stittsygirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,600 
Location: In the leaves and rain.
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Post by stittsygirl on Aug 4, 2014 23:30:42 GMT
The family is certain he died and they have a death certificate but no one ever followed up on the services they paid for. That's what we did for my MIL. We had a viewing and service first, then the mortuary took her for cremation. We received the ashes a week later. Leaving her cremains at the funeral home was never suggested. I guess I can understand the reasons behind it, but it still seems odd to me. Lots of room for error or loss apparently. MIL is in one of my best pieces of Polish Pottery, that she purchased for me, in my hutch  . |
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Post by 1lear on Aug 4, 2014 23:38:03 GMT
I wouldn't think they'd have any recourse after 14 years, although I'd be interested in what the laws are.
My dad is sitting in my mom's closet-I don't think she'll ever do anything with his ashes so my sister's and I will have to decide what to do when she dies.
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Post by whipea on Aug 4, 2014 23:50:07 GMT
If I was in the position of the coworker, I probably would not have attended a scattering or placement of ashes. Not something I do and the disposal of someones remains has nothing do with or has no reflection of how much I cared about the person. But following up 14 years later, that is a bit off. If I was that concerned I would have followed up shortly after the cremation.
I never had any type of service or ceremony for either of my parents. Not my thing and there really isn't any family. They were both cremated and are in my closet, it is what is comfortable for me.
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Post by straggler on Aug 5, 2014 0:59:45 GMT
colleen...I am so sorry, but I laughed at your comment. My sincere apologies! And I am sure your Mother appreciated you moving her to a more appropriate seat.
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Post by MsChiff on Aug 5, 2014 1:14:59 GMT
If they have no record for the FIL, is it possible that another funeral home handled the remains? It seems like there would be at least a record of the process. If your MIl's bank records aren't available, you could look for a memorial card or a newspaper notice. They usually list the funeral home. The family is very thrifty hence cremation and no services. There was no memorial card or newspaper notice. Is the very thrifty family aware that lawsuits cost money? If they didn't care enough to follow up on the disposition of their FIL's cremains 14 years ago, they shouldn't care now. |
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Post by redayh on Aug 5, 2014 1:37:09 GMT
Are they so very thrifty that they're trying to get these services for free? Just a thought. But grief does make people do strange things, so maybe they are really upset.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Aug 5, 2014 1:50:41 GMT
My father was cremated and his cremains rest in a columbarium at their church. When my mother dies, she will be cremated as well. At that point, it their wishes that I "take them on a fabulous vacation somewhere and leave them behind." And that is exactly what I will do.
In your co-worker's case, I think if they can't remember what they did with their supposedly beloved family member, it is hardly the funeral home's responsibility to "prove" it to them after fourteen years. Geesh.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Aug 5, 2014 1:57:18 GMT
They are going to call the State Board that regulates funeral homes. I guess I'm not sure what they are trying to rectify with a law suit. Aren't law suits to right a wrong? Yes I know there is fraud in the industry but given what the services the family expected, I'm not sure. I imagine that if they found out that instead of being cremated, the body had been donated to a medical school - the family could rightly be upset about the treatment of the remains. While the family clearly didn't have a high level of interest in disposition of the remains, that doesn't mean that the funeral home could do anything they wanted with the body and the family would be fine with it. My first thought was Tri-State Crematory. |
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Post by meowgal on Aug 5, 2014 15:44:08 GMT
This reminds me of when my mom passed. After her cremation, but before she was interred my dad put her urn on the dining room table. I just remember thinking, "Mom would never sit on the table." So I put her in her chair. Funny how we think. When my Dad passed, we had his box (which was in a burgundy velvet bag) sitting on a stool in the formal living room. My Mum walked in and said, "Oh, Look! Doug matches the rug"...which struck us all as funny because he was a very coordinated, particular kind of guy. |
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Post by colleen on Aug 5, 2014 16:42:46 GMT
This reminds me of when my mom passed. After her cremation, but before she was interred my dad put her urn on the dining room table. I just remember thinking, "Mom would never sit on the table." So I put her in her chair. Funny how we think. When my Dad passed, we had his box (which was in a burgundy velvet bag) sitting on a stool in the formal living room. My Mum walked in and said, "Oh, Look! Doug matches the rug"...which struck us all as funny because he was a very coordinated, particular kind of guy. It is strange, isn't it? It's like you are so raw and vulnerable that your thoughts have a kind of pure simplicity. I like that Doug matched the rug! |
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musicmaker
New Member
Posts: 6
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Post by musicmaker on Aug 6, 2014 0:43:28 GMT
In our state the funeral home is listed on the death certificate. That might be one place to check to make sure they have the correct funeral home.
Lisa
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