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Post by grammyj64 on Aug 6, 2014 13:21:48 GMT
My uncle died Saturday AM. He was one of 14 children, 11 of whom were boys (one of those was my dad). There is only one surviving member of the family now. "Unk" as I sometimes teasingly called him, was 87 years old and had been in declining health over the last several years. His death was a release for him and, in some ways, for his wife who has been dedicated to taking care of him, to the possible detriment of her own health. I drove 8 hours to get to the funeral, but was blessed by getting to visit with my brother and sister-in-law, who I don't see often, and with my cousins - MANY cousins - first, second, once-removed, and in-laws. My uncle's grandson flew 24 hours from Australia to be there.
The visitation was noisy, full of laughter as people saw others they had not seen in awhile. The day of the funeral, the ladies of his church prepared a wonderful meal for the family, who numbered about 60. We ate, laughed some more, and then about 24 of the cousins formed a choir and sang Unk's favorite songs. The preacher had been told we didn't need a lot of talking, so he kept his remarks short, and we sang some more.
I've always heard about how much fun the Irish have at their wakes for the dead, but I can't imagine anything being more fun than our celebration of Unk's life. We will miss him, but we gave him a great sendoff.
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sharlag
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Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Aug 6, 2014 13:23:41 GMT
Aw, I love the way you described this! It does sound like a terrific way to say goodbye.
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Post by Merge on Aug 6, 2014 13:26:01 GMT
Very much like my grandparents' funerals. Someone made the comment at the last one ... it's too bad it seems like the only time the whole family is together is for a funeral, but we sure do have fun!  Nothing wrong with celebrating a long life well-lived. |
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Post by seikashaven on Aug 6, 2014 13:26:45 GMT
Funerals are for the living. And I'm so glad that you got to send off your uncle surrounded by love and laughter. I hope it brought peace to a tough situation.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Aug 6, 2014 13:27:39 GMT
He must have touched a lot of people's lives in a positive way. What a gift that you all celebrated his life with such joy. Sorry for your loss.
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bomo
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Jun 26, 2014 15:54:49 GMT
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Post by bomo on Aug 6, 2014 13:29:30 GMT
I am sure he was looking down and smiling...probably singing along, as well. So sorry for your family's loss. |
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caro
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Post by caro on Aug 6, 2014 13:30:37 GMT
Funerals are for the living. And I'm so glad that you got to send off your uncle surrounded by love and laughter. I hope it brought peace to a tough situation. This is true. |
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akathy
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Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Aug 6, 2014 13:34:10 GMT
We've had some funerals in our family like that and I think it's a wonderful send off. Glad you got to go and spend some good time with your family.
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~Susan~
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Jul 6, 2014 17:25:32 GMT
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Post by ~Susan~ on Aug 6, 2014 13:38:02 GMT
Very much like my grandparents' funerals. Someone made the comment at the last one ... it's too bad it seems like the only time the whole family is together is for a funeral, but we sure do have fun! Nothing wrong with celebrating a long life well-lived. My family has lost several members over the past few years and we were saying the same thing. I have already told my DH and my girls that this is what I want when I pass. |
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peppermintpatty
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Post by peppermintpatty on Aug 6, 2014 13:56:05 GMT
I have told my dh that I want something similar. I told him I don't want people sobbing over my funeral. I also plan on being cremated. I don't need by body buried underground somewhere. Scatter my ashes in the ocean and plant a tree in my memory.
I think that was a very cool way to celebrate his life. That is what we should do, celebrate life not mourn death.
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Post by shamrock on Aug 6, 2014 14:12:29 GMT
That was a wonderful way to celebrate him!
Growing up I went to a few Irish and Italian Catholic funerals and wakes. The funeral was always a solemn religious event. But the wake the night before and the lunch/dinner/visit with the family after are times I remember with a smile! They were full of laughter, stories and visiting with seldom seen family & friends. My mom says the ones I went to were nothing like the ones she'd gone to for the previous generation. And the ones for our Irish Catholic Chicago family sound like they were the biggest (and sometimes quite wild) parties!
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Post by auntkelly on Aug 6, 2014 14:26:01 GMT
That is a very sweet story and reminds me of my grandmother's family. She was one of nine kids. They all lived to ripe old ages and their funerals were always more a celebration of a life well lived, rather than a solemn, sad event.
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Post by elinoah on Aug 6, 2014 14:55:52 GMT
I totally agree. One of my best friends passed from cancer and after the funeral was over her husband had rented two giant waterslides for all the kids to play in. Everyone had small children including her own. It was great fun seeing all the kids and a lot of the adults in their funeral wear going down the slide. It was such a tension and stress reliever and so awesome to bring our minds back to the kids and what we live for.
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Post by mikklynn on Aug 6, 2014 15:09:34 GMT
Beautiful. I felt that my FIL's funeral was a real celebration of his life. That's how it should be when someone lives a long and good life.
I'm sorry for your loss of your dear Unk.
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Post by jmurray on Aug 6, 2014 15:14:28 GMT
I think it's a bit easier to make a funeral a celebration of that person's life when they've lived to a good age. It's harder when the person dies young and/or in tragic circumstances, either as a child or a young parent with small kids. But coming from a mixed Scottish / English family I sure have been to a few funerals for the elderly members in the family, that sound just like the OP described, as well as more than a healthy dash of whiskey thrown into the mix!
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Post by meowgal on Aug 6, 2014 15:19:25 GMT
That is a great send off!
When my grandfather died, we had a similar funeral. He was a naval officer, so was buried in Arlington and since they lived up there, it was easy to tie in a big get-together. Over 25 years later, I still fondly remember sitting in my grandfather's home office with my brother and two boy cousins (I'm in that age group...the girl cousins are older) and toasting him and sharing memories of him.
I also remember my grandmother coming downstairs, looking at all of the family and saying, "Oh lordy, look at what our love made!" They were married just two months shy of 60 years. I slept beside her that night and rubbed her back..she was so sad.
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Post by alibama on Aug 6, 2014 15:19:38 GMT
My grandfather was a very popular gentleman. He was a janitor at the school, he was the bus driver, he was the towns water truck guy, he was leader of the 4H and active in his church. Not to mention that he was a foster dad to tons of kids (to many to count) the majority that came stayed with them until they went to college. When he passed away people came from far and wide and it was really a celebration of his life.
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scrappert
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Post by scrappert on Aug 6, 2014 15:46:00 GMT
What a great memory for you. Sounds like he was a great person.  |
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 20:31:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2014 15:50:15 GMT
sounds like a great way to say goodbye
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Post by ScrappyLin on Aug 6, 2014 17:40:07 GMT
The funerals that I have attended for my family have been just as you have described. The church service and cemetery are always quiet, religious events. However, the wake and parties before and after are always loud and great family gatherings. As sad as it is to say goodbye to a loved one, I would much rather celebrate their life and make memories like these. I am sorry for your loss but am glad that you had such a nice time with your family.
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Nothing wrong with celebrating a long life well-lived.
