Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 22:23:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 16:21:45 GMT
Forgot to add that her "alrighty" at the beginning of her response definitely sounds a little passive aggressive.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Aug 12, 2014 0:06:55 GMT
It sounds like she could end up a bridezilla.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 12, 2014 1:25:54 GMT
I've never heard of being invited to the shower means being invited to the wedding. But that said, I don't like showers and really don't keep track. I kind of see both sides though I am leaning towards tacky. What's also tacky and horrifying is the thought of a lingerie shower. How incredibly revolting and gross. I have no idea how I'd deal with one of those. It's funny how different people are. A lingere shower is the only type I will go to bc it is usually the only kind that is fun. I don't see anything revolting or gross about it at all.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Aug 12, 2014 1:33:26 GMT
Different strokes I suppose. The last thing I want is my lingerie paraded and on display for all to see. I consider it much too intimate and personal to have a party for. That and my friends would be assholes and make things over the top raunchy. No thanks. Gross.
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Post by myshelly on Aug 12, 2014 1:36:40 GMT
Different strokes I suppose. The last thing I want is my lingerie paraded and on display for all to see. I consider it much too intimate and personal to have a party for. That and my friends would be assholes and make things over the top raunchy. No thanks. Gross. To me normal showers suck. Sitting around all prim and proper pretending to oooh and aaaah over stemware and silverware with the bride's grandma and mom and aunts. The lingere shower is the fun. It's usually only the young, fun friends. Yes, things get raunchy. Lingere and sex toys and alcohol. Wild. Best one I ever went to we all got drunk on Jell-O shots and went to a pole dancing class taught by a professional stripper. Then we had a sleepover in a hotel room and opened all the lingere and toys and exchanged spicy sex stories. That was fun. A regular shower is not fun.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Aug 12, 2014 1:50:02 GMT
Oh I hate regular showers as well. My god there is nothing more boring than those things. Gross. I'm just not a boozer, stripper kind of girl. There are better ways to spend my time with friends in my mind. And I
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Post by bc2ca on Aug 12, 2014 3:47:28 GMT
Only wedding guests would be invited to the shower in my circle. At work, we might have called it a shower but it wasn't individual gifts. Someone would send a card around & collect donations from anyone who wanted to participate. They'd buy a store or restaurant gift card and we treat the bride to a nice lunch. On a whole different level, my niece's friends have taken to asking their grandmothers to sponsor & host showers at restaurants. Not just the grandmother of the bride, but the grandmothers of all her friends and as "sponsors" they get to pay for everything Because, you know, no one wants to host at their house any more ?!
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Post by aleighl55 on Aug 12, 2014 5:22:41 GMT
Tacky and, I'm ashamed to say that my family invited relatives to my shower that were not invited to the wedding. We had a recption at the zoo and could only accommodate a small number of people. I already had the wedding guest list but our shower planners insisted we had to invite everyone to the shower so they wouldn't feel completely left out. I felt horrible and pleaded for them to rethink their list. I lost that one.
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Post by flanz on Aug 12, 2014 5:53:44 GMT
I haven't been invited to a bridal shower and not the wedding, but I have let hostesses know on some occasions that I would love to attend a shower for someone whose wedding I was not invited to. I love celebrating weddings (and babies) and in the case of kids I've watched grow up but am not close enough to to be invited to their weddings, I still love to acknowledge and honor their marriages with a gift. If I am not invited to a shower, I will still pass along a gift through a friend or mom.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Aug 12, 2014 6:58:18 GMT
I think that it is tacky in any circle to invite someone to a bridal shower but not the actual wedding. What cads. I hope you skipped the shower AND the gift in all cases.
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Post by camanddanismom on Aug 12, 2014 10:48:08 GMT
I find that to be incredibly rude! If you are close enough friends to be invited to the shower, the wedding should be a given.
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Post by missfrenchjessica on Aug 12, 2014 11:47:26 GMT
Among my social circles,typically the bride is given one big shower by her friends and family. The friends will often also throw a lingerie shower at a later date. If you're invited to the shower it means you're invited to the wedding. Lately we've been invited to a number of showers but not the wedding. Is this normal in your circles? If it makes a difference with your answer, the weddings are in the same community as the shower, no destination weddings. And the reason some of them have given, if it gets brought up, is that they can't afford to feed more people but still wanted to have these people at their showers. Anytime I've been invited to a wedding shower, I've been invited to the actual wedding. I'd be pretty annoyed and disappointed to be there to celebrate the bride before the wedding, but not be able to celebrate the couple on their big day. Ends up feeling like a gift-grab to me.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,314
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Aug 12, 2014 11:57:08 GMT
It doesn't bother me. Do people feel the same way about stag parties?
Sometimes there are other dynamics involved. Especially a community style shower where coworkers are included. Sometimes a person is close enough to coworkers the coworkers actually want to participate in a shower but are not close enough to the family or couple to want to be at the wedding.
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Post by formerpea on Aug 12, 2014 12:25:43 GMT
Unheard of and VERY rude. Would not be attending any & certainly not sending a wedding gift - after all she got enough at the showers
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Post by myshelly on Aug 12, 2014 14:31:43 GMT
It doesn't bother me. Do people feel the same way about stag parties? Sometimes there are other dynamics involved. Especially a community style shower where coworkers are included. Sometimes a person is close enough to coworkers the coworkers actually want to participate in a shower but are not close enough to the family or couple to want to be at the wedding. What is a stag party? Is it a bachelor party? If so, isn't the equivalent the bachelorette party, not the shower?
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Post by lesleyanne on Aug 12, 2014 14:42:11 GMT
What is a stag party? Is it a bachelor party? If so, isn't the equivalent the bachelorette party, not the shower? Around here, people have stags (for men) and stagettes (for women). Stagettes are a very boozey night out at the bars and dance clubs. Sometimes it will be a limo rental and nice dinner first but always ending up dancing and partying. Usually the younger, closest friends of a bride attend. A shower is often still held, as no presents are given at a stagette although the friends usually pay the bride's way at a stagette.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Aug 12, 2014 14:59:38 GMT
I think it's rude and any shower I plan I make it very, very clear only wedding guests will be invited if I host. For instance, my sister was only going to invite aunts and uncles to her wedding but thought the cousins would "want to at least come and wish her well" to the shower. I told her no, they wouldn't, they would still be smarting from being excluded from the wedding. So once she saw her new guest list for the shower she was a bit disappointed. This was in the early stages, long before either invites went out because I sat her down as soon as she told me how limited her guest list for the wedding would be and made that point. She is a smart girl. She ended up making drastic cuts that allowed her to invite the cousins.
For my wedding, a good family friend and fellow church member offered to my mom, to throw me a church shower, however, she did not throw it AT the church so it was not announced from the pulpit. We worked together on the guest list, with her making suggestions I hadn't thought of and I amended my wedding list accordingly. Everyone she suggested showed for both the shower and wedding.
My baby shower WAS thrown at the church, therefore announced from the pulpit and people showed (with gifts) that I had never met. I knew of them but it was a very large church. That was very shocking to me and I was never more thankful to the family friend for having the wisdom of using her own home for my bridal shower.
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