Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:57:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2016 5:04:10 GMT
I'm sorry you are feeling adrift. I agree that maybe a visit with your Dr can help. I hope you find your direction soon.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428 
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Post by luvnlifelady on Sept 4, 2016 5:22:45 GMT
I have been experiencing that over the last year. DD went to college and I found myself floundering to fill the void. Now she's back but busy as is DS and we also have the divorce going on. Lots of decisions to be made and no mental energy to do it. I'm burned out but can't just curl up in a ball. I hope you find something that lights your fire soon.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,077
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Sept 4, 2016 14:00:50 GMT
DH and I have both been feeling like that for the past week or two as well. We've been wondering whether there's some virus going round, because neither of us are normally like that. OK I've had a few crappy things going on in my life recently and however cheerful I am, it always affects my DH too, but it doesn't even feel like that. It's an external blah. The end of summer maybe? Sun spots? Eclipses? Haha!  |
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Post by anonrefugee on Sept 4, 2016 14:11:56 GMT
I thought it was just my stage of life. I want to make changes but don't feel enough energy or enthusiasm to become fully motivated.
I have a new college student and one still in highschool.
A lot of my friends are on the same place, thinking of downsizing, even evaluating marriages and making changes.
Unlike other times, life is so busy it's hard to have enough left to focus on the issues.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,448
Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on Sept 4, 2016 15:35:22 GMT
Maybe a talk with your doctor is in order. It can't hurt. Otherwise, I would say it's okay if you don't want to do anything. I've had times when I've felt that. It's more of a mental exhaustion for me...tired of making choices, tired of responsibility. Do you have a friend to talk to, even just have lunch with? That small thing of going to lunch for a couple hours is often times all I need. I've had some pretty major life changes in the last year: divorce, moved to town, new boyfriend  , and trying to figure out how in the hell to fill the week when my kids aren't around. In the beginning I sat a lot. Barely watched tv, didn't want to do much. I was tired, mentally and physically exhausted from all the change. Slowly I've learned to start filling the time for me. I start volunteering this week, and am excited to do get out there! I can feel the change for the better finally setting in! |
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,949
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Post by scrapngranny on Sept 4, 2016 16:31:44 GMT
I think the key question is how long has this been going on? If it has been a reasonably short time, maybe this is the time to stand still and listen to your heart. If it has been going on for a length of time, a doctor appointment could help.
If you are trying to make too many major life decisions all at the same time, chances are you are simply overwhelmed. If you can break it down it might be easier to handle.
Best of luck in finding your next path.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,239
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Sept 5, 2016 13:18:57 GMT
You seem to be drifting. Hopefully, once you make a decision on where you want to live you'll start feeling much better and motivated to make it happen.
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Post by mymindseyedpea on Sept 5, 2016 13:54:47 GMT
DH and I have both been feeling like that for the past week or two as well. We've been wondering whether there's some virus going round, because neither of us are normally like that. OK I've had a few crappy things going on in my life recently and however cheerful I am, it always affects my DH too, but it doesn't even feel like that. It's an external blah. The end of summer maybe? Sun spots? Eclipses? Haha! Yes, the eclipses. There's big astrological significance to them. For those open to considering this, it's sort of like a detox where all the worn out experiences are rising to the surface. So, on the surface it may seem like everything feels almost numb or dull to do or experience, and Mercury is in retrograde. ( yes even in the astronomical experience it is ) The astrological idea of Mercury Retrogrades are a time to do all the 're'-stuff - revise, reminisce, redo, reset, reconsider, re-think, ...etc It's not a time that's supportive of starting anything new or signing any contracts. They may not go according to plan later on, is the belief. What I feel would help with this 'detox' is to try and focus for a moment on another way of experiencing time other than linearly. If you feel stuck in the past ( empty nest ) or are dreading the future ( "is tomorrow going to be like this to?" ) , that is a way of supporting linear time. Past, Depression, Future and Anxiety, are experiences that don't exist in the present. I don't mean the linear kind of presence,I mean the only moment that there is kind of presence. |
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,448
Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on Sept 5, 2016 14:04:50 GMT
I've also learned to realize that the social way lately is to be busy. So many people have to be doing something all the time. And doing it better than others. In trying to not fall into that, because it makes me tired. I'm a person who needs to be in my space, I need to be at home. I need to recharge, and if that means not leaving the house for a day, that's okay. I used to be made to feel guilty about that, and I'm not going to feel guilty for being me.
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Post by jenjie on Sept 5, 2016 14:18:09 GMT
It's kind of funny that you say first world problem. After reading your update, I'm wondering if having too many good choices is paralyzing you.
Reading your OP I was thinking maybe some depression or mental exhaustion.
If you have the luxury, take a step back and put the decisions on the back burner for a bit. See if that helps. You have poured so much into your dgd, it may feel foreign for you to be able to invest your time, energy, resources into yourself and your own future. Don't feel guilty about it.
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Post by anxiousmom on Sept 5, 2016 14:25:52 GMT
I thought it was just my stage of life. I want to make changes but don't feel enough energy or enthusiasm to become fully motivated. I have a new college student and one still in highschool. A lot of my friends are on the same place, thinking of downsizing, even evaluating marriages and making changes. Unlike other times, life is so busy it's hard to have enough left to focus on the issues. I am in the same boat. I even started a thread about it. I just sent off my youngest to college. For the first time in more than twenty two years, I am in a place where what I want/need is primary rather than the wants/needs of my children. I can do anything *I* want, and all that freedom and all those options are more than a bit overwhelming. I don't know if it would be different if I was married, but as a single mom, it was all on me. I didn't share the responsibility of the children when they were with me. It was all mom, all the time. And now, while still a mom, I am not responsible for the care of those kids. It is such a weird feeling. I am not sure it is so much a lack of direction as it is the overwhelming numbers of directions that are paralyzing. |
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Sept 5, 2016 14:29:52 GMT
I'm having this problem right now because I seem to have a lack of direction. Can't decide where to live, but need to figure out something soon. I can't figure out anything I want to do with my life...this week, this month, this year...or really ever in the future. Can't think of anything that would make me feel happy, so to speak. It's not that I am sad, but just have no direction if that makes sense. Can't decide if I am just exhausted, or if this is what clinically depressed feels like. I think I just want to do nothing. Like literally nothing. Except sleep someplace warm and soft and cuddly. And definitely not make any decisions. But obviously I can't just do that, but I don't know WHAT to do either. In the past, I could always decide a path forward based on what I wanted to do in the future, and then figure out what I needed to do to have that happen. Now I am just blah... or something. Even easy things. There is no food I want to eat. No book I want to read. No movie I want to see. No place I want to go. Ugh. Does this make any sense to anyone who has been there, done that, or something? Overwhelmed at everything, just wanted to nap a lot. Major insomnia. Depression. Been THERE. Done THAT. Talk to your doctor. See if he will Rx you --I resisted at first but it helped immensely--I gained ground on myself and was able to function. I'm med free now but for a few years it was a lifesaver! |
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Post by jenjie on Sept 5, 2016 19:33:21 GMT
Your choice sounds wonderful! I know what you mean about wondering what else you could be missing out on. That's quite a commute. I hope it will be worth it. But as you said, you can always make a change later. Have fun planning!
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,525
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Post by mlana on Sept 5, 2016 19:58:43 GMT
I'm having this problem right now because I seem to have a lack of direction. Can't decide where to live, but need to figure out something soon. I can't figure out anything I want to do with my life...this week, this month, this year...or really ever in the future. Can't think of anything that would make me feel happy, so to speak. It's not that I am sad, but just have no direction if that makes sense. Can't decide if I am just exhausted, or if this is what clinically depressed feels like. I think I just want to do nothing. Like literally nothing. Except sleep someplace warm and soft and cuddly. And definitely not make any decisions. But obviously I can't just do that, but I don't know WHAT to do either. In the past, I could always decide a path forward based on what I wanted to do in the future, and then figure out what I needed to do to have that happen. Now I am just blah... or something. Even easy things. There is no food I want to eat. No book I want to read. No movie I want to see. No place I want to go. Ugh. Does this make any sense to anyone who has been there, done that, or something? I am experiencing the same thing. There are good and bad things going on in my life and I need to make a plan to deal with them, but I have no interest in doing so. I know that if I get started now, I will have a lot more control over what goes on in my life over the next few years, but I'm having a hard time making the necessary decisions. Part of the problem is there are just too many choices available and part of the problem is a fear that I'll finally make a decision only to find out that option is no longer available. i don't feel depressed, just clueless. Marcy |
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Post by meridon on Sept 5, 2016 21:35:47 GMT
I've heard it said that when you can't do something for yourself, do something for someone else. Is there a cause you're passionate about you could volunteer for? A friend with a young child who could appreciate a night of babysitting? Someone who could use help with a project? For instance, I just helped our new deacon at church clean out the hoarded office she had inherited that had at least 7 years' worth of junk "stored" in it.
Can you make a small decision? Something unrelated to your major life changes but that would make you feel like you accomplished something...clean out a closet or the fridge? Organize the pantry? I just helped a friend rearrange her house and paint her living room. Her husband travels a lot for work and there was no way it was going to get done anytime soon waiting on his schedule to clear and so she felt stuck in making other decisions (new furniture, etc.) until she got pat that first hurdle. I know that's not the same as the kind of big stuff you're describing, but I feel like there's a snowball effect...I do one thing productive and somehow it clears the way for me to have the mental energy to do other things also.
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, and trying to figure out how in the hell to fill the week when my kids aren't around. In the beginning I sat a lot. Barely watched tv, didn't want to do much. I was tired, mentally and physically exhausted from all the change. Slowly I've learned to start filling the time for me. I start volunteering this week, and am excited to do get out there! I can feel the change for the better finally setting in! 
