scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
|
Post by scrappinspidey2 on Jul 25, 2016 2:27:49 GMT
it will be four years since the accident that changed my world forever. Like every other year before it, this week has been so freaking stressful. When does that stop? It seems like everything that can go wrong does in the week leading up to the day. A lot of it I can't even talk about here but the stress level this year is probably one of the highest its been. The girl and I have made plans for Tuesday, which is the actual day. She mentioned the date was coming and wanted to do something other than sit at home. She gets out of band camp at noon so we are going to our favorite restaurant that is a bit of a drive so we rarely go and then we will go to the mall and hang out just wandering. We got a heck of a deal on her prom dress last year doing this so I hope we do the same this year as it would be something her dad would have liked (the cheap part not the mall wandering part ) I dunno. I feel like I have nobody to talk to because trust has been broken by so many since this started. The stress is eating me from the inside out and there is no relief from it. It isn't even grief stress. I did find an interesting group of women that meet twice a month. I have joined the group and will make a huge effort to get out of the house and join them on those two days. Even a hermit needs an outing now and then I did start going to the gym this last week. At 11pm because thats what hermits do....who knew there would be people at the gym at 11pm? ?? Are you kidding me??? Im trying to take steps towards changing things in my world but this small bit in time just still seems so dark. I hate it. I don't want dark. In all honesty I just want it to go away. I want my body to stop reminding me, because Im pretty good at forgetting myself if I try hard enough I want the universe to pick a different week to pick on me or at least give me football and zombies early??? Something to focus on other than this date and the stressful stuff going on at the moment. I know come Wednesday things will look different and feel different. That has been the way this has gone for four years, but these next two days are going to be brutal and there is no way out of them. The stress of the other issues will still be there but they won't be compounded by the date and the memories that always pop up. And if I can get these stressful things tied up in a bow this week, next year they shouldn't be an issue so that would be nice. Now Im just rambling. Thanks for listening to the ramblings of a crazy woman **UPDATE on page 3**
|
|
|
Post by Delta Dawn on Jul 25, 2016 2:30:01 GMT
^not crazy. Grieving yes. Crazy no.
|
|
mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,020
Jun 25, 2014 19:25:50 GMT
|
Post by mimima on Jul 25, 2016 2:32:22 GMT
Hugs. I'm sorry. Memory Eternal
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Jul 25, 2016 2:32:30 GMT
I don't know what to say, other than I am sorry it is so stressful and I wish you strength in the upcoming week.
|
|
|
Post by karen on Jul 25, 2016 2:34:36 GMT
Hugs
|
|
|
Post by danor98 on Jul 25, 2016 2:34:41 GMT
^not crazy. Grieving yes. Crazy no. Yes, not crazy at all. Hugs from me to you and yours.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 1:36:10 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2016 2:38:38 GMT
it will be four years since the accident that changed my world forever. Like every other year before it, this week has been so freaking stressful. When does that stop? It seems like everything that can go wrong does in the week leading up to the day. A lot of it I can't even talk about here but the stress level this year is probably one of the highest its been. The girl and I have made plans for Tuesday, which is the actual day. She mentioned the date was coming and wanted to do something other than sit at home. She gets out of band camp at noon so we are going to our favorite restaurant that is a bit of a drive so we rarely go and then we will go to the mall and hang out just wandering. We got a heck of a deal on her prom dress last year doing this so I hope we do the same this year as it would be something her dad would have liked (the cheap part not the mall wandering part ) I dunno. I feel like I have nobody to talk to because trust has been broken by so many since this started. The stress is eating me from the inside out and there is no relief from it. It isn't even grief stress. I did find an interesting group of women that meet twice a month. I have joined the group and will make a huge effort to get out of the house and join them on those two days. Even a hermit needs an outing now and then I did start going to the gym this last week. At 11pm because thats what hermits do....who knew there would be people at the gym at 11pm? ?? Are you kidding me??? Im trying to take steps towards changing things in my world but this small bit in time just still seems so dark. I hate it. I don't want dark. In all honesty I just want it to go away. I want my body to stop reminding me, because Im pretty good at forgetting myself if I try hard enough I want the universe to pick a different week to pick on me or at least give me football and zombies early??? Something to focus on other than this date and the stressful stuff going on at the moment. I know come Wednesday things will look different and feel different. That has been the way this has gone for four years, but these next two days are going to be brutal and there is no way out of them. The stress of the other issues will still be there but they won't be compounded by the date and the memories that always pop up. And if I can get these stressful things tied up in a bow this week, next year they shouldn't be an issue so that would be nice. Now Im just rambling. Thanks for listening to the ramblings of a crazy woman You aren't crazy. Hoping your week calms down immediately. As for all the people at the gym at night....... they are mostly just hermits like yourself. Sometimes there is something comforting about the night. As if I belong to it and not to the daytime. Save
|
|
|
Post by scrapbookwriter on Jul 25, 2016 2:41:57 GMT
Thinking of you, and wishing you you better days ahead. {{{Hugs}}}
|
|
M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
|
Post by M in Carolina on Jul 25, 2016 2:54:43 GMT
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with so much extra stress on top of what is already a very difficult anniversary. It is frustrating that you think that you've finally gotten back on your feet and made progress, and then, bam, the carpet gets whipped out from under you again.
I'm glad that you're able to do something fun with your daughter. I hope y'all have a good day. I admire you for taking time out to do something memorable with your dd when you just want to curl up in bed and sleep through the week.
I did want to suggest something that my dh did for me that really meant a lot. I had wanted a piece of jewellery to remind me of my dad and be a little something to keep him with me.
I have a Trollbeads' bracelet I never take off because I got it as the chain for my medic alert tag. I have loved getting beads for special occasions from my dh and mom.
So my dh surprised me and bought me a couple of new beads. I'm going to start a new bracelet, but he couldn't order the chain as well because I'm not 100% sure what length I need. I chose the Trollbead chain over Pandora because it's more flexible and sturdy, but now that my bracelet is full of beads, the chain is longer than I thought I'd be.
Dh found a compass rose bead and a seahorse. Both have a lot of meaning for me--my dad and I shared a love of flying airplanes and boating, and seahorse fathers are the ones who care for the eggs and babies. So now when I'm missing my dad, I just look down at my bracelet and have reminders of all the memories we have together and what he taught me.
My mom just bought my niece this pretty pink woven leather Pandora bracelet and a bead. It was beautiful but also a style that teen girls would really like. It was a lot less expensive than she thought and less expensive than the silver chains, and my niece loves it.
So maybe I thought you and your dd might want to do this, too. Something special you two have together.
|
|
|
Post by marmargirl on Jul 25, 2016 2:59:02 GMT
Hugs to you. I'm glad you and your daughter have made fun plans for the day. Enjoy your time together!
|
|
|
Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Jul 25, 2016 3:05:35 GMT
(((Hugs))) to you! I remember when it happened, and your strength as you have gone through so much since that day. I'm glad you and DD are going to do something fun that day, and I hope that you will have peace and comfort during this difficult time.
|
|
inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
|
Post by inkedup on Jul 25, 2016 3:06:36 GMT
I'm sorry for the loss of your husband. I'm sorry you are marking another year without him. It's all terrible and unfair.
I am sending good thoughts and hugs to you and your daughter.
|
|
|
Post by blarneygirl on Jul 25, 2016 3:06:49 GMT
Sending you my thoughts and prayers for what you have been dealing with on top of your grief. I'm 17 months out since my husband suddenly passed away. What might have been stressful but manageable as a couple, is so different when it's you alone tackling things and solving them alone. I'm glad you and your daughter have plans for the day, and that you have found an outlet for yourself with other people.
-Your Fellow Hermit
|
|
Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
Jun 25, 2014 19:53:37 GMT
|
Post by Mystie on Jul 25, 2016 3:39:19 GMT
I'm sorry. I pray the universe will ease up on you for the next few days and that the time will pass quickly while you mark this terribly sad anniversary.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 25, 2016 3:41:13 GMT
I'm so sorry. Wishing for brighter days ahead and hugs for both of you.
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on Jul 25, 2016 3:42:38 GMT
I'm sorry {{hugs}}
|
|
purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,734
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
|
Post by purplebee on Jul 25, 2016 4:03:06 GMT
Hugs to you, and prayers and wishes for peace and comfort.
|
|
|
Post by alexa11 on Jul 25, 2016 4:28:34 GMT
I understand completely. Wednesday will be a tough one for me, as well. What used to be such a happy day will be one filled with tears. Hugs to you.
|
|
|
Post by papersilly on Jul 25, 2016 4:57:07 GMT
I remember reading your posts back when it happened. I hope you find some comfort in the warm memories you have and not as much pain from that specific moment.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 1:36:10 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2016 4:57:34 GMT
I'm so sorry that things keep being so difficult. If anyone deserves a break and for good things to happen, it's you. {{{HUGS}}}
L
|
|
mochi
Full Member
Posts: 449
Jun 26, 2014 1:45:16 GMT
|
Post by mochi on Jul 25, 2016 5:58:28 GMT
Big big (((hugs))) to you. If you need anyone to talk to, we are always here for you. Sending you lots of love.
|
|
*Marjorie*
Full Member
Posts: 360
Location: Hawaii
Jun 26, 2014 16:43:45 GMT
|
Post by *Marjorie* on Jul 25, 2016 6:10:23 GMT
(((Hugs))) Next month will be two years out for me.
Last year I went on a trip to WDW solo. I left on the day he passed. I just couldn't be at home since he passed in his sleep.
This year I'm off to California with my daughter.
|
|
eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
|
Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 25, 2016 8:49:49 GMT
Hugs. I'm sorry that you're hurting.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 1:36:10 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2016 9:23:41 GMT
Morning, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY...there in no one way to grieve, all you can do is go one day at a time (cheesy but true). Go and remember with your daughter, workout at 11am, sit around, go out do what YOU need to.
|
|
|
Post by gar on Jul 25, 2016 9:24:13 GMT
Big hugs....I can hear your pain. I hope the day is better than you think it can be...I hope you can find some peace of mind. Thinking of you...
|
|
|
Post by welshjenni on Jul 25, 2016 9:34:45 GMT
I hope that you and your DD enjoy your special day together and that at least some of the stresses melt away. xxx
|
|
msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
|
Post by msliz on Jul 25, 2016 10:07:28 GMT
More hugs.
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 25, 2016 10:39:06 GMT
I'm sorry for the stress in your life compounded by the pain of the anniversary of such a huge loss. I hope the world treats you kindly and gently... and that brighter days are ahead.
|
|
|
Post by Merge on Jul 25, 2016 10:43:36 GMT
You are definitely not crazy. Big hugs to you.
It helps me immensely to go out and do something positive - volunteer, donate blood, etc. - on these sad anniversaries. Gives me something else to focus on.
|
|
|
Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 25, 2016 11:02:09 GMT
(((hugs)))
I wish you strength.
Be kind to yourself.
|
|