My daughter's best friend just lost her baby to SIDS.

How very sad. Sending deepest sympathy to the family. x

Right now, there isn't much else you can do. The hard part comes after the funeral, when your daughter will be a HUGE help if she's willing to sit down and look through photos with her friend, and cry big, racking sobs right next to her.

You'd be surprised how many people won't, even when they're told that's what the grieving mother wants/needs. It's painfully hard. I know because my BFF had a stillborn son, and she loved to look at the photos they took of him in the hospital. I was kinda creeped out seeing photos of a dead infant, but I sat down next to her every time, put my arm around her shoulders and talked about what a beautiful boy he was.

When Christmas rolled around, I bought an ornament with her stillborn's name on it. She cried, of course, but said it was the first time during the holiday that someone even mentioned him. It was like everyone wanted to avoid bringing up something sad, and it left her feeling like no one would validate this loss. So keep track of milestones like that (a sympathy card on his birthday or baptism day, etc) and speak his name. They still hang that ornament on their tree every year, and it's been 22 Christmases now.

I'm so sorry your friends are going through this.

That is one of the most awful things that can happen. I am so sorry your friends are going through this.

Oh my. That is so, very sad and I'm so sorry.

This is such a sad time for all of you. Hugs to all.

Just be there and listen. You don't need to try to explain, pretend you have the answers or make anything better, because you can't.

My daughter lost a son 20 months ago. She will never be over it or forget him for one minute. She has a blog where she writes about her loss and emotions and healing and made a new entry today. It is long, but my favorite thing she said was:

" It has been important for me to not to pretend that I am something I am not. When you are grieving, you feel a million emotions at once and not one of them is “Fine.” My desire has been to communicate honestly so that when others suffer they know that I can relate and I am willing to love them through it. How can we help heal each other when concealing our suffering?"


findingjoyinhim.blogspot.com/2014/08/he-shot-his-arrows-deep-into-my-heart.html

How terribly sad. Some very good suggestions here, just keep being there for that poor grieving mom and dad. 

Oh how sad. So sorry for your daughters best friend and family.

I don't have any advise, but wanted to say I am so sorry.  How heartbreaking. 

I didn't want to open this thread and read. My grandson is 4 months old and I could not ever imagine the world without him now, my heart would be broken. My heart is breaking for your daughter's friend and her loss, it is an unimaginable pain.

Don't ever forget him, that is my advice.

Also if she wants to do something, maybe clean her house, do her laundry, pick up some groceries. All those things that you would not care about when you have suffered a loss like this.

Oh my...I am so sorry. I can't imagine what she is going through. My heart aches for that poor mother. Prayers and hugs for all of you.

I lost a nephew to SIDS when he was 3 months. I think your dd just being there for her friend, is a big help. Simple things like offering to help out around the house, or going with her to run errands might even help. It's heart breaking. I can't imagine what it is like to lose a child. I was only 17 when it happened, and I still remember how grief stricken my brother and sister-in-law were.

Oh, I'm so very sorry. May his Memory be Eternal