I used to treat my cloth bags with insecticide, but I switched to hard-sided luggage, so that won't work now, but I'm less concerned about bugs hanging out on those bags. I think "scouting" is probably the best thing you can do - be aware and look for them. They can't fly, and they are relatively shy - they only come near us to feed, so they will likely be in the folds of clothes or shoes or backpacks, not in clothes up against a person's skin. Never put your bags, coat, etc on the floor. An elevated hard surface, like a sink or counter, is better. I'd pick a place other people don't hang around, like away from students or above their reach so no one's clothes brush against my things. And sadly, I'd be careful about anyone hugging or leaning against me or letting their clothes rest on me (eg., a dress hem or a sweater or jacket that swings). I wouldn't freak out, I'd just avoid that kind of contact if I could. Most people who struggle extensively with an infestation didn't hire a professional to deal with it - it can be managed successfully and quickly with someone who knows what they're doing - so that's reassuring at least. But it would still suck to have it happen. I hope that helps.
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grammanisi
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Jun 26, 2014 1:37:37 GMT
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Post by grammanisi on Jul 7, 2016 16:48:44 GMT
Yes, this is the same brother. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I actually feel like the brother would understand but I don't know that my MIL would. And I couldn't bear to hurt FIL. And MiL calls the shots. And that's part of the reason her and I butt heads...she wants to call the shots for everyone I don't see a reason that MIL would be upset. It sounds like she started the conversation about you not being comfortable with them at your house.
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