Update! My niece...

  That's great news! How old is she? (I don't remember the original post, sorry). 

I remember your original post. I'm so glad that the visit went so well this year!

Nice to hear it went so well this year. Congrats on the wee one that will be here soon.

J

I didn't see the original post, but I am glad things are going better this year!

Would you mind sharing a good way to talk to children about this topic? Both before they are exposed to someone in a wheelchair and in their presence?

I ask because in another thread today we were discussing taking children to work and I mentioned how I want our (future) child to go to work with DH. He works as an occupational therapist in a nursing home, and it is important to us that they are comfortable around the elderly from the start. Reading your message reminds me they will not only be exposed to an older population than they are used to in day to day life, but also to different means of getting around including canes, walkers and wheelchairs. Any advice or thoughts you would can share would be much appreciated!

I'll chime in with suggestions on language to explain wheelchairs (and other mobility devices) to young kids. I've spent a lot of time doing it as an advocate for my son who's a non-verbal wheelchair user. Every year at the beginning of school, we'd take on an age-appropriate discussion with classmates and their families.

First, I think it's important to be very matter of fact about it. We don't do any big "this is a very special, magical thing" kind of speech. It's not. It's how the person gets around. You wear shoes, this person uses a wheelchair. Just like you would think it was kind of odd if someone came up and started putting on your shoes or moving your shoes around without asking, it's really inappropriate for anyone to move or handle a wheelchair unless they are invited to bu the user. It's part of their personal space. You should never push a chair or touch buttons on it unless you are told by the user that they would like you to. If a wheelchair is in front of you, don't kick the back of it -- it's annoying. If you're walking in front of a wheelchair, don't stop suddenly -- that makes it really hard to be a safe driver. At the same time, you don't have to act like it's tank about to mow you down. If you're friends with someone who uses a chair, you can get close to them or rest an arm on their tray or seat back -- pretty much the same personal boundaries rules you'd use with anyone.

Things that you can do that are helpful and nice -- push your chair under the table or desk all the way so there is space for a wheelchair to get by. Hold the door open fully. If you're not sure -- ask the person if it would be helpful for you to hold a door or if it's easier if you just get out of the way. When you are talking to someone who uses a wheelchair, make eye contact with them, not the person they're with. If someone in a wheelchair is part of the conversation, make the circle around them include them -- consciously make sure that you don't shift and leave them out. One thing that my son's friends learned to do and really enjoyed was being scouts to find the accessible pathways and be on the lookout for barriers. Recently one of his friends from Kindergarten saw me and told me that he still instinctively looks to see if places are really wheelchair accessible everywhere he goes -- something he learned hanging out with Daniel way back 11 years ago.

Thank you rst that is very helpful!