8 skills everyone should have by age 18-interesting read

I hope I can articulate this so that I can make my point without sounding like an idiot...

But yes, I read that article and think it is common sense. These are the things that we want our children to learn. But then we get threads that when we ask about advice for the kids, people say 'of course you should help out, they are only 18. They are just kids and just because they are 18 we shouldn't throw them to the wolves to fend for themselves. They have to learn (for example) to advocate for themselves!! 

So sometimes I think it is a mixed message sometimes. Professionals say one thing in articles like this, but parents on forums and conversations say something exactly opposite. Is it that by the time they are 18 they should know how to do these things? Or do we step in and coach them? 

I am screwed on #1.

I don't have any problem with any parent coaching their kids at ANY AGE on what is the right thing to do.  I think the issue is doing it for them so they have zero clues on what to do.

My son (21) recently had to emergency move out of his apartment because he found mold and the landlord wouldn't fix the problem.  He got really ill.  Trust me, my momma bear was in full force and I wanted to kick the guy's ass but I MADE my son take care of it - even though he wasn't feeling well.  I could have taken time off work, driven 4 hours with a trailer, loaded him up and moved him after kicking his landlord's ass, but I kept telling myself, "what would he do if I weren't here.  Make him learn how."  And he did it.  I did offer to pay for someone to help him move, and for a hotel room and he didn't accept either.  He got it all figured out with lots of *coaching* from mom.  Not doing.

The biggest damage you can do to your children (well, besides abuse) is to do it all for them.  One of my sayings has always been "if you don't try, how will you learn?"

Great list. I have some work colleagues in their 20s who should read that article!

I would say we taught our kids to do most those things...and gave them an opportunity to practice..especially as part of scouts. they did international travel in high school, they went away across the state to events...they are pretty independent..except for child with disability.

If you are needing to coach an 18 year old on any of these, you failed parenting.  You coach for this stuff starting at 5-6-10 years old. By 16 you might need to give a reminder but they really should be self reliant and know how to do all of this well before 18. 
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I agree, and as I said, I think that I am having trouble explaining what I meant. 

These are things we are supposed to be teaching our children. We want them to be strong and independent and able to take of themselves. I have tried to teach my children these things.

But I also have to admit, I am always surprised when I read posts where people say that of course you should step in to help after all, 18 isn't a magic number that means that they automatically know what to do. But when I read that I think maybe they don't automatically know, but if the skills to figure it out are taught, then we don't have to step in.

I say all this because I am watching my son struggle with an issue related to going off to college in August. I asked once if he wanted some advice, and he categorically said no. I have taught him how to reason his way through problems, and I know that he will eventually figure it out. It is going to be an ass pain for him, but it will work out in the end and he will have done it himself. But I know that if I asked here, I would be told that this is one of those times that I *should* step in because the consequences warrant it. And I know that if he reaches a point where he can't figure out what the next step is, he will ask. But I am staying out of it until (or if) he reaches that point. So far, he is figuring it out but it has been a one step forward, two step backwards kind of thing that frankly if I stepped in it would be fixed in about a day.

That is what I mean by mixed messages. We say we are teaching these skills, but we are also quick to say that because they are young, we shouldn't just send them out into the world to figure it out on their own. 

I don't know if I am explaining it well. 

There is a difference between helping and just doing for a child.

My oldest (now almost 25) - yup - no problem. And he could cook, clean, sew (basic stuff by hand and machine), do childcare (including diapers - even cloth with pins), laundry, basic car stuff etc...

My 16 y/o? I just put her on a plane last week to fly for the first time (yes, she had to change planes). She went to stay with my mum and I specifically told my mum that I was okay with her dropping DD off downtown or at the beach and letting her wander around. My mum said that she put DD in charge of navigating (with a map) both on the way home from the airport and on the 7 hr drive to my sister's house - DD hasn't been in that part of the country since she was 7 - and that she was an excellent navigator. I have no worries about her either. She also knows all the practical skills her brother does (except cloth diapers with pins - my youngest's had velcro)

My 9 y/o - she's well on track both with the skills in the article and the practical skills.

My nephew was making fun of his mom for not ever teaching him how to do the laundry. He was out of college before he learned.  He brought it home every weekend.  When he finally moved too far away for his mom to do his laundry, he used dishwasher soap in the washing machine and had a huge mess.  His heckling her came about because she thought the fact that I had my boys doing their own laundry at 7 was horrible.  

I don't know if either one of my boys would know how to use an electric can opener.  I only have the hand crank kind.

Well good to know I think my 2 oldest are doing pretty good according to the list. My oldest is on his own by the age of 19.. although even being in the Air Force, he was 'taken' care of... but he is out of the house, earning his own money and this year he has to get his own apartment (they can only live on base 3 years)... so the real test will start in August.

My 19 year old is doing pretty good, although we have still to manage money a bit better (although that is the one I struggle with).. but she handled enrolling in school all by herself (I jumped in once to help at the tail end) but she had done everything else on her own.

My 8 year old dd just flew on a plane (with a friend) on her own. Which was HARD for me.. but she did great. One more step... ugggg.

NOT saying my kids are perfect.. there have been UPS and DOWNS...

Oh, I completely agree with you.  I probably worded it wrong.  I basically was implying that knowing how to get somewhere isn't really a skill we need anymore since most people have a GPS in some format - either built into their car, a handheld one or an app. 

And on that note, I will say that I missed my chance at my million dollar idea.  When I was 20, I was driving to visit my boyfriend who lived about an hour away.  I had never driven there myself and certainly didn't pay attention when he drove.  I had my little directions, but of course, second-guessed myself and started to panic, thinking I had missed my exit.  I remember wishing the radio DJ could simply say, 'Relax, TiffanyTwisted!  You haven't missed your exit.  It's coming up in 3 miles.'  Yes, I had the idea for GPS in the 80's.  Too bad I didn't act on it, lol.