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Post by Really Red on Jul 18, 2016 12:39:43 GMT
Do you always have to accept an apology? I'm not talking in horrible situations, but regular basic ones.
What if someone says they're going to do something, promises over and over and is truly sincere in their apologies, but you know that it means nothing. Do you just accept it and move on?
Saying "I accept your apology" is so formal, but "No problem" is SO not right. If I'm in person it's easier to smile and nod and sort of ignore it, but by text?
This is not a person I want to anger, because we have to work together on occasion, but I am tired of the promises. FWIW, I think she may be adult ADD. I really believe she means well - she's not doing it meanly at all - but enough is enough.
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Post by Linda on Jul 18, 2016 12:41:25 GMT
Thank you for your apology.
Can we brainstorm and come up with a way to help prevent this from happening in the future?
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Jul 18, 2016 12:42:53 GMT
I don't accept apologies just because you're supposed to be a nice girl about it. Fuck it. Some people don't deserve to be forgiven and can rot in hell as far as I am concerned. As for a serial offender, do you really think their apology is sincere if they keep fucking up? Nope. Not even one tiny bit. It's just rugsweeping. You can thank them for the apology but don't have to accept it. In fact, you shouldn't. It's a lie and a trap. Just because they give it doesn't mean you have to accept it.
Stay strong.
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Post by Just Beth on Jul 18, 2016 12:43:25 GMT
I usually say, "I appreciate you apologizing." I hate to say, "No problem" or the like because often their behavior IS a problem. When a patient is rude or hostile to me at work then says later they are sorry I refuse to tell them their behavior is okay simply because they apologized afterwards.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:32:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2016 12:47:04 GMT
Definitely "I appreciate your apology. This seems to be a recurring theme. How can we work past this and be successful in our work together?"
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Post by Merge on Jul 18, 2016 13:08:33 GMT
Definitely "I appreciate your apology. This seems to be a recurring theme. How can we work past this and be successful in our work together?" I agree. In a professional setting, we don't usually have the luxury of a "fuck it" and cutting that person out of your life. The above is a much better response. |
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,156
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Jul 18, 2016 13:35:19 GMT
Because of the situation, I would just say something along the lines of thank you for your apology. I don't think there is much else you can do in that situation.
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Post by Really Red on Jul 18, 2016 13:37:22 GMT
Definitely "I appreciate your apology. This seems to be a recurring theme. How can we work past this and be successful in our work together?" I agree. In a professional setting, we don't usually have the luxury of a "fuck it" and cutting that person out of your life. The above is a much better response. Sigh. But if we only did. If we only did  |
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Post by hop2 on Jul 18, 2016 14:09:59 GMT
I appreciate that you recognize the problem and are sorry for it.
If I wish to I may add we will move forward from here or maybe I want to be done and I'll just leave it alone and move on seperately
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 18, 2016 15:16:15 GMT
Sometimes you have to put up with it. I like the response "I appreciate your apology".
I have a SIL from Hell, DH's sister. Her apologies are so insincere I want to vomit. I tolerate her because I am very close to her DD. It would only hurt my niece if I tell her mother to fuck off.
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olandeux
Shy Member
Posts: 21 
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Post by olandeux on Jul 18, 2016 15:43:39 GMT
I would just accept. I have the same issue. She normally does the crying thing when shit hits the fan. Work relationships are tricky but I don't think forgiveness needs to be present to continue on so its your choice.
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Post by Miss Ang on Jul 18, 2016 16:10:13 GMT
Thank you for your apology.  If this is a cycle and you know that no matter how many conversations you have about it will not prevent it from happening in the future, just say that and move on. When you know it's just part of the game, there is no point in wasting more time and energy trying to make it better. |
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Post by freecharlie on Jul 18, 2016 16:26:23 GMT
I agree with thank you for the apology.
When I worked exclusively with kids with severe behavior issues. When they apologized they were taught to add what they will do next time instead.
Sorry for hitting yoi, next time I will take 3 deep breaths...(obviously the 3 deep breaths didn't happen every time, but it gave them a plan)
Perhaps if it continues ask the apologizer what they plan to do different next time.
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MrsPea #2861
Junior Member
Posts: 89
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Post by MrsPea #2861 on Jul 18, 2016 17:11:35 GMT
Honestly, I would reply, "...OK..." in text.
You are acknowledging it, but not necessarily accepting it.
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Post by krc11 on Jul 18, 2016 17:20:31 GMT
Thank you for your apologize. Don't do it again. ??
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Post by papersilly on Jul 18, 2016 17:21:51 GMT
out loud, I will probably accept it. deep inside, probably not for a lot of things.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Jul 18, 2016 21:40:16 GMT
I don't accept apologies just because you're supposed to be a nice girl about it. Fuck it. Some people don't deserve to be forgiven and can rot in hell as far as I am concerned. As for a serial offender, do you really think their apology is sincere if they keep fucking up? Nope. Not even one tiny bit. It's just rugsweeping. You can thank them for the apology but don't have to accept it. In fact, you shouldn't. It's a lie and a trap. Just because they give it doesn't mean you have to accept it. Stay strong. I'm a person with adult ADD, plus a likely physical situation that is resulting in a lot of issues for me right now that are causing me to unintentionally drop the ball on a lot of things. Yes I know it's a problem, and am working with doctors to figure it out. Yes I mean well and have good intentions. Yes I feel like a piece of **** every time it happens. I've pretty much lost my business because of it. Many people have reacted as suggested above. A few compassionate customers have reacted with kindness and support, even if they do end up going elsewhere for their services. That has meant a lot to me.
I'm not saying that's the case in your situation, but there are some of us out here who truly are struggling, and I wholeheartedly agree with those who have suggested working with the person/co-workers to find a solution if that's indeed the case.
Not everyone who appears to be a lazy bum is truly a lazy bum - at least that's what they keep telling me. 
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Post by Really Red on Jul 18, 2016 23:20:13 GMT
I don't accept apologies just because you're supposed to be a nice girl about it. Fuck it. Some people don't deserve to be forgiven and can rot in hell as far as I am concerned. As for a serial offender, do you really think their apology is sincere if they keep fucking up? Nope. Not even one tiny bit. It's just rugsweeping. You can thank them for the apology but don't have to accept it. In fact, you shouldn't. It's a lie and a trap. Just because they give it doesn't mean you have to accept it. Stay strong. I'm a person with adult ADD, plus a likely physical situation that is resulting in a lot of issues for me right now that are causing me to unintentionally drop the ball on a lot of things. Yes I know it's a problem, and am working with doctors to figure it out. Yes I mean well and have good intentions. Yes I feel like a piece of **** every time it happens. I've pretty much lost my business because of it. Many people have reacted as suggested above. A few compassionate customers have reacted with kindness and support, even if they do end up going elsewhere for their services. That has meant a lot to me.
I'm not saying that's the case in your situation, but there are some of us out here who truly are struggling, and I wholeheartedly agree with those who have suggested working with the person/co-workers to find a solution if that's indeed the case.
Not everyone who appears to be a lazy bum is truly a lazy bum - at least that's what they keep telling me.
 I'm sorry. I don't know what the answer is. As I said before I feel that this person has ADD, that's why I have given her so many breaks, but it's several times a week and I'm the one who is put out each time. FWIW, I am never EVER mean. I'm sorry you'r egoing through this and I don't think anyone implied that someone was a lazy bum. Did I miss that? |
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Post by annabella on Jul 19, 2016 1:58:35 GMT
I appreciate your apology, but it's starting to be redundant when it keeps happening/or it doesn't mean anything/is pretty meaningless when you keep doing it. Find something to say for the second half of the sentence and say it in a nice tone to show your frustration. I get it, some people throw out an apology without actually addressing the issue.
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ellen
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,129
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Post by ellen on Jul 19, 2016 2:10:30 GMT
I appreciate your apology and hope things will be better.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Jul 19, 2016 17:03:48 GMT
I'm a person with adult ADD, plus a likely physical situation that is resulting in a lot of issues for me right now that are causing me to unintentionally drop the ball on a lot of things. Yes I know it's a problem, and am working with doctors to figure it out. Yes I mean well and have good intentions. Yes I feel like a piece of **** every time it happens. I've pretty much lost my business because of it. Many people have reacted as suggested above. A few compassionate customers have reacted with kindness and support, even if they do end up going elsewhere for their services. That has meant a lot to me.
I'm not saying that's the case in your situation, but there are some of us out here who truly are struggling, and I wholeheartedly agree with those who have suggested working with the person/co-workers to find a solution if that's indeed the case.
Not everyone who appears to be a lazy bum is truly a lazy bum - at least that's what they keep telling me.
I'm sorry. I don't know what the answer is. As I said before I feel that this person has ADD, that's why I have given her so many breaks, but it's several times a week and I'm the one who is put out each time. FWIW, I am never EVER mean. I'm sorry you'r egoing through this and I don't think anyone implied that someone was a lazy bum. Did I miss that? No, you didn't give that impression, but some of the comments did, and I just wanted to share what it can be like on the "other side". I appreciate your kindness and compassion towards your co-worker. |
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If this is a cycle and you know that no matter how many conversations you have about it will not prevent it from happening in the future, just say that and move on. When you know it's just part of the game, there is no point in wasting more time and energy trying to make it better. 
I'm sorry. I don't know what the answer is. As I said before I feel that this person has ADD, that's why I have given her so many breaks, but it's several times a week and I'm the one who is put out each time. FWIW, I am never EVER mean. I'm sorry you'r egoing through this and I don't think anyone implied that someone was a lazy bum. Did I miss that? 
