River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,575
Location: Alabama
Member is Online
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Aug 5, 2014 15:44:27 GMT
I'm wondering if the hurt feelings that seems to be going around right now is due to misconception. I know for a while, I had the feeling that the new board was "nice" (and bordering on boring). It was so nice in fact, that a lot of NSBR lurkers were coming out of the shadows (including me). Now things are getting a little more like pea land and people are getting shocked and hurt because they didn't get the high fives, prayers or whatever that was taking place at the beginning of this board.
I do hope the lurkers continue to stay out of the shadows and don't let the last week or two chase you back. Just remember, this is STILL THE SAME PEOPLE from two peas and the usual snark and hand slapping is part of the fun.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Aug 5, 2014 15:47:42 GMT
Well said. I totally agree.
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,971
Location: NW PA
Jun 25, 2014 23:50:38 GMT
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Post by Judy26 on Aug 5, 2014 15:55:22 GMT
I think Pea Reality has set in. New acquaintances play nice but family is honest with each other and tend not to mince words. There is a happy median between being syrupy sweet and down right bitchy. On any given post you will probably get a few of the sweet, lots of honest advise and a dollop of the snarky bitch. The pile ons from the past are what will drive away new posters if they start running rampant over innocent posters. Those who thrive on poking the puppy, however, probably deserve to get bit.
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Post by triplejscrapper on Aug 5, 2014 15:55:23 GMT
I'm wondering if the hurt feelings that seems to be going around right now is due to misconception. I know for a while, I had the feeling that the new board was "nice" (and bordering on boring). It was so nice in fact, that a lot of NSBR lurkers were coming out of the shadows (including me). Now things are getting a little more like pea land and people are getting shocked and hurt because they didn't get the high fives, prayers or whatever that was taking place at the beginning of this board. I do hope the lurkers continue to stay out of the shadows and don't let the last week or two chase you back. Just remember, this is STILL THE SAME PEOPLE from two peas and the usual snark and hand slapping is part of the fun. When I lurked on the old board I never thought the "usual snark" and "handslapping" was all that fun. Some of the pile-ons where not exactly fun to watch. I am guilty of being lulled by the "honeymoon" of the new board and I'm very, very thankful that I've not revealed anymore of myself here.
Many times over the last month there have been things I would have liked to bring to the board for discussion...not now. As was mentioned in a previous thread I read this morning-I'll just stick to the fluff posts.
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Post by kimpossible on Aug 5, 2014 15:58:47 GMT
I'm wondering if the hurt feelings that seems to be going around right now is due to misconception. I know for a while, I had the feeling that the new board was "nice" (and bordering on boring). It was so nice in fact, that a lot of NSBR lurkers were coming out of the shadows (including me). Now things are getting a little more like pea land and people are getting shocked and hurt because they didn't get the high fives, prayers or whatever that was taking place at the beginning of this board. I do hope the lurkers continue to stay out of the shadows and don't let the last week or two chase you back. Just remember, this is STILL THE SAME PEOPLE from two peas and the usual snark and hand slapping is part of the fun. Yes, I agree!
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,790
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Aug 5, 2014 16:06:57 GMT
I do hope the lurkers continue to stay out of the shadows and don't let the last week or two chase you back. Just remember, this is STILL THE SAME PEOPLE from two peas and the usual snark and hand slapping is part of the fun. I can't remember which threads it was but in the not so distant past I saw more than one reference to "those peas." It made me cringe a little bit. I LOVE that we have more people feeling comfortable enough to post...that's awesome and I hope it continues! But we are still the same people. *We* are "those peas."
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,022
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Aug 5, 2014 16:07:29 GMT
I didn't post that much on the old board. I do feel more welcomed here. The problem is, the more you post, the more likely you will get into a disagreement with someone. I know the Gaza thread has become very nasty, with names being called, etc. I stopped posting on that thread for that reason.
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admin
Chatterbox
Refupea #1 - jumping right out of the Pod and loving it!
Posts: 648
Location: testing testing...
Administrator
Jun 25, 2014 19:10:46 GMT
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Post by admin on Aug 5, 2014 16:11:38 GMT
I'm wondering if the hurt feelings that seems to be going around right now is due to misconception. I know for a while, I had the feeling that the new board was "nice" (and bordering on boring). It was so nice in fact, that a lot of NSBR lurkers were coming out of the shadows (including me). Now things are getting a little more like pea land and people are getting shocked and hurt because they didn't get the high fives, prayers or whatever that was taking place at the beginning of this board. I think you're right. Except I think they are still getting those things, just they're now also getting/seeing some snark etc as well. I also hope the lurkers stick around - and even more come out of the woodwork. I firmly believe that if you enjoy reading here (and if you don't, why bother?!) then you'll get even more out of it if you join in even just a little bit. Even if it feels like you're invisible, if you're posting that's not true. I may only be able to name say a hundred posters off the top of my head, but as new members kept registering I realized I actually know way more than that, and then when I see avatars I remember even more. It mostly just needs people to act like adults. If a thread upsets/annoys/bores you, skip over it. If an individual continually gets your goat, use the block function. If you think there should be more non-controversial threads, post one. If you think the non-controversial posts don't get enough replies, reply to them. If you've had enough of a conversation, step out of it. Don't ask a question if you're not prepared to listen to any other answers than the one you want. Be open to hearing other opinions. Realise that "the board" isn't any one thing, it is a collection of individuals who each act in their own way. Be able to see that even the snarkiest thread has plenty of value to offer if you are willing to look for it and not look for hurt. It is what we make it, and there's room for everyone.
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,575
Location: Alabama
Member is Online
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Aug 5, 2014 16:24:54 GMT
When I lurked on the old board I never thought the "usual snark" and "handslapping" was all that fun. Some of the pile-ons where not exactly fun to watch. This is very true. Thank you for putting this perspective here also.
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Post by theboydbunch on Aug 5, 2014 16:32:01 GMT
I didn't post that much on the old board. I do feel more welcomed here. The problem is, the more you post, the more likely you will get into a disagreement with someone. I know the Gaza thread has become very nasty, with names being called, etc. I stopped posting on that thread for that reason. I do understand that people have a difference of opinions and will disagree. I also think tone is hard to read often on a message board, and may be implied when it wasn't mean to be. What I don't understand is name calling among adults. ETA: I'm not familiar with the thread mentioned above, I was just speaking in general terms.
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Post by redrulz on Aug 5, 2014 16:41:20 GMT
I usually lurk, but posted occasionally when i feel I can add something of value to a thread. But, I'm not a prolific poster because I am a private person. I would love to join in more, but not sure how to do that and balance my privacy. If anyone has any tips it would be greatly appreciated! Everyone is so different; different personalities, life experiences, tempers (lol) and sense of humor that it is hard to NOT offend someone eventually. And pile-ons always seem more fun when you are NOT the one at the bottom of the pile. Disagreeing with someone is one thing, but I think it's always good to remember that an actual human is on the other end of the conversation. I know, duh. lol
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 20:34:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 16:44:00 GMT
I feel like there's been an effort by admin, nice peas, and unlurkers to sanitize this board and keep it sweet. I didn't much mind the old board - snark, handslaps and all. I felt that there were real people having real conversations and that stuff is part of it. The number of "hons" and "hugs" thrown out here the first several weeks made it seem less authentic. Maybe we're getting down to being real again?
The name calling, eh. Whatever. I'm not down with it but I admit to name calling IRL. My sisters and I refer to our stepmother as Itchy-Scratchy. Not to her face, but still. I also called my daughter a whiner yesterday and told her I'm sending her to Camp Complain. Name calling happens here, happens IRL.
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Post by lovetodigi on Aug 5, 2014 16:45:28 GMT
I do hope that the previous lurkers continue to post. I know that the NSBR "over there" was a scary place when I first joined the message board and I lurked for a long time before I got brave enough to join in. It wasn't as bad as it looked from the outside. I have certainly had my feelings hurt a time or two and even blocked some people, but then I kept being curious what they were posting, and it was tiring to keeping "looking", so I unblocked everybody. I just keep my big girl panties on and go with it. I do think that one thing that might help keep the calm, maybe two things. If we had a Political Board it would definitely help to keep a lot of the "scary" stuff off of this board. Maybe even a Prayer/Positive Thoughts Request Board for those that have a need and those that are open to offer to help. I love this place and would hate to see people back away from coming aboard. Just know that even though there may be some disagreement and sometimes feelings get hurt, when it comes down to it, most everyone here feels connected and cares about each other. No matter where you go in life, on the internet or in real live, there will be an occasional troublemaker that pops up and goes far beyond what is acceptable. It is unfortunate. There have also been some real life friendships that have formed from peas that have met through these boards. You just have to be careful.
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Post by cynipidae17 on Aug 5, 2014 16:48:50 GMT
As a former lurker, I am really just cautious. I plan to continue posting in hopes of helping keep this board alive.
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scrappinchar
Full Member
Posts: 113
Jul 29, 2014 12:54:19 GMT
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Post by scrappinchar on Aug 5, 2014 16:49:55 GMT
A forum I went to years ago, they had a place called "wasteland", where posts that got nasty went. So people could see them and post but it was buried a little deeper. In the normal rotation from the general chat about non SB related stuff. I always thought that was a great idea. Because first impressions are worth a lot and who wants their first impression to be arguing. I always avoided the NSBR forum on 2peas but I decided to be more involved with the new forum but I think if it continues down a nastier tone, I'll just stick with the SB forum.
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Post by joyfromny on Aug 5, 2014 16:51:12 GMT
As a former lurker, I am really just cautious. I plan to continue posting in hopes of helping keep this board alive. I agree.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 20:34:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 17:00:02 GMT
I usually lurk, but posted occasionally when i feel I can add something of value to a thread. But, I'm not a prolific poster because I am a private person. I would love to join in more, but not sure how to do that and balance my privacy. If anyone has any tips it would be greatly appreciated! Everyone is so different; different personalities, life experiences, tempers (lol) and sense of humor that it is hard to NOT offend someone eventually. And pile-ons always seem more fun when you are NOT the one at the bottom of the pile. Disagreeing with someone is one thing, but I think it's always good to remember that an actual human is on the other end of the conversation. I know, duh. lol How do post more without losing privacy? Talk in concepts, not personal. Don't get too detailed about identity. Keep names (family, company worked for, even city) out of the conversation. Be vigilant about using the same email address for multiple registrations. For example, here your email is visible by default. Someone can google it to see where else you post that has visible emails and be able to pick up information. Scrutinize what you link to such as a blog, photobucket or pinterest that can be traced back to personal information. Sometimes people will post a photo from their flikr or instagram without thinking about those sites having visible user names when it names the url so here you are redrulz but your flikr account says you are Sally Jones... or viewers being able to scroll through the entire listing of photos and can see school names, street names, etc. Make sure you understand how your webhosting site works before linking anything here. Then double check it!
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Post by jeremysgirl on Aug 5, 2014 17:14:37 GMT
All of us are human. We have moments where we act snarky. I know I try to remember that there is another human being on the other end of my comments so I try to treat others the way I would want to be treated. I admit that sometimes, I want to treat others the way they have treated me but it's just not the right thing to do. I enjoy the controversial posts but rarely participate in them because I just don't want the drama.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Aug 5, 2014 17:29:27 GMT
How do you block someone?
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DaisyDoodles
Full Member
Posts: 449
Jun 25, 2014 20:32:07 GMT
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Post by DaisyDoodles on Aug 5, 2014 17:34:35 GMT
I haven't been very active the last couple of weeks due to work and family commitments, but have been lurking around. I hate to see that people are getting hurt about things, but it happens. When you have a large group of people there is bound to be conflict from time to time, but there's no need for people to act like asses or pile on, and on the other hand, people shouldn't get so butt hurt about a snarky remark from a stranger on the internet !
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 20:34:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 17:36:10 GMT
How do you block someone? Under Profile > edit profile> privacy; down at the bottom is a "block" where you can enter a user name to block. Before you do that, the visible user name may not be their actual user name. Hover your cursor over their name to see what pops up in a tiny yellow menu box and block that name. It is the name they registered with.
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Post by Crazyhare on Aug 5, 2014 17:37:55 GMT
How do you block someone? Click the person's name and it opens their profile. click the little gear icon at the right side of the page. it brings the Block option in a drop down menu.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 20:34:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2014 17:40:46 GMT
Even easier!
In the long run the board will be what each of you makes of it. If people are afraid of possibly getting their feelings hurt so don't post the board WILL end up being over run by those who are much more aggressive.
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Post by hop2 on Aug 5, 2014 17:46:34 GMT
New board / old board doesn't really matter, it's still the internet, a public place, you still have to be wary what you reveal / put out there.
While I could do without some if the snark, and I really don't need the name calling, I DO enjoy the diversity of opinion. I like to see the ( respectful ) other side, the side I might not have considered or thought about due to my life path experiences. I think it makes me a better person when I can understand who/what I am choosing to agree or disagree with.
I hope to come across respectful, I try to, but sometimes I read what i wrote in the voice with which I wrote it and I don't see how it may come across to someone who is not in my head. ( did that make sense? ) And sometimes what us kidding around to me is not kidding around to the other person.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 5, 2014 17:47:29 GMT
I'm just a pretty snarky person in general.
I'll admit that.
I just don't understand what makes some people get hurt over message boards. If you are so sensitive that your real life feelings get hurt over a little snark then maybe a message board isn't for you.
I don't understand why some people get their feelings hurt instead of just closing the thread and not coming back.
I personally miss the put your big girl panties on attitude of days gone by.
I thought the hurt feelings thread that was posted this morning was beyond ridiculous. I didn't even think anything that was posted to or about that OP qualified as snark.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Aug 5, 2014 17:54:08 GMT
You just have to understand that when you get a whole bunch of people together (mostly women), there is going to be a lot of different ways things are said and how they are taken. Let's face it, not everyone can be nice all the time. It's all about diversity. Most people are looking for different opinions and here, you get them! I plan on staying out of lurkdom!
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Post by BeckyTech on Aug 5, 2014 17:55:22 GMT
and then when I see avatars I remember even more. I know, right? There were so many people who posted that they only had a very small number of posts and felt invisible, but yet I remembered their avatar and hadn't even realized they weren't a prolific poster. Unfortunately for me, the cartoon heads (for lack of a better term) all blend together and aren't nearly as distinctive as a real avatar. It really hampers my ability to distinguish people on here! It mostly just needs people to act like adults. If a thread upsets/annoys/bores you, skip over it. If an individual continually gets your goat, use the block function. If you think there should be more non-controversial threads, post one. If you think the non-controversial posts don't get enough replies, reply to them. If you've had enough of a conversation, step out of it. Don't ask a question if you're not prepared to listen to any other answers than the one you want. Be open to hearing other opinions. Realise that "the board" isn't any one thing, it is a collection of individuals who each act in their own way. Be able to see that even the snarkiest thread has plenty of value to offer if you are willing to look for it and not look for hurt. It is what we make it, and there's room for everyone. This! This should be posted underneath the rules of the board as the board philosophy. Succinctly stated!
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admin
Chatterbox
Refupea #1 - jumping right out of the Pod and loving it!
Posts: 648
Location: testing testing...
Administrator
Jun 25, 2014 19:10:46 GMT
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Post by admin on Aug 5, 2014 17:56:46 GMT
Some of the pile-ons where not exactly fun to watch. That's very true, but it's also true that it's your choice to watch - or not. Every thread will not, and cannot, be everything to everyone. Perfectly put! In the long run the board will be what each of you makes of it. If people are afraid of possibly getting their feelings hurt so don't post the board WILL end up being over run by those who are much more aggressive. I completely agree. I'm not trying to sanitize anything, but I am trying to do what I can to stop that happening. I want as many people to stick around as possible.
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Post by anonrefugee on Aug 5, 2014 18:00:14 GMT
I didn't post that much on the old board. I do feel more welcomed here. The problem is, the more you post, the more likely you will get into a disagreement with someone. I know the Gaza thread has become very nasty, with names being called, etc. I stopped posting on that thread for that reason. I'm sorry to hear that. I haven't read since page three and it was very informative. I had a really great talk with DS about getting news sources and history due to that thread. As to OP, I agree. I used to lurk but have come out of my shell here. Mainly due to a name change - not that I posted much. But there was someone from where we used to live that seemed to notice every time I posted anything. It was a little odd, we were never close. No one likes criticism, but I've appreciated getting different viewpoints. Sometimes my bubble gets small and I lose perspective. Getting feedback helps.
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Post by penny on Aug 5, 2014 18:20:03 GMT
I love the lurkers coming out! I hope that they know that they are 100% welcome and that the huge majority love when they post This board will belong to whoever uses it - so stake your claim because it's yours as much as anyone else's
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