painterchic
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Jun 26, 2014 0:41:22 GMT
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Post by painterchic on Jun 28, 2014 13:24:35 GMT
Please no flames..I just needed to get this all out...
So my dd found a stray cat about 3 years ago. We never could really tame her enough to make her a house cat so she has been an outside cat. She isn't dog friendly, other cat friendly, she is just barely people friendly except with my dd.
We are moving roughly 10 hours at the end of next month and where we are going none of the houses we have found will allow outside pets. Unless you can keep them in the fenced yard. You can't keep a cat in a fenced yard.
We tried to bring her in again and OMG. remember her not being dog friendly? We have an 80+ lbs lab/shepherd mix that I am not really sure is cat friendly. He seemed to want to : hug her and love her" around the throat. She put a deep scratch in his nose before we could catch her and broke a few things on the end table while making laps as well. We got her back outside and didn't see her for a couple of days.
She is a very self sufficient cat..a hunter if you will. She rarely ever eats the food/water we put out for her.Sometimes we don't see her for several days at a time.
I am torn as to what to do with her and I have a heart broken child. At this point of staring down packing up a house relocating and settling a family of 6 ...I just want to cry with her. As a matter of fact I might have just done that the other day.
Can anyone think of anything other than rehoming her..or at leave PVM me on it so maybe I won't feel so "cold and heartless" ( my dd's words). She would be fantastic farm cat I think..or hell maybe I am just trying to make myself feel better about the situation.
Gahh..this shouldn't be this difficult at all.
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Post by pjaye on Jun 28, 2014 13:48:55 GMT
Your daughter is right, it is cold and heartless of you.
You can't simply decide to "half own" a pet. You either take total responsibility for it, or you don't ...but then do the right thing and find it another home, take it to the shelter or have it put to sleep.
You also can't bring an ex-stray cat into the house at random one day *and* with a big dog then throw your hands up and exclaim "well that didn't work"
What the hell did you think was going to happen?
Introducing a stray cat to living inside is often a long process and takes a lot of love and patience, and even well domesticated cats need time to adjust to other pets and that also needs to be handled carefully, not tossing them together and standing by while they almost kill each other.
You've handled this VERY badly right from the start and it sounds like you STILL aren't prepared to take responsibility and step up and do the right thing. Now your plan is to move and just abandon this cat after 3 years? Nice.
Take her to the shelter, they'll probably euthanize her, but that is better than being abandoned, being chased out of other people's gardens (or worse, potentially harmed by them) and with no regular vet care, fleas, worms and who knows what else.
Never mind the horrible example of pet care you are setting for your child.
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painterchic
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Jun 26, 2014 0:41:22 GMT
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Post by painterchic on Jun 28, 2014 13:54:06 GMT
Thanks pjaye. I did ask for no flames. Just opinions and no where did I say we would just abandon the cat. I did say rehome her ( or that she would make a fantastic farm cat..I assumed readers could get that meant rehome not " walk off and leave" Sorry for not clarifying that.. Thanks for reading all of it. Some thing never change even if it isn't the bucket. I don't have the luxury of time in this situation and I never said we for sure weren't taking her. Nice..sorry I even bothered.
OH and just for clarification..we spayed her over 2 years ago..we do give her flea treatments ,we do worm her. We don't treat her like a wild animal but thanks for assuming all of that on your own. I would never go off an abandon a cat. Or any animal. Ever. We used to foster dogs years ago. I also wouldn't take her to a shelter either. I would find a new home for her.
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Post by M on Jun 28, 2014 13:59:19 GMT
It sounds as if your mind has been made up that she is not making the trip with you. I am glad you will make arrangements for her and not just leaver her behind. Is she able to be picked up? Can you find a farm or a rescue for her?
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painterchic
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Jun 26, 2014 0:41:22 GMT
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Post by painterchic on Jun 28, 2014 14:02:42 GMT
M I am still not sure we won't take her. I just don't know how to help integrate her and I only have a few weeks to do everything. I am just not sure what to do but we were never going to just move and wish her the best of luck. I don't know that she could ever be an inside cat. If I thought we could keep her in my dd's room all the time until she was accustomed to being inside that might be an option but I don't know.
I really don't think the dog would hurt her..but I am not 100% sure about that either. She went nuts the very minute we brought her in. He was leashed but she bit my dd and scratched her arms up pretty good. We put the dog outside for a good while so she would calm down and allow my dd to catch her and take her back out. ..
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Post by ihaveonly1l on Jun 28, 2014 14:07:56 GMT
Is she a pet (like you take her to the vet, have a plan to get her fed while you are out of town, etc) or is she stray that just likes your yard?
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jj
Shy Member
Posts: 48 
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Post by jj on Jun 28, 2014 14:15:35 GMT
When we bought our house, it came with an outside cat. Yes, the previous owners left their outside cat when they moved. This cat had never been indoors. The next door neighbors agreed to be the new owners. This cat had always been outside and this was his territory. The previous owners thought he was too old to establish a new territory at their new home. We love cats anyway, so it wasn't a problem for us. It all worked out fine. We had cats at the time, but our cats were strictly indoor cats. You really can't turn an outside cat into an inside cat. Is there a neighbor who would agree to take over ownership?
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Post by petenthusiast on Jun 28, 2014 14:17:18 GMT
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painterchic
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Jun 26, 2014 0:41:22 GMT
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Post by painterchic on Jun 28, 2014 14:20:57 GMT
Well she is more of a stray b/c she is at everyone's house.I think she actually was set out here as no one in the neighborhood has outside females. There are a few tom cats running around. It is a very rural older neighborhood with lots of no less than 3 acres each. I know 2 other families feed her too.We took the responsibility of spaying her and vetting her..no one else wanted to do that but we didn't' want her to have litter upon litter of kittens. My husband will be home for a few weeks before the move and we are going to work again and trying to bring her inside.
Anyone have tips on that. That is really more of what I was asking I think..
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Post by pjaye on Jun 28, 2014 14:21:24 GMT
You can ask...doesn't mean anyone has to do what you say.
Once you put it out there, then you have no control over how people respond.
No way would I ever condone or PVM anyone treating an animal this badly.
You're right though...some things never change, like suddenly adding all this extra (probably untrue) information about what a fantastic pet owner you are.
You say your daughter found her 3 years ago? and you got her spayed TWO years ago?
How many litters of kittens did she have before that?
You had THREE years to do it already.
Another stupid comment...of course you can. I've done it and so have thousands of others...there was a thread on the old board not too long ago where quite a few people posted their success stories.
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painterchic
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Jun 26, 2014 0:41:22 GMT
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Post by painterchic on Jun 28, 2014 14:26:11 GMT
Pjaye..Im not arguing with you. You are just looking for a fight or to prove me some how an unfit pet owner in your mind.I really don't care which either. I usually value your opinion on things b/c you are normally pretty level headed. But you also make snap judgements about people and never bother to understand. I am not adding untrue information.
You have your mind made up. So thanks for all of your help. we didn't try to integrate her in the home b/.c she was an outside stray that roams the neighborhood. plain and simple. I don't know if she ever had kittens..she hasn't while stopping in around here. I also haven't heard any neighbors talk about having kittens anywhere on their property either.
We got her spayed that all there is to it.
We certainly don't treat her badly either.
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Post by petenthusiast on Jun 28, 2014 14:27:00 GMT
Well she is more of a stray b/c she is at everyone's house.I think she actually was set out here as no one in the neighborhood has outside females. There are a few tom cats running around. It is a very rural older neighborhood with lots of no less than 3 acres each. I know 2 other families feed her too.We took the responsibility of spaying her and vetting her..no one else wanted to do that but we didn't' want her to have litter upon litter of kittens. My husband will be home for a few weeks before the move and we are going to work again and trying to bring her inside. Anyone have tips on that. That is really more of what I was asking I think.. Everything you are asking is answered at Alley Cat Aliies, whether or not it is what you want to hear or do is another thing. Will your new home have a 2nd floor or a room or area that is away from the dog? One of our cats was an "outside cat" of a former neighbor...an obvious pet, but they left her out all the time. When they moved they let us take her and we immediately brought her inside. She "screamed" at the top of her lungs for a week straight, and then became the world's best lap cat and runs away from any door about to be opened. It is often a long process and patience is required...again peruse the site (even beyond the page posted) that specializes in this & you will find the info you needwww.alleycat.org/Page.aspx?pid=924#sectionCARE The Difference between Euthanasia and Killing Millions of cats die in U.S. animal control pounds and shelters every year. The pounds and shelters say these animals are “euthanized.” But they’re not—they are killed. An animal is only euthanized when she is terminally ill or untreatably injured.
Euthanasia n. Also called mercy killing. The act of putting to death painlessly or allowing to die, as by withholding extreme medical measures, a person or animal suffering from an incurable, especially a painful, disease or condition (Random House Dictionary). Genuine euthanasia is a medical decision and is always done in an individual animal’s best interest. It can be an important part of end-of-life care. But most animals who die in pounds and shelters are killed for very different reasons. Facilities kill animals to make room for new ones, to manage disease, or to compensate for inadequate staff or funding. Decisions to kill reflect the operating interests of facilities, not the best interests of animals. Using the word “euthanasia” masks what really happens to cats in pounds and shelters— they are killed. |
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Post by Zee on Jun 28, 2014 14:32:11 GMT
You say two other neighbors feed her also. Did you talk about it with them? If they're not willing to take on vet responsibility, I'd look for another home for her where she can be allowed outdoor access, such as at a farm, like you mentioned. I have 3 cats and one of them is just not happy being indoors 24/7, though we did our best to keep the ungrateful bastard that way. Constant yowling and fighting with the other two indoor kitties and pissing by the front door won him his outdoor ticket (yes, he was neutered and checked for uti). He's been just fine ever since, though he does come in at night to sleep and he shows up regularly at the back door to drop off dead rodents and eat his Fancy Feast. Lol.
I feel bad for your daughter but she probably knows Miss Kitty wouldn't be happy in your house all the time.
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painterchic
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Jun 26, 2014 0:41:22 GMT
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Post by painterchic on Jun 28, 2014 14:32:58 GMT
Thank you for those links. I am checking them out.
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Post by fruitysuet on Jun 28, 2014 14:33:30 GMT
I'm sorry that sounds like you had your heart in the right place and have helped look after the kitty within the bounds of how kitty wants to live. We are in the UK where it is common to have cats who aren't kept indoors. When our two long time cats died last summer we bought three more kitties. We have a large garden and are surrounded by fields. They love being out and about. They are all neutered, wormed, deflead, fed and watered with comfy beds and toys available in the house. They come and go as they please using the cat flaps. The two boys stay indoors quite often. The tortie girl we hardly ever see her and I know we have to move soon so it's something I have been thinking of. Not one of these three cats is a cuddle cat  so I couldn't see that anyone else would want to take them on. A conundrum and I wish I had something more concrete to offer. Asking the neighbours and new owner of your house to keep a look out for her would be good so even if you did take her and she didn't stay there may be an opportunity for her to stay in her own territory. ETA I am going to check out the link too. |
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Post by petenthusiast on Jun 28, 2014 14:33:33 GMT
Thank you for those links. I am checking them out. another (note "feral" is often used many places where not truly feral, because so many people already think feral is any cat outdoors, but it is not--but this is the proper protocol). Note there are very few places in the US where it is safe to be an "outdoor pet cat" |
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Post by mcscrapper on Jun 28, 2014 14:38:42 GMT
Aa your potential new neighbor, I beg you not to bring another outside cat to my neighborhood. I am so sick of cats using my flower beds as their personal litter box. If you cannot integrate your cat inside or find a suitable farm for your cat, please consider putting this cat down.
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painterchic
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Jun 26, 2014 0:41:22 GMT
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Post by painterchic on Jun 28, 2014 14:38:45 GMT
I wouldn't call her a feral cat at all. She is just a more or less barely tolerant of other living creatures, mildly people friendly stray. She is a really pretty calico cat. My dd loves her. She seems to be fond of her as well. I hope we can get her calm enough to bring in but I am also going to check with the couple of neighbors that feed her to see if any of them want to take responsibility of her if we can't take her.
ETA for PP..
I wouldn't take her to a neighborhood that didn't allow outside pets period. Of the homes we have found none allow that at all anyway.I also wouldn't put her down either. We will either try to bring her in or rehome her. I am not even really sure that I would trust a neighbor to vet her since no one really wanted to to begin with. Would they feed her ? Yes. They do now. I would much rather rehome her if we have too.
I did bring a stray in when I was younger. He was an inside cat for almost 10 years before he passed. But I didn't have an inside dog then either.
I like the idea of this situation being a total conundrum. It is.
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Post by I-95 on Jun 28, 2014 14:39:14 GMT
You could take her to a no-kill shelter. I can't imagine putting her in a carrier and transporting her 10 hours away, especially if she's not all that tame. I have 4 outdoor cats, one who only shows up every couple of weeks... he is, however my cat, and his mother was my cat, but he hates being inside. If he needs to go to the vet, I have to catch him because he will annihilate anyone else who tries to pick him up. We relocated this cat from a house we had 2 blocks away, and as soon as we let him out he took off, straight back to the other house. Now he spends 2 weeks over there and 2 weeks with us. I think if we took him far away from home, he'd just split and we'd never see him again. I suspect your half wild cat would do the same.
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Post by mamanay on Jun 28, 2014 14:40:30 GMT
I think I would pack her up with the house and take her with you. No neighborhood really allows outside pets (as in outside cats). Some may tolerate them, but none really allow them. Then at the new house, give her food, water, etc set up outside. And a breakaway collar with some tags and hope for the best. I wish you luck. I have a stray cat that has become mine. I made the mistake of feeding him. He's been mine for about 1 year now. And it has taken all of that time for him to finally trust us enough to let us pet him. It was a very slow process and I didn't rush him. Left it all up to him. He is now a mush and will roll over for me to pet. And come when I call, if he is around. But he is totally unpredictable, for no reason at all he will swipe and me or nip me. I think he belonged to someone and got left behind because he is semi people friendly, but very skittish, the tiniest thing sends him running. He knocks at my door and wants to sort of be an inside cat but after a wee bit he wants to go back out. And my 4 inside only cats -hate him!!! They are finally ALMOST ok with him hanging out by the door in that they now tolerate it without going ballistic at the door for the most part. He too disappears for days, only to show back up looking a little shabby. He will gladly eat kibble, but he also hunts and leaves me the guts to clean up. I would think your cat will be out of sorts for a wee bit, but gradually adjust to the new neighborhood. And maybe even become a wee bit more friendly, since it will all be unfamiliar turf? |
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Post by petenthusiast on Jun 28, 2014 14:43:26 GMT
Thank you for those links. I am checking them out. another (note "feral" is often used many places where not truly feral, because so many people already think feral is any cat outdoors, but it is not--but this is the proper protocol). Note there are very few places in the US where it is safe to be an "outdoor pet cat"--and I implore you to NOT put her outside AT THE NEW PLACE. That would be the most ignorant idea of all, aside from leaving her (a non feral cat) outside at all. |
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painterchic
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Jun 26, 2014 0:41:22 GMT
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Post by painterchic on Jun 28, 2014 14:46:53 GMT
Petenthusiast.We wouldn't leave her outside at the new home. There would be too large of a chance of her getting hit by a car. we are moving from rural to suburban. Also from just other tom cats to gators. I wouldn't take her and leave her outside.
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Post by M on Jun 28, 2014 14:52:25 GMT
I am guessing she is fixed, right?
I am one of those people who believes animals are kind of like children. You don't know how they will turn out, but they are yours and you take care of them. I would take her with. She and the dog will work out new boundaries.
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painterchic
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Jun 26, 2014 0:41:22 GMT
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Post by painterchic on Jun 28, 2014 14:57:34 GMT
You could take her to a no-kill shelter. I can't imagine putting her in a carrier and transporting her 10 hours away, especially if she's not all that tame. I have 4 outdoor cats, one who only shows up every couple of weeks... he is, however my cat, and his mother was my cat, but he hates being inside. If he needs to go to the vet, I have to catch him because he will annihilate anyone else who tries to pick him up. We relocated this cat from a house we had 2 blocks away, and as soon as we let him out he took off, straight back to the other house. Now he spends 2 weeks over there and 2 weeks with us. I think if we took him far away from home, he'd just split and we'd never see him again. I suspect your half wild cat would do the same. We have to have my dd catch her to take her to vet as well. She will once in a while jump up in my lap outside but if I move to pet her of shift my feet she off like lightening. I don't wan to go the shelter route if I don't have too. If we can't take her I would rather find her a new home. |
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 28, 2014 15:01:13 GMT
I've seen many outside cats become inside cats with changes of circumstances. It takes a while. It definitely takes more than a day or two. Hell, my inside cat took a full week not to imnediately hiss at my brother's cat that we were watching. At the end, the best I could say is that they didn't fight.
You need a room for the cat. It could be a laundry room or a bathroom or something to give the cat as his home. The dog is not allowed in there. Give the cat a week or two with humans going in and out to interact with him. Then move the cat to another room and let the dog go in and sniff around for a while, move the cat back in. Do this until the cat doesn't hiss immediately.
It doesn't always take only days to integrate a cat. It can take weeks or even months. Some cats never do better than tolerate the dog and the humans.
You don't have to do it before you move. You can continue it at your new place.
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painterchic
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Jun 26, 2014 0:41:22 GMT
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Post by painterchic on Jun 28, 2014 15:01:45 GMT
You say two other neighbors feed her also. Did you talk about it with them? If they're not willing to take on vet responsibility, I'd look for another home for her where she can be allowed outdoor access, such as at a farm, like you mentioned. I have 3 cats and one of them is just not happy being indoors 24/7, though we did our best to keep the ungrateful bastard that way. Constant yowling and fighting with the other two indoor kitties and pissing by the front door won him his outdoor ticket (yes, he was neutered and checked for uti). He's been just fine ever since, though he does come in at night to sleep and he shows up regularly at the back door to drop off dead rodents and eat his Fancy Feast. Lol. I feel bad for your daughter but she probably knows Miss Kitty wouldn't be happy in your house all the time. Yes 2 other neighbors feed her as well. She hardly ever eats or drinks much that we can tell. She pops in the car port occasionally. You can pet her but not really pick her up. I don't think she would be happy in the house either. She never tries to get in the house at all. |
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painterchic
Junior Member
Posts: 90
Jun 26, 2014 0:41:22 GMT
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Post by painterchic on Jun 28, 2014 15:05:47 GMT
I've seen many outside cats become inside cats with changes of circumstances. It takes a while. It definitely takes more than a day or two. Hell, my inside cat took a full week not to imnediately hiss at my brother's cat that we were watching. At the end, the best I could say is that they didn't fight. You need a room for the cat. It could be a laundry room or a bathroom or something to give the cat as his home. The dog is not allowed in there. Give the cat a week or two with humans going in and out to interact with him. Then move the cat to another room and let the dog go in and sniff around for a while, move the cat back in. Do this until the cat doesn't hiss immediately. It doesn't always take only days to integrate a cat. It can take weeks or even months. Some cats never do better than tolerate the dog and the humans. You don't have to do it before you move. You can continue it at your new place. Free Charlie do have any ideas on what to do with her while we move? My husband thought maybe board her for a week or so while we unpack and are coming and going so she won't have as many chances to get out. I like the idea of bringing her into one room. That would be the utility room for now b/c the dog isn't allowed in there as he a trash digger LOL She isn't really "wild" exactly ..just not real pleased with the prospect of being picked up. She doesn't exactly eat you alive but will scratch if you don't get her meaning from the growl. She adores my dd and rubs all over her though. |
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tagsie2000
Junior Member
Posts: 53
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Post by tagsie2000 on Jun 28, 2014 15:10:50 GMT
Have you asked the vet if they know anyone that might take her? I don't know really how it works in the States but the vets in the UK can often help with that. They may be able to offer advice on getting her used to the indoors as well.
Our cats have always been indoor/outdoor. We only have one at the moment -where she prefers to be depends on weather and how annoyed she is with the dog. I would not part with either of them ( we even had pet friendliness as a factor when buying our house) but ultimately you have to do what is best for your family, and you shouldn't feel guilty about that.
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 28, 2014 15:12:07 GMT
You said it is a 10 hour drive? Are you renting a truck and doing it all in one trip? I'd crate her in the room you will use.
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Post by petenthusiast on Jun 28, 2014 15:16:17 GMT
Boarding would be yet another trauma to add to the mix. There are all sorts of legitimate animal advocay sites of there with tips for moving pets. One room would be ideal...let her have her own space. If you think she could escape that and get out, a large dog crate with litter box, water, food, room to stretch in that room would be great until things are more settled. Example: www.amazon.com/Midwest-iCrate-Double-Door-Folding-Inches/dp/B000QFT1RC <-- once at link click on the 48" x 30" x 33" one Also be sure when moving you have a proper carrier & she that someone will always be in the vehicle with the a/c on at all times. There are water/food bowls that clip onto inside of carrier doors |
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so I couldn't see that anyone else would want to take them on. A conundrum and I wish I had something more concrete to offer. Asking the neighbours and new owner of your house to keep a look out for her would be good so even if you did take her and she didn't stay there may be an opportunity for her to stay in her own territory.
