Belle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,309 
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Post by Belle on Aug 8, 2014 18:08:18 GMT
DS is 11 and will be in middle school (6th grade) this year. What are your rules for kids being home alone?
So far, here is what I have:
No friends allowed in the house while we are gone
DS cannot go out to play while we are gone
No answering the door - do you tell your kids not to even peek outside to see who it is?
Cannot use oven, blender, microwave etc.
What else should I add?
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,370
Location: Michigan
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Post by iluvpink on Aug 8, 2014 18:12:48 GMT
DD is fourteen.
Don't let anybody in/open the door, except for a few close family members and her BFF/mom. Because these people sometimes come and pick her up to take her to the movies etc and obviously we totally trust them.
No using the stove though at this point I would let her but she's not terribly interested. She usually just has cereal and/or a sandwich etc when we're at work, doesn't wake up until lunch time anyway often lol.
No taking a shower/bath
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 8, 2014 18:13:44 GMT
My daughter is 12 and in grade seven. The only thing I ask is that she doesn't answer the door. She does have friends over and they do play outside. She can use kitchen appliances. I don't think I'd add anything to your list.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 4:46:41 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 18:14:43 GMT
In addition to your rules: I say they don't need to answer the phone. And they can lock the door if it makes them feel more comfortable. I leave out lots of snacks and they know what they are welcome to eat. I do let them make tea, because they do it all the time when we're home and I don't think it's an issue. They can go to my mom's house if they want, but they need to leave a note (and/or text me, now that one has a cell phone). Computers, TV, movies, etc are all OK. I trust that they will behave.  |
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Post by marysue63 on Aug 8, 2014 18:15:39 GMT
My DD is 13. I insist that she keep her cell phone handy (we have no land line.) I let her go out and play (with the dog), and if she goes anywhere she has to call/text me to let me know. I also leave her a list of what chores she needs to get done.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,370
Location: Michigan
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Post by iluvpink on Aug 8, 2014 18:18:46 GMT
My DD is 13. I insist that she keep her cell phone handy (we have no land line.) I let her go out and play (with the dog), and if she goes anywhere she has to call/text me to let me know. I also leave her a list of what chores she needs to get done. I also leave a chore list (or text one later) and have the cell phone rule (we don't have a land line). DD is also allowed to go outside with the dog, but only in the back yard. |
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Country Ham
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Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Aug 8, 2014 18:23:18 GMT
I have a rule they can only answer the phone if my cell phone number shows on the caller ID. One day my husband was phoning the house over and over and of course they didn't answer it. He wasn't happy cause it was him but I was happy they did what they were told.
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Post by workingclassdog on Aug 8, 2014 18:24:23 GMT
Don't kill each other.  |
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Post by Merge on Aug 8, 2014 18:27:33 GMT
My daughter is 12 and in grade seven. The only thing I ask is that she doesn't answer the door. She does have friends over and they do play outside. She can use kitchen appliances. I don't think I'd add anything to your list. Pretty much the same. I do ask that if they're inside, they keep the door locked. I also tend to leave a chore list to keep them out of trouble. |
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tiffanytwisted
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you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Aug 8, 2014 18:28:40 GMT
Pretty much everything that was said here, but I was one who allowed use of the microwave & oven.
And once they had a girlfriend in their early teens, I didn't like them being alone in the house w/the girl. I know, I know, they can do whatever they're going to do anywhere else. I just didn't like feeling like I was giving them a hotel room key. Now that my older one is 18 & driving, obviously that rule is out the window.
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Post by melanell on Aug 8, 2014 18:30:16 GMT
DS is also 11 and has not been home alone yet. In the past he didn't ask to, but this summer he said he'd like to try. So I'm going to start by running to the little market 5 minutes up the road and go from there. So I appreciate this question & the responses.  I'll be taking the younger one with me, or else the "Don't kill each other" rule would be the top one! |
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 8, 2014 18:30:29 GMT
Have a cell phone and text/call if you are going anywhere. Only approved friends in the house, but they can play outside. My kids won't answer the door when I am home so I don't have to worry about that.
Older DS can use the oven, but he has to text when he turns it on and off (he forgot to turn it off once). Both kids can use the microwave and if they had interest, I'd let them use the stove.
On the door issue though, there is a new trend in which the criminals knock and ring the bell for a while. If no one answers, they assume no one is home and break in. This happened to my brother and he hadn't answered because he was downstairs. He scared them off when he came up and they had kicked out the bottom of his door.
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Post by bianca42 on Aug 8, 2014 18:36:06 GMT
On the door issue though, there is a new trend in which the criminals knock and ring the bell for a while. If no one answers, they assume no one is home and break in. This happened to my brother and he hadn't answered because he was downstairs. He scared them off when he came up and they had kicked out the bottom of his door. I was going to mention this too. I would change it to don't answer the door, but make noise so they know someone is home. |
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Post by Basket1lady on Aug 8, 2014 18:38:18 GMT
I used many of the rules above, and only left the kids alone for 15 minutes or so at first. As they proved themselves, I allowed more freedom.
If there are tasks that you supervise now, I would tell them not to do them and wait until you get home (like using the stove.) At first I said they were to stay at home and keep the doors locked. Now they come and go and walk the dog, but they are older now.
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Post by Merge on Aug 8, 2014 18:40:04 GMT
On the door issue though, there is a new trend in which the criminals knock and ring the bell for a while. If no one answers, they assume no one is home and break in. This happened to my brother and he hadn't answered because he was downstairs. He scared them off when he came up and they had kicked out the bottom of his door. I was going to mention this too. I would change it to don't answer the door, but make noise so they know someone is home. Dogs are good for that, too. Ours go apeshit when anyone even approaches the door. They're absolutely harmless, but from the sound you would think we had two ravenous man-eaters just waiting behind that closed door. LOL |
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 8, 2014 18:41:38 GMT
I never thought about the bath or shower. Probably because she's never alone at the times she'd normally bathe or shower, but I might have to mention it.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Aug 8, 2014 18:42:07 GMT
DD is fourteen. Don't let anybody in/open the door, except for a few close family members and her BFF/mom. Because these people sometimes come and pick her up to take her to the movies etc and obviously we totally trust them. No using the stove though at this point I would let her but she's not terribly interested. She usually just has cereal and/or a sandwich etc when we're at work, doesn't wake up until lunch time anyway often lol. No taking a shower/bath Why can't she take a bath or a shower? |
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
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Post by caro on Aug 8, 2014 18:53:10 GMT
I would allow the use of a microwave provided I know what is being cooked.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,370
Location: Michigan
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Post by iluvpink on Aug 8, 2014 19:01:36 GMT
Why can't she take a bath or a shower?
1) She's a type 1 diabetic and hot baths/showers can increase/speed up insulin absorption and cause low blood sugars. I have a kid who loves to both snack and give insulin often and take very long hot baths. Not comfortable with that when I'm not home.
2). She's just the most uncoordinated child ever, tripping and falling, running into walls. Seriously it's almost a daily happening. She used to fall out of her chair so often in kindergarten that I got a call about it. Anyway I fear she will trip and drown.
I've allowed her to take a short shower or two when she was going somewhere with a friend and needed to wash her hair. But she had to call me first, check her blood, take a juice box in the bathroom, make it super quick and call me after. Yes, I worry too much probably and eventually she will be showering in her own place alone but for now this is what I'm comfortable with. |
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Aug 8, 2014 19:01:51 GMT
Why can't she take a bath or a shower? I don't know iluvpink's reason, but it made me think - my daughter takes ungodly long baths. I try to work in our office (across the hall from her bathroom) while she's in there. If I don't hear water moving, or humming, or some kind of noise I am always worried she's fallen asleep. I won't let her have a bath pillow in there because I don't want her to get too comfortable! |
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 8, 2014 19:04:46 GMT
No drugs, no alcohol, no wild parties, no porn and no MMA fighting in the living room.
ETA: I am not trying to be flip. I was able to be home in the afternoons with the boys until the youngest was in 8th grade, so they were older and had a pretty good idea of what was what by then.)
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scorpeao
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Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Aug 8, 2014 19:11:46 GMT
On the door issue though, there is a new trend in which the criminals knock and ring the bell for a while. If no one answers, they assume no one is home and break in. This happened to my brother and he hadn't answered because he was downstairs. He scared them off when he came up and they had kicked out the bottom of his door. I was going to mention this too. I would change it to don't answer the door, but make noise so they know someone is home. This! Often, would be intruders knock first to make sure nobody is home. If you have your child make noise, but not answer, odds are they'll move on to the next house. |
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Post by Linda on Aug 8, 2014 19:49:04 GMT
I'm feeling very much like I'm an irresponsible parent right about now because I can't think of any rules we have when the children area home alone that don't also apply when we're home too.
Maybe it's because they are older or because we're rural but I just haven't felt the need for rules. We wait to leave them home alone until they are ready in our opinion and start with short outings (30 minutes) and then gradually increase the time.
Cathleen is 14 - I'll leave her home alone all day or with her sister for up to 2 hours IF we are local - if we're going out of town, Annabelle (7) comes with us if Simon isn't going to be home and we don't expect him home shortly (like if he's getting off work at 6, we might leave at 5-530 and be ok leaving the two girls alone until he gets home)
But at 12 - I would only have left Cathleen home for an hour or two and didn't leave Annabelle with her at all.
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Post by workingclassdog on Aug 8, 2014 20:08:38 GMT
I'm feeling very much like I'm an irresponsible parent right about now because I can't think of any rules we have when the children area home alone that don't also apply when we're home too. Maybe it's because they are older or because we're rural but I just haven't felt the need for rules. We wait to leave them home alone until they are ready in our opinion and start with short outings (30 minutes) and then gradually increase the time. Cathleen is 14 - I'll leave her home alone all day or with her sister for up to 2 hours IF we are local - if we're going out of town, Annabelle (7) comes with us if Simon isn't going to be home and we don't expect him home shortly (like if he's getting off work at 6, we might leave at 5-530 and be ok leaving the two girls alone until he gets home) But at 12 - I would only have left Cathleen home for an hour or two and didn't leave Annabelle with her at all. Linda don't feel bad.. I didn't have many rules either and they are both alive.. now from the obvious like not taking a shower because my kid is diabetic and that could be a life threatening thing.. I get that. But I guess I didn't 'make' rules.. other than the standard don't open the door and no friends over without approval. My kids now tell me all the horror stories.. mainly them trying to kill each other. Which I guess I did the same with my sister. It's amazing that my sister and I are still alive to talk about it.. |
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Post by ~Zoey~ on Aug 8, 2014 20:39:25 GMT
At 11 my son could use the microwave. Like others, he wasn't allowed to go out or have anyone over. He had a couple of simple chores to do, like sweeping or vacuuming - nothing that required any hard-core cleansers. We did have a codeword so if another adult came to the door, he knew that if they didn't have the codeword, he wasn't to answer the door. I didn't want him to think it was okay to answer the door just because it was an adult.
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Post by Linda on Aug 8, 2014 20:40:55 GMT
workingclassdog - thank you. I guess my working theory has been that if I'm going to leave them home alone, then that assumes that I trust them to be safe and responsible so I don't need a lot of rules. I'm not much of a rules-maker anyway And I guess I've been lucky enough to have children where that's worked out okay for me so far and we haven't had trust issues with our teens (knock on wood - I know it's still early days for [HASH]2 and [HASH]3 has years before she's a teen).
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Post by ~Zoey~ on Aug 8, 2014 20:51:51 GMT
I should add that at first my son didn't have the rule that no one could come over because I honestly didn't think to tell him. Until the day I came home to see a firetruck parked outside the building. He and his friend started a small fire on the balcony just to "see what it looked like." 
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Post by Linda on Aug 8, 2014 22:27:18 GMT
I should add that at first my son didn't have the rule that no one could come over because I honestly didn't think to tell him. Until the day I came home to see a firetruck parked outside the building. He and his friend started a small fire on the balcony just to "see what it looked like." yikes. My three all know fire safety from Scouts - and the older two have lots of practise at building fires, the little one is just learning. I think sometimes it's best to let them learn skills under supervision and then allow them to practise them rather than ban them because kids will be kids and experiment with stuff - especially forbidden stuff on the other hand - typically when I do need to make a rule, it's because they've done something that had never occur-ed to me would be an issue until it was. |
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