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Post by cakediva on Aug 11, 2014 21:32:08 GMT
One of my facebook friends tagged me in a "positivity chain" - normally I don't bother, but she said in her first day that we all often take for granted what we have and where we are in life, so I thought I'd do it. For 5 days, you post something positive, something you are thankful for.
Today was my first day. I posted that I am thankful for my family - hubby & kids. How proud I am of all of them and that they are my joy in life.
How nice - right?
Until I open my email just now, to one from my mother - raking me over the coals for not mentioning that I'm thankful for her as well. Does she need to remind me about "fancy that cake" (she gave me the funds to open my business), and how she feels taken for granted.
HOLY SHIT
I let loose a bit in my response. I told her it was day ONE of a five day thing, I had only just gotten started. That it had nothing to do with anything other than posting positive things for 5 days. Thanks for trashing today for me.
Holy crap. I'm so angry right now I could spit nails. I'm always grateful to my Mom for giving me my startup. She knows that. And any time I've had an anniversary of the business start, I mention it. I tend to side on the negative - I know this. I vent a lot, and I thought this was a nice way to be positive on Facebook for a change, the start of something nice. And then she has to go and trash it because it wasn't about her.
ACK
ETA - She just called. In tears, to apologize. She was having a bad day and needed some positive from her daughter. Her hubby is sick, they are dealing with his sick aunt, and blah blah blah. She didn't know it was a 5 day thing, it didn't say that.
So of course, I told her now if I say something it will not have meaning.
DH and my one DD are all "it isn't all about her" and that's what is driving me nuts!! It all seems to be about her lately. She wasn't this way growing up, but she sure has become all about her. Holy crap.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,092
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Aug 11, 2014 21:35:03 GMT
Your mother needs to grow up.
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Aug 11, 2014 21:36:00 GMT
You know, 10 years ago this problem didn't even exist. ITA, your mom needs to grow up.
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Post by playingcinderella on Aug 11, 2014 21:36:58 GMT
How unfortunate. Sounds like Mom might need to do 5 days of positivity too.
Michelle |
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,899 
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Post by tracylynn on Aug 11, 2014 21:37:50 GMT
Ugh! I'm sorry your mom did that!! Hugs!
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Post by JustKim on Aug 11, 2014 21:38:41 GMT
today I am thankful for my mother, she reminded me of it yesterday lol. My mom would do the same thing but on FB. Glad she is not there or I would not be
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Post by Lexica on Aug 11, 2014 21:39:12 GMT
Aw, that's not fair of her. And if you gush about her tomorrow, she will said you don't really mean it; that you are only saying it because she got hurt the day before. Just smile and keep moving forward. And maybe be grateful that she doesn't live with you?
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Post by heather on Aug 11, 2014 21:39:47 GMT
Ugh.
Can you change the settings so she doesn't see what you post unless you want her to?
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Post by shanni on Aug 11, 2014 21:40:45 GMT
Your mother needs to grow up. This. |
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Post by woodysbetty on Aug 11, 2014 21:43:46 GMT
Yikes!!!
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Post by Minnesota*Mom on Aug 11, 2014 21:45:52 GMT
Sorry your mom kind of ruined your 5 days of positivity.
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Post by I-95 on Aug 11, 2014 21:48:17 GMT
Ouch!
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Post by cakediva on Aug 11, 2014 21:49:35 GMT
Aw, that's not fair of her. And if you gush about her tomorrow, she will said you don't really mean it; that you are only saying it because she got hurt the day before. Just smile and keep moving forward. And maybe be grateful that she doesn't live with you? And that is just it. I had kind of planned to do an extended family post, but now if I do how can it mean anything? Sigh |
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,092
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Aug 11, 2014 21:58:17 GMT
Do it anyway. In the context of an extended family post, it will make sense. Your own family should have been first.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
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Post by mallie on Aug 11, 2014 21:59:34 GMT
I'd really be tempted to do my next positive post on those people in my life with patience and faith, who give me the benefit of the doubt when necessary rather than leaping to conclusions. But I'm a bitch like that.
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Post by papersilly on Aug 11, 2014 22:02:54 GMT
see, this is why I don't get caught up in those FB chain posts. I'm afraid of those kinds of email responses.
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Post by turangaleela on Aug 11, 2014 22:08:34 GMT
Wow, that was incredibly unkind of your mom to do that. And then she calls in tears and makes you feel bad, in a different way, all over again. UGH.
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Post by cakediva on Aug 11, 2014 22:10:54 GMT
Wow, that was incredibly unkind of your mom to do that. And then she calls in tears and makes you feel bad, in a different way, all over again. UGH. Exactly! How was I to know she was having a bad crappy day? Her own facebook post today was about having a lovely lunch with her cousin, something their Mom's never did. So silly me, I assumed she was having a nice day. So was I until she rained on my parade. And now I'm sitting here feeling like shit, because I seem to have made my mother cry.  |
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Post by heartcat on Aug 11, 2014 22:30:09 GMT
I'm sorry to read that this happened. I can understand why you would be angry and upset. Please don't feel badly or as though you have done anything wrong. because you haven't. If your mom is sad and upset that is not your fault or your doing.
You did something nice for your immediate family, and the motivation came from a good place. Don't let someone else take that away from you. You know that you are grateful for and appreciative of your mom's help with your business, and I am sure that deep down she knows it as well.
If you were planning to post something about extended family another day then I would still do so, and not let anyone else change or ruin that. Whether your mom then thinks you are sincere or just appeasing her, that is 'her' issue and you have no control over that.
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Nicole in TX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,951
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Post by Nicole in TX on Aug 11, 2014 22:30:38 GMT
Sorry your mom kind of ruined your 5 days of positivity. Maybe change it to 5 Days of Negativity? |
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Post by Scarlet Ohana on Aug 11, 2014 22:33:26 GMT
And THIS is why I'm so glad my mom isn't on Facebook.  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 22:31:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 22:46:04 GMT
My mother is the exact same way. I can totally relate. The only difference is that she'd make it public. And you're right, anything you say now will not have the same meaning.
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Post by donna on Aug 11, 2014 22:50:43 GMT
I am so sorry your Mom did that to you.
What is it with Moms changing like this as they age? I am noticing that my Mom is getting more negative as she ages. And she does not let go of things easily either. I love her, but it makes it hard to relish our daily talks.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
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Post by caro on Aug 11, 2014 22:56:32 GMT
Wow, that's bad, very bad. How old is your mom ?
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,255
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Aug 11, 2014 22:58:58 GMT
I'm sorry to read that this happened. I can understand why you would be angry and upset. Please don't feel badly or as though you have done anything wrong. because you haven't. If your mom is sad and upset that is not your fault or your doing. You did something nice for your immediate family, and the motivation came from a good place. Don't let someone else take that away from you. You know that you are grateful for and appreciative of your mom's help with your business, and I am sure that deep down she knows it as well. If you were planning to post something about extended family another day then I would still do so, and not let anyone else change or ruin that. Whether your mom then thinks you are sincere or just appeasing her, that is 'her' issue and you have no control over that. I'm quoting this instead of just "liking" it because I really think it's on point, and should be read again. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Aug 11, 2014 23:00:39 GMT
I'm sorry. That really sucks.
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Post by cakediva on Aug 11, 2014 23:06:12 GMT
Wow, that's bad, very bad. How old is your mom ? She just turned 70. She seems to be "all about me" lately, ever since she got remarried and moved away. DH and I seem to be closer to his family than my own. It makes me sad. |
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Post by 5peanutsnana on Aug 11, 2014 23:07:07 GMT
I am so sorry you have to deal with this. My mom cannot see my posts on FB. Sad but necessary.
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Post by cakediva on Aug 11, 2014 23:07:38 GMT
I'm sorry to read that this happened. I can understand why you would be angry and upset. Please don't feel badly or as though you have done anything wrong. because you haven't. If your mom is sad and upset that is not your fault or your doing. You did something nice for your immediate family, and the motivation came from a good place. Don't let someone else take that away from you. You know that you are grateful for and appreciative of your mom's help with your business, and I am sure that deep down she knows it as well. If you were planning to post something about extended family another day then I would still do so, and not let anyone else change or ruin that. Whether your mom then thinks you are sincere or just appeasing her, that is 'her' issue and you have no control over that. Thanks heartcat - I need to not let shit like this get to me, but here I sit, feeling like a weight is in my stomach. Drives me crazy. I need to let it go. Maybe a glass of wine will help with that...  |
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Post by heartcat on Aug 11, 2014 23:11:39 GMT
Kellie, if you like a dry red I just opened a nice Italian ripasso I could share ...  |
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Time to get off the internet!
