Had a come to Jesus meeting with my son this am

You need to introduce "A" to Uber car service and stop doing so much for him. If he can figure out how to post on Twitter, he can figure out how to post to Uber. Let him (somewhat) fall thru the cracks and feel the consequences of his actions and inactions. It sounds like you keep rescuing him before he even realizes he's in over his head. Make life a little difficult and uncertain for him and he'll figure it out. Do not create (or prevent) a crisis: if he gets himself in, he'll have to get himself out. He doesn't appreciate all you do because he has no idea how it feels to do without. 

If there's no Uber, he'll have to learn how to call on a couple of local taxi services or figure out how mass transit operates in your area. No more MomTaxi, OK? Taxis and buses are just about everywhere with or without Uber service. And if all else fails, he's got feet, right?

If there's a bus system in my podunk Idaho town, I'd be willing to bet there's a bus system in Buffalo, NY.

Agreed.

If you want him to learn how to be grateful, let him see how much time and effort it takes to do all those things all by himself.

It is only after you know how hard it is to do everything that you feel grateful for help.

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This is so valuable. I'm going to save your words.

Your college years are when you're supposed to stumble a bit -- eat crappy ramen noodles every night for a week because you splurged your cash on something stupid (but awesome in your 20 year old mind), drive a car that's held together with crossed fingers and duct tape, run out of gas, and just do stupid, irresponsible things you'd never think to do in your 30's or 40's. Until you've stumbled, you don't know how resourceful you can be. You need to have those stories about your 1983 Dodge Omni with the red vinyl interior that used to stall going up hills when it was above 80 degrees. You need to be able to laugh and tell your kids about your crappy first apartment and the sweat and tears you put into your first house(s). You can't compile those memories and stories if someone is always rescuing you from life's little hiccups.

Let him stumble. Be there for the big stuff, but let him suffer a little bit. It builds character. And, if I were next to you in traffic, I would have given you a thumbs up and "Go, Mom!" Every now and then, you just need a mom meltdown to let the little shits know they've gone way, way too far.

The first thing I thought when I read the OP was "I feel sorry for future Mrs A". She will never be good enough because 'my mother did this/my mother did that'. Give your baby boy wings so he can fly. You are keeping him in the nest. I bet it's damn cozy there. I want to be in the nest.

I agree.. Even with issues you talk about, you're doing way too much for him. He will never be a functioning adult with that much care. Many many many people that age get nothing from their parents, so consider that. I'm not saying cut him off completely, but it sounds more like he's 12 than 22.

Your doing great! It's sometimes hard for us to hear what we need to. Your doing a good job of hearing it.

My brother and SIL went there~  Canisius is a great school. That's a long lecture depending on traffic!!  Oh and the Bills still SUCK...UGH!~