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Post by jemmls4 on Nov 30, 2016 22:39:58 GMT
My mom is in the hospital. She's an uncontrolled diabetic, smoker, has CHF, and a fib.
I live 100 miles away and my brother lives several states away. My house is unsuitable for her; stairs in and out and no bathroom or bedrooms on main floor. Not to mention one of us will be dead or in jail if we were in such close proximity for more than a few days.
She's been fiercely independent all her life; my dad died young and she raised my brother and me far from family all by herself. I know she needs assistive living but trying to get her to see that is going to be pretty much Mission Impossible. She refuses to talk about moving closer to one of us. She routinely ridicules where I live yet hates where she lives. My relocating here is not an option; I have a job and a family of my own to care for as well as serious health issues of my own (liver failure/possible transplant).
For all you peas that have gone through this, are there resources out there that I should look into? If I have to bring up a nursing home she probably will have stroke. Parenting your parent is hard.
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Post by NanaKate on Nov 30, 2016 22:48:34 GMT
Talk to the social workers/case management department at the hospital.
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Post by Zee on Nov 30, 2016 22:50:15 GMT
I second calling and asking to speak to the social worker to discuss options.
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Post by roberta on Nov 30, 2016 22:52:01 GMT
I have just been through this. It is quite difficult and stressful. There are a number of organizations that can give you guidance. Start with the discharge planning, social work and occupational therapy departments at the hospital. Also discuss it with her doctors and nurses. They should be able to help you. Some rehab in a nursing home and home care are covered by Medicare after a 10 day hospital visit.
Check with her church, community group and or friends to get more info.
I can make some recommendations if you live in the Baltimore, DC, Virginia area.
Otherwise Google eldercare and see what comes up.
There are lots of home care companies now.
Also eldercare attorneys, nursing groups that advise families etc.
HTH
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Montannie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,486 
Location: Big Sky Country
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Post by Montannie on Nov 30, 2016 23:58:30 GMT
Is there a council on aging locally? They can provide information.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Dec 1, 2016 0:12:47 GMT
If she is in the hospital, she is hopefully getting Occupational and Physical Therapy. They will be your best people for recommendations, along with the social worker. What she can do, what she can tolerate, and what she qualifies for. She will need a 3 day. NOT 10 day, qualifying hospital stay to qualify for Medicare coverage, and be IN patient status to qualify for a rehab stay. The SW will know all the different Assisted livings, and frankly where there are openings. It would be good for family to tour them and see how they are. She may just need some Home care, or personal care attendant cares. Again, your SW can tell you what she qualifies for. The most important thing is to probably get her to stop smoking!! If she has a rehab stay she can get stronger before she goes home, and often a rehab team can do a home eval to see how things can be changed in her home to help her out more.
Good luck!!
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pridemom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,843
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Post by pridemom on Dec 1, 2016 0:27:43 GMT
Look into senior housing with home health and in-home services. I wouldn't jump immediately into a nursing home or assisted living when she may be able to live on her own with some home and community based services. Look up your area agency on aging for assistance, or call the division of senior services.
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Dec 1, 2016 0:34:41 GMT
Also explore who has the Power of Attorney and Medical Power of Attorney for her.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,408
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Post by RosieKat on Dec 1, 2016 0:38:40 GMT
Talk to the social workers/case management department at the hospital. That was my thought as well, having just watched my family dealing with things like this with my grandmother. It seems that some of them are great and some are not - just like any job - but they might be able to help you break the news as well. If you have a situation where the doctor won't release her to go home alone, that might "help" convince her, since it's coming from the professionals, not you. I'm sorry. |
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Post by scrapsotime on Dec 1, 2016 0:40:07 GMT
Talk to the social workers/case management department at the hospital. Yes, this. My mother is 84. Every time she has been hospitalized in the last few years someone has come in to talk to her about her home life. A few times they would have not let her go home if no one was going to be there to care for her. We always had her covered so I don't know exactly what they would have done if no one would have been there. |
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