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Post by fuji on Aug 21, 2016 23:56:49 GMT
I just became aware of a couple that doesn't want to be buried by each other. She wants to be buried in her hometown and he in his hometown, next to his parents. The sites are about 5 hours away from each other. It's his second marriage and her third (21 years).
It seems strange to me. I can't imagine not being buried by DH.
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580 
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Post by trollie on Aug 21, 2016 23:58:31 GMT
Ummm.... Since they will be deceased, I think they will not know/mind/care at that point...
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:13:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2016 23:59:49 GMT
Not really. They've probably got their reasons; so if they're happy with their plan, I don't see a reason to question it.
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Post by leftturnonly on Aug 22, 2016 0:00:26 GMT
I think it's more common than you realize.
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Post by KB on Aug 22, 2016 0:01:12 GMT
I've not given it too much thought, please forgive me if I sound rude.
Why does it matter where you are buried, you're dead?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:13:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2016 0:01:59 GMT
As far as we know the dead do not know where they are buried. If they have kids from previous marriages but no children from this union it might make sense to them to be buried with the other extended family so the kids can visit a family cemetery.
::: shrug ::: I don't find it all that odd.
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Post by workingclassdog on Aug 22, 2016 0:04:51 GMT
I always wanted to be buried in my grandmother's cemetery.. It's just so beautiful and in the country... The whole cemetery is basically my mom's side of the family. Probably 70% of people I am related to.. But I doubt it will ever happen. Even my mom doesn't care if she isn't buried there.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,238
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Aug 22, 2016 0:04:55 GMT
If they're happy with it, what do we care?
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,963
Location: North Idaho
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Post by Nink on Aug 22, 2016 0:06:04 GMT
Meh. DH and I won't be together. We want to be cremated and scattered in completely separate places.
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 22, 2016 0:07:40 GMT
If you're dead you won't know who you are buried with.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:13:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2016 0:08:58 GMT
I find it strange that people want to be buried.
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Post by fuji on Aug 22, 2016 0:08:59 GMT
Definitely doesn't matter, especially since they will be dead.
It does make sense on one hand, especially when thinking about where the rest of their family is buried.
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Post by lucyg on Aug 22, 2016 0:10:04 GMT
I own the plot next to my late DH's grave, but I don't plan to be buried there ... I'd rather be cremated and scattered somewhere (don't really care where ... I guess the kids could bury my ashes with dad, if they want).
Anyway, I don't find it weird. I think lots of couples aren't buried together.
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Post by mom on Aug 22, 2016 0:10:51 GMT
While I want to be buried with my husband, I can think of reasons someone wouldnt want to be. Not a biggie in my book.
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Post by elaine on Aug 22, 2016 0:13:25 GMT
I just became aware of a couple that doesn't want to be buried by each other. She wants to be buried in her hometown and he in his hometown, next to his parents. The sites are about 5 hours away from each other. It's his second marriage and her third (21 years). It seems strange to me. I can't imagine not being buried by DH. My mother wants to be buried next to my father who died 44 years ago rather than next to her current husband who she married 13 years ago. When my father died, unexpectedly, she bought two plots. We still go to visit his grave, and I'll visit them both there. It is also a Jewish cemetery and her new husband isn't Jewish, while she still is. |
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Post by Bitchy Rich on Aug 22, 2016 0:15:23 GMT
I think it's nuts that people have strong opinions on where they are buried. Two of my coworkers have already picked out and paid for their burial locations.
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Post by refugeepea on Aug 22, 2016 0:15:34 GMT
Some people want to be buried next to each other for religious purposes. In the LDS church, they believe in the second coming. Jesus will come to the earth and the dead will rise from their graves and be in a perfect state. It is why cremation is frowned upon, if it's not necessary (required in some countries). I don't know how it is in all cemeteries, but bodies are buried facing East as well.
Don't Jewish people not believe in cremation? I know there was something about the Catholic church. People can be cremated, but there remains must be buried?
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Post by cakediva on Aug 22, 2016 0:19:43 GMT
Had my mom remained married to her second husband, she wouldn't have been buried with him. We would have had her buried in the plot she already owns next to my dad. The second husband wanted to be cremated anyway, and as her children, my brother and I told her that we would have her put in the plot she already owns.
She's not with the second husband any more, so next to my dad it will be.
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Post by AussieMeg on Aug 22, 2016 0:19:51 GMT
I find it strange that people want to be buried. That was my first thought too. I guess from a convenience point of view it would make more sense to be buried together, or at least in the same cemetery, to make it easier for people to visit if they are people who visit their family members graves. But I'm not one to visit cemeteries anyway, so it's not something I would consider. A funny story: When my grandma died about 6 years ago she was buried in the same plot as my grandpa. My aunt turned to me and said "I bet that's the first time she's been on top!"   |
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 22, 2016 0:21:53 GMT
When DH wrote up our Wills, etc., a few years ago we talked about what we wanted done with our remains. It's funny that being buried together was never considered. If DH goes before his mother, I've agreed to honor her request that he be buried as near his dad as possible (not sure if MIL has already purchased plots, but it is quite likely she has). Otherwise we will both be cremated and scattered (not necessarily in the same place).
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Post by jenjie on Aug 22, 2016 0:34:03 GMT
I just became aware of a couple that doesn't want to be buried by each other. She wants to be buried in her hometown and he in his hometown, next to his parents. The sites are about 5 hours away from each other. It's his second marriage and her third (21 years). It seems strange to me. I can't imagine not being buried by DH. My mother wants to be buried next to my father who died 44 years ago rather than next to her current husband who she married 13 years ago. When my father died, unexpectedly, she bought two plots. We still go to visit his grave, and I'll visit them both there. It is also a Jewish cemetery and her new husband isn't Jewish, while she still is. I think what Elaine says makes sense. Especially from the POV that in the OP this is not a first marriage for either party. My own big question, one I have to deal with once the kids are back in school, is whether or not I want a joint headstone with dh. I own both plots (did I tell you his parents bought the plots right at our feet! LOL let's hear it for togetherness). But I don't know how I want to handle this. I'm leaning towards separate headstones. Although I'm not afraid to die, I'm not quite ready for my headstone to be ready for me. |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:13:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 22, 2016 0:35:56 GMT
I think it's nuts that people have strong opinions on where they are buried. Two of my coworkers have already picked out and paid for their burial locations. It can be an investment move. My parents bought 4 plots about 12 years ago (2 for them and my sister and I) the cost of plots in that cemetery has risen in the meantime. My kids won't have to figure out where to bury me unless they feel like moving me back is more expensive than burying me somewhere else. Save |
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Post by elaine on Aug 22, 2016 0:37:43 GMT
I also wanted to add that often in the marriage that involves having kids, stronger bonds are formed with that spouse's extended family. We spent countless hours with my dad's parents and his brother and his kids, even after he died.
My sister and I have spent little time with my mom's current husband's adult kids and his parents passed away years ago, before they married.
The family bonds are between my mom's family and my dad's family. It makes sense to me that she wants her resting place to be next to his.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Aug 22, 2016 0:39:17 GMT
I think it's nuts that people have strong opinions on where they are buried. Two of my coworkers have already picked out and paid for their burial locations. I don't think that latter part is nuts. Among other things, it means their survivors won't have to pay for it. |
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,704
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Aug 22, 2016 0:41:02 GMT
I think it's nuts that people have strong opinions on where they are buried. Two of my coworkers have already picked out and paid for their burial locations. I'm only 49 and my crypt space is already purchased and paid for. And my and DH's names and birth year are already sandblasted on the marble. These items increase in price and I don't have kids to figure it out when the time comes. My next step is to pre-plan at the mortuary. ETA : it's at the same cemetery where most of my family is buried or has pre-purchased. |
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Post by myshelly on Aug 22, 2016 0:42:55 GMT
Meh. Maybe it's like that bc they get a place in their family plot for free (family already paid for it).
Some people just don't care about that kind of thing.
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,963
Location: North Idaho
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Post by Nink on Aug 22, 2016 0:43:26 GMT
I think it's nuts that people have strong opinions on where they are buried. Two of my coworkers have already picked out and paid for their burial locations. I don't think that latter part is nuts. Among other things, it means their survivors won't have to pay for it. Exactly. My mom died when I was five and dad bought the plot next to hers. He remarried a couple years later and bought the plot on the other side of him for my current mom. My mom is in a memory care facility in Idaho. Several years ago, she picked out and paid for her casket and paid to have it transported back to Forest Lawn here in Ca. When her time comes, everything is already done and we don't have to guess what she wants. |
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Post by monklady123 on Aug 22, 2016 1:01:52 GMT
The only time I think it makes sense for spouses to be buried near each other is if it's a family thing that you "visit" people at their gravesite. Then the kids can come to one location. However, this is not a thing in my family. I suppose if my kids feel differently then after they cremate me they can bury the ashes somewhere. I'd rather they take the ashes to the beach, but since I'll be dead I won't know the difference. I just want it to be as inexpensive as possible because I don't want them spending money on death. I'd rather they take any money we've managed to save and travel with it or invest it or whatever.
So I guess that's my long-winded way of saying to each his/her own, and no I don't think it's odd that people might want to be buried somewhere else from their spouse.
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Post by melanell on Aug 22, 2016 1:02:53 GMT
No, not strange to me at all. It's actually fairly common and has been happening for a long time. I know of many couples who are buried in separate places.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 22, 2016 1:05:56 GMT
My MIL bought a third plot for my husband. Ha! We've lived here for 30 years, so I don't think that is going to happen, but I guess he will have to decide. I will be cremated, so I can blow about anywhere.
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