caro
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Refupea 1130
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Post by caro on Aug 11, 2014 17:55:55 GMT
I called to wish my BFF happy birthday and she told me this story. I told her I knew just who to ask WWTPS.
Here is the story :
It's a small family owned business. In the office is her DH who is owner , and two women. One women is older, been there a few years. Other women is newly hired and knows her stuff in this business My BFF is in the office usually everyday but off and on doing whatever it is she does.
New woman is a touchy feely type of person when she talks to a person, like always touching your arm or maybe a shoulder.. BUT, she seems to be doing this only to BFF's DH. She has also asked the DH to look over some personal papers for his opinion.
The DH doesn't like it and feels this woman might be a little flirty with him.
So , what do you think? The DH has asked my BFF to be in the office a little more mainly because business has picked up and he needs her help and also to just show the new woman BFF's presence is important to him
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Aug 11, 2014 18:07:21 GMT
I don't personally touch others or lean on others male or female while talking to them. I'm not sure if she is legit flirting but if he isn't ok with it then he needs to say something. He IS the boss/owner and it could look bad to other employees like the older woman you mentioned..then it could lead to office drama.
I'd be curious to know if the touchy woman stills does this when your friend is there.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Aug 11, 2014 18:16:46 GMT
At work, i am not a touchy feely person.
You keep that sh!t at home.
If I was the boss getting touched by the new chick, I would have already spoken up. It's gonna look real bad if she is trying to soften him up for something, then doesn't get her way and tries to bring down the business with a harassment suit, or the like.
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Post by padresfan619 on Aug 11, 2014 18:19:22 GMT
No.
He needs to nip this in the bud. Like yesterday.
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MaryC
Full Member
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Jun 25, 2014 21:52:55 GMT
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Post by MaryC on Aug 11, 2014 18:22:48 GMT
I am a tactile person with family and very close friends. It is inappropriate in a work situation and especially with a married man. He needs to say something to her about personal boundaries.
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sharlag
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I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
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Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Aug 11, 2014 18:24:42 GMT
No as a rule. Certainly not at work.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Aug 11, 2014 18:32:52 GMT
No as a rule. Certainly not at work. Beastly Member lol good job! |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 9, 2024 0:37:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 19:39:31 GMT
Mostly no, I am pretty cold. I give the person a hug and then we are good. I have one friend and we are touchy feely. We hug a lot and kiss 3 times (religious observation) and when I was at the hospital with DS she told me she would meet me there. Another time when my mom went driving to the mall and I told her what had happened she sped over and picked me up. When she had to go for medical testing (she didn't tell me about it) she needed me there and I wasn't and we have learned to be there for each other better. Also when she had to get said test results I made sure I was at her doctor with her because she was freaking out. I just sat there, played on my phone and read 2 peas probably. She told me the good news and that was that. In Islam the women look after each other a lot more I have found. My circle of friends is huge. They tend to swarm too i.e. you go to mosque for our women's group and someone they haven't seen for a month gets circled, hugs ensue and lots of laughter and expression. I have 5 BFFs and the oldest one here I hug but we aren't very close touchy feely wise. She is divorcing her husband and I don't really know why (other than it's "over"). She said she needed space. I gave her space. All is good with us though. We don't need to be affectionate to be affectionate with our words. We talk about what's important to each other and our lives and that's all the affection we need. I.e. I ask about DD2 and her dancing at XYZ dancing school and how many classes and which classes she is taking etc. She likes that and sees caring about her and her children as affection. We have been BFFs for 32 years so we are doing something right. Elannah |
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Post by leannec on Aug 11, 2014 19:59:07 GMT
No as a rule. Certainly not at work. Same here ... I have a wide personal space ... If your dh, or you, are uncomfortable with this woman's behaviour he needs to shut it down ASAP ... |
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Post by salem on Aug 11, 2014 20:16:49 GMT
I am not touchy feely at all. It bugs the crap out of me when people invade my personal space bubble.
That woman's behavior is inappropriate at work for sure.
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Post by anxiousmom on Aug 11, 2014 20:29:08 GMT
I am. Touchy-feely that is.
But I do limit it to perhaps only touching your arm if I feel like your attention is drifting. I should add though that the majority of my work has been one on one with clients who may need to be brought back to task.
I am also a bit of a stickler for hierarchy in the work place when it comes to supervisory positions. I would be very careful to keep the lines of propriety in place when it came to supervisors, and particularly male supervisors. There are some lines that shouldn't be crossed, there are too many grey areas that can be misinterpreted.
Only thing left to add though? Those of us who are huggers and touchers? If she is one who doesn't care about the boundaries, she is going to consistently be a hugger and toucher with everyone. If she isn't, then I would suggest that the husband politely request that she keep her hands to herself as it is making him and others uncomfortable.
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Post by scrappinmom3 on Aug 11, 2014 20:50:21 GMT
Yes, but not at work and not inappropriately.
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anniebygaslight
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Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Aug 11, 2014 21:09:08 GMT
Inappropriate in the workplace. She needs telling.
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Post by ChicagoKTS on Aug 11, 2014 21:16:41 GMT
No as a rule. Certainly not at work. Same for me. The DH/owner/employer needs to make it clear that it is inappropriate for anyone to be touching anyone else at work. |
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
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Post by caro on Aug 11, 2014 21:23:54 GMT
I told my BFF the Peas know everything !
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marianne
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Jun 25, 2014 21:08:26 GMT
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Post by marianne on Aug 11, 2014 21:26:15 GMT
No. He needs to nip this in the bud. Like yesterday.  for sure. |
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Post by maryland on Aug 11, 2014 21:31:25 GMT
That should not be going on in the workplace. There should be no double standard in such situations, women should not be touching men (and vice versa). I know some people like that (touchy type), but they would not do it to co-workers, only among close friends and family.
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eastcoastpea
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Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Aug 12, 2014 19:04:53 GMT
I hope he said no when she asked him to look over something personal.
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loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,662
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Post by loco coco on Aug 12, 2014 19:09:15 GMT
Yes I do, like in a joking situation I might tap you on the arm. I have NO idea why I do this! men or women it doesnt matter... its like its a natural reaction that I wish I would stop!
my husband says I talk with my hands a lot
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Post by houston249 on Aug 12, 2014 20:28:45 GMT
I noticed the word only, ONLY the dh and he is the owner to boot! This isn't about being touchy feelie. That is an excuse so she can continue with her game. If she was a truly touchy feelie person she would be touching everyone else.
If that was my business, unless she was essntial to maintaining the business, she would be gone as soon as the law would allow. There is no need for that kind of stress in ones life.
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Mary Kay Lady
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Aug 12, 2014 21:30:27 GMT
I am. But in a situation like what you've described, it's not OK. I think he needs to have a talk with her and tell her that he really needs to keep their relationship purely professional. He shouldn't be reading over her personal papers nor should she be touching him. Period.
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lesley
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Post by lesley on Aug 12, 2014 21:47:19 GMT
I agree with everyone else. If the DH doesn't like making a big thing out of it, he could say to her that she might not realise that she does this while she's talking to him, but that in his place of work, it is inappropriate.
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for sure.
