|
Post by BSnyder on Aug 9, 2014 0:55:41 GMT
Nature vs. nurture , the age old question. I think children can succeed or fail in spite of the their parents and upbringing. We all know of children whose parents have done everything "right" and go on to do nothing valuable with their life. On the flip side there are plenty of children that go on to do amazing things even through their childhood was terrible.
That being said, DH and I do everything we can to support our children in their talents, education, and experiences, cheering their successes and being there to provide perspective in their failures. Am I proud of them when they work hard and experience success? Absolutely, but I am also disappointed with them in their failures. Is that because I see their actions as my accomplishments? No, it's because I love them, but ultimately only they can decide who they are going to be, just like I decided what type of parent I would choose to be when they came into my life.
|
|
caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
|
Post by caro on Aug 9, 2014 1:02:10 GMT
My accomplishment is raising some good kids that went out into the world being self sufficient, contributing members of society. Their accomplishments are theirs which reaffirms that I did a good job of making them contributing members of society. That doesn't make me any less proud. [br This sums up my feelings.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:50:48 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 1:10:28 GMT
This is a spin-off of the obituary thread. Are your children your *accomplishments*? Are your children's accomplishments yours too, by extension? I don't feel like my children at my accomplishments, and nor are their accomplishments mine. I adore them, I love them, I think they are fantastic and wonderful. I've made the choice to stay home with them, because I think it's best for them, even though I don't think it's best for me. I am proud of them when they work hard and achieve something -- whether it is an academic award at school, or a drawing they did at home that they are happy with. But, those achievements aren't mine, they belong to my children. I don't think so, maybe because my two oldest have went the totally opposite of how they where raised. I might feel diffrent with my other two. So, no we raised our children with morals, expectations,compassion, caring and goals. What they chose to do with that is on them. All we can do is guide them and lay the groundwork.
|
|
|
Post by pierkiss on Aug 9, 2014 1:14:56 GMT
They are my accomplishments. I made them, I am raising them Things they achieve are theirs. Like making honor roll, having a part in the school play, mastering a sport, etc. Will I be proud of them? Of course! Will I claim their achievements as my own? Nope. Will I quietly praise myself for helping that kid achieve something great behind the scenes? Yep. .
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:50:48 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 1:24:19 GMT
I don't have kids, but I do have parents-- so: I don't know how my parents would answer this, but as their child, I DEFINITELY believe they helped mold me into the person I am today, and that I wouldn't be where I am today with any of my accomplishments, education, etc. without their encouragement, assistance, and the opportunities I had in life by virtue of being part of our family and being their child. No, my accomplishments themselves are not theirs, but they have played a part in what allowed me to do the accomplishing. What she said.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:50:48 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 1:35:46 GMT
Hmm, maybe it's in the wording--I don't necessarily feel that my children themselves and their successes are my accomplishments--but I do feel that I have accomplished and am accomplishing something in helping my children to become the people they are.
I agree that sometimes parents do their best, and a child still has major issues into adulthood, or a child turns out well despite problems in the home, but I tend to agree with the quote by Jackie Kennedy--"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much."
|
|
|
Post by scrappinmom3 on Aug 9, 2014 3:58:51 GMT
I watched the reality show about Asia (from Dance Moms) and she sure is, damnit. Lol
|
|
kimpea
Junior Member
Posts: 87
Jun 25, 2014 21:44:25 GMT
|
Post by kimpea on Aug 9, 2014 4:33:29 GMT
I heard a mother of grown children once say after someone complimented her on raising such accomplished children that she merely handed them the bricks, what they built with them was their own doing. I think that is a great way of looking at it. I can be a good example, teach them values, love and respect my kids, and give them every opportunity in the world but they own what happens from there. I can't imagine how miserable I'd make them (and myself) if I looked at every success and failure they have as my own.
|
|
theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,423
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
|
Post by theshyone on Aug 9, 2014 4:40:34 GMT
My accomplishments were my own : inspire of my parentage not because of it.
Because of that I give my children opportunities but their accomplishments are theirs
|
|