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Post by penny on Aug 5, 2014 19:01:25 GMT
This week has made me think about what I share/don't share... Most of the time I go by gut feeling, and try to limit details if I'm speaking about someone else... I haven't actually sat and thought where my boundaries are though, until now...
I'm curious how others decide what/how much they're willing to share... And I'm really curious how bloggers - who aren't doing it as part of a job/work requirement, decide how much of their life they want to share...
I love reading scrapbooking blogs because of the stories - either the ones that are told or the ones that are shown in the projects... I'm not sure other hobbies are the same this way... If you were quilting, you might share who you're making the quilt for or why, but pictures of the people, the special event, the name of the place, journalling about it wouldn't show in your project the way it does with scrapbooking...
I think if you're always scared about sharing your life/hobby then you miss out on some great things - especially all the wonderful people and friendships... But you still want to be smart and safe... How do you all decided where your limits are? How much do you think or worry about the negative possibilities, and how do you weigh that against all the good?
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,815 
Member is Online
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Post by Just T on Aug 5, 2014 19:16:14 GMT
I have a few unwritten rules for myself. I don't post anything about my children that is of super importance. For instance, my 20 year old son has had a very rough year and has been through some really rotten stuff, and I would NEVER feel right about posting the details about it here or anywhere else. I do write a blog, and I would never write about the details there either.
If I am posting about my job, I make sure it is something I wouldn't mind my co workers, clients or boss reading. There is NO way I will ever vent about a co worker, or a specific thing that happens at work. I have often posted where I work, I've linked to our website and suggested our resources to peas, I've asked peas to write articles for our newsletter and asked for input on articles I write...above and beyond that, I don't feel comfortable.
I do not feel comfortable venting/posting details about problems I may be having with a friend. I know how small of a world the internet is, and you just never know who is reading. I would be so mortified if I vented about a friend here, or anywhere else on the internet, and that person accidentally came across it. Sometimes, even though the name might be anonymous, situations are posted about with so many details that it would be clear who the person was talking about. If the situation was reversed, I would feel so betrayed if I happened across a friend or anyone else venting about me on a message board. |
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Trixie Bender
Pearl Clutcher
It's all fun and games until someone doesn't pick up on the sarcasm
Posts: 3,691
Location: Boldly going nowhere
Jun 26, 2014 11:31:57 GMT
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Post by Trixie Bender on Aug 5, 2014 19:20:48 GMT
I share slightly less online than I do IRL. Which means I share next to nothing. I'm not big on sharing personal information anywhere.
ETA: Personal info: I'm horrible at spelling.
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 5, 2014 19:21:41 GMT
I try to keep it mostly fluffy. What's for dinner, TV show threads and a vent here and there. Most of the time I write out an entire post, sigh and delete it. In fact I almost did it just now!
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Post by hopechest on Aug 5, 2014 19:31:46 GMT
I won't post anything that I would be upset if anyone in my life would read. Mother, boss, BFF...whatever.
I'm pretty private so you wont get much at all outta me.
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gloryjoy
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,332
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Post by gloryjoy on Aug 5, 2014 19:36:16 GMT
I don't post things about my son's or my husband. My son's are adults and I respect their privacy.
I don't post anything that would upset or humiliate anybody. I think to myself "would I want my husband on a classic car board bitching about me?" No, so I don't post things about him.
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Post by alibama on Aug 5, 2014 19:46:36 GMT
I don't post much at all. I do post pictures for the family when there is an event going on. I am always the one with the camera. I do share stuff occasionally.
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Post by scrapmaven on Aug 5, 2014 19:54:47 GMT
I don't post photos or give details, etc about my family. I don't give name/locations or other personal info. I enjoy peaing, love the what's for dinner threads and get some great tips and ideas for everything from manicures to cleaning the tub. However, I don't trust any of you, because I don't know you IRL. KWIM?
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Post by leslie132 on Aug 5, 2014 19:55:44 GMT
Typically I post things that I really need to talk about. 2 big items for me were my daughters passing and my more recent SIL drama. I post these items, because even though they are extremely personal, I feel that it is easier to "drop" information on strangers than it is to talk to friends or family. I am a talker/processor.....I need to bounce ideas around and have ideas thrown at me. Just sharing, but not feeling like I'm burdening really helps me. And with this I believe I am a Throbbing Member  |
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Post by Merge on Aug 5, 2014 20:00:41 GMT
Honestly, I'll be sharing much less from now on. The tone from several posters lately is ... threatening in a way I've never perceived before. People who were perfectly pleasant in the old board.
You can believe that once school starts I'll be posting only rarely. Don't want to draw the attention of someone who decides that a 4 PM post means I'm not doing my job and feels the need to sleuth out where I work so they can report it.
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Post by melonhead on Aug 5, 2014 20:01:00 GMT
I also would not post anything that I wouldn't want anyone in my real life to read. Including my boss or coworkers. Notthat any of them read my blog, but strange things can happen.
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duopenotti
Junior Member
Posts: 70
Location: The Netherlands..the real Orange Country
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Post by duopenotti on Aug 5, 2014 20:05:05 GMT
I think: would I like my neighbour to know this about me? The answer usually is NO.
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duopenotti
Junior Member
Posts: 70
Location: The Netherlands..the real Orange Country
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Post by duopenotti on Aug 5, 2014 20:06:46 GMT
Honestly, I'll be sharing much less from now on. The tone from several posters lately is ... threatening in a way I've never perceived before. People who were perfectly pleasant in the old board. You can believe that once school starts I'll be posting only rarely. Don't want to draw the attention of someone who decides that a 4 PM post means I'm not doing my job and feels the need to sleuth out where I work so they can report it. Really? That's so not cool and scary! |
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Post by Sam on Aug 5, 2014 20:14:45 GMT
You probably couldn't tell me much about myself from what I post, so I'm not overly worried about oversharing. You can contribute to any number of threads without giving away anything about your personal life. There have been a couple of really personal, traumatic things that have happened to me recently, I chose not to share those either - not because I thought I would be 'outed' but because that is not how I choose to spend my online time. Maybe it helps that I am kind of private IRL. I can say with almost certainty that most people would have no idea who any one of us are even when expressing our views. It's only when details become more so that any one person 'might' put two and two together.....so, my message is to carry on and not worry too much for the majority and to make a few changes for the minority!  |
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 5, 2014 20:54:29 GMT
Honestly, I'll be sharing much less from now on. The tone from several posters lately is ... threatening in a way I've never perceived before. People who were perfectly pleasant in the old board. You can believe that once school starts I'll be posting only rarely. Don't want to draw the attention of someone who decides that a 4 PM post means I'm not doing my job and feels the need to sleuth out where I work so they can report it. Oops, I didn't mean to like this. I wanted to quote it because I dislike this a lot. It bums me out that you won't be participating as much. I don't think I share important details, and I don't think I'm above the radar enough to make me any kind of target. I'm just not interesting or controversial enough. Although I've probably shared enough here to put together a basic picture of who I am I don't think it's much. There's a lot more of me out there on facebook, etc. I only have one Pea facebook friend who I've met and trust, and a few Peas have my address. So I guess I'm contradicting myself all over the place. But I don't think I could contain and control the crazy here anymore than the crazy I might cross paths with on a random day IRL. But it all certainly makes me think what I put out there. |
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,580
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Aug 5, 2014 21:04:35 GMT
But I don't think I could contain and control the crazy here anymore than the crazy I might cross paths with on a random day IRL. But it all certainly makes me think what I put out there. Good point. Maybe is it because there is a potential for so MANY MORE people to see your info? As opposed to someone who might stalk you from the gas station or Target shopping trip? I probably do overshare. There are actually a couple of things lately that I'd love to discuss, but have held back because of concern that the people I'd be discussing would be unhappy with me. BUt generally if it's about ME, I'll talk to the peas if I feel like it. |
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 5, 2014 21:10:06 GMT
I have mentioned my profession and my coeliac disease in posts. I doubt anyone could find me because of this. I have mentioned family in passing, but never give any detail, such as children's names. I would NEVER post a video or photo of any of my children, ever. Way too easy to identify people from that sort of detail.
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Post by lovemybabes on Aug 5, 2014 21:19:19 GMT
I recently made my blog private. I used to share a lot of photos, especially of my kids. First names only, and I thought I was being careful. I had a few emails from someone that told me how beautiful my kids were, and it just made me feel weird. It was anonymous. I went back through, and looked at some tennis photos of my teen. Realized the name of her high school was pretty obvious, and I decided that I had not been careful enough.  I started the blog so family could keep up with us, some that don't have facebook or whatnot. I never got anymore emails, but I am still anxious about it. I do miss it, and may start a new one, just be more anonymous, and have no personal photos. I never wrote about anyone, or any really major issues, I just liked sharing about us. |
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Aug 5, 2014 21:21:25 GMT
Let me just quote myself from another thread: If you wouldn't scream it at the top of your lungs in the middle of a crowded mall, then you probably shouldn't be posting it online. Period. |
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,790
Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Aug 5, 2014 21:24:13 GMT
That's a good question. I don't mind sharing my personal experiences but I'm not comfortable speaking for others so I guess I use that to an extent. I'm also far more trusting of other sites/social media than I am of some of the things that have happened on Peas. I have an online presence for my job. I'm fine sharing on Facebook. How much do *you* know about me? You've never seen a picture of me. I've only ever shared I think one picture of my DDs ever on 2Ps. I just don't post identifying information HERE. I know the vast majority are kind people I would be friends with IRL. Unfortunately there are a few bad peas that have spoiled a little bit of the fun.
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Post by scrapmaven on Aug 5, 2014 23:58:22 GMT
When we moved to this board I reminded myself that we are the same group of peas from the old board. We just have a fresh look and an admin who is a doll for doing this for us. That means that the same honest/dishonest/nice/mean/happy/troll peas are going to be here. This isn't a haven from trolls and pea detectives who cause harm to people's lives. Rather, it's a place to post things that you aren't worried could ever come back to bite you. Be careful. Don't be paranoid. Just remember that eventhough we share our lives and we do feel compassion and kinship w/others on the board we're all strangers and stranger danger rules do apply.
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Post by CarolT on Aug 6, 2014 1:01:26 GMT
I started teaching in 1994, right around the time the internet was really becoming a mainstream "thing" and newsgroups were all the rage.
I remember my principal telling us "don't ever put anything online that you would be embarrassed to have on the front page of the newspaper, attributed to you, with your picture right next to it".
I've always used that as my guide in what I shared online. It's not that everything I share or post is G-rated or sanitized, but I've never posted anything I would be uncomfortable "owning". I am myself online, but I make a point of not sharing things that would be hurtful to anyone else or things that would embarrass myself or anyone else I care about.
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Post by penny on Aug 6, 2014 2:00:17 GMT
Everyone has posted reasonable and logical boundaries... And most were similar to how I go about deciding what to post...
I don't have kids so that part is easy for me...lol The anon messages about your kids on your blog would've scared me too... I see bloggers post about their kids, especially PL style stuff, and it seems like they're sharing so much about who and where their kids are... When I was a child a girl my age was abducted nearby so all the parents went on high alert - no names on stuff, reporting strange vehicles, not announcing plans/talking about if they were going out and there was going to be a babysitter... It definitely effected what I consider 'risky' information...
When I was in school the test for if you should post something was, "can I quote you on that?" If you didn't want to be asked or have the comment attributed to yourself, probably best not to post it... But that only goes for opinions, possibly hurtful things, etc... I'm not sure it works for stuff like health questions or BTDT/advice stuff...
Between forums, fb, Instagram, LinkedIn, and everything else it's strange to think how many little pieces of yourself are out there...
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,408
Location: Dallas Texas
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Post by SabrinaP on Aug 6, 2014 2:03:46 GMT
I won't post anything that I would be upset if anyone in my life would read. Mother, boss, BFF...whatever. I'm pretty private so you wont get much at all outta me.  |
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Post by originalvanillabean on Aug 6, 2014 2:15:13 GMT
I'd like to think I am pretty careful, but frankly, I wouldn't say anything about you that I wouldn't say to your face so no issue with owning it. OTOH, privacy is important to me so I try to stay pretty guarded.
ETA: took out extra word
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 20:29:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2014 2:25:39 GMT
In regards to this board, I would be very leery about posting a lot of information about my family. I've been around a long time...not so much on this board, but I've witnessed how boundaries can be crossed by complete strangers and that's always been a problem for the NSBR and something that I will never understand. Personally, I can handle anything any whack job on this board can dish out, but like anyone else, don't fuck with my family or the momma bear comes out.
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linda~lou
Pearl Clutcher
Keep calm and eat crumpets
Posts: 2,744
Location: Motown but my heart is in San Francisco
Jun 25, 2014 21:57:08 GMT
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Post by linda~lou on Aug 6, 2014 2:41:24 GMT
I don't share a lot and what I do share is pretty much all fluff stuff. I always think my life is so boring who the heck would want to stalk me. I love being able to share my life with friends, family, grand kids, even my cyber friends here. But IRL, you have to be careful what you say to people and it's no different here. Just because you can't see the person's face, doesn't mean they aren't real people. I filter what I say to my friends, I filter what I say on line. There is no difference. WHOA!!!! 666 posts! I am a beastly member!  Thanks Mother!!! |
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Post by papersilly on Aug 6, 2014 3:02:51 GMT
I share what I'm willing to have people know about (and ha ha, even quote). I often share about my mom getting sick and dying. not so much the specifics of her illness but more about what we went through with hospice care. I share about my ILs being hoarders. not filthy hoarders, just shopaholic, free spending, too much stuff hoarding. other than that, I don't really get into the specifics of my job, my husband or my family. I share general things about my life but i don't think anymore than other people share around here. i share enough for people to learn a bit about me but not enough to keeping a detailed spreadsheet on me.
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Aug 6, 2014 3:24:57 GMT
My rule of thumb is that I share what can be seen in public. First names and faces are seen in the parking lot; car brand is seen on the road; etc. My 2nd rule of thumb is to only share what I would want my mom to read. No sex talk or wild stories, not that there are any.
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Grom Pea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,944
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Post by Grom Pea on Aug 6, 2014 4:44:27 GMT
I don't share a lot but I bet someone who was really resourceful could track me down. I do have to say that people can be scary, one time on my break at work I emailed someone on craigslist about something for sale or something and the person said that they knew where I worked (I used my work email which was admittedly dumb) and I shouldn't be on the internet during those hours...I wonder if it was a pea, lol.
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Thanks Mother!!!
refupea #245
