linda
Shy Member
Posts: 29 
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Post by linda on Jan 23, 2017 3:48:34 GMT
I have not posted here in ages, but lurk occasionally. Thought I would ask the peas for opinions on a family issue.
My family:
Parents (in their 70s)
Sister #1, her husband and 3 kids
Sister #2, single with 2 year old dog
Me, husband and 2 kids
Issue:
Twice in the last 10 years my entire family has gone on a beach vacation together. Both times we stayed in a large house that was able to accommodate everyone. Sister #2 suggested another trip, this time bringing her dog along. Everyone was on board...until the holidays happened. Sister #2 brought her 80-pound dog home for the holidays (they live out of town). The dog, though friendly, is not well disciplined and is quite a handful. (Dog constantly begs for food, doesn't listen, jumps on people, chewing on kids toys, "bites" when he plays, etc.)
Now, Sister #1 and my parents do not want the dog coming on vacation. (I am neutral.) Sister #2 is hurt, heartbroken and may not come at all. I feel like it's wrong to go without her but can understand other family member's concern about the dog.
A little more info:
Sister #2 is the only person in our family to ever own a dog. We didn't have a dog growing up. Sister #2's life now revolves around the dog.
My parents have gererously offered to pay for the vacation house.
This is probably the last opportunity we will have for everyone to go together since the oldest of the kids will be in college year round.
Does anyone see a happy solution here?
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:58:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2017 3:52:05 GMT
The only happy ending is for the dog owning sis to realize her dog is undisciplined and leave it at a kennel or with someone else.
The choice is up to her.
My family has always had dogs, but they are well behaved. We wouldn't be very tolerant of a large dog that jumps, nips and begs.
eta: my dad would have no problem telling sis that after the experiences of the holidays the dog wasn't welcome to come on a trip he was financing.
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Post by epeanymous on Jan 23, 2017 3:54:23 GMT
Get adjacent condos. Everyone has a space to retreat to, but you are together.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jan 23, 2017 3:57:35 GMT
Good luck- the previous recommendation of separate condos may work - but in my experience people with undisciplined dogs have no clue how annoying they are to others.
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Loydene
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,639
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Post by Loydene on Jan 23, 2017 3:58:06 GMT
You might have a bit of an issue finding a place that permits a dog that size. Maybe that will be your "out"
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Post by librarylady on Jan 23, 2017 3:58:11 GMT
Get adjacent condos. Everyone has a space to retreat to, but you are together. This sounds like a reasonable compromise. She can have her dog--and yet others are not subjected to the things that create a problem. |
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Post by fuji on Jan 23, 2017 4:04:18 GMT
Option 1: No dog. It's up to Sis if she wants to come. Don't feel too sorry for her. She is making a choice.
Option 2: She stays in a separate accommodation with her dog.
We have a dog, and we go out of our way to make sure he does not annoy or inconvenience others on family vacations. We often board him if we know we will have to be on constant alert with him. Of course, he's a 15-lb Shih Tzu who can be held. An 80-lb dog is a totally different story. Your sis probably sees him as her "child" and feels you wouldn't ask her to leave her child home. I totally disagree, but I know that's how some people think.
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linda
Shy Member
Posts: 29
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Post by linda on Jan 23, 2017 4:11:17 GMT
Option 1: No dog. It's up to Sis if she wants to come. Don't feel too sorry for her. She is making a choice. Option 2: She stays in a separate accommodation with her dog. We have a dog, and we go out of our way to make sure he does not annoy or inconvenience others on family vacations. We often board him if we know we will have to be on constant alert with him. Of course, he's a 15-lb Shih Tzu who can be held. An 80-lb dog is a totally different story. Your sis probably sees him as her "child" and feels you wouldn't ask her to leave her child home. I totally disagree, but I know that's how some people think. I think she does see him as her "child" and that is why she is hurt. Thanks for your input. |
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linda
Shy Member
Posts: 29
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Post by linda on Jan 23, 2017 4:15:44 GMT
Thanks for the input everyone!
We have considered adjacent or nearby rentals but have not had much luck finding any.
I don't think anyone in our family would mind having the dog if he was well disciplined....
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 23, 2017 4:18:57 GMT
Thanks for the input everyone! We have considered adjacent or nearby rentals but have not had much luck finding any. I don't think anyone in our family would mind having the dog if he was well disciplined.... I assume vacation is a couple.months away. Why doesn't sister train the dog |
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pudgygroundhog
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Posts: 4,652
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Jan 23, 2017 4:19:52 GMT
The problem with adjacent rentals is if she brings the dog with her to the place everybody else is staying. It is no guarantee that the issue will go away.
Does your sister understand the dog behavior that is bothersome to others in your family? Is there any chance she will work on these behaviors in the time you have before vacation?
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 23, 2017 4:20:20 GMT
I would love to take my dogs on vacations, but I realize that isn't possible. She needs to hire someone to stay in her house to take care of her beast. Her dog should eventually grow out of some of the bad traits, but she really needs to train her pup so others want to be around him. Separate places to stay sounds perfect.
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Loydene
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,639
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Post by Loydene on Jan 23, 2017 4:23:33 GMT
Another thing that my sister has discovered - she loves her dogs and they are VERY well behaved -- beaches are prohibiting dogs on the beach. Local governments are creating new standards - particularly for visitors - that there are no pets on the beach.
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linda
Shy Member
Posts: 29
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Post by linda on Jan 23, 2017 4:27:41 GMT
My sister had the dog in training twice already. They are going again in March. (Is it common to go more than once?)
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linda
Shy Member
Posts: 29
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Post by linda on Jan 23, 2017 4:32:41 GMT
Another thing that my sister has discovered - she loves her dogs and they are VERY well behaved -- beaches are prohibiting dogs on the beach. Local governments are creating new standards - particularly for visitors - that there are no pets on the beach. I checked. Dogs are allowed before 9am and after 6pm. |
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AllieC
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Post by AllieC on Jan 23, 2017 4:50:47 GMT
I would be very surprised if most vacation rentals allowed pets at all let alone one of that size.
I don't think that the wishes of one person should override the comfort and enjoyment of everybody else. As posted above, people with undisciplined dogs seem to be clueless that their pets behaviour is not acceptable. I would say that she is welcome to come but the dog needs to stay with a sitter or they stay separately.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:58:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2017 5:42:14 GMT
My sister had the dog in training twice already. They are going again in March. (Is it common to go more than once?) Yes, but it is because dog training is really about training the people who handle the dog. If your sister isn't putting in the effort at home to practice and to be consistent at home then what is covered in class is pretty much useless. While separate accommodations may keep the dog/people mix from being a problem, who will be on the hook if the dog chews up the sofa or does other damages in the rental? Or spends the whole time barking because he is left behind while the people go to a local attraction/activity that a dog can't be taken to. |
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Post by LilyRose on Jan 23, 2017 6:07:38 GMT
I would be one of the folks voting to leave the dog at home if it's so undisciplined. As a compromise, though, could she board the dog in the town where you are vacationing, so that she could visit him? My fear, though, would be that he'd somehow wind up at your vacation home anyway.
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Peamac
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Post by Peamac on Jan 23, 2017 7:27:12 GMT
An undisciplined 80lb dog and 70yr old parents are not a good mix!
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kibblesandbits
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At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
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Post by kibblesandbits on Jan 23, 2017 10:50:56 GMT
I'm always amazed at the huge number of people that think their dogs are wanted/welcome everywhere. Doesn't matter the size. You're going on a vacation, why on earth would the DOG go?
We dealt with the same issue this summer - my sister and her family showed up to our lake home for a long weekend. Fun, right? They brought their giant dog - unannounced. Never, EVER again. I don't care how well disciplined the dog is. I don't care that he's part of the family. I don't want a huge shedding dog in my house.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jan 23, 2017 11:00:48 GMT
The only happy ending is for the dog owning sis to realize her dog is undisciplined and leave it at a kennel or with someone else. The choice is up to her. I completely agree. And I've got to say, I agree with your parents and sister #1. I would not want to vacation with an unruly dog. I would constantly be on guard, wondering what it would chew on and ruin next, and worrying if it would jump on one of my kids an accidentally hurt them. Your dog owning sister should be embarrassed that she is even causing such contention over a dog. |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:58:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2017 12:18:14 GMT
I would try to see if there were a kennel in the town you are visiting.
But I have to agree dogs don't generally belong on vacation.
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linda
Shy Member
Posts: 29
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Post by linda on Jan 23, 2017 15:09:47 GMT
I would be very surprised if most vacation rentals allowed pets at all let alone one of that size. I don't think that the wishes of one person should override the comfort and enjoyment of everybody else. As posted above, people with undisciplined dogs seem to be clueless that their pets behaviour is not acceptable. I would say that she is welcome to come but the dog needs to stay with a sitter or they stay separately. Yes, I think she is clueless about how her dog's behavior effects everyone else, which is why she is hurt. I think from her point of view we are excluding "her baby" from our family vacation. |
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Post by auntkelly on Jan 23, 2017 15:22:14 GMT
I love my dogs, but I would never take them on a family trip. I think your sister is being unreasonable. She needs to hire a good dog sitter or board her dog.
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Post by mikklynn on Jan 23, 2017 16:14:10 GMT
I'm always amazed at the huge number of people that think their dogs are wanted/welcome everywhere. Doesn't matter the size. You're going on a vacation, why on earth would the DOG go? We dealt with the same issue this summer - my sister and her family showed up to our lake home for a long weekend. Fun, right? They brought their giant dog - unannounced. Never, EVER again. I don't care how well disciplined the dog is. I don't care that he's part of the family. I don't want a huge shedding dog in my house. I completely agree.
I have a SIL that won't leave her dog home and it's awful. It's a mini-dachshund, but still annoying.
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bethany102399
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Post by bethany102399 on Jan 23, 2017 16:20:07 GMT
I'm with auntkelly , I love our dog too but no way would he be comfortable coming with us on vacation. At almost 90lbs and still a puppy, it's like living with a toddler who has a fondness for your underwear. I've actually started looking for places we can board him. Not everyone will take a dog that big, and you have to be sure they have the space to handle them. |
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Peamac
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Refupea # 418
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Post by Peamac on Jan 23, 2017 16:23:55 GMT
Do the owners of the vacation house know she wants to bring an 80lb two yo dog? An 8 pound dog is one thing, but I can't imagine they'd be okay with an 80lb dog!
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Post by krazykatlady on Jan 23, 2017 16:27:01 GMT
My sister had the dog in training twice already. They are going again in March. (Is it common to go more than once?) I'm thinking maybe your sister needs more training than the dog. She lives alone with him and probably lets the dog get away with a lot and this has created the "bad" dog. I don't blame your family for not wanting the dog to go on vacation. This wouldn't be fun for me at all. |
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
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Post by scrapaddie on Jan 23, 2017 16:27:58 GMT
My sister had the dog in training twice already. They are going again in March. (Is it common to go more than once?) I think she needs to research alternative training programs |
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Post by not2peased on Jan 23, 2017 16:41:23 GMT
your sister needs to leave her dog at home
she is being unreasonable to expect accommodation for her unruly pet.
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