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Post by brookeq on Jul 12, 2016 3:13:56 GMT
Backstory: My DH's best friend invited us to go to Hawaii with him and his wife.(they were using time share points). All we had to do was get plane tickets. We leave this Friday. We just found out that they may not be able to make it. The wife has been having severe anxiety and has checked herself into some kind of treatment center. Best friend said she may get out in time but doesn't know. He doesn't get to talk to her except once a week. (I don't have much more info on this since DH didn't want to pry). On top of that DH's best friends Dad was given three weeks to live and that time is about up. They have known it was coming for months and that time frame was given almost three weeks ago. They live in Arizona. We are in Pa near the friends dad. He is not doing well at all and the end really is near. It is sad. I was wondering why he didn't come visit his dad when all of the other siblings have. Now with the news above I understand why. They never backed out of the trip when they got the news about their dad because they can't get the points back. They told us a few weeks ago if their dad died and they couldn't go they would put the place in our name and we should still go so someone uses it. So most likely they are not coming on the trip. I feel awful. DH's best friend is so stressed with all of this and still wants to come because he wants a break so bad. But I doubt he will. he will either stay with his wife, or visit his dad hopefully and say goodbye. Ok, so the main reason for my post is...if we do go to hawaii I would like to bring them back a gift. Something thoughtful. I have no ideas. I guess it doesn't have to be from hawaii. I thought about sending them meals that get dropped off at their house. But the MIL is staying there helping out with their young son (which she has been there for a week or so now and that is just adding to his stress and wanting to get away) and and she cooks so I don't know. I feel so helpless. I am not super close with the wife but we do get along. So i don't know all of the things she likes/dislikes. I feel bad for all that they are going thru and want to do something nice. Any ideas?  Thanks for reading my long post! |
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gsquaredmom
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Posts: 4,078
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Jul 12, 2016 3:18:50 GMT
I think a gift card for a restaurant will give them all a break, including grandma.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 12, 2016 3:30:06 GMT
If you wanted to do something "Hawaii" you can send them a case of fresh pineapples, macadamia nuts or chocolates with macadamia nuts, or if they're coffee drinkers you could get them some Kona coffee.
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Grom Pea
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Posts: 2,944 
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Post by Grom Pea on Jul 12, 2016 3:32:41 GMT
Do they go to Hawaii all the time or was this a special trip with traded points? If they don't already have one, Hawaiian shirt and dress, or maybe a gift basket of the famous foods from Hawaii, like those chocolate covered macadamia nuts from Hawaiian host, coconut syrup, coconut pancake mix, if they quilt or sew, Hawaiian fabric (they have special fabrics that are unique to the islands or at least I know many bring back those things.
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julieb
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Post by julieb on Jul 12, 2016 3:34:30 GMT
Personally, I wouldn't send them anything from Hawaii or a reminder of the trip that they were not able to take. A restaurant gift card from a local place would probably be appreciated much more.
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Post by mrgiedrnkr on Jul 12, 2016 3:36:19 GMT
If they do transfer it in your name, make sure to ask if there was a transfer fee & offer to reimburse it. I am not a time share owner anymore but I could have sworn there was a fee if we did that.
Stacy
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AmandaA
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Post by AmandaA on Jul 12, 2016 3:40:03 GMT
Just thinking out loud here... But would something from Hawaii be appreciated (or a reminder of what they missed out on, kwim)?
I have no idea if it is in your area... But I recently got an email from a Dream Dinners (they used to have a storefront in my area) about a new program they are launching called Share Crates. Where you order meals to ship to someone. I believe they come frozen on dry ice and just need to be put in the oven if I understood correctly. I would think food would always be appreciated... Even the MIL could probably use a break and f she is caring for everyone once his wife is back home. What a horrible situation all around for them.
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Post by brookeq on Jul 12, 2016 3:48:05 GMT
Personally, I wouldn't send them anything from Hawaii or a reminder of the trip that they were not able to take. A restaurant gift card from a local place would probably be appreciated much more. I didn't think of that. That is why I always ask here first! |
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Post by brookeq on Jul 12, 2016 3:49:50 GMT
If they do transfer it in your name, make sure to ask if there was a transfer fee & offer to reimburse it. I am not a time share owner anymore but I could have sworn there was a fee if we did that. Stacy I will definitely ask. Thanks I was going to give them something for letting us tag long. Some money for the fees. But now if they are going... |
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Post by AussieMeg on Jul 12, 2016 3:54:12 GMT
Personally, I wouldn't send them anything from Hawaii or a reminder of the trip that they were not able to take. A restaurant gift card from a local place would probably be appreciated much more. That was my first thought too. Even though you wouldn't mean it that way, it might almost come across as rubbing it in. |
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Grom Pea
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Post by Grom Pea on Jul 12, 2016 4:01:56 GMT
Personally, I wouldn't send them anything from Hawaii or a reminder of the trip that they were not able to take. A restaurant gift card from a local place would probably be appreciated much more. That was my first thought too. Even though you wouldn't mean it that way, it might almost come across as rubbing it in. I wouldn't think that at all, but I suppose only op knows how her friends receive gifts. Personally I think giving them a premade meal that they have to heat up would be more appropriate for a sorry you had a death in the family than a thank you for the time share. If you're going to give them a meal I'd say take them out as your treat, these are good enough friends that they wanted to vacation with you so I'm certain they want to eat with you too :-) |
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Post by brookeq on Jul 12, 2016 13:11:48 GMT
That was my first thought too. Even though you wouldn't mean it that way, it might almost come across as rubbing it in. I wouldn't think that at all, but I suppose only op knows how her friends receive gifts. Personally I think giving them a premade meal that they have to heat up would be more appropriate for a sorry you had a death in the family than a thank you for the time share. If you're going to give them a meal I'd say take them out as your treat, these are good enough friends that they wanted to vacation with you so I'm certain they want to eat with you too :-) They live in Arizona and we are in Pennsylvania. So I can't take them out.  I plan on giving them money for the time share. But I also kind of wanted to add an "I am thinking of you" type gift too. |
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ginacivey
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refupea #2 in southeast missouri
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Post by ginacivey on Jul 12, 2016 13:19:00 GMT
Personally, I wouldn't send them anything from Hawaii or a reminder of the trip that they were not able to take. A restaurant gift card from a local place would probably be appreciated much more. this take care of some meals for them come home an take care of their yard gina |
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Peamac
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Post by Peamac on Jul 12, 2016 14:47:58 GMT
A weekend at a hotel in their area, so they can still get away for a bit.
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schizo319
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Post by schizo319 on Jul 12, 2016 15:58:29 GMT
My first thought was lawn service and/or housekeeper to help ease some of the burden off of grandma and your DH's friend.
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Post by ihaveonly1l on Jul 12, 2016 16:16:27 GMT
You mentioned that you lived near his dad in PA. Would it be close enough to offer your home as the place they could stay while they are traveling to see his dad? You would be gone anyway, and they may be over crowded where they would need to stay or they would have to hotel it and that can be pricey.
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Grom Pea
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Post by Grom Pea on Jul 13, 2016 0:50:55 GMT
I wouldn't think that at all, but I suppose only op knows how her friends receive gifts. Personally I think giving them a premade meal that they have to heat up would be more appropriate for a sorry you had a death in the family than a thank you for the time share. If you're going to give them a meal I'd say take them out as your treat, these are good enough friends that they wanted to vacation with you so I'm certain they want to eat with you too :-) They live in Arizona and we are in Pennsylvania. So I can't take them out. I plan on giving them money for the time share. But I also kind of wanted to add an "I am thinking of you" type gift too. Sorry I did read that but somehow I read it as the parents lived far away. I still think any gift that's from Hawaii would be ok if they don't have a ton of that stuff from going there all the time and if they're into getting souvenirs. I have never thought of receiving a souvenir as being braggy about a trip or as a reminder that I wasn't along for the trip, but then again imho it's the gesture, not the stuff that counts. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 13, 2016 9:42:57 GMT
Personally, I wouldn't send them anything from Hawaii or a reminder of the trip that they were not able to take. A restaurant gift card from a local place would probably be appreciated much more. This. |
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Post by anonrefugee on Jul 13, 2016 10:04:44 GMT
My first thought was lawn service and/or housekeeper to help ease some of the burden off of grandma and your DH's friend. I was thinking utilitarian too. Add takeout restaurant gift cards for now. If possible send a second "gift" in a month after trip (and funeral) of a night out at special restaurant, when he and wife can pause and enjoy it. |
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