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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Jan 23, 2017 16:43:14 GMT
I have a large dog, too. I found a local place to board him that doesn't keep him in a kennel the whole time. That was a big concern for me, because he is used to being able to run and play all day. The mom-and-pop place I use only kennels the dogs for meal time because so many dogs are territorial about their food. Gingersnap thinks he is in doggy heaven when he is there - he gets to run and jump and play with other big dogs (little dogs are kept in a separate area) all day long. He is also getting much needed socialization to learn how to act from his peers.
The thing about dog training is that you have to keep it up. It is really about teaching the owners how to train the dog. There are multiple levels of classes most places, so they could be repeating the basics course or returning for a different level. Since she didn't do enough follow through in the first class, it wouldn't be a bad idea for her to get someone who would work one-on-one with them.
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Post by freecharlie on Feb 19, 2017 22:33:11 GMT
I have not posted here in ages, but lurk occasionally. Thought I would ask the peas for opinions on a family issue. My family: Parents (in their 70s) Sister #1, her husband and 3 kids Sister #2, single with 2 year old dog Me, husband and 2 kids Issue: Twice in the last 10 years my entire family has gone on a beach vacation together. Both times we stayed in a large house that was able to accommodate everyone. Sister #2 suggested another trip, this time bringing her dog along. Everyone was on board...until the holidays happened. Sister #2 brought her 80-pound dog home for the holidays (they live out of town). The dog, though friendly, is not well disciplined and is quite a handful. (Dog constantly begs for food, doesn't listen, jumps on people, chewing on kids toys, "bites" when he plays, etc.) Now, Sister #1 and my parents do not want the dog coming on vacation. (I am neutral.) Sister #2 is hurt, heartbroken and may not come at all. I feel like it's wrong to go without her but can understand other family member's concern about the dog. A little more info: Sister #2 is the only person in our family to ever own a dog. We didn't have a dog growing up. Sister #2's life now revolves around the dog. My parents have gererously offered to pay for the vacation house. This is probably the last opportunity we will have for everyone to go together since the oldest of the kids will be in college year round. Does anyone see a happy solution here? Did this ever get resolved? |
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Post by chaosisapony on Feb 19, 2017 22:44:29 GMT
I'm always amazed at the huge number of people that think their dogs are wanted/welcome everywhere. Doesn't matter the size. You're going on a vacation, why on earth would the DOG go? Me too. Lately in my neighborhood it's becoming commonplace to take your dogs to visit when you go to someone else's house. Whatever happened to leaving your dog at home in it's yard or in the house? Why must dogs go EVERYWHERE now? And why am I seen as being a bad person for not wanting them in my home? With regard to the original post I would tell the sister that the dog is welcome provided it is trained before the trip. An 80lb untrained dog would not make for a fun house guest especially when there are people in their 70s involved. A polite, well trained dog could enhance the trip though. |
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Post by Lexica on Feb 19, 2017 22:55:57 GMT
An undisciplined 80lb dog and 70yr old parents are not a good mix! I agree with you. One jump on either of your parents and they could be seriously injured. An 80 pound dog should not be jumping up on anyone. I don't even let my little dog jump on people and he's only 10 pounds. It's the principal of it. SaveSave |
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styxgirl
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Jun 27, 2014 4:51:44 GMT
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Post by styxgirl on Feb 19, 2017 23:03:43 GMT
Option 1: No dog. It's up to Sis if she wants to come. Don't feel too sorry for her. She is making a choice. Option 2: She stays in a separate accommodation with her dog. We have a dog, and we go out of our way to make sure he does not annoy or inconvenience others on family vacations. We often board him if we know we will have to be on constant alert with him. Of course, he's a 15-lb Shih Tzu who can be held. An 80-lb dog is a totally different story. Your sis probably sees him as her "child" and feels you wouldn't ask her to leave her child home. I totally disagree, but I know that's how some people think. Exactly this! |
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Post by mrssmith on Feb 19, 2017 23:08:51 GMT
Did anyone tell her directly WHY they don't want the dog? I definitely would not want an 80lb poorly trained dog on vacation.
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by mlana on Feb 19, 2017 23:10:16 GMT
I would be very surprised if most vacation rentals allowed pets at all let alone one of that size. I don't think that the wishes of one person should override the comfort and enjoyment of everybody else. As posted above, people with undisciplined dogs seem to be clueless that their pets behaviour is not acceptable. I would say that she is welcome to come but the dog needs to stay with a sitter or they stay separately. Yes, I think she is clueless about how her dog's behavior effects everyone else, which is why she is hurt. I think from her point of view we are excluding "her baby" from our family vacation. Our Shih-Tzu went everywhere with us and, if he couldn't go and we couldn't arrange for someone to watch him 24/7, we didn't go. He suffered from extreme separation anxiety and would hurt himself if left alone, even if he was crated. My family was gracious in the extreme towards him and often kept him when we travelled. I'm convinced Sumo thought HE was the one going on vacation when he got to go visit the Grands. He was very well behaved until his arthritis got bad when he was older and then he would growl at kids who came at him too fast; once that started happening, we no longer left him with anyone who might have young visitors. I made it a point to ask, in private, if Sumo was welcome when we were invited somewhere. Most of my friends made him welcome, but, if the situation wasn't right, he either went to doggy daycare or we stayed home. I think my friends realized that my feelings weren't hurt as long as they were honest with me when I asked. That being said, I think I understand how your sister feels. She probably thinks that she has put up with her nieces and nephews when they weren't at their best and now you're excluding her baby because he's not perfect. You might consider checking around the vacation town to see if anyone there does doggy daycare. This would allow her to leave her baby somewhere safe during the day while all of y'all do your thing. It will also allow him to run off some of his energy so he won't be as hyper. If he isn't crate trained, I'd talk to her about focusing on that between now and the vacation. You might equate it with putting a child down for a nap or in a playpen. If he goes to doggy daycare, he might very well be ready for a nap when he comes home. Having his own space may also help with some of his chewing issues. Just make sure that your kids know NOT to crawl into his crate or take his toys. Also, if your kids aren't used to dogs, you might work with them on how to approach and play with pups. My mom taught my niece and nephew that, even though Sumo was small like a puppy, he was not a puppy. He was a 'gentleman' dog and needed to be treated as though he was an older man. It amazed me how they responded to this concept. They didn't run at him or try to pick him up or shove stuff in his face; they were surprisingly calm around him and he, in turn, would lay where they could very carefully pet him. I know a lot of Peas are going to roll their eyes at my suggestions, but we dog lovers tend to take how our fur babies are treated personally. You would have been hurt if your sister or parents told you your wild child wasn't welcome somewhere and your sister feels the same way. If you recognize and acknowledge how she feels about her fur baby, she'll respond better to any suggestions you make. Marcy |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:58:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2017 23:13:37 GMT
People with dogs who are unable to behave are typically the last ones to recognize that fact.
I'm not at all a fan of "group vacations", but in this case, there's no way I'd pay any money or encourage anyone else to pay money for a vacation with a large dog that is unable to behave.
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Post by anonrefugee on Feb 20, 2017 1:04:50 GMT
Good luck- the previous recommendation of separate condos may work - but in my experience people with undisciplined dogs have no clue how annoying they are to others. This, especially when it's their baby. It wouldn't fly if this was my family, I can hear my Dad calmly shutting this down!  On the other hand, I remember being the childless aunt for a number of years, a decade actually. I don't think it would behoove anyone to start labeling or comparing the poor behavior of the "youngsters", dog or otherwise! I hope you can convince her to use a separate condo, or find a doggie daycare at the beach. |
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Post by annabella on Feb 20, 2017 4:02:37 GMT
Another thing that my sister has discovered - she loves her dogs and they are VERY well behaved -- beaches are prohibiting dogs on the beach. Local governments are creating new standards - particularly for visitors - that there are no pets on the beach. This is a fair point, will the dog stay in the house or sit on the sand all day long? He could get very distracted. You can talk to her about the dog's discipline issues. But honestly it sounds like she's the 3rd wheel to your family's vacation. Everyone is coming with a spouse and kids, then there's her - alone. I think that's the real issue here whether or not she says it. And maybe she really doesn't want to go. The dog has by default become her companion in your family's group setting since you have your kids. Maybe you could consider a sisters weekend together. My friend has a lab and is going on vacation for 3 weeks. It was cheaper for her mom to fly in and stay in her apt and watch the dog then to hire someone to watch the dog. So that may be a consideration why she doesn't want to board him as well. |
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Post by hop2 on Feb 20, 2017 11:44:37 GMT
Send dog to boot camp immediately then it will be disciplined on the trip. My cousins son rescued a 110lb mixed breed dog and it was a handful. My cousin sent it to 'boot camp' with a trainer for 2 weeks and it's so well behaved when he came home. I'm pretty sure it was a fix my dog boot camp you can google one near your sister
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Feb 20, 2017 13:34:13 GMT
Option 1: No dog. It's up to Sis if she wants to come. Don't feel too sorry for her. She is making a choice. Option 2: She stays in a separate accommodation with her dog. We have a dog, and we go out of our way to make sure he does not annoy or inconvenience others on family vacations. We often board him if we know we will have to be on constant alert with him. Of course, he's a 15-lb Shih Tzu who can be held. An 80-lb dog is a totally different story. Your sis probably sees him as her "child" and feels you wouldn't ask her to leave her child home. I totally disagree, but I know that's how some people think. I think she does see him as her "child" and that is why she is hurt. Thanks for your input. Gently remind her that even with pets as "children" you expect them to listen, not bite, or beg, or climb in anyone! |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:58:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2017 14:00:25 GMT
Option 1: No dog. It's up to Sis if she wants to come. Don't feel too sorry for her. She is making a choice. Option 2: She stays in a separate accommodation with her dog. We have a dog, and we go out of our way to make sure he does not annoy or inconvenience others on family vacations. We often board him if we know we will have to be on constant alert with him. Of course, he's a 15-lb Shih Tzu who can be held. An 80-lb dog is a totally different story. Your sis probably sees him as her "child" and feels you wouldn't ask her to leave her child home. I totally disagree, but I know that's how some people think.  |
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Feb 20, 2017 14:58:59 GMT
As a compromise, though, could she board the dog in the town where you are vacationing, so that she could visit him? We had a destination wedding in the family and one person would not leave her dogs at home. She did however, board them near to where we were all staying. That satisfied her need to not leave the dogs, but also kept them from intruding on the rest of the guests. Your sister is being unreasonable to expect the rest of your family to accommodate such a large, unruly dog in the home with everyone else. |
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peabay
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Post by peabay on Feb 20, 2017 15:07:52 GMT
I would try to see if there were a kennel in the town you are visiting. But I have to agree dogs don't generally belong on vacation. That's what I would recommend. See if there's a really nice "doggie daycare" where her dog could reside nearby. She can visit with the dog when she wants. I adore my dog, but I know he's not a human and I don't even try to bring him everywhere. I don't understand why others don't see that. |
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Post by littlemama on Feb 20, 2017 15:29:31 GMT
Dogs are not people. People go on vacation. Dogs do not go on vacation. Dogs don't even know what vacation is.
If a family travelling on their own wants to take their dog on vacation, then by all means, go for it. When a group is going on vacation, leave the dog at home!
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MZF
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Post by MZF on Feb 20, 2017 16:20:18 GMT
My sister had the dog in training twice already. They are going again in March. (Is it common to go more than once?) Has your sister been trained in how to handle the dog? It doesn't do any good to train the dog if she hasn't been trained in how to deal with him. DS sent his dog to a 1 month training camp, then he and finance had about a week of training on how to deal with the dog. He is wonderfully behaved now (the dog, ha ha), but all the training would be undone if they didn't learn how to handle him. |
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The Great Carpezio
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Feb 20, 2017 16:46:37 GMT
I'm wondering if this got resolved as well.
I'm going to sit in the middle on this one----being a dog owner and being someone who has been "put out" by someone else's dogs.
The boarding nearby is a great idea, and I think a fair compromise. A dog isn't a human, but I do see similarities between children and dogs. There is a big difference between allowing unruly kids do whatever they want and ignoring bad behavior while the parents sip margaritias letting everyone around them suffer and a parent who has a difficult child and is trying to interact, engage and discipline that unruly child even if they are a bit annoying.
If your sister is really trying, that's one thing. If she has no follow through and is blind to the bad behavior, that's another.
We have never taken our dogs on a multi family vacation. We have taken them camping ----which I think it completely normal, and we have travelled with them to relatives and friends that are dog friendly. We board them or have had them stay with someone for every other trip. My brother and SIL brought their dogs with us on a cabin trip about four years ago. No one was excited by the prospect of two large barely trained dogs on vacation, but they were older gentlemen and the lack of training wasn't as much of an issue by that point and one of the dogs had just been given the diagnosis of a terminal illness, so we accepted the situation. It actually went really well; however, a couple years earlier, it might have been more of an issue.
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