Grom Pea
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Post by Grom Pea on Dec 28, 2016 2:25:25 GMT
My ds will be turning 2 in February. Last year including ourselves I think there were 31-32 people that attended because some people were not able to make it. I found what I think would be the perfect venue, however they specifically state that the limit of guests is 30, it's at the local aquarium. They do parties geared for children 1-3, whereas our other option would likely be something like Chuck E Cheese, where I still think being 2 isn't the target age for. So my conundrum is would you just invite 30 people, even though often people can't attend? Would you invite everyone and just hope only 30 people can attend? Would you go to Chuck E Cheese? Thinking about it as a parent, I wouldn't mind not being invited because we are invited to so many parties, one less would not be a big deal, but I'm afraid if I only invite a "core group" of friends, some of the less close friends may be offended if someone asks them if they're going. Also DH's parents are often not in town, but may be this year, is it rude not to invite them to a kid party that's not at my home? We normally do celebrate with them separately, but they have come when it's been at our house. The other thing is, since it's at the aquarium, can they really block an extra 2 people coming to the aquarium? I know maybe they can't be in the party room but at last year's party most people weren't even in the party room, since the kids all wanted to be playing, that's why I said 31-32, 32 people came but one dad stayed in the arcade the whole time supervising his son and nephew, so maybe I'm worrying over nothing? I could just pay admission for a few extra people if it comes to it? Any opinions are welcome  |
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scrappinmama
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 28, 2016 2:38:21 GMT
I think you are over thinking it. Your son is only 2 and hasn't developed friendships yet. Invite 30 of your closest friends and family and have a good time.😃
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on Dec 28, 2016 2:39:21 GMT
I would just pay admission for the few extra if that happens.
We had little dd's 8 yr old party at science world. Included is 12 kids and 2 adults and you have to pay extra for the other kids / adults. We had 19 kids, which included the kids from school and cousins. I didn't want to tell aunts or uncles that they had to leave after dropping off so we had a couple of those who decided to stay. And then we had my parents and dh's parents who wanted to watch.
Dh and I decided that we were lucky to have so many people who wanted to celebrate with dd so we sucked it up and paid the extra.
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Post by mom on Dec 28, 2016 2:40:19 GMT
My ds will be turning 2 in February. Last year including ourselves I think there were 31-32 people that attended because some people were not able to make it. I found what I think would be the perfect venue, however they specifically state that the limit of guests is 30, it's at the local aquarium. They do parties geared for children 1-3, whereas our other option would likely be something like Chuck E Cheese, where I still think being 2 isn't the target age for. So my conundrum is would you just invite 30 people, even though often people can't attend? Would you invite everyone and just hope only 30 people can attend? Would you go to Chuck E Cheese? Thinking about it as a parent, I wouldn't mind not being invited because we are invited to so many parties, one less would not be a big deal, but I'm afraid if I only invite a "core group" of friends, some of the less close friends may be offended if someone asks them if they're going. Also DH's parents are often not in town, but may be this year, is it rude not to invite them to a kid party that's not at my home? We normally do celebrate with them separately, but they have come when it's been at our house. The other thing is, since it's at the aquarium, can they really block an extra 2 people coming to the aquarium? I know maybe they can't be in the party room but at last year's party most people weren't even in the party room, since the kids all wanted to be playing, that's why I said 31-32, 32 people came but one dad stayed in the arcade the whole time supervising his son and nephew, so maybe I'm worrying over nothing? I could just pay admission for a few extra people if it comes to it? Any opinions are welcome Forgive me for asking this - my kids are well into their teens so I havent dealt with 2 year old parties lately- but is that something to really worry about? Is going to a 2 years olds party that big of a deal? I honestly am not trying to be rude, but its a party. For a two year old. Not a wedding or some other huge event. |
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on Dec 28, 2016 2:41:10 GMT
Just want to add that you're at a stage when you might feel bad leaving some kids / friends / adults out. That won't last forever. Eventually parties get smaller and smaller.
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 28, 2016 2:41:44 GMT
Well, you said opinions are welcome, so I'm going to say I would not (did not) have a destination/event party for a 2 year old. At that age the guest list would have been limited to our closest friends with kids the same age, so 2-3 families for an afternoon at the park or our house.
If your venue is limited to 30 people I would not invite more than that. The guest limit is probably related to capacity for the room used at the Aquarium for whatever age appropriate show they put on and I wouldn't want to risk trying to squeeze 36 people into the space and putting the party host in the awkward position of telling you that the room is over capacity.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 28, 2016 2:47:24 GMT
I would think if the aquarium has a limit of 30 people it's probably due to the fire marshall's max capacity occupancy rules and they won't allow any more people than that even if you were willing to pay for them. If you can't cut the guest list down, I would say find another place for the party. Personally, I think that's a whole lot of people for a 2 year old's party.
My DD attended a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese last summer (kids were mostly age 5-6) and honestly I thought even at their age they were a little too young for that venue. The kids seemed to have fun for the most part, but most of the parents dropped and dashed and most of the kids were young enough that they still needed help with the games. I ended up staying with DD at the party because due to circumstances beyond my control we got to the party late so it didn't make sense for me to go anywhere only to have to turn around and go right back again.
Do you have a YMCA, community center, early childhood education or other type of similar place in your area? Our neighbors had a joint birthday party for their boys at a local community rec center (kids were 2 and 5 at the time) and it was a great solution. The place had a bounce house they set up for the party and the kids could play in that or with hula hoops and balls in the gym or on the little kid indoor playground equipment in an adjacent room. It was a perfect option for kids that age.
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Post by jamielynn on Dec 28, 2016 2:47:56 GMT
The 30 person limit is likely the fire code and with that; yes they'd hold to it in case the inspector came. I asked regarding the limit for a party and that's what was shared.
I would definitely invite grandparents.
I wouldn't worry about less close friends not being invited. If you think someone may mention it I'd just tell them unfortunately there was a limit so you couldn't invite everyone you would have liked and hope they don't mention it to others.
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Post by mom on Dec 28, 2016 2:49:36 GMT
Well, you said opinions are welcome, so I'm going to say I would not (did not) have a destination/event party for a 2 year old. At that age the guest list would have been limited to our closest friends with kids the same age, so 2-3 families for an afternoon at the park or our house. If your venue is limited to 30 people I would not invite more than that. The guest limit is probably related to capacity for the room used at the Aquarium for whatever age appropriate show they put on and I wouldn't wnat to risk trying to squeeze 36 people into the space and putting the party host in the awkward position of telling you that the room is over capacity. I completely agree with this. At two, the birthday child isn't going to care that there are 30 people there. And most likely, will end up overwhelmed and crying. Have a small party. Invite those select few who your child knows and loves and have a great party. |
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 28, 2016 2:51:57 GMT
We did home parties for my kids when they turned five. Other than that, birthdays were just family events. We went to many parties that were big events and that just wasn't us. I like to keep things as simple as possible and put the money we would have spent on the party towards their college. In your situation, I would invite just the 30 and not worry about it. Now if you are a party planning sort of girl, I'd do something at home that was personal.
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Post by utpea on Dec 28, 2016 2:52:18 GMT
Based on several parties I have been to at Chuck E. Cheese, my vote is for the aquarium. There are often many other children of various ages at Chuck E. Cheese during the parties & most of the games & entertainment are geared for older children.
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Post by jemmls4 on Dec 28, 2016 3:10:24 GMT
The rule I always went by is the age of the Birthday child is the number of kids to invite.
At two he's not going to care who is there, where he is, or what he gets. Take the advice you've gotten here. Save the "destination" birthdays for when they are older and would actually like going to the aquarium/bowling alley/Chuck E Cheese. You're only setting yourself up for anxiety about how to top yourself as the years go by
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Post by winogirl on Dec 28, 2016 3:12:22 GMT
Just my honest opinion, nothing personal and maybe your family situation is different if everyone has kids and they all celebrate every bday.
I went to a relative's baby shower, and the following year the child's 1st bday party. First bday is kind of a big deal so I didn't mind. But the next year another invite to 2nd bday. Ugh, is this going to be an every year thing? We made an excuse and didn't show for 2nd.
Dh and I never had a big ordeal made out of every bday, just immediate family, grandparents. Certain years are milestones and I had a bigger party with school friends invited.
I could be biased because I have no children and we are always giving gifts and never receiving, and maybe that's not the right attitude but the child in our family has more than enough and a big whoop party every year makes us groan.
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 28, 2016 3:23:03 GMT
At 2 I would have a home party. If you must have a destination party, which is more for you than a two year old, then you need to stick to the number given of 30 total including you, dh and child.
And yes, you need to invite the grandparents to not to would be very rude.
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leeny
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Post by leeny on Dec 28, 2016 3:24:28 GMT
Who is this party for? The 2 yo or the adults? How does this work, you get a party room for a time limit and then everyone goes out and wanders through the venue on their own? For that age group I am all up for family, close friends, ice cream and cake (bbq or something if it is nice out). That is still a bit young for such a production.
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Dec 28, 2016 3:55:58 GMT
We had a large party for the first year and grandparents over for the second birthday. We celebrated without a party for his third, but something he was really into... train ride. At 4, he had 3 preschool friends join him at a science place. That was almost too much excitement. Once he entered school we did invite a couple of friends for an experience. Those are my favorite! We did an indoor water park last year and that was really fun.
The smaller the better for younger children, imo. Most of my friends don't have kids my age so having people feel left out wasn't an issue for us. My son was also a horrible sleeper/napper so I never knew what he might be like at a party. LOL
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Post by SockMonkey on Dec 28, 2016 3:56:08 GMT
I'd way reign in the party situation now.
Aside from immediate family or extremely close friends, most people
aren't really going to feel slighted about not getting invited to a two-year old's party. Some will actually be grateful.
He's 2. He doesn't really have a grasp on who will be there, so this is more about you and if you want to have a fun party for adults, by all means have one, but it sounds like this is leaning into being a little over the top for a child.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:11:58 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2016 4:05:31 GMT
Invite the grandparents. Have a cake at home with mom/dad and grandparents. Buy a couple of mylar balloons for him to play with. Call it good.
The party isn't for the 2 year old. he has no concept of birthday and will have no memory of it in later life. Save the destination/production parties for the ages when it means something to the honoree and he will remember it.
I completely agree with the poster above that you are setting a bar to be topped every year. Keep it really low to none existent this year.
If you want to have an adult party, have an adult party at some place the adults will enjoy. Don't waste money on a party the 2 year old doesn't understand, particularly get pleasure from or will remember.
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ellen
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Post by ellen on Dec 28, 2016 4:21:20 GMT
I would scale the party down to immediate family and have it at my house.
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Post by workingclassdog on Dec 28, 2016 4:22:33 GMT
I just think damn that is a huge party for a 2 year old... but you only live once, but you'll look back one day and say WHY WHY WHY... hahahaha.. cause 2 year olds, 3 years old don't remember it.... Just messing around with ya.... |
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Post by mom on Dec 28, 2016 4:23:52 GMT
OK, I have been thinking about this (I have no life, lol). You asked for opinions, so here is mine:
To invite 30+ people to a 2 years olds party just feels like a gift grab.
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But if I were invited to my friends 2 year old party I would be thinking it was.
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inkedup
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Post by inkedup on Dec 28, 2016 4:29:45 GMT
Honestly, I think you are overthinking it. At this age, I am guessing the guests are more friends of yours than your child, plus family. I'd invite the core group and leave enough time to invite others if fewer than 30 people rsvp. I wouldn't be hurt one bit.. if I weren't invited.
Happy birthday to your son!
Also, I don't think large parties are gift grabs. But maybe this is because my family is huge, so all of my son's parties have had over 50 guests. We invite the people we want to celebrate with, without regard for the gift they will or won't bring.
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Post by anonrefugee on Dec 28, 2016 4:30:45 GMT
You've been an active Pea longer than me- surely you knew what to expect asking this question! I agree with many above- have an adult,we made it to TWO party. But your child will probably be just as happy with a balloon, a box and two buddies (if that). |
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Post by kristi on Dec 28, 2016 4:34:13 GMT
I think my son thought fish were cool at age 2.
I would definitely invite the grandparents & keep it to 30. If someone tells you they can't make it - then invite someone else.
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Post by ntsf on Dec 28, 2016 5:04:01 GMT
have ice cream and cake at home with grandparents or one or two close friends. take the money you saved and put into a college fund.
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 28, 2016 5:48:07 GMT
I do have to say, OP, that most of us are thinking about toning it down, but to be fair, your kid, your choice. You know what he can tolerate and who will be there to celebrate. Whatever you do, don't make it really difficult for yourself. Having at a venue will mean much less for you to do. Enjoy the day! And welcome to threeville.
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Post by Sassenach on Dec 28, 2016 6:03:51 GMT
What would I do?
I would not be doing this for a two year olds birthday. They won't remember any of it and it might be too overwhelming. When mine were little, we did backyard parties with family. I think they were six when we started having parties at venues, like bowling, petting zoos, zip-lining, etc...
If you are going to have a big party, I can't imagine not inviting the grandparents, unless there is personal issue and you just don't want them there. Not inviting the grandparents seems like a huge insult.
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Grom Pea
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Post by Grom Pea on Dec 28, 2016 6:34:00 GMT
Thank you everyone for the opinions, I don't really have the option of at home and it's likely to rain, since we have to pay to go somewhere, I figured it might as well be something fun for everyone like an aquarium, versus the arcade where we went last year. A little background, I have no family with children in the area but 3 families that went to lamaze class with us and we sort of consider our kids like "cousins" one of the moms said that about how we don't have a lot of real cousins but we try to get together monthly and considers our kids like her kids cousins. There are 3-5 more families that we've met through this group and almost all have invited us to birthdays. Each family is 3-4 people, plus us, so I wasn't planning on inviting any people without children. Basically I know as a 2 year old, he will not likely remember this party, but wanted to do something with our friends who are our surrogate family. There are two more families I'd invite that are very close friends of mine with children of similar age. So based on this feedback I will likely invite my friends who are only my friends to get together to do something with just us and then whittle the group of common friends down to 30. I know 30 sounds like a lot but 12 kids come with 12 parents and then there's 4 of us so that's already 28.
Thanks for the feedback about grandparents, last year we had the party while they were out of town at their timeshare and due to scheduling had dinner with them when they returned.
Finally I would personally not care if anyone brought presents at all, this is really more about having fun with our friends and yes I know that this party is more for me/husband to see our friends and let our kids play together. We did the same for my 4 year old when he turned two but his birthday is in spring and we had it at the botanical garden and there was no person limit, also at the time we did not know the 4 other families who have invited us to their parties.
I'll probably just do those closest to us and I think I can eek out 30 including grandparents. I just needed the validation that the other families won't care if they're not invited, as I originally was suspecting. Also I don't want it to seem like I think my 2 year old's party is some main event or anything, we just see all of these families a lot and I didn't want it to be awkward.
I know this probably all sounds insane but this isn't really extravagant for this area, and I won't feel a need to top it or anything, people here just don't have big houses or yards and we either do the park or a kids play place, since his birthday is in the one month it rains the most we need indoors. And since the play place is actually more expensive than the aquarium, it's actually not that bad.
I appreciate the candid feedback :-)
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Post by ntsf on Dec 28, 2016 6:40:17 GMT
have a great party then... what you describe sounds very fun.. and much more a purpose that makes sense
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Post by AussieMeg on Dec 28, 2016 9:00:52 GMT
I was about to tell you that you're waaaaay overdoing it for a 2yo party but then I looked at my photo album and realised that I had about that many people for my DD's 2nd birthday.   We had a party at home with a jumping castle and a paddling pool (it was a really hot day). If you had to cut the list to get down to 30 people, who would miss out? At my DD's 2nd birthday I had both sets of grandparents and a great grandma, as well as other family, 2 of my closest friends from school with kids the same age, 2 of DD's dad's friends with kids the same age and a couple of DD's friends from creche. I did not bother inviting other close friends who didn't have kids. |
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We had a party at home with a jumping castle and a paddling pool (it was a really hot day). 