Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:35:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 13:49:04 GMT
Ok, say you've been seeing someone for around six months, you only see each other twice a week because of work. On one of your date nights every week his parents tag along, do you find this odd?
|
|
|
|
Post by gar on Jan 15, 2017 13:50:20 GMT
Yup!
|
|
|
|
Post by compeateropeator on Jan 15, 2017 13:56:52 GMT
Yes, unless it is a prearranged thing like...my parents and I go out to dinner every Thursday, would you like to join us? If it is just a random date on different days that they show up at, I do think that is kind of strange.
|
|
johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,687
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
|
Post by johnnysmom on Jan 15, 2017 13:59:00 GMT
Assuming they're not 13......uh, yeah! Very weird (unless, like a PP said, it was a standing date with the parents and the new flame is tagging along on that).
|
|
rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,185 
|
Post by rickmer on Jan 15, 2017 14:04:16 GMT
friends from high school got married and they took HIS parents with them on their honeymoon to scotland. i said "ian, i think you are doing it wrong". lol!
maybe his parents like to get out, he is super-busy so the only time he has free he wants to have a casual date but not make his parents miss out on their night out?
BUT i would expect some kinda of explanation as to why the parents attend date night with me, the lady friend.
|
|
eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
|
Post by eastcoastpea on Jan 15, 2017 14:06:41 GMT
Sounds unusual.
|
|
|
|
Post by anxiousmom on Jan 15, 2017 14:08:21 GMT
It may raise an eyebrow...
|
|
|
|
Post by ktdoesntscrap on Jan 15, 2017 14:08:26 GMT
That would seem odd to me
|
|
|
|
Post by beachhappy22 on Jan 15, 2017 14:12:17 GMT
yes
|
|
|
|
Post by KelleeM on Jan 15, 2017 14:13:43 GMT
Yup. A bit odd. Maybe it works for them but it wouldn't for me.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:35:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 14:20:44 GMT
maybe his parents like to get out, he is super-busy so the only time he has free he wants to have a casual date but not make his parents miss out on their night out? But why couldn't his parents go out on their own? The guy in question is 35 years old, he doesn't need chaperoning surely! |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:35:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 14:23:57 GMT
Is someone in the relationship bothered by this?
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:35:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 14:26:46 GMT
Is someone in the relationship bothered by this? Yes. Save |
|
|
|
Post by heather on Jan 15, 2017 14:28:09 GMT
I'd probably back out and tell him I didn't want to impose on his time with his parents.
|
|
|
|
Post by AN on Jan 15, 2017 14:30:54 GMT
It's always nice when you find something like this out through dating. If it bothers the person, it's like, "Thanks for letting me know what marriage will be like, I can just mosey right on."
I agree with the previous poster who said I would wonder if this was an established family dinner night the person was being invited to join in on, rather than the parents joining in on date night. I actually think it's kind of nice to get to know family that well, and obviously this is going to be a major part of life if they were to get married. BUT, if it isn't working for the person, they can either communicate about it or move along. Seeing if you can come to an understanding about this is an excellent way to see if you can navigate through mismatched expectations and tricky family land mines.
What other people think doesn't really matter, it is odd to me, but it is great information that will help him or her know if they want to proceed.
|
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Jan 15, 2017 14:33:08 GMT
Yes, it's odd to me, too.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:35:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 14:36:28 GMT
Oh, well in that case, she needs to speak up to him and/or break it off if the arrangement isn't working for her. Yes, odd that they do this, odd that she's let six months pass pretending this is acceptable when it's really not.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:35:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 14:39:17 GMT
Oh, well in that case, she needs to speak up to him and/or break it off if the arrangement isn't working for her. Yes, odd that they do this, odd that she's let six months pass pretending this is acceptable when it's really not. I think at first it was acceptable because she really likes this guy but his mother is a heavy drinker and the things she is saying and doing under the influence are becoming a problem. Save |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:35:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 14:39:42 GMT
6 months long relationship? Yeah, that's odd. I could see a long term relationship doing this after several years and it's a family dinner, not a date night. Once or twice wouldn't be odd. Every week for 6 months? That would strike me as odd, especially if it's one of only two times they see each other. I highly doubt this practice would change so unless the person who is bothered by it speaks up and say, no more or simply end the relationship, it will continue as the relationship gets more serious.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 21:35:41 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2017 14:43:27 GMT
Oh, well in that case, she needs to speak up to him and/or break it off if the arrangement isn't working for her. Yes, odd that they do this, odd that she's let six months pass pretending this is acceptable when it's really not. I think at first it was acceptable because she really likes this guy but his mother is a heavy drinker and the things she is saying and doing under the influence are becoming a problem. SaveThen time to break it off. It's only six months, and at twice a week, only 48 dates. Dating is to find out how you fit with a mate, and now she knows this isn't a good fit. Save |
|
used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,147
|
Post by used2scrap on Jan 15, 2017 15:02:07 GMT
I think it's odd she doesn't talk to the guy and let him know she'd prefer their dates to be parent free. And if he knows but continues to bring them along, I'd think it odd she's still going on these "dates".
|
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on Jan 15, 2017 15:19:35 GMT
If it's a standing dinner night with his parents that's a very nice thing for him to do - see his parents weekly.
However, if I were her, it would be time to have a talk about where this is going. Either he likes her enough to carve more than 1 night out of his schedule to see her or he doesn't ( because going to dinner with his parents is not a date ) and after 6 months if he can't carve any other time out to see her - then he's not interested in trying. And dating does not have to only be done at night. I mean he can surprise her with breakfast on the weekend, he can meet her for lunch. Grab a quick coffee before work whatever. If he is not looking to see her even for a 15 min coffee date then he isn't interested in trying.
Next on the list is why is she allowing herself to be uncomfortable with a drunk person and not comfortable enough to speak up about it. That is also a signal this is not the match for her. If there's one thing I've learned all these years of peaing is that you need to be yourself in a relationship or what's the point. What's the point of being in a relationship where you are not comfortable being yourself -standing up for yourself. Could have used the peas when I was 20 that's for sure
|
|
|
|
Post by cindyupnorth on Jan 15, 2017 16:17:38 GMT
What is the explanation the guy gave to his date for his parents coming with? Maybe they don't drive? or don't want them to drive after they have been drinking. You mentioned the mom drinks a lot, so probably can't drive, and maybe the dad can't drive either? has the date talked to the guy about it?
|
|
|
|
Post by utpea on Jan 15, 2017 16:48:28 GMT
Yes, sounds odd. It would be strange even if the guy was a teenager!
|
|
|
|
Post by JoP on Jan 15, 2017 17:01:32 GMT
Yes odd to me
|
|
NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
|
Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jan 15, 2017 17:02:56 GMT
Yes.
|
|
anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,412
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
|
Post by anniebygaslight on Jan 15, 2017 17:12:51 GMT
Yep. Run a mile.
|
|
|
|
Post by chaosisapony on Jan 15, 2017 17:20:05 GMT
At surface value yes this is odd and would have me running for the hills. But there could also be more to the story. Sounds like the person in question needs to speak to their date and ask "wtf are your parents always here?" and if they don't like the answer it's time to break up.
|
|
J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
|
Post by J u l e e on Jan 15, 2017 17:24:48 GMT
The person bothered needs to speak up now or forever hold her peace.
|
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Jan 15, 2017 17:26:55 GMT
Has the gf expressed that she would rather do something else? How did he respond? If she hasn't, why not?
It wouldn't be a good arrangement for me in the long term.
|
|
